Hunter

Walking out of ‘the grind’ I instantly feel the cold Autumn air whip at my skin, feeling the sting from the snaps of cold, I look around at the new fallen leaves, Autumn is my favourite month of the year, it’s a constant reminder of the changes the world goes through, I’ve always found it beautiful how the trees, life and everything in it, dies and gets reborn into the Spring, it’s like our bodies, personalities, souls, we die constantly, but we know Spring will come round and once more we will be reborn, renewed, with a zest for new life.

Walking out in Autumn always gave me a sense of peace, it was a good time to reflect on the year you’d had, usually I’d have nothing much to reflect on, I suppose you’d say I lived a normal boring life, or it would be boring to most, I was a book worm, I’d always preferred books over boys, books were like magic, they took you to places you’d never believed possible, my thirst for knowledge is what drew me to books in the first place, I’d always dreamed of a love like the stories I’d read, of course I knew that was just a dream—until I met Hunter.

If I hadn’t been pressured to date Tom I was certain I’d still be a virgin today, we were never a good fit from the start, it was always awkward, strained, fake, much like my parents marriage, I’d seen the warning signs years ago but I’d chosen to ignore them, mostly because he let me live my life how I wanted to live it, I used to think it was out of love and kindness and now I was certain it was so he could live his how he wanted to live his, like how I found him the day I walked away from him, that almost felt like fate because if it wasn’t for that situation I’d have never met Hunter.

This year I had many things to reflect on as I walked silently beside Bailey in the cold Autumn breeze, like meeting Hunter, that almost feels like fate, but in the back of my mind I’m always wondering was it doomed from the start, of course I wasn’t exactly heartbroken when I’d found Tom in that position with blondie but I was disappointed, I knew we wasn’t happy but he could have been honourable and ended it instead of sneaking around behind my back, it wasn’t really that I was upset I’d lost him because if I was honest, I’d never really had him. It was more the deceit and how he’d made me feel about myself, I’d actually questioned why he’d do that to me, but it had nothing to do with me and everything to do with him, but women do that, they blame themselves when they are cheated on, I’d never understood why, until it happened to me, I suppose in the back of your mind you question your own sanity because they’ve made you question it, you blame yourself because you don’t want to hold them accountable for their own actions, it’s much easier to just think there is something wrong with you because if you really laid the blame on them you’d have to admit to yourself all the warning signs you ignored, you’d have to admit to yourself that they’d got away with it for so long because you allowed them to, you allowed them to treat you this way out fear, fear of rejection, fear of starting again, just fear that you’d wasted years with someone who didn’t deserve a second of your time, let alone years. Yes it’s much easier to blame yourself than face the truth because more often than not, the truth is a bitter pill to swallow and nobody wants to drive down that fucking train wreck! When you finally lift the curtain you can find your freedom, you can let go of the fear and maybe losing that person who didn’t care enough about hurting you is exactly the wake up call you needed to truly find yourself.

Of course, I slipped from one drama to another in less than 24 hours, what a cruel twist of fate that the man of my dreams would turn out to be my very hot professor, yes this year I had plenty to reflect on, for a girl who usually curled up with a book and never sought out any excitement, I’d sure experienced quite a lot of it lately, Bailey always said trouble followed me wherever I went—now I was inclined to agree with her.

Walking up to the park I see bustles of bodies, students reading in the Autumn sun, curled up near the big oak trees, chatting, laughing, I’d not expected the crowd to be so big today, when the colder weather came the students usually sought comfort indoors where they’d feel the warmth, but today was different, it was swarming with people, we walk past a large group of girls, who wave maniacally for us to join them, I inwardly groan, I wanted to just take a peaceful walk and then go home, maybe sink into a nice hot bath and get ready to go see my sexy professor, I plaster on the biggest fake smile as I stride towards the group of students who are grinning like idiots, happily chatting on a dark wooden bench, I half wonder how they’ve all managed to fit on one bench, scientifically it shouldn’t be possible—and yet it is.

Bailey had strode in front of me and was now sitting on the bench that had crammed at least fifteen people on it—again I look on in astonishment and wonder—how.

