Come to me

Milo pounded an angry fist on Ute’s door, genuinely not giving a damn if he were disturbing her. He wanted some answers and the more he had stewed the more it became clear she was the one to give them to him. 

“Ik weet dat je daar bent Moeder! Geef antwoord!” I know you’re in there Mother! Answer me! He yelled through the door at her, deciding he had best converse with her fully in Dutch just in case Elle overheard them.

“What do you want?” Ute replied in Dutch, pulling open the door mid bang, glaring at her son. “It’s 5 in the morning!”

“She burnt herself because she jumped into my funeral pyre!” He hissed at her in Dutch, “When were you going to tell me?” 

“Come in,” She sighed, moving out of the way to let him into her room. Milo didn’t budge. 

“When were you going to tell me?” He railed, furious.

“Obviously never,” She sighed, running a tired hand over her face, “You didn’t need to know…”

“I didn’t need to know?? I DIDN’T NEED TO KNOW?!” He raged, full on yelling now. “MY WIFE KILLED HERSELF IN MY FUNERAL PYRE AND I DIDN’T NEED TO KNOW!?” He slammed his hand against the frame of the door, vibrating enraged.”She’s dreaming about it! And you knew what she was dreaming!”

“Yes, I knew.” She retorted, “I was there when she did it.” 

“Oh I fucking know you were there!” He told her furiously, “Why didn’t you stop her?! Why did you let her?! Why didn’t you tell me about this before?” 

“Do you really think anyone could have talked Simrin down? Do you think she would have chosen to live without Aiden?” She asked him calmly, “You know there was no stopping her, you know as her son I had no ability to convince her…”

“Did you even try?!” He cut her off.  Ute glared at him.

“Yes, I tried to stop my mother from killing herself mere hours after my father and brother had died, thank you very much.” She told him, enunciating every word for him, “I’m done with this conversation Milo, come talk to me when you actually want to have a conversation with me.”  She reached her hand to close the door, but Milo shoved his shoulder into the jam.

“If you close this door on me woman, I swear to god, I will burn this house down!” He warned, shaking with rage. “You will talk to me!” 

“You realize you are getting angry about something that happened literally hundreds of years ago, when we were different people?” She reminded him, looking at her son like he was demented.

“She remembers it!” He told her, “She remembers it and she thinks that I want her to love me like that again! And because you never bothered to tell me this happened, I’ve no way to show her how little I would have wanted that then or ever!” 

“Milo, be reasonable,” She said looking truly exhausted, “How could I have prevented this situation from arising? I had no way to know she would remember this, I barely remember it!” 

“She looked at me…like I asked her to kill herself for me.” He growled his face stark. “As if I would ever want her to hurt herself for me!” 

“What do you want me to do son?” Ute asked him, “Tell you I’m sorry? I am sorry that I didn’t think you needed this information as a child, I am sorry that I didn’t foresee that your mate would remember this, and I’m sorry that…”

“Why didn’t you tell me why she would be dreaming about burning? I told you she had dreamed of it!” He cut her off, unwilling to concede that she might have a point and that he was being a little ridiculous. 

“You did tell me, and it didn’t click for me. I don’t have memories like you do!” She insisted, “It came to me later, was I supposed to find you and announce it to you, in front of her?”

“You didn’t realize what she was dreaming?” He asked, pinning her with narrowed eyes, “When you said the kitchen smelled of burning, you didn’t realize why then?” He asked her carefully.

“No! For fuck sakes no I didn’t know!” She retorted sharply, looking away for a split second, so quickly that Milo missed it. 

“Why…why would she…how could she…” He said finally looking at his mother agonized. “The pain,”

“She loved Aiden,” Ute said simply, shrugging her shoulders, though she too looked bewildered by it.

“I don’t want…her to ever…” He let his sentence trail. 

“You can not change what has happened, but surely in this lifetime there is absolutely no reason for her to put herself into harm’s way for you, you have created a life that will be exceedingly peaceful for her.” She told him reassuringly, again not quite meeting his eyes. 

“What about Hadeon,” He sighed. Ute glanced away at the mention of his name, but Milo was too preoccupied to notice.

“That…will likely clear itself up.” She offered, “He just wanted to prevent your meeting, we are well and truly past that, and if he does try to pursue her again you can protect her.” He ran a frustrated hand through his hair, lost in his own tormented thoughts.

“I can make some phone calls, hire a team,” he conceded. “Murder him with my own two hands…”

“I don’t think that’s necessary,” Ute said quickly, dismissively. “I really believe he will leave her alone now that you have her.” 

“Still, I should find him all the same,” He said absently, already planning how to handle this situation. “I could…disappear him.” Would he go that far? He knew it wouldn’t be difficult with the kind of wealth he had to have him hunted down even with the vague descriptions he had of him, and eliminated. But..could he do that? Could he live with himself? For her, absolutely I can. I fucking long to end that fucker with my own two hands…put his hands on MY WOMAN! Terrorized her, destroyed her things, threatened to rape her?! I’ll have them torture him first…He thought darkly.

“Let me handle this,” She said hastily, Milo looked up at her confused by her offer. “Certainly with my…gift I’d be more effective in locating him, no? I’ll make the calls, I will take care of him for you both.” She added readily.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” He asked, an uneasy feeling settling over him. His mother glowered at him with a determined harsh expression.

“Leave this to me,” She said coldly. “You have enough on your plate with making this work with her, the last thing you need is to have to confess to her you have killed someone for her.”  He winced at that, given the direction things had been going between the two of them, his mother did have a point. He could just hear her hyperventilating and running screaming from him if that particular nugget came out. 

“This is true,” He said finally. “You will handle this? Find him at least?”

“Yes I will find him, and do what is necessary for you both.” She said, “Now will you please fuck off so I can go back to sleep?” 

****

The girl is being much too quiet, he thinks. Not that he minds the peace after her days of fucking moping and crying. He murdered one insolent brat and she can’t stop her mewling?! How irritating. How on earth could she justify caring so much for that little piece of trash kitchen boy, when she couldn’t stop flinching from HIM?! He is her master, her owner, the one she should love the best! Ugh the idea of her caring so much for someone other than him fills him with such rage…he swallows it down. He doesn’t know what it is about her, but he can NOT think straight around the little chit. She’d been in his possession for a year now, her English was markedly better, but it is her features that fascinate him the most. It seems every time he sees her, she becomes even more lovely to look upon. 

When first her father had proposed her in repayment of his debt he’d been annoyed. A worthless girl child in place of his strong capable sons? What kind of a trade was that? But then he’d seen her, never had there been a more beautiful child than her. Her raven dark locks, framing a face still soft with babyhood, her whiskey colored eyes, all promised a woman one day whose beauty would be as rare and unique as it was exotic. She would surpass her mother, whose beauty was so awe inspiring her husband had made her veil her face. Though for the right price he’d let Richard have her for the night…

She was so lovely, he could only imagine how lovely her daughter would be…Not that he would ever have her that way. Not with so much at stake, her mother had told him the very night he’d taken her what she is really worth. She is magic, special, she is to be the key to his success, but only if he keeps her pure. He’d scoffed then at how easy of a task it would be, but with each passing day his obsession with the girl grows. He found it harder and harder to stay away from her, sometimes he’d watch her sleep, and think how he’d like to…But he is strong, he is disciplined, he’d take a thousand whores to his bed if that’s what it took. He is so tired of being the forgotten, worthless son of a half disgraced earl. If not sleeping with one slave girl is the key to changing his fate, then by Christ he can do that. 

