The day started early for me, Bailey had come rushing in talking about visiting ‘the grind’ I disagreed profusely and I thought I’d won until a pillow came hurtling towards my face.

“Bailey.” I scream.

“Come on, Lex.” She begs.

“Fine.” I finally give into her puppy dog eyes, “Perfect, I will wait for you in the living room.” She skips back out of my room as fast as she’s waltzed into it.

I didn’t really want to visit ‘the grind’ but I felt guilty for not been around as much and she clearly wanted some girly bonding time, so I’d succumbed to her whiny protests and they were especially whiny today.

The walk to ‘the grind’ is a quiet one, I half expect Bailey to have a million questions after my confession last night, but she’s eerily quiet, I’m not sure if it’s because I’ve been absent lately or because of why I’ve been absent, but it’s unlike her to not say anything, usually she talks your ear off even when you don’t want her to.

“Is everything okay?” I ask.

“Yeah, why do you ask?”

“You’re oddly quiet this morning, it’s not like you.”

“I’m just—worried.”

“About me?”

“No, about the milkman, yes about you, what you said last night was a big deal.”

“I know.”

“Huge.”

“I know.”

“It’s just—.”

“What?”

“I don’t want you getting hurt.” Throwing my arms around Bailey is the only thing I can think to do, I’m touched that her silence is based on her level of worry for me, she’s the only person in my life that ever did show real concern for me, of course I can see where her anxiety comes from with this whole situation because I shared it right with her and she was possibly right, if it all went wrong it would me that would be left hurt and it would be Bailey who would be left to pick up the pieces.

“What was that for?” I shrug my shoulders, “I just love you, that’s all.”

“Come on, you soppy duck, I love you too.”




Winter was just around the corner, I could see the brilliant lighting of ‘the grind’ as we walk across the vast parking lot,there were tables outside the shop each with a vintage brown umbrella, the coffee wasn’t the only reason I loved this place, even though the smells made you feel like you were visiting a place long forgotten, it was the quaint little book corner on the left hand side of the shop, where you could purchase books, as we make our way through the transparent glass door, a blanket of warm air instantly hits me and the sweet smell of coffee beans, it wasn’t heaving like it usually was, it was surprisingly quiet, the air smelt of coffee and baked goods, just walking into the area always made me smile, I make my way to the coffee bar at the end of the shop made of reclaimed wood with Bailey following close behind, a barista stood before me, he welcomed me with a charming smile, I got my cup of Americano and paid for it in the next counter. 

The aged wooden floor creaked beneath me as I was walking towards my table. I made myself comfortable on a bulky wooden chair, when I was about take the first sip of my cup of coffee the looks of the cup caught my eye, it had a very rich vintage look itself, everything in this shop reminded me of another world far, far away, away from the busy bustle of the city, this place reminded me of a magical place you’d only visit in quiet corners of your mind.

Bailey hadn’t rejoined me just yet, she always took longer to decide but it gave me chance to just sit and sink into the delicious aroma of the coffee that swam through my senses like a dark delicacy.

“Lexie Mcvay as I live and breathe.”

“Blaine, fancy seeing you here.”

“Best place to get my coffee fix, mind if I sit?”

“Of course not.” I smile.

“Hey, I never asked, how much trouble did you get in with the professor?”

“Oh, a lot.” I laugh, “all sorted now though.” I smile.

“Yeah, you were always good at fluttering those eyes to get out of trouble.” He winks, was he flirting? No impossible, Blaine was like a brother, a very hot brother, but a brother all the same.

“I never did that.” I laugh. His hand moves across the table, his fingers lightly brush against mine.

What was happening right now?

“You always were oblivious to the effect you had on—others.”

“I’m just—.”

“Hey, how long was I gone?” I quickly move my hand away from Blaine’s.

“Hey, Bailey, you remember—.” I point in Blaine’s direction.

“Wow—you got hot.” I hear him laugh, as his eyes wonder back towards me, it must be in my head though, Blaine can’t be attracted to me, that’s not possible, I’d known him years, I used to sleepover at his his, just like one of the boys, but the way he was looking at me right now led me to believe maybe I was never one of the boys.

He happily chatted with Bailey, I was just an audience to their conversation, sure I could have joined in but they seemed to be getting on so well, I thought why ruin it.

“Hey, are you okay?” I nod at Bailey, “you’ve not said anything for ages.”

“I was happy listening.” I smile.

“I really should be going.” Blaine suddenly announces, “We should catch up sometime Lexie.” I hear his husky voice, suddenly the heat creeps to my cheeks, I’m not used to this much attention and I can’t decide if I like it or not.

“Woah,” Bailey swoons as she watches him leave the coffee shop, I roll my eyes at her.

“See something you like?”

“That boy is damn fine.” She swoons once more.

“You should go for it.”

“Go for what?”

“Well, Blaine.” She places her hand on mine like a mother would comforting her child.

“Ah, babe, I would be in there like a shot, but I think he has eyes for someone else.” I instantly blush. “C’mon Lex, he’s always had a thing for you.” “That’s not true.” I shake my head.

“C’mon, why do you think he hung around with you so much?”

“We we’re friends.”

“Uh huh, and did you once see him with a girl?”

“That doesn’t mean anything, I was like one of the boys.” She lets out a small giggle.

“We used to tease him that he would be stuck in the friend zone forever, it seems we were right because you my little oblivious friend, had no idea did you?”

“Well, uh—no, no I didn’t.”

“Ah, Lex, see I told you, if you keep those pretty eyes of yours closed all the time, you never know what you will miss.

“We are just friends.”

“Okay, but maybe you should tell him that.” She goes back to slurping her cup of coffee.

What she was saying, that couldn’t be true could it?

I didn’t want Blaine to think of me like that, it would make things—awkward, how long had he had these feelings? Well according to Bailey the whole time—the whole damn time and yet he’d said nothing, not one god damn word, it was a bit late now wasn’t it, so why now? What was it he said that I was oblivious to how I effected others, well I wasn’t aware I effected others, so how could I know I effected others, we were friends, that’s all we’d ever be, friends that’s all, I repeatedly tell myself.

I must have looked so pathetic sat there in turmoil with myself because when I look up, she staring at me with eyes full of pity, great she pitied me, “just forget about it.” I smiled, but how could I forget that my oldest friend had a crush on me all this time, but he never said anything, not one fucking word.

“Already forgotten.” I smile.