“Come sit.” She smiles, sit? Sit where, it couldn’t surely seat another person I think, but I’m wrong, they all budge up and I’m crammed on this quaint little bench with infinite seats it appears.

“So what were you all just talking about?” Bailey asks, honestly I don’t really care, I smile and nod at the correct times but I didn’t really care for these types of chats, they like to sit and gossip, I often wondered what they said about me, because you better believe if they’re happy talking about others behind their back, they’re happy talking about you, I much preferred animals to people at least they were trust worthy, if an animal didn’t like you you’d know about it, if a person didn’t like you—well you’d never know because people were devious, yes I much preferred animals, people—meh, I could do without those.

“A scandal.” Sandra exclaims excitedly, now Sandra is your typical ‘queen bitch’ every school has one, you know the type, a mass of followers who deem her ‘the popular kid’ well college wasn’t any different, the girls were just as mean in college as they were in high school, except for one tiny detail—they were smarter. She knew everything mostly because she had little spies all over campus, they would never be upgraded to be in her clique, but she deemed them useful, so they got the title of being popular without being popular, I never got what the fuss was about in all honesty, I thought once you left high school, you left all the childish shit behind you—clearly I was wrong, she was your typical cheerleader type, tall, athletic, long blonde hair, loved herself, you know the type, I look around at the eager faces as they hang on her every word waiting to hear the scandalous news she has, I half expect her to say something mundane and boring, after all nothing scandalous happens here—well nothing that’s open knowledge anyway.

“I was walking on campus as you do—.” I roll my eyes, I’m dying to leave, after all, I know she’s going to drag this out, she often tells these tid bits of information like stories you’d read in the book—merely for the shock factor, nothing more.

“Then what happened?” One of her minions cries.

“Bailey, Bailey, I think—.”

“Shhhh, Sandra is telling us her story.” Lacey scolds me, Sandra’s second in command, she’s voluptuous, pretty with rosy cheeks, she’s Sandra’s little confident, she reminded me of a drill sergeant, always by her side ready to pounce if anyone dare offend her little queen, I roll my eyes and huff but stay silent like a good little soldier.

“Anyway, I hear a commotion, peaking my head round the corner of the common room I see her, she looks like a supermodel, definitely not from here, she’s screaming, her vibrant red hair swaying with every swing of her head, then she screams, “god damn it I’m still your wife.” 

Oh, how exciting I think rolling my eyes, someone is married, I knew this was a waste of my time, why was I even still sitting here listening to this drivel, I stand as I turn to walk away, “then he comes into view—it’s only our new professor, Hunter Brooks.” I hear the gasps and surprise from all of them, frozen to the spot, my whole body freezes.

“Wait, but how is that a scandal?”

“Apparently, he only came here to clear the massive debts she’d run up.”

“So?”

“So, our mysterious little professor—.”

I couldn’t listen to anymore, I rush past all of the gossiping queens, “Lex,” I hear Bailey calling, I don’t turn to look at her, I dare not as I feel the fresh tears sting the back of my eyes, “I’m fine babe, you stay.” I feel her hand at my back, “Lex,” but I didn’t respond, I charged forward back to the apartment never looking back, but I knew she wasn’t following me. 

Coming to a clearing not far from the apartment, I finally slink down onto a brown wooden bench, with my hands over my eyes, I finally let the tears fall down my face, how could he be married? Isn’t that something he should have told me? He couldn’t be married, he just couldn’t, I think as my body shakes, the tears won’t stop falling down my face, the sobs get caught in my throat as I break down, on a bench in the cold Autumn air.

I feel a hand make circles at my back as I feel someone sit beside me, looking to the side of me, I look into his eyes and I see pity, “Hey, Lex, what’s wrong.” I shake my head, “Come on, how long have we been friends, you can tell me anything.”

“I can’t.” I sob. Blaine instantly pulls me into his body, it feels warm and comforting as I just sit there embraced in his arms, allowing the tears to fall freely, until my sobs quiet down, raising my head with tear stained red eyes I look at him, thank you.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” I shake my head. “If someone has hurt you, I will kill them.” I finally let out a small laugh, “Oh, my hero.”