Still if he can’t have her, there is no reason that anyone else can, in any capacity. If he can’t have her physically, then he would have her in every other way there was. He would be everything to her, even if that meant taking everything else away from her. He strides toward her tower, she is being much too quiet after all…He hears her soft cooing, followed by the tiny cry of a kitten. He freezes, hand almost to the door. 

“Shh,” She soothes, “You must be quiet, little one, my sweet baby.” The thing meows back happily, and she laughs…she fucking laughs! How dare she! Her joy is his and his alone! He kicks open the doors and rounds on her, she stares up at him, her delicate little hands cradling the tiny kitten. Panic and horror mar her face. “No…no please…” She whimpers as she tries to shield the animal from his view. All it serves to do is make him angrier, he pries her hands off the now hissing animal, grabbing it from her, she weakly tries to protect it from him. He shoves her away from him, grasping the animal in both hands, as it tries to claw him. 

“Why must you insist on learning the same lesson over and over again?” He demands, wrapping his hand around the kitten’s head, it mewls pathetically as he tightens his grip, pressing its still soft skull. “Why do you insist on having things before me?!” He roars, the kitten cries, and she sobs, looking up at him with such fear.

“Please…please…don’t…don’t hurt it…I won’t…just…put it outside…please…don’t…” She pleads, clasping her delicate hands in front of her face, begging him with her whiskey eyes for mercy. Mercy for this fetid, half starved, runt of a cat! Rage erupts in him, as he looks at her, how dare she love something enough to beg for its life?! He clenches his fist around its skull crushing it in his hand. The thing makes a pathetic sound before blood gushes out of its damaged head all over his hands, one last heaving breath and it’s gone. She screams her anguish, and he flings the remains at the wall. She gets up onto hands and knees and rushes to the lifeless still twitching corpse of her sin. She falls to her knees before it, grasping it in her hands, weeping and crying as she cradles it, until it stops moving. Infuriated that even in death she seeks to comfort the animal, he clenches both fists, and bellows his indignation. He marches toward her and grabs a handful of her dark hair, yanking her back, he pulls the corpse out of her hands and drops it to the floor, stomping it, as she tries to retrieve it from him. He back hands her away from him, continuing to crush it into the ground, until all that’s left is fur and viscera. 

Then sweaty and heaving in breaths he rounds on her, he yanks her up from the ground by her hair, and rubs his blood soaked hand on her face. He is half deranged with jealous rage, wanting nothing more than to make her comply, to understand, to realize her place in his world. Dropping his face to hers, staring into her terrified, startled whiskey eyes, he grits his teeth.

“You will love me and only me, I am the one you will love the most, I am the one you will love the best, you will hold no one and nothing above me!” He screams into her face. She cringes from him, but he holds her still, forcing her to look at him, forcing her to understand who and what he is to her. He allows her to live, he allows her to exist, this is his world, and she is his to do with as he fucking pleases…

****

And he would do exactly what he fucking pleased with her…

****

Ute woke up, and dry heaved, grasping her head in her hands trying to make the images go away…this is not good…

****

It took Elle several hours to muster the energy to go downstairs, by then everyone was awake and apparently in the kitchen, or so it sounded. Elle sighed, trying to make a decision. 

“Save yourself, lass do no’ go in there,” Daire called to her from the living room. Elle looked over at him sharply, he had perched himself in the far corner of the living room, and was furtively eating what appeared to be a stale muffin.

“What’s happening now?” She sighed, taking a seat beside him, grabbing the muffin from his hands and taking a bite, he shot her a glare but didn’t say anything. As he shouldn’t! I did him a favor. This is disgusting! 

“Who even fucking kens,” He sighed, taking the muffin back from her, smirking at her disgusted face, he took a bite of the muffin, looked like he wanted to retched but choked it back. “Still better than being in there,” He muttered, nodding his head toward the kitchen.

“Why?” She asked, stealing a drink from his coffee mug to get rid of the taste lingering in her mouth, already debating going back upstairs.

“Milo has a bee up his arse,” He told her, “Do no’ ask me what about, have no’ the faintest, they’ve been blathering on in dutch, grabbed this,” He hefted the muffin, “Crime against muffins and baked goods, and made a run for it,”  Elle glanced toward the kitchen, now curious. What in the world…

“Did you happen to grab me one of those, brathair?” Maeve asked, as she plopped down on the other side of Daire.

“No, but you can have this fucking monstrosity,” He told him, shoving the muffin into Maeve’s hands. Maeve arched an eyebrow at her brother, and then at Elle before shrugging and taking a bite herself, and for a moment Elle swore she saw all 5 stages of grief cross the woman’s face, landing decidedly on regret. 

“That is…” She began choking her bite down, “Still better than being in there,” She finished.

“Seriously? How bad could the kitchen…” Elle began incredulously.

“Bad,” Both twins retorted at the same time. As if on cue she heard something breaking on the floor, and irate furious yelling accompanying it, from both Max and Milo and possibly Ute?

“Best make ourselves scarce,” Maeve told them.

“Do no’ have to tell me twice,” Daire agreed, “Coming?” He asked Elle. Elle glanced between the siblings and the increasingly violent yelling in the kitchen, which seemed to be moving toward the door, and therefore to them.

“Yeah, let’s go!” She agreed standing up, leading the way to the front door, Daire and Maeve hot on her heels. 

****

Daire drove them to the diner he had taken Elle to on their ill fated date, in Maeve’s rented SUV. Once settled, with their cups of coffee and orders placed. Elle turned to Maeve, skewering her with an intense expression.

“What was that about?” She asked the older woman, please let it not be me!

“Och Lass, “ Maeve sighed, pushing her hair out of her face,  “Family drama.” 

“The wee lasses?” Daire asked. Maeve nodded, and he winced. 

“Who?” Elle asked, now really curious.

“The little sisters, Nadia and Naomi,” Daire explained, “What’s happened now?”

“Same thing as usual,” Maeve told him, looking sad. 

“Och that wankstain of a father of theirs,” He growled.  “What’s that fuckbumper want now?” 

“Wait…I thought Milo and Max’s dad died?” Elle asked, truly confused.

“Oh aye he did,” Maeve told her, “Too bad the girl’s da did not follow suit, fucker.” 

“Why…what?” Elle asked, tilting her head, absolutely invested in the gossip now.

“Ute and he never married, and he shows up from time to time asking for his ‘rights’, always seems to disappear when those ‘rights’ turn up with responsibilities, like actually seeing his daughters,” Maeve snarled furiously. 

“The lasses, never do well after he makes an appearance,” Daire added, looking both angry and sad, “That absolute prick gets their hopes up and then fucks off.”

“Ute never learns,” Maeve raged, and then immediately reddened. “I...I should no’ say that…”

“Aye you should, and you should say it to her, she has a blind spot when it comes to that absolute weapon’s grade tosser.”  Daire said through clenched teeth.

“Then you’ll think it pure dead brilliant that Milo told her he would seal Naomi’s trust fund indefinitely if Ute tried to give him visitation again,” Maeve told him, eyes flashing.

