LEXIE MCVAY

Staring into the bottom of the clear glass that had droplets of brown liquid that I had moments ago tossed down my throat, feeling the cool burning drink of whiskey course through my veins, willing the alcohol to take away every piece of me that longed to forget the events of the day.

But I didn’t forget.

The events of the day played over and over again in my mind, stuck on a loop.

The more I thought about it, the angrier I became.

How could I be so stupid?

“He’s not worth it; you know.” 

I look up, seeing Bailey smiling back at me; of course, she was right.

“Who?” She eyed me curiously.

“Come on, babe; he’s not worth your tears.”, I scowled at her.

“Do you see any tears?” I spat back at her.

“No”, I smiled with conviction because I hadn’t shed a tear for him, not one.

“He torments your mind, though, Lexie.”

“Not true.”

“No?”

“Nope, I’m over it.”

“Oh really? Is that why you’re staring into the bottom of a glass, hoping to gain an answer like it’s a magic eight ball that will give you unknown wisdom” I rolled my eyes at her.

“That’s not what I’m doing.”

“Yes, you are, you are wallowing, and I won’t allow it.”

“Well, misery does love company”, I mumbled.

I felt her slide on the stool next to me; I huffed and didn’t care if she heard me; all I wanted to do was drink my sorrows away.

Alone.

“Bailey—.”

“Come on, sad face.” curiously I eyed her.

“We are going out.” I laughed.

What a ridiculous notion, out? I wasn’t going out, I wasn’t going anywhere, which part of my situation made her think I wanted to be among people, I didn’t want to see anyone, I wanted to sit here and forget about Tom, forget what he did and drink until I passed out.

“No.”

“Lexie, come on.”

“Bailey, I said no.”

“We can drink, dance, forget about that fuck boy.”

“Bailey, no, besides classes start tomorrow”

“Oh no, you don’t.”

“What?”

“You are coming out; I’m not listening to excuses about college.”

“Bailey, I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but I can’t; I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, babe, but you know where we are if you change your mind.” She crookedly smiled; I knew what it was; it was a smile full of pity.

Great, she pitied me.

Her slender arms came around my neck as her copper curls tickled my face, hugging me tighter.

“Don’t forget—.”

“I know; thank you, Bailey.”

“Love you, babe.”

“Love you too, Bailey.”

I watched as she turned and waltzed out of our apartment, Bailey meant well, and I knew she was trying to make me feel better, but this was one thing she couldn’t fix.

Bailey was a fixer, she hated anyone to be sad, but she couldn’t fix this and she knew she couldn’t.

EARLIER THAT DAY

I had spent the day shopping with the girls; I was hyped about starting a new day at college tomorrow, I had been hand-picked to be the new professor’s PA, when I applied I never thought I’d get chosen, today I’d bought new clothes to make a good impression, I worked hard at college. 

I excelled in all my classes, and this would be an excellent opportunity for my career in the future.

I was skipping up the steps to see my boyfriend, Tom Walters.

Tom was an athlete.

I met Tom in high school; we had planned to go to the same college. 

Next year we would attend the same university, five years we had been together, he wasn’t only my partner he was one of my friends; I hadn’t shared the news with him about my new PA position, but I knew he’d be happy for me, he always was.

I didn’t usually turn up unannounced, but I wanted to do something out of character; I wanted to be impulsive, take a risk, he always told me I should loosen up, take more risks while I was young, so I was starting today.

Stood outside of his door, I peeked at the number 10 edged in gold before I put my hand on the golden knob and turned it till I heard the click, thrusting open the door and stepping into Tom’s apartment, I stood there smiling but as I watched the horror in front of my eyes, my smile slowly faded.

There he was, my Tom, straddling some leggy blonde, thrusting, my blood ran cold.

How could he.

I stood there watching on in horror, trying to make sense of what I was seeing.

A loud, piercing scream left my mouth; shaking with anger; I stood there glaring as he turned his head; guilt was written across his face.

“Shit, Lexie.”

“How could you.” I screamed at him.

“Wait, this is not what it looks like.”

“No?”

“So you tripped and your cock fell inside of her?” He made a move to get up, I put my hands up.

“Oh, please don’t stop on my account.” I turned slamming his door as I left.

What was the point in staying?

What could he say that would rectify that fucking display?

Nothing.

He had thrown away our entire relationship on whatever that shit show was and I was seething with anger.

I tried to cry, cry for what I’d just lost, but the tears never came, just the feeling of sadness that now drowned me.

The only thing I could think to do was go home and drink until I forgot.

LEXIE MCVAY

So here I was, sat at the kitchen bar in my apartment I shared with Bailey drinking whiskey alone, nursing my broken heart.

Was my heart broken?

I hadn’t cried.

I was disappointed, but was I heart broken?

I wasn’t sure.

I thought I’d feel more.

Just more.

But I was numb.

Disappointed.

My perfect world had been ripped apart, and all I could think was how disappointed I was that he had embarrassed me, betrayed me.

How long had it been going on for?

We’re they all talking about it behind my back?

Lexie the idiot who didn’t even know that her jackass boyfriend was fucking someone else behind her back.

I was driving myself insane sitting here.

How could I face everyone tomorrow?

No, pull yourself together, Lexie; I needed to get out.

Walking down the street, the rain fell hard, soaking me.

It felt refreshing as it washed over my tainted soul, that’s what he had done, tainted everything we had built and turned it to shit, but that’s what fuck boys did, spoiled everything they fucking touched.

I wandered with no direction, which was not like me at all.

I was regimented, in everything, I planned and prepped for, feeling out of control drove me crazy, I needed power, I craved it, it was apart of me, maybe that’s why I hadn’t cried because he’d shattered the illusions of my perfect life and my perfect life was now not so perfect after all.

The street was silent; all I could hear was the dripping of the rain as it fell; the only light was the glow from the street lamps that lit up the darkness.

Small lights beamed out onto the quiet street; curiously, I followed the lights; turning the corner, I came to a stop looking up at the neon lights that read Bewitching Jewel.

Curiously I peered at the hidden bar; it had an interesting name, and it was tucked away; I’d never seen this bar before; it was a hidden jewel.

Why not, I thought as I stepped up to the doors of Bewitching Jewel and entered.