“Hey, I could be.”

“If you’re not going to tell me, at least let me get you out of the cold.”

“Oh, no Blaine, I’m fine—.”

“Lexie, you are many things, but fine is not one of them.” 

He’s looking down at me with hope and concern, I can’t let him walk me back to the apartment, not after what I’ve learned of his secret feelings towards me, of course I know he’d never make a move because he never had, but I’d feel guilty knowing that he wanted to be more than friends, I didn’t want to give him hope—after all he was my friend, I didn’t want to hurt him, I half wished I was still oblivious to his feelings, it was so much easier when I didn’t know—when he was just Blaine, and now it was just—awkward.

“Come on, I won’t bite.” He smiles, slowly I get up and walk by his side, we don’t speak the short walk back to my apartment, but I guess we don’t need to, standing just below the steps, he shifts from one foot to the other awkwardly, I know he wants me to invite him in, that’s what I should do, invite him in, forget about Hunter and have a normal relationship, Blaine could have probably made me happy in another life, in another time, but not this one.

Standing closer I wrap my arms around his neck, feeling his hard body smash against mine, his warmth envelopes me instantly and I feel a sense of comfort from my friend, “thank you.” I whisper into his neck, kissing him on his cold cheek, I smile, “you’re a good friend.” He smiles, but I instantly see the disappointment as I watch him turn and walk away.

I sigh as I think of the events of the day, I’m about to turn to go wallow in self pity in the comfort of my room when I see his steely gaze staring daggers into my soul, he charges forward, oh no, I can’t deal with this I think, I will my legs to move, to run, run anywhere away from him but I’m frozen to the spot.

“Lexie, can we talk.” He grits. I just stare at him.

“Lexie—.”

“Is it true?” I whisper.

“Have you been crying?” His hand comes towards my cheek, letting his fingers gently stroke my cheek, instantly I melt.

“Lexie?”

“Is it true?” I ask with more conviction.

“Is what true?”

“Are you married?” The words hang in the air, just lingering, never moving, just stuck mid air.

“It’s not what you think—.”

“Right.”

“Fuck sake Lexie, can I come in?”

“Why? So you can lie your way out of it.”

“I never lied to you, I came here because after an unbelievably shit day, the only person I wanted to see was—you, and what did I come here to find, oh yes, you in the arms of another man, but not just any man, no—the one you said I didn’t have to worry about.”

Was he joking? Was he seriously going to stand there and blame me after what I’d just found out, what he saw was completely innocent, however, maybe what I’d heard about him was completely innocent—maybe, after all I hadn’t heard him out, I’d heard gossip and jumped to my own conclusions, it could be innocent—right?

“You better come in.” I utter in defeat as I walk up the steps, never saying a word to him, even when I walk into the apartment and hear him close the door, I stay silent, I can’t even look at him, slumping down onto the settee, looking down at my feet, I hear his footsteps come towards me but I still don’t look up, every time I look at him my resolve weakens, and I can’t show weakness—not now. 

“Lexie?” I don’t answer him.

“Lexie, will you speak to me?” Slowly I raise my head, “Sure, what would you like to talk about?”

“What?”

“You’re married, what is there left to say.” I utter barely a whisper.

“Yes, I’m married, but—.” I shake my head, “And you didn’t think to tell me this from day one, you had months to divulge that information, but no, you’ve put me in an impossible position—what am I saying, this has been a disaster from day one.” 

I stand up, what is there left to say, he’s married and I’m just—his student, this was never going to end well, but I’d never thought it would end with him keeping a secret as big as this, he was committed to a whole fucking person and I’d be classed as the home wrecker, no I couldn’t be labelled as a home wrecker, I didn’t know he was married, this wasn’t my fault—it was his.

“You can go now.” I announce.