“Can he do that?” Daire asked, sounding vaguely impressed.

“Oh aye, he created the funds.” Maeve explained furiously. “I do no’ agree with forcing the girls to see their useless da, but to threaten to cut them off? Why punish them for Ute’s…”

“Because that’s the only language Ute understands, piuthar.” Sister Daire cut her off, his tone sharp. “He’s right to do it, Ute fucks with their feelings everytime she lets him in and out of their lives, it’s no’ right.” 

“Well Max disagrees,” Maeve said finally, blowing out an angry breath, “And so now, none of us will have any peace.”

“So…Milo wants to cut the girls off to stop them from seeing their dad?” Elle asked, confused, and frankly agreeing with Max. 

“That’s how Max sees it,” Maeve told her, “But to be fair to Milo, he’s the one who put the majority of the money in the funds, by all accounts he should have final say what happens to it.”

“But why punish the girls?” Elle asked, getting heated. Though she did find it interesting that Milo had created and evidently funded trust funds for his little sisters. 

“He’s no’ trying to punish the girls, lass, he’s trying to deter Ute.” Daire explained, “And he is right, believe me. I’ve met that waste of skin, he does no’ more deserve the title of their da’ than I do, he’s done no’ a thing for them.” 

“That is true,” Maeve agreed, “And the way he treated the lads growing up!” 

“How did he treat them?” Elle asked, feeling a strange sense of anger at the idea of Milo being treated badly.

“Like they were a fucking burden,” Daire hissed, “Wanted nothing to do with the lot of them, drove James to boarding school, tried the same or worse on the younger three, took a swing at Julian once, the fucker!” Elle made a sound of surprise, horrified at the idea of someone taking a swing at their stepson.

“Julian laid him out,” Daire assured Elle, “The daft mangled fud, thought it was a sure thing, fighting a teenager,”

“He was lucky he did nae try it with James, would have nae been able to bury the sodding arsehole, would nae found all his parts.” Maeve growled.

“Imagine trying to fight a 16 year old?” Daire hissed. Elle felt her blood rising, disgusted and angry. Christ! He was 16?! Jesus, and Ute wants to bring this man around her other children? 

“He was trying to fight Max, Julian just laid him out before he could.” Maeve told them both, looking frankly murderous.

“Oh the fuck! He could no’ have been older than 14!” Daire growled. Milo would have also been 14, no wonder he thinks he’s broken. Elle thought sharply.

“It’s no wonder Juilian and Milo moved out so young, that house was a nightmare, with that piece of shit coming and going as he pleased.” Maeve added, “Max only stayed for the girls,” 

“Milo said he was living on his own at 17, how old was Julian?” Elle asked her aching for all of them.

“He was 18,” Maeve told her, “But lass, Milo was 16 years old when he left home.” Elle was stunned by that information.

“What?” She gasped surprised.

“Aye, lived with James for a year while he finished secondary school, and then was on his own.” Maeve continued. “Finished 2 years worth of schooling in 6 months, he was so committed to being done with it.” The twins continued conversing but Elle was no longer paying attention. She was shocked at this information, horrified, and…she hurt for Milo. How bad would things have to be for someone to somehow manage to cramp 2 years worth of education into 6 months? And he had to have done well, he went to law school after all.All at once Elle remembered Milo telling her he had panic attacks, and her chest felt tight as she understood what he had been trying to tell her…that he felt desperately alone, because he had been, alone. 

Maybe…maybe something is wrong with me Elle, have you considered that? maybe…maybe I am broken.

She felt like her heart was breaking…you aren’t broken…you’re…you’re mine.

****

Milo was sitting in the library, alone. On the bench where he and Elle had…He had come here to be alone, but also…also to be with her in a way. The scent of her still lingered on the bench, and his hands occasionally found their way to caress a cushion or pillow, as he vividly remembered her laid out before him. He absently picked up one, and held it to his chest, inhaling her scent lingering, pressing it firm to him…

He heard the door open and dropped the pillow immediately, standing to look. His heart pounded when he saw her framed in the doorway, holding two cups in her elegant little hands. Trying to keep his pace casual, he walked toward her, unsure of what to expect. But when he came into her view, her face softened and she gave him such a warm smile that he couldn’t help but smile back at her.

“Hi,” she said softly.

“Hi,” He repeated, helplessly. 

“Matcha?” She offered, indicating the cups. He took the cups gently out of her hands, and got into step with her as they walked toward the bench. 

Once they had both sat down, Elle moved surreptitiously closer to him, taking one of the cups from him. He felt himself exhale deeply with want, as her hand slipped against his as she took the cup, folding both of her hands around it. As she blew lightly on the tea, and raised it to her lips he watched her, taking in every movement, watching the way the light from the skylight hit her skin, illuminating her so that it seemed for a moment she glowed. Her bright eyes seemed to hold all the depths of the world, as she stared out into the distance, contemplating. A lock of her hair sat perfectly against her high cheekbone, shiny and softly curling. He wanted very much to grasp that lock with his fingers and feel its silkiness, to run his fingers against the soft velvety skin of her face, to brush his lips there. 

Elle could feel his eyes on her, stealing a quick sideways glance at him, her heart stopped in her chest, and she quickly looked away. He wasn’t giving her a heated lustful look as she had expected, no he was looking at her, regarding her like she was infinitely special, delicate, lovely, as if she were something so precious, something he missed dearly, that he…adored. Elle choked on her breath, but managed to hold her composure, no one had ever looked at her the way he was looking at her now. And if she were being honest she would admit that underneath her initial reaction of panic laced fear she felt…warmed, and cared for. That she wanted to turn to him now, and take his beautiful beyond compare face in her hands and kiss him with all the tenderness she felt for him in this moment. To adore him, with her lips, and hands, the way he was adoring her with his eyes. But for all that, she was still terrified, painfully, uncomfortably certain that she could not give him what he wanted, that she could not, simply could not love him the way he wanted her to, that she was in fact incapable of being what he wanted. Sighing, she turned to him.

“I…” She began the words dying in her mouth as his eyes locked onto hers, his brows furrowed as he watched her face. This time Elle saw his exhaustion, the sadness in his eyes, the worry, the strain, all the things that were unsaid and unspoken. “Are…you okay?” He blinked as if taken back, looking away from her, a muscle in his jaw working.

“No,” He managed finally, pinching his forehead between his thumb and forefinger. 

“Tell me,” She encouraged, placing the palm of her hand against his cheek, he jumped in surprise at her touch, looking up at her. He felt the breath leave him at the way she was looking at him, the concern in her eyes.

“I…am not used to this…” he began awkwardly, finding that he wanted to talk to her, wanted to tell her what he was thinking, but that he didn’t really know how to go about it.

“Yes, I can see that,” She agreed, “But you are so good at everything you do, I’m sure you will be able to figure this one out,” She teased. He smiled at that.

“I’ve had…news.” He began, she nodded encouragingly, he sighed continuing. “My sisters’ father has attempted to reach out to my little sister again, she called me,upset. She does not wish to speak with him, but feels…obligated to.” 

“Why?” She inquired.

