LEXIE 

Hunter had been distant recently, he’d even been absent from class, I wanted to text him, find out what had happened.

Had I scared him away?

Wasn’t he the one that had professed his feelings and yet here I was feeling confused and inadequate once again.

I should have text him but all those love gurus say that, that’s the worst thing you can do, was I really reading love gurus to find out how to act? Yes, yes I was, this was how crazy he made me, supposedly according to the love experts, don’t contact them, wait for them to contact you, absence makes the heart grow fonder supposedly—I wasn’t sure, but it was better than looking like I desperately needed him, even if I did, I was never going to tell him that.

“Hey, babe.”

“Lex, earth to Lexie.” I look up and see Bailey beaming up at me.

“Hey.” I give her my best winning smile, she’d never believe it was about Tom six months later, and as I couldn’t tell her, or anyone for that matter about my secret love affair, my thoughts would have to stay in my head.

“Are you ready?”

“For what?”

“Did you leave your brains on your pillow this morning.” Charming as always Bailey. I squint at her. “Sun springs, are you still coming?”

Ah, right Sun Springs, the best camping site for this time of year, anyone who’s anyone attends, it’s basically a hot spot for students to completely let loose, it’s not as naturalistic as camping, more camping with a hint of glam—glamping.

“Of course I’m coming.” I smile, I’ve got nothing better to do I think solemnly.

“Great, I’m taking you for a tall mocha latte, then we’ll come back here and pack up, sound good babe?”

“Sounds good.”

She looks at me waiting for me to move, “Fine, fine, I’m coming, let’s go.” I smile, while picking up my denim jacket and wrapping it round my body, there was a cool breeze but it was still warm enough for my shorts and vest, we chat happily as we walk to ‘The Grind.’

‘The Grind’ is heaving today which isn’t unusual for a Saturday, but they make the best lattes around, so standing is a small sacrifice to make to get that sweet caffeine flowing through my veins, the outside tables are crammed with people laughing and enjoying the summer breeze.

“Oh my god is that—.” Bailey squeals in my ear, almost popping an eardrum.

I’m in a daze, my body feels like it’s instantly gone into shock at her excited shrill in the base of my eardrum, I rub my ear repeatedly but the action is lost on her.

“Bailey, I’d like my ears in tact thanks.”

“I’m sorry babe, but look.”

My eyes search the perimeter, but I can’t see what would cause her outburst, that is until my eyes fall on the table close to the door, my stomach drops, the color instantly drains from my face, I think my heart is pounding that fast it almost beats out of my chest, I want to turn and run, but without making a scene I have to keep my epic meltdown that’s crying to get out deep inside of me.

“Isn’t that your very hot professor?”

“Uh, huh.”

“Ah, guess Mr. Dreamboat is taken.”

“I guess so.” I mutter.

“Are you okay? You look whiter than my bed sheets.”

“I’m fine, nothing caffeine won’t fix.” I smile.

“Well let’s get in there and get you your fix, you sound like a drug addict.” She laughs.

“More like a caffeine addict.”

I watched as she started walking towards the doors, but try as I might, my feet wouldn’t move, they were glued to the pavement and I couldn’t move, I was hoping he didn’t look my way because I wasn’t sure if I’d gone into shock or if I was just an immobile robot, either way, anyone who looked would think I was a statue.

“Are you coming or not?” Not, I wanted to scream.

“It’s pretty crowded, I was thinking—.”

“Come on you love it here, I’m sure we can steal a table.”

“But—.”

“What’s with you today Lex?”

“Nothing.”

“Then come on.” She grabbed hold of my arm half dragging me towards the person that I didn’t want to see me.

It felt like the longest walk of my life, my knees were shaking by the time I made it towards the doors, it felt like my legs were going to buckle beneath me, but I’d almost made it and he hadn’t looked my way once, I was almost home free and I could finally breathe…

“Hey, professor Brookes.” Bailey gleefully called while waving maniacally at him.

Great, Bailey, why not just stick a big red sign on my forehead, announce my arrival to the news station, stick my picture on a billboard, I could have just died right there.

Hunter finally looked up with his winning smile, his eyes finally fell on me, as his eyes roamed across me I instantly shuddered, my body shouldn’t be reacting to him like this, especially when he was sitting across from what I could only describe as a date.

“Professor Brookes.” I nodded curtly.

“Come on Bailey, I need my coffee fix.” I smile at her as I enter the coffee shop and finally, finally I can breathe again.