“Go?” He looks confused, I’m not sure why, I’m not sure what he thought he would accomplish by coming up here, I only invited him so we didn’t have an audience, they were already talking about his secret marriage as a scandal, imagine what they’d say if they found out their professor was screwing a student—and while he was married, I couldn’t be involved in a scandal, it would ruin everything I’d worked so hard for, it would have all been for nothing and the only achievement I’d get is for screwing my professor, no I had to end it now.

“Yes, go.” 

“Lexie, please let me explain.”

“It won’t change anything.”

“God damn it, why are you so difficult.” He stands up facing me.

“Well—you won’t have to worry about it now.” He starts edging closer, slowly backing away I hope his movements stop, but the closer I edge near the wall, the closer he gets to my body.

“Yeah, and why’s that.”

“I—it’s over—.” His hand reaches for my waist and I can feel his hot breath massage my neck, “Lexie, don’t do this.” I want to be strong and walk away from him, no that’s a lie, I don’t want to walk away because I’ve fallen for this man, even though he’s my professor and he’s married, I’ve fallen deep, but I don’t see this having a happy ending—just an ending.

“Lexie.” His lips gently kiss the length of my neck, I want to stifle a moan but once again my body fails me, a small moan slips from the back of my throat, “I’m here to pay off the debts and finally be rid of my crazy wife—.” His lips move higher, I’m gasping, “We were young and stupid,” his tongue slivers out causing shivers to run down my spine. “I tried to make it work, but I just wasn’t in love with her.” A gasp leaves my breath as I finally let my lungs fill with air, his hands travel up my body, leaving goosebumps everywhere he touches me, my breathing is erratic, I know he can sense the sudden change in my body, “Lexie, please—,” my lips find his and once again I’m falling, his mouth crashes hard against mine, his hand travels to the wetness in the crevice of my thighs, crying out, tears spill down my face, “god, you’re so beautiful.” He whispers, “I—.” He fingers twirl inside of me, I’m holding on only by the strong arm that holds me, “god, you just do things to me,” he presses his body hard against mine to show me exactly what I’ve done to him, I feel his hard cock press against my thigh, once more I let out a long pleasurable moan, his mouth finds mine and I manage to utter the words, “I want you.” 

This seems to be all it takes to unleash the beast, he’s like a man possessed, removing my clothes with urgency, this is not gentle, this is urgent, like he needs to be inside me, as much as he needs to breathe, he carries me to my bedroom, gently laying me down on the bed, kicking the door closed, he takes the chair that I usually sit at to do my hair and make up, with his legs spread on either side of his body, his eyes roam across my naked frame, I look at him with confusion, “I want to see you play.” I blink rapidly.

“What did you say?”

“Stick your fingers in that tight, wet pussy and show me how you pleasure yourself.” 

“But—.”

“I’m so fucking hard for you, Lexie, show me how I make you feel.” He pants.

I’ve never pleasured myself in front of anyone, it’s strange, I suddenly feel a mix of nervousness and excitement and as I look across at his face, I see the same excitement as his tongue slips out, licking his bottom lip as he gazes at me with that dark look of desire.

My hands slide down my body slowly, “Fuck, you’re killing me,” I smile, never taking my eyes off of his, my hands reach lower, I can already feel the hot stickiness that lay between my legs, plunging my fingers inside my sticky, wet hole, I cry out, faster, my fingers dove in and out, feeling the slush of my own juices, I never take my eyes off of him, with my mouth wide open, crying at out at my self pleasure, he stands, I hear the faint sound of the zipper as he removes his clothes, grabbing my hands and plunging them out of my dripping pussy, he lowers himself down on top of me, holding my arms above my head, “now you didn’t think I was going to allow you to cum, did you.”

I am utterly shocked as I see his dark gaze peering down at me, tingles shoot through my body, the way he restrains me send waves of excitement travelling the length of my body, I try squirm beneath him, but it’s futile, with a small smirk, he firmly holds me in place, just staring into my eyes, never touching me apart from restraining my arms above my head, my body burns with heat for him, I want him to touch me, I yearn for his touch, letting his body sink into mine, “do you think you deserve to cum?” I nod my head, unsure if it’s the right response, I’m not even sure I deserve it, but I sure do fucking want it. 