“He guilts her, he guilts both of them. But Nadia…is indifferent to anyone's feelings but her own, Naomi is sensitive…too sensitive.” He told her, pushing a hand through his hair, Elle got the sense that he was trying to verbalize something he had not yet put into words even for himself. “He does this every so often, at least once a year. But he is getting desperate, she will be an adult soon, and if he does not manage to create a relationship with her then…then how would he ever manage to get access to her trust fund.” 

“You think he wants her money?” She asked, feeling gross at the thought.

“He does want her money,” He told her firmly, turning to lock eyes with her, “Of that I am certain.”

“How are you so sure?” She probed.

“I gave him 50,000 Euro before Nadia’s 17th birthday to leave them both alone,” He told Elle, his voice stark, “And he didn’t so much as try to message them for almost a full year. Not so much as a birthday text, after relentlessly pestering them both for months.” 

“You gave him…” She whispered.

“I know it was unethical, and I should not have intervened with my sisters’ father trying to speak with them, but…” He explained, clearly wanting her to understand. She pressed her shaking fingertip to his lips,stopping his words.

“You protected your sisters,” She amended, “You stopped someone who should love them from taking advantage of them.” He caught her hand and moved the palm of it to his lips kissing it lightly. Elle moved her hand back gently, blushing. 

“Max does not agree, and feels that I have overstepped, repeatedly. As he so kindly reminded me today, I am not their father, he says I’ve made a bad situation infinitely worse,” He told her, “I love my sisters, I love Naomi, I have always loved them both, but Naomi, Naem is my…favorite person in this world. She is so smart, sweet and funny, so funny, she cares about things with her whole heart, and he…he takes advantage of that, he makes her feel like she has somehow failed…It makes me crazy.” He blew out a frustrated, angry breath, “I hate him, I HATE him.”  He growled, his tone deep with resentment and rage. He went silent for a long time, staring out over her head as if he were seeing something that was not there, reliving something.  Seeking only to comfort him, Elle framed his face in her hands, and gently tugged his face toward her. 

“Talk to me,” She whispered. His eyes focused on her, his brows drawing together as he nodded.

“I was 10 when Naem was born, just this tiny little baby, the best birthday present,” He told her, a soft smile playing on his lips.

“Three of you share the same birthday?” She asked, surprised. 

“No, just Naem and I share the same birthday, Max was born on the 22nd of August, at 1145pm, I was born 30 mins later on the 23rd.” He explained. “Naem is the best little sister anyone could ask for, I…adore her. When she was born her father didn’t want anything to do with her, he didn’t even want to hold her. He never did a thing for my sisters, never took care of them, never so much as enquired if they were okay, sent money, gifts, anything.  But my mother…she thought she loved him, and couldn’t let him go. She has allowed him to come and go from their lives as he wishes. Nadia has thick skin, she has always done whatever she has wanted, but…Naem…she is not like that. When he would leave, Naem would come and cry on my shoulder,” He clenched and unclenched his fist, his jaw muscles ticking with his anger. “She would…ask me.” He stopped, swallowing, his body shaking from rage, as he inhaled for calm. “Ask me…what she had done wrong, why he hated her! I could not bear it…I still can not bear it.” Elle nodded her head, saying nothing, allowing him to finish, she feared that if she commented he might stop talking all together.

 “My father’s family came from money, a significant amount of money, we were taken care of financially before we were even born, my brothers and I. I was given access to a trust fund at 21, same as my brothers. But my sisters are not part of the Van Ee family, there was nothing set up for them, if something were to have happened to my mother, even the money my father left her would not go to them, and their…father…” He let his sentence trail. “So I set up the trust funds for them once I came into possession of my own, I was already making great money in corporate law, I had no need of it, so I divided my fund into two, and created theirs,” He shrugged as if it were nothing, Elle bit her tongue, wanting desperately in the moment to tell him how incredible of a gesture it was, how much she admired him, how much it warmed her to see his care for his family. 

“Over the years my brothers’ have also contributed to their funds, so that once they turn 21 they will also have a cushion, support, and financial stability like we did. That money is for them, for their future, I’ll be fucking damned before I let them be swindled out of it!” He told her vehemently, “I…I threatened to seal the funds indefinitely, if my mother grants him visitation.” He looked everywhere but at her, his face flushed with feeling, and Elle realized he was afraid that she would think poorly of him, of his decision, that she might think less of him. Elle’s heart caught in her throat, she felt like she’d been sucker punched. 

“Milo…” She called, he turned slowly to look at her, an agonized expression on his face.  

“Max told me I am an asshole, that the only people who will suffer for this are the girls, that trying to force my mother to make a decision about her own child is…” He muttered.

“Max is wrong,” Elle told him firmly, “He is wrong, your mother is wrong. You are doing what is necessary to protect them both, but Naomi especially. If she is easily manipulated by their sperm donor, then why would you give her access to the very thing he wants? That’s like letting her be bait.” 

“This was my thought, yes,” He conceded, “But Max makes a compelling point, that I can not treat them like little girls forever…”

“No, not forever, and probably not even when they are 21, but the threat, that’s a powerful deterrent, and besides, just because they don’t have access to the trust fund does not mean that they will be left destitute, surely you can access it on their behalf and take care of whatever they need no?” She said simply shrugging, “You might even consider just giving them access at 25, honestly aren’t we all idiots at 21?”

“I had considered that,” He agreed, “It was actually what was advised to me, but I know how much my sisters hate having to come to me for permission to pay for the things they want, I want to give them control of their own lives.”

“Wait…Milo do…are you currently supporting them?” She asked, staring at him awestruck. 

“Yes,” He said simply looking at her as if it were obvious.

“Are you supporting them from their trust fund?” She asked, though she suspected she knew the answer.

“No, those funds are for their use alone.” He retorted, “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“I need to understand this…you created these trust funds for them, to take care of them as adults, and in the meantime…you’ve been taking care of them both, alone? Where…does your mother fit into this?” She asked, mouth agape.

“My mother does not have the same source of income as I do,” He explained.

“How long have you been doing this?” She asked.

“I don’t know since they were maybe 12 and 11?” He replied. 

“Alone?” She asked again.

“I’m the one with no other responsibilities, I make the most money, it just made sense,” He said looking confused at her reaction. “It makes no impact on my finances, I live very well.”

“That’s..not the point.” She said, “You just did that? At 21, you just took over financial responsibility for your sisters, no questions asked, just took care of them. And you think you’re the asshole?!” She asked incredulously. 

“It..was my duty to take care of them.” He said, looking at Elle as if what he were saying were obvious instead of extraordinary. How…how can this man possibly think he’s broken!? How does MY man think he’s broken!?

****

Milo couldn’t pinpoint exactly what had happened but he definitely could feel there had been a shift in their relationship. When they sat down for dinner, Elle had sat beside him, and before he could reach for her hand, she had already taken his. He had caught her watching him throughout the day, when she had thought he wasn’t paying attention. Her expression had been awestruck as if she couldn’t quite figure out how to feel about him, soft and warm, like she adored him, but it wouldn’t hold for long, turning into fear or panic quickly. She would glance away and become lost in her own thoughts so fast, that it would chill him, and frankly…it hurt. It hurt to see her look away from him with fear, it hurt to see her face become panic stricken, as if she could not breathe for a moment. Like she glimpsed something about him that made her want to scramble away from him, as she had earlier, on hands and knees to get away.  Not that he blamed her, he even understood where it was coming from, things were progressing very quickly between them, and it seemed she was having these dream/memories without context. Though what context would make her jumping into a funeral pyre seem like a good decision was beyond him. The fact was that knowing why she felt the way she did, did not make it hurt less.She might find him attractive, even potentially like him as a person, but…she did not trust him, was in fact unwilling to allow him to earn her trust if he were being honest with himself, and that hurt worst of all.

