Chapter 71

 

When I woke up, I was surprised that I felt at without with that ‘where am I?’ feeling. That made me feel a bit better, considering I seemed to be sleeping in a different place every other night. Now if my body could just get used to living with day as night and night as day, I’d probably have this other realm life licked.

Chase hadn’t made it back before I almost fell asleep in front of the giant TV screen. The fighting movie suddenly didn’t seem so action packed compared to the last few days of my life.

After showering and taking my time drinking the awesome coffee Tim brought, I started to feel anxious and could only surmise it was because I was going back to Troy’s half of Alterealm. There was the possibility, I thought, that it was because I was leaving Chase’s.

When I started just roaming the halls, with Tim trailing me of course, I didn’t really have a destination in mind but realized when I took a definite left at the last option I was heading towards Chase’s office. I wanted to see him suddenly. My stomach did this odd tightening, not in a bad way, in a totally good way, the way it did when Chase kissed me. Licking my lips, I thought of his sensual kisses; they melted me from the inside out. I guess that means the anxious feeling was from leaving him.

When I reached his door, it was open about an inch, so I took that to mean he wasn’t in some serious meeting if the door wasn’t closed. Pushing it open, I walked in. The tightening turned to heat coursing through me, and I knew then the feeling wasn’t my own at all, it was Chase’s and it was pure lust. I clutched at my stomach when my own feeling overrode the shared ones from him the second I saw him.

He was leaning against his desk with his shirt open as a tall red head in a very short, skin-tight blue dress was pressed up against him, her hands running up and down his chest as she straddled his leg. Their eyes were locked and his were a yellow that I knew well enough what was going on. My stomach flipped and that feeling that was purely my own became nausea.

The redhead gasped as Chase lifted his head and snapped around to look at me. I stood where I was, not moving. He straightened and pushed her away so she was no longer touching him. She looked at me and then sighed and quickly walked out the door on the other side of the room.

Chase stood there, his shirt hanging open, his eyes had gone back to normal and I could guilt filling them. A haze filled my head and I was lost, not even able to voice how I was feeling. Forcing myself to look away from him, I turned to go back out the way I’d come in.

“Damariss, please don’t walk away and leave it like this.”

I could hear his foot-steps behind me and his hand closed the door over my head before I could get out it. Taking a deep breath, I turned and looked up at him.

“My brother is a great man and true King,” he said softly his voice heavy with emotion. “He’s everything I can’t be due to circumstance I can’t change.” He moved away from the door and put a few feet between us. “I would give him anything of this earth, except you,” with a shaking hand he ran it through his hair, “not like this.”

I leaned back against the door, not sure if my legs were steady enough without something to support me. I moved my eyes over him as he stood watching me. His shirt still hung open, there was lipstick on his chest and I had to force my eyes to move past it. His cheeks were flushed and I honestly didn’t know if it was from him feeding or the woman that had been manhandling him. A sadness filled me. “I can’t do this, Chase.” I shook my head so he wouldn’t speak. “I understand you have to feed on emotion but I can’t accept that.” I pointed to the door the woman had gone out.

“I don’t always feed off sexual emotions. I just prefer it when time is short because it is the safest one, the one that I can’t take too much from the other person.”

I wanted to believe him, but there was that little feeling in my gut that I got when things weren’t what they seemed. “Do you ever feed off males?” He jolted like I’d poked him in the gut instead of asked a question. “That’s answer enough.”

He stepped towards me and then stopped. “If you were with me I would only come to you.”

My heart throbbed, I wanted to believe him, I really did. “What if I’m on the other side for more than a day? You’d starve yourself? I can’t be responsible for that, you’re a ruler, your subjects depend on you.”

“I would wait. A day won’t harm me.”

He started to move toward me but I couldn’t do this. Turning, I swung the door open before he had a chance to say anything else. Quinton was on the other side of the opening and I launched myself at him into his arms before he could move out of the way.

Cradling me into his large chest, his big hand holding my head tight against him, he turned so I was sheltered away from his brother. “What did you do?” His tone was serious and quiet.

“She came in while I was feeding off of Sabina.”

Quinton stiffened. “Alterealm’s whore? You feed off the whore?” His voice was filled with disbelief.

I cringed knowing it was worse than I had thought. Quinton tried to squeeze me tighter, but I moved out of his arms unable to be here a second longer. Closing my eyes, I thought of my apartment.

When I opened them, I was in the dim living room. Turning, I stumbled to my bedroom and threw myself on the bed.

I don’t know how long I lay there in the dark but when I opened my eyes I could see Chase leaning against the wall by the window.

He came over and squatted down beside the bed.

“I’m sorry, Chase.”

“So am I, kitten. Return soon, my brothers need you.” Leaning over, he placed a kiss on my forehead.

I closed my eyes and when I opened them to say something he was gone. Rolling over, I decided to lay there and wallow in self-pity for a while before I kicked myself in the ass for being such a ninny and got on with life again.

It wasn’t like I had any say in what he did, right? We had no commitment, we had nothing. There was no reason to sit in the dark and listen to Air Supply. Seriously he was a grown man, a few hundred years kind of grown, he could feed and get his kicks too if he wanted. I wasn’t going to condemn him for that. I just couldn’t imagine kissing him, and all the bits that went along with that while knowing he filled his cravings with other women.

Laying there, I looked at it that way, and ten other ways, all close to the same. When another thought invaded my brain, it was clear that I had other things to consider. If that was truly something I couldn’t live with for, oh, let’s say forever than where did that leave me with the choosing which King to be mated with?

The choice was Troy. I didn’t know how I felt about him at all. Aside from the heat between us, he wasn’t much like Chase. He didn’t do sarcasm, which in case I haven’t mentioned it, is my favorite language. Troy wasn’t real big on sharing his thoughts either, at least never that I’d experienced. He may seem like he was all laid back and calm, but from what I’d seen he was stiff and all aloof, in a Victor way. Could I live with that?

I really didn’t think so.

What now? Sitting up, I looked around my, to be honest, crap hole of an apartment and wished for a long second that I’d never taken the job of chasing down a jumper named Wanda the Witch. Guilt filled me, as I accepted that if I hadn’t, then the balance may have been seriously screwed and apocalyptic style events would have occurred. Yeah, I didn’t want to be the cause of all that.

End result of all this deep thinking? I was a living snafu no matter which way I looked at it. Uttering about twenty of the first curses I could come up with, I got up and wandered back out into the living room. It was dimly lit by a street light. I didn’t bother turning on a light, because it looked better in the dark.