“Well, Miss Mcvay do you deserve to cum?” I nod, “you do?” 

“Yes.” I breathlessly breathe out.

His hand slivers down my chest, I see my chest rise and fall, goosebumps raise at each slight movement, “come on, Lexie, how bad do you want to cum?” A gasp falls from my mouth, his lips come down across my chest, snaking his tongue down the crevice of my aching breasts, “ah,” slight moans slip out with each light stroke his tongue gives across my chest, “how wet are you Lexie, I bet you’re fucking soaking,” my cries get louder, “you are such a fucking good girl,” my head rolls back trying to suppress the screams that want to fall out, “look how your body responds to me, you’re my fucking dirty girl,” I couldn’t take anymore, no man had ever brought me to my knees like this, I was completely at his mercy, every fibre of my being yearned for his touch, “please—.” I beg, finally losing control. “Your skin tastes like fucking heaven,” he pushes his body further into mine, I instantly feel his thick hard cock pressing against my body, “Oh fuck, Hunter, please—,” I beg him once more, but he’s taking his time, his hand snakes around my neck as I feel him force his thick cock into my tingling, wet pussy, finally I scream, finally I feel full, his squeeze on my neck becomes more forceful, I instantly clench around his throbbing cock that’s nestled deep inside of me, like a snug little cock warmer, “Oh fuck, oh fuck,” he screams out, as he thrusts deeper inside of my dripping pussy, “Oh yes sir, just—like—that,” I feel the sting of tears crawl down my face as the pleasure crashes over me, “god, you’re fucking perfect.” He whispers into my hair as the last bursts of pleasure exits his body meeting mine in a perfect explosion of dignified lust and desire.

I’m not sure how long we lay there in each other’s arms, but there is something so touching, serene and beautiful about the moment as I lay in his arms, the warmth of what I feel for Hunter spreads to my heart.

The way he just stares at me while I’m in his embrace is something entirely indescribable, if I could pocket this memory and lock it in a jar, keep it safe to revisit, I’d know that each time would just feel like it was the first time, with his new confession of going through a messy divorce, I knew our situation had just hit new levels of complicated, but I didn’t care, I’d have swam an entire ocean, walked through hot coals if it meant I got to be right here in this moment with him, I’d never expected to meet him and even under the circumstances I had, I wouldn’t change a single second because Hunter Brooks had rocked my world, he was as sexy as sin, but more than that, he had hidden depths that had crawled into the crevices of my soul and lit me up from the inside.

His hand strokes my cheek as he lovingly gazed into my eyes, “I wish this didn’t have to be like this.” He utters, I never say a word, “you deserve to be more than a secret, Lexie,” a lump forms in my throat, I know hours previous to this I was ready to walk away, but in this moment I know I can’t, I can’t walk away from this man, he’s crawled under my skin and despite the circumstances I want him, I don’t want to leave him, “I should let you go—.” Oh no, please don’t say what I think you’re going to say, “But I just can’t, you’re mine, I won’t ever let you go.” He places a light kiss on the tip of my nose and unexpectedly I find myself smiling.

“Don’t make promises you can’t.” I smile.

“You think I’d let you go?” I nod. “Oh miss, you really haven’t been paying attention.” I look at him with confusion, “when I tell you you’re perfect, I don’t say this out of habit and I’m sure there are some things about you that are less than perfect, but to me you are perfectly imperfect.”

I very nearly melted, he knew just what to say to creep into my heart and soul, with only his words he had my legs shaking with warmth, he’d crawled deep under my skin, I couldn’t imagine my life without him, looking into his icy blue eyes, I see it, I see the genuine touch of his words, I see the truth in his eyes and genuine love of his smile, in this moment I see him.

“What are you doing to me?” I utter.

“You tell me,” he cheekily smirks.

“Ruining me, you’re ruining me.”

“I wouldn’t dream of ruining you Miss Mcvay,”

“No?” He shakes his head. “What do you dream of doing?”

“Just this,” he smiles, “just this.”