 Even so, in this moment Milo refused to dwell on it, and instead chose to let himself enjoy her presence, the way she made him feel. The fact that she had taken his right hand, with her left, linked their fingers, and was now quietly eating with one hand, awkwardly cutting away with the side of her fork, rather than letting his hand go. That even though the tension was palpable at the table, and that no one was speaking with each other, she still managed to smile at him, and roll her eyes at Max's cranky mutterings, as if they were in on some sort of private joke no one else was privy to. That despite the events of this spectacularly awful day, he felt optimistic, and even though both his mother and brother were furious with him, he didn’t feel isolated, he felt for the first time in a long time, honestly ever, actually, that he had a teammate, he had someone on his side. Someone who had his back, someone who was in fact rooting for him. So no, Milo was not going to dwell on the lacking parts of their supremely complicated relationship, not even on the reality that he wasn’t sure he could even call what they had a relationship. No, he was going to do something he had not done ever before, he was just going to live in this moment for as long as he could.  

He nudged her arm with his, and when she looked up at him, he brought her hand to his lips and pressed a kiss to her knuckles. At the contact she blushed prettily, he held her eyes and her hand captive for a moment longer, taking her radiant face in. For a moment he felt as if they were the only two people at the table, the only two people in the world, and his heart pounded in his chest at the thought. He wanted to pull her from her seat, and into his lap. To wrap her in his arms, and press his lips to hers. He exhaled a heated breath, as he watched her eyes grow heavy lidded, her own expression turning hot. Are you thinking the same wicked thoughts I am?

“Really?!” Max hissed from across the table, “Really? This is what you're doing right now, Milo?” Milo looked up at him confused, and annoyed with his tone. 

“What?” Milo replied, glaring at his brother.

“In this moment when you refuse to even discuss our sisters you’re going to sit there and flirt with her?” He growled, “Jesus aren’t you two tired, all you do is fuck!” Elle dropped his hand immediately, Milo glanced at her and watched her blanche in horror, and…embarrassment. Fury filled him so fast and hot, he was out of his chair before he even consciously realized it.

“Get out! Get the fuck out!” He roared, everyone stared at him mouth agape, except Max who also had jumped up from his seat and was vibrating with rage.

“Make me, you fucking prick!” Max yelled back, Milo made to move to him but Daire got between the twins fast, pushing Max back. 

“Shut yer gob ya’ shite stain!” He hissed at his brother in law. “What in God’s name is the matter with you?”

“You’re defending Milo!?”Max screamed into his face, “You?! When two days ago you were bitching and moaning about having feelings for Elle, and him stealing her from you?” 

“This isn’t about him!” Daire replied, his face flushed with embarrassment, “Look at her! Fucking look at her!” He growled. Max looked at Elle and saw her face white as a ghost, mortified and humiliated, he let out a harsh breath, 

“Fuck…” He mumbled.

“Move out of my way Daire “ Milo said softly, his voice deadly calm, his face a study in cold fury, his fists clenched. “Jij waardeloze zoon van een teef, ik waarschuwde je om niet zo met haar te praten, kom wat halen! Krijg de kanker!” You worthless son of a bitch, I warned you not to talk to her like that, come get some! Get cancer! He told his twin, his tone devolving into full on rage as he spoke. At this, Ute and Maeve both gasped. Max lunged forward, almost barreling Daire over, who just barely managed to hold him back.

“Stop it,” Elle cried out, her hands shaking as she stood up,”This is…enough!” She hissed. Everyone looked at her, Milo made a step toward her, half expecting her to stop him or push him back but she didn’t. Her eyes blazing, she reached her hand forward to him taking his hand in hers, she entwined her fingers with his, locking eyes with him, her jaw set, she turned her focus to Max, enraged.

 “Fuck you, fuck your bullshit, and fuck your slut shaming nonsense!” She yelled at him, “And you’re correct all we do is fuck, your brother has endless fucking stamina,” Milo arched both eyebrows in absolute shock at her words. “If you have an issue with your brother I suggest you deal with it like a grown man, and use your big boy words, in private!” 

“Do you know what your boyfriend just said to my husband?” Maeve asked, furiously glaring at Elle. 

“I’m sorry Maeve, but honestly I could give a fuck what my boyfriend said to your stupid husband,” She told the other woman, “This is between them, and your husband decided to make it about my sex life, so you can all eat a bag of giant dicks!” Milo looked at Elle barely containing his desire to grin like an idiot, mouthing ‘boyfriend?’ Elle shrugged.

“Is that before or after I get cancer?” Max threw at her furiously, Elle turned to look at Milo arching an eyebrow, mouthing ‘cancer?’. He shrugged.

“Before, after and during, kankerhoer,” He told his twin sweetly.  Max pushed at Daire again furiously.

“For the love of all that is Holy,” Daire hissed at everyone, “Can you stop?! Fuck me, you lot are the most dramatic, mental, draining fucking family!” 

“I’m over this entire situation,” Elle announced, “Fuck all of you, except Daire, we are leaving, and you can all clean the fuck up after yourselves for once!” With that she turned, still holding Milo’s hand and left the dining room. Taking furious and fast strides toward their…Milo’s bedroom.

Once they were up the stairs, on the top landing, Milo pulled Elle to a stop. She turned to look at him, opening her mouth to say something. The words never made it out because Milo grasped her by the back of her head and pulled her up toward him as he slammed his mouth to hers, so hard that their teeth knocked before they found each other's lips, in a tense, searing hot kiss. 

****

His tongue twined with hers, drawing hers deep. He backed her against the nearest wall, his free arm wrapping around her waist to pull her body close to his, as he drove his hips into her. He molded his body to hers, so that she could feel every hot inch of him pressed against her, his chest rubbed against hers, abrading her peaked nipples, sending shivers of hot desire through her body, as she felt his impossibly large erection against her belly. He groaned when her nails dug into his back, as she ground her body into his, wanting more, needing more of him.

As if in response, he grasped her waist in both hands, and lifted her straight up, Elle wrapped both her arms around his neck holding on for dear life, as he nudged her legs apart with his hip, forcing her back against the wall, balancing her with his body, as he grasped one of her legs and wrapped it around his waist. His erection pressing between her legs. She broke the kiss moaning as he flexed his hips, sliding his stiff shaft against her most sensitive parts. He slanted his mouth over hers again, taking hers in a deeper, slower, soul searing kiss, as he moved his hips in time with his tongue in her mouth. Elle drew both her legs around him, locking them at the ankle, undulating her hips matching his driving rhythm. He threw his head back at her movements,panting. 

“Ik wil je uitkleden, met mijn tanden! Ik wil je zo graag dat ik niet recht kan denken!” I want to undress you, with my teeth! I want you so badly I can't think straight! He growled under his breath. Sliding his hand under her shirt, cupping one of her breasts over her lacy bra, he sucked in a breath as he felt how hard her little nipple was pressed into his palm. The arm around her waist trembled. 