Luckily there is a free table at the end of the coffee shop, I squeeze in and finally my body slumps against the comforting leather seat, watching Bailey walk to the counter to get our order, I place my hands in my head, shaking my head at the most uncomfortable situation I’d never thought I’d be in.

He hadn’t even called off what we had—whatever it was that we had.

Here he was though, with a date, no guilt or remorse on his face when he spotted me, just that stupid grin that he always wore on his face, looking like the cat that got the cream.

Bailey didn’t take long to come back with our order, the rich coffee beans instantly attacked my senses as the aroma wafted across my senses, I smiled, even though I was crying a river deep inside.

The ping from my phone in my pocket alerted me.

Lexie, I didn’t know you’d be here.

Oh that makes it okay then.

ping

Lexie, please let me explain.

ping

I fling my phone back into my pocket.

ping

“Do you need to get that?” Bailey asks inquisitively.

“No, it’s nothing important.” I smile.

That wasn’t a lie, it was no longer important, what did I think was going to happen sleeping with my professor, that we’d ride off into the sunset together? Maybe not. But a little honesty wouldn’t have gone amiss. Explain? What was there to explain? He’d been caught red handed and once again the only one that had felt foolish was—me.

Once the sourness of the day had left me, I actually enjoyed our time at ‘The Grind’. The pings from my phone didn’t stop and each time the ping would come, Bailey looked at me curiously but said nothing, she knew I didn’t want to talk about it, I didn’t even want to think about it, it was over, what was there to say?

I wanted to stay hidden inside the coffee shop for as long as possible and up to this point I’d slowly drank a drink that should have been sipped ages ago, I knew Bailey was getting impatient and it was only a matter of moments before she would drag me out of here to do our elusive packing for the journey ahead, but it wasn’t the packing or the journey that I was dreading, it was the man on the other side of that door that may still be there with his obnoxious smile and radiating eyes.

“You ready babe? I don’t want to rush you but—.” I knew it! I could sense it was coming, I quickly drained the last dregs of my latte and nodded.

Walking back where I’d desperately wanted to escape from I turned my head hoping to see an empty space—but no such luck! There he was looking at me curiously.

“Ladies.” He smiled.

“Hey professor Brookes.”

“Bailey if I haven’t told you students to call me Hunter a thousand time, Professor Brookes makes me sound old, plus we are not in class.” She giggled, great was there anyone he couldn’t charm, I thought rolling my eyes.

“What brings you two out today, shouldn’t you be getting drunk or whatever it is that students do these days.” Great we were going to play pretend.

“Quick stop, before we hit Sun Springs.” Bailey beamed. If it wasn’t obvious I would have kicked her, why did she have to tell him where we was going? I said nothing, I just stared in disbelief at her foot in mouth disease.

“I see, well have fun.” He smiled.

“Oh we intend to.” I smirked as I walked away and I know it was childish but it gave me some sort of moral respect that I had seemed to have lost since I’d seen him sat there with that grin across his stupidly beautiful face.

Bailey ran behind me trying to catch up, a little out of breath when she finally caught up to me, honestly I just wanted to get as far away from that train wreck as I could, I didn’t even realize I had left her, let alone that she’d had to run after me.

“Whoa, girl, where’s the fire.” 

“What?”

“Why did you run off?” I think I almost died trying to catch up with you.”

“Don’t be dramatic, you didn’t die.”

“I think I said—almost.” I roll my eyes, Bailey always was very theatrical.

“Well?”

“You wanted to leave didn’t you?”

“Well, yeah—.”

“Well, we’re leaving.” I feel her hand grip mine as she pulls me to face her.

“Lex, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” I lie.

“Well why was you rude to Hunter?”

“I wasn’t—I just didn’t want to waste the day talking to a professor who I have to see everyday, plus it’s weird seeing them amongst people.”

“What like they’re aliens.” She giggles.

“Exactly.”

“Has he upset you.” I shake my head.

“Come on, or we’ll miss all the fun.” I smile as she links her arm through mine while we stroll back to the apartment.

I wanted to go back to my room and cry, I’d never cried over anyone but when I saw Hunter on a date I felt the sudden lump in my throat, my stomach dropped and I felt physically sick, but I never got misty eyed over anyone, I’d spent five years with Tom and when I caught him cheating I barely batted an eyelash, of course I was disappointed, but I was never upset, on some level I guess I actually didn’t care, so why was it different with Hunter?

Of course I knew the answer to that too.

I was falling him.

Silly girl, Lexie I think shaking my head.