“Bed…bedroom,” She gasped out, pressing her open mouth against his neck. “Now!” 

“Bedroom!” He agreed, removing his hand, wrapping both arms around her. He carried her to the door of the bedroom, he kicked the door shut behind them as she rained kisses against his jaw and neck, nipping his shoulder through his shirt. He growled at that, “Do it again,” He commanded, “Bite me fucking harder!” She helplessly complied, he muttered incoherently, saying words in both Dutch and english. He deposited her on the sideboard by the sitting area, never releasing her, it was just tall enough to keep her hips level to his while he was standing. He framed her face in his trembling hands, his eyes blazing with desire. “Want to learn some Dutch, schatje?”

“Am I going to?” She teased.

“So much dutch, you will never, ever be able to repeat in public,” He told her. “Ik wil dat je me uitkleedt, say that to me,”  He repeated it slowly, kissing her in between every word, until she could repeat it back to him.

“Ik..wil dat je…me uitkleedt…” She gasped out finally, “What did I just say to you?” 

“You asked me to undress you,” He replied, locking eyes with her, “do you want me to?”

“How do I say, “Yes, now please!’ In Dutch?” She asked, laughing. 

“Trust me, it’s much sexier in English than in Dutch,” He told her. “Tell me what to take off you first,” He instructed, a sexy teasing smile on his face. He trailed his fingers against the hem of her shirt, and over the edge of her pants, grazing her exposed skin between. Each touch inflamed her, until she felt crazed.

“You take your shirt off first,” She told him, tugging on the fabric. “Get naked for me first, and then you can undress me,” 

“One of us has to keep our pants on,” He told her, breathing hard, “We have…established that.”

“Have we? Stupid fucking rule,” She sighed, “Can’t we just agree…not to go all the way?”

“Have you seen yourself naked?” He asked her incredulously, cupping her breasts in his hands through her shirt, she groaned at the touch, the laugh dying in her throat. “I am being serious, if we are both naked, I…will be inside you,” She shuttered at his words, her core clenching.

“Why…why is that a bad idea, again?” She asked, her eyes heavy lidded. 

“When you look at me like that, I struggle to remember,” He agreed, “I want you so much,” he groaned, “I think about it day and fucking night, I fear I’ll go out of my mind thinking about your beautiful pussy, and all the godverdomme ways I could make you wet for me, make you scream for me…” He trailed off, his breath ragged, his eyes locked between her legs, before he shook his head and looked back at her, seeing her panting with want. “But…I can’t…we can’t for two reasons, the first is that I have not made the all important stop, and the second…the second is that you do not trust me Elle, and I don’t want to fuck you,” 

“Wha…what? You don’t want to fuck me!?” She hissed, feeling like he had thrown ice water on her, “What the fuck does that mean!?” He caught her face, shutting her up with his mouth, kissing her with built up frustration and desire. Shoving his hips into her, allowing her to feel how hard he’d gotten for her.

“I don’t want to fuck you Elle! I want to make love to you!” He growled, breaking the kiss, his chest heaving. “I told you, no fucking half measures with you, I want it all.”

“I…I don’t know what…you want,” She told him, owl eyed.

“I want intimacy, I want affection, I want trust between us, Elle I desire you, you have to know that at this point. But it’s not enough for me, it’s not enough for me to just have your body, I want it all.” He told her, his brows furrowed, his expression trying to tell her something she could not comprehend.

“You…you want me to fall in love with you before we have sex?” She asked, trying to understand him.

“Honestly?” He asked her, locking eyes with her, “Yes, I want you to love me, the first time I have you, I want to see you look at me with more than desire in your eyes.”

“So…no pressure then,” She whispered, choking, placing her face into her trembling hands, “Just…all of me, you want me to be completely vulnerable to you, that’s…all.” Her tone was bordering on hysteria.

“That’s what I want, yes.” He reiterated, “I want your love.”

“You…you don’t love me,” She whispered back, all of the desire he’d stoked in her was gone, and she was left feeling cold and frankly alarmed.

“No, I don’t,” he agreed, “But it is inevitable, I am going to fall so in love with you, I am going to love you more than you’ve been loved before, I’m going to love you better than you’ve ever been loved before. I’m going to cherish you, and spoil you, and love you with an intensity you have never experienced, and all of that is not in any way reliant on your love.”

“You’re…you're promising me unconditional love? Are you fucking serious? You can’t…you can’t possibly know you could love me like that!” She told him furiously, her body trembling. Don’t you promise me that! Don’t you dare promise me…

“I know I can love you like that, because I have loved you like that before,” he told her calmly, sternly “I know the kind of love I am capable of giving, I know what it feels like to give it, and I know that I want to give it to you, and that in time, I will.”

“And what…what if I can’t love you like that?!” She all but screamed at him, she moved to get off the sideboard, but he caught her firm with his hands upon her shoulders.

“Don’t run from me,” he said softly, calmly, “I understand this is a lot for you to take in, but I’m not in the habit of lying to my soulmate, I don’t want to tell you what you want to hear, and then ease you into what I want, that’s not who I am.  You say you are not capable of loving me like that, I don’t believe that, but even if it's true, that’s okay, I will accept whatever love you can give me, and I’ll just make up the difference on my end. You think it scares me to think I might love you more than you love me!? So be it, love me conditionally, love me with limits, love me only so far, that’s fine, I’ll love you the rest of the way to me.”  

“You can’t know that! You can’t know… you just said you don’t love me!” She lilted, shaken.

“Yet,” he said simply, “I am not in love with you, yet.” 

“So until we’ve managed to fall in love…” She began, her voice trembling as she said the words.

“You asked me what I wanted, this is what I want.” He interrupted, gently caressing her shoulders with his thumbs as he spoke, trying to sooth her. “However, when you and I are together, we become explosive, I want you, and when you look at me and I can see how much you want me too, my brain becomes…scrambled, as I imagine happens to you as well?”

“You are asking, no, demanding my love, but if you were to take your clothes off right now…I would…yes scrambled is an apt word. So what do we do?” She conceded, looking over his head. He framed her face in his hands, and gently brought her gaze back to his face, running the tips of his fingers against her jaw.

“I don’t know,” he told her truthfully, Elle exhaled a furious breath. 

“Great, so you make this arbitrary, genuinely terrifying condition on our attraction to each other, and you don’t have any idea how to make it work? Great, just fucking great.” She shrieked, frustration and pent up lust making her angrier by the second. He simply tilted his head in that maddening way of analyzing her. Elle wanted to throw something at his head.

“Let me ask you this Elle,” He intoned finally, “Why is the prospect of being in love with me terrifying?” 

“It’s not loving you specifically that's terrifying,” She muttered angrily, “ Although you are seriously making yourself painfully unlikable at the moment,” she added, he smiled sweetly at her, clearly not taking offense, he made a gesture with his hand as if to say continue, Elle rolled her eyes at that. “Loving anyone is objectively terrifying.” 

“Why?” He asked, all the humor gone from his face, his eyes narrowed as a thought occurred to him. “Have you…been hurt by someone who said they loved you?”

“Are you for real right now?” She raged at him, as if a dam broke at his words, “You kiss me! You kiss me like you want to fuck me against your god damned wall, you bring me in here, you make me ask you in dutch to undress me, and now we are, WHAT just going to have a leisurely chat about our feelings? Jesus Christ! If you aren’t going to have your way with me, at least…at least…”

“At least what?” He invited, his eyes dancing.

“Fuck, you are going to make me say it aren’t you! Oh you are so god damned aggravating!” She threw at him, grasping her temples. “Fine! At least finish what you started, at least finish kissing me! At least take most of your clothes off, and mine off, and…I guess no sex whatever, but we can…do other stuff.” She finished in an angry huff. Milo looked at her for a minute, caught between amusement and need himself.

“Other stuff,” He crooned, tilting his head to look at her, a slow predatory smile forming against his lips. “I want to do other stuff, to you,” He agreed. 

“Then…then take your fucking shirt off already!” She all but yelled in frustration. 

“Come take it off me,” he challenged, moving closer to her, he snagged her thigh in one of his hands and pulled her forward, catching her against his body, his face inches from hers. “Undress me, Elle. Have your way with me,”

With trembling hands, and shaky breath Elle reached for the hem of his tee-shirt, and began lifting it, inch by inch revealing more and more of his hard muscular stomach. By the time she got the shirt to his pecs, she was soaking her panties with her arousal. All the while his eyes were steady on her face, watching her watch his body, watching her become more and more heated over it. His cock jerked every time her hands brushed his skin, he felt himself becoming more and more charged with every one of her soft exhalations as her breath became ragged. With a growl he grabbed the collar of his t-shirt, and ripped it down the center and off, tearing his shirt from himself. Elle’s eyes had gotten impossibly round, before narrowing in lust on his tan chest, biting her bottom lip. 

“Touch me,” He commanded, his voice raspy and ragged. 

“Take your pants off first,” She demanded, looking up at him, biting her lip. His eyes locked onto the movement. 

“De dingen die ik met dat mondje kon doen…” the things I could do with that little mouth…He growled under his breath, he locked eyes with her, a wild dangerous smile on his face. “If you want them off, come take them off,” He whispered, provocatively. 

“I thought only one of us is allowed to get naked at a time,” She taunted, as she reached forward to the button on his pants, he leaned back to make it easier for her.

“I'm keeping my boxers on, you are keeping nothing but that sassy smile of yours on,” He informed her. The tone of his desire roughened voice sending shivers down her spine.

“And what if I say I want to touch your gorgeous cock, are you not going to let me?” She asked sweetly looking up at him, as she slid the zipper of his pants down, the muscles in his lower belly flexed at her words, and his eyes shut as he shuttered.

“You can touch me…anyway and anywhere you like, schatje, you know full well I am incapable of denying you.” He managed, spearing her with a pained expression on his face. “But…the boxers have to stay on.”

“No,” She intoned simply, challengingly.

“Elle…You are asking me to have superhuman levels of self control,” He began. As she pushed his pants down his hips.

“I am not,” She replied, sliding her hand down his flat stomach, over his rigid muscles, as he sucked in air, stopping short of the line of his boxers. “If you want me, come have me.”  

“Wil je zwanger worden? Want zo word je zwanger!” He shot at her, trembling with frustrated desire. 

“Translation?” She quizzed, smirking at his tortured expression. He palmed the back of her head, and tilted her face up to his.

“Do you want me to make you pregnant? Because this is how you get pregnant!” He translated heavily accented for her through gritted teeth. For some inexplicable reason the idea was…tantalizing instead of terrifying. Not so much the idea of being pregnant, as the idea of him specifically getting her that way…with his hot demanding kisses, and rock hard body…Clearly my ovaries are in the god damned driver seat right now…what the fuck?! 

“Are you offering to be my baby daddy?” She teased, trying to lighten the mood,he glared at her.

“I’m not playing with you,” He growled at her, “My self control is hanging off a precarious cliff, dangling, about to absolutely snap. If you think I have the self control not to cum inside you the second you cum for me…you have not been paying attention.” 

“Might not even be ovulating,” She commented, only half joking.

“Or in 9 months we could have a set of twins, they do run in my family.” He told her seriously. “I personally don’t mind, I’ve always wanted children, specifically with you.” He shrugged, her eyes grew round.

“I know I started this, but I would like to stop now, please.” She told him, feeling a little faint.

“Honestly, this could work out very well for me come to think of it,” He said thoughtfully, “I get you pregnant, you can’t leave me after that, you’d have ruined me, surely you would have to make an honest man out of me, once you’ve stolen my seed…”

“Stolen your…you are quite willing to give it thank you.” She glowered at him, looking straight down at his straining erection, tenting his boxers. She felt her face heating at the sight of him.

“I warned you,” He shrugged nonchalantly, “let me just take these off…” He reached for his boxers and Elle grabbed his hand.

“Okay, okay you’ve made your point, no need to play pregnancy chicken with me,” she agreed hastily, “Boxers stay on.”

“Are you sure? You don’t want to have your own twin baby ken doll set?” He teased, his thumb hitched into the band of his boxers. 

“Yeah I think I’m good,” She said even as she followed the movement of his hand, willing him to undress fully for her. 

“Good, now come here Schatje, playtime is over,” He rasped, placing his big hands at her waist. He eased his hands to the hem of her shirt, and tugged it up, Elle held her arms up helping him strip her, moving her hips when he removed her pants, leaving her only in her semi transparent lacy bra and panties. He exhaled a shaky breath as he beheld her, the demi cups of the bra revealing far more than they covered. He eased her thighs part, with his hands, and found her panties clinging to her cleft. He groaned under his breath, desperate to touch her, everywhere at once.

“Put…put your hands on me, please.” She whispered, shaking with desire.  His eyes flashed up to hers, stealing her breath for the intensity in them, as he cupped her between her legs with his big hand. 

“Dit is van mij,” this is mine he told her fiercely, Elle didn’t understand the words but she knew exactly what he meant, he could not have made it clearer had he spoken the words in English. He dug the heel of his palm into her clit, and her head fell back. He followed her, raining kisses on her exposed neck and collar bone, nipping her there. “Ik ben van jou en jij bent van mij!” I’m yours and you are mine! He growled against her skin. He snaked his hands behind her back and undid her bra, allowing it to fall into her lap. Wrapping one arm around her waist, using the other to grasp her thigh he pulled her into his hard body.  Lightly trailed his hand down her thigh to her ankle, he wrapped the back of her leg against his lower back, he picked her up, and took her to bed. 

He deposited her in the center of the bed, Felix hissed as Milo gently pushed him off the bed, never taking his eyes from her. His chest was heaving as her perfectly formed velvety nipples hardened before his eyes, he ran the tip of his tongue against his lips as he watched. Elle scrambled up onto her elbows tilting her head as she took in his tortured expression, she gently arched her back, and he groaned at the sight, muttering something in Dutch that Elle did not catch. He scrubbed a hand against his mouth as he took her in. Emboldened by his appreciation, Elle trailed her hands up to her breasts and slowly cupped them for him, running her thumbs against her straining nipples, she parted her lips on a wave of pleasure, carefully she ran her other hand down her flat stomach, locking eyes with him, as she slowly moved her fingers toward her panties. The muscles of his lower belly spasmed, and she watched his cock strain against his boxers, as her fingers rovered lower and lower. She tucked her fingers into the band of her panties, but no further. 

“Ask me to touch myself for you,” She whispered, the muscles under her stomach jumping under her hand. He groaned looking at her hand.

“Take your panties off, first.” He demanded, his teeth clenched with lust. Elle smiled seductively at him, popping her fingers out of the edge of her panties, and hooked her thumb into it. She tilted her head, gauging his reaction, as she pulled the edge down over her hipbone, his whole body twitched, as if poised to lunge at her, as if he had just caught himself. 

“Take them off me,” She challenged, moving her hand away. He made a deep rumbly sound from his chest, moving toward her so fast it took her a second to perceive what he was doing. With a straight armed push he gently shoved her back onto the bed, before kneeling before her. He placed both his big hands on her thighs and moved her legs apart, wide. Then with one smooth movement he ripped her panties from her, tearing them from her body. She felt the chill before she saw her panties come free from her. She gasped in surprise. But before she could say anything he was upon her, his hips diving as his big body covered hers, catching his weight on his forearms that caged her head. His face inches from her own. His minty breath against her lips.

Elle felt her breaths come out rabid, for a second her desire cooled as she became nervous about the size of his body, surrounding her. Milo was not a small man, and now with nothing between them but his boxers, a chill ran down her spine. Her mind flashed back to the alley, and panic hit her so hard, she began breathing rapidly.  But then his lips pressed against hers with such tenderness and affection, one of his big hands cradling the side of her face. He whispered soft words of praise to her in Dutch and English, and when she looked up into his piercing eyes, staring down at her with such intensity and adoration, she felt instantly safe. This was Milo, My man…he would never hurt me. She thought with such certainty it shocked her.

She raised a trembling hand to his face, cupping his cheek in it, he nuzzled his face into it, never looking away from her. She smiled helplessly at him, suddenly shy of him.

“You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen,” he told her with such sincerity she had no choice but to believe him. “I want to make love to you, I want to have you in my bed every night, you are…everything.” He whispered reverently, brushing his lips against hers. “I am yours, schatje.” He breathed against her lips,rolling his hips sensuously against her in a slow rhythm, the fabric of his boxers so thin it offered almost no barrier between their bodies, she could feel his heat and hardness against her most intimate place. He kissed her slowly and deeply, with tenderness, making her ache with more than desire. Carefully he broke the kiss, and lifted from her body, kneeling back onto his haunches. He looked down at her with such longing and awe, she arched under his gaze.

“Zo mooi dat het me pijn doet om niet te kijken“ He sighed, rubbing a hand absently over his chest as if it hurt. He locked eyes with her then, “You are so beautiful it pains me not to look at you,” He translated. She exhaled a breath at his words, managing a crooked smile at him.

“I’ll be so good to you love,” he whispers, his hazel eyes boring into her..into Elle’s. She blinked, taken aback, but Milo’s eyes are ice blue when she focuses, the pupils blown. 

She felt his hand gently cup her breast, kneading. His head dipped to her other one. His dark head of hair brushes against her collar bone as his tongue snaked around her nipple. He groans against her skin. 

“Oh Ellie,” He whispers reverently, “You are so beautiful here, like a little rose bud floating on your silky skin.” 

“What?” Elle asked, feeling dazed.

“I didn’t say anything schatje,” He replied, glancing up at her, his blue eyes blazing. Elle shook her head to clear it, focusing on his face. His brows knitted as he looked at her, lifting from her. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah…yeah I’m fine, don’t stop…” She whispered, threading her fingers into his hair, she arched her back and gently tugged him back to her. He came back to her without resistance, drawing her nipple hard. She gasped, as she felt his teeth rasp against her sensitive skin. His hands trailed down her body, feeling more calloused than usual,his fingers a bit rougher on her skin. She felt his forefinger slide down her cleft, brushing her clit, she gasped as her core clenched. He turned his hand, carefully spreading her open with his thumb and ring finger. Balancing his weight on his other arm, by her head, he lifted himself over her so he could look into her eyes, as he gently penetrated her with his forefinger. Her eyes widened, and then slitted, her lips parting. He leaned forward brushing her lips with his own, dipping the tip of his tongue against the inside of her lip. He found the little ridge at the top of her entrance, and petted it gently, she moaned into his mouth, her hips thrusting to his hand. Using his thumb he began to draw slow circles around her clit, light feathery touches, in a rush she became wetter for him, he withdrew his finger rubbing her wetness against her clit, she gasped at the touch, this time he caught her full bottom lip between his teeth, and nipped her lightly. 

Elle felt like she was coming undone, between his expert touches and wild kisses, she was already on the verge. But, she didn’t want to go over alone, with trembling arms she drew her hands down his body, she cupped him through his boxers, he gasped in surprise, and then groaned with want as his dick throbbed in her hand. 

“I…want to…can I?” She began, trying to find the words in her lust-addled brain. 

“Love, if you want to touch me, you just touch me, I’m yours, you don’t have to ask permission,” He whispers tenderly to her, brushing his lips against hers, his hazel eyes bright with emotion.

He moved his legs apart for her, bracing his weight on a knee, he caught her hand in his and guided it into his boxers, wrapping her trembling fingers around his shaft. Watching her, his hand around hers, his finger inside her, he moved both of his hands in time, thrusting inside her, as he guided her hand up and down his shaft, pressing her fingers tight around his length. His ice blue eyes never leaving her stunned brown. Wordlessly, he created a driving rhythm, moving her hand up and down his shaft fast and hard, as he thrust into her with his finger, Elle gasped as she felt him feed her another, stilling for a moment to let her adjust. 

“Je bent zo strak, ik ben bang dat ik je pijn kan doen,” You’re so tight I’m afraid I could hurt you.  He whispered, looking at her with a pained expression. “Wil je nooit pijn doen, hou alleen van je!” Never want to hurt you, only love you! He grounded out, desperation on his handsome face.

“I don’t understand…” She told him, her face contorting in pleasure, as he gently moved his fingers apart inside her. He held her hand still against his shaft, watching her face with such pained longing, Elle’s felt herself aching for him. 

“I…I don’t want to hurt you,” He told her, closing his eyes, his body trembling. 

“You’re…not, you feel amazing…” She moaned, arching her hips up to him, as he gently thrust his spread fingers.

“You're so…delicate here,” He said, his brows drawn, “Ik ben zo egoïstisch, ik had dit eerder moeten doen!Dus ik zou weten hoe ik je geen pijn moet doen!” I’m so selfish, I should have done this before! So I would know how not to hurt you! He bit out anguished, looking at her lovely face. Never before this moment had he wished he’d had more experience, never had he wanted it, but as he felt her tight sheath pressing against his fingers, all he could think was that when he had her for the first time…I’m going to cause her pain, when all I want is to give her pleasure…

Elle framed his face with both her hands, gently she pulled him to look at her, he looked at her with such frustrated sadness. 

“Baby,” She whispered, running her thumbs along his jaw, “Baby please…talk to me, what’s wrong? Why are you looking at me like this?” He blinked, the softest, gentlest smile crossed his face at her words.

“Ik verdien je niet.” I don’t deserve you, He told her, kissing her softly.

“English, please.” She whispered, breaking the kiss. He nodded.

“I’ve never…been with…anyone…you are so petite, I  fear…I could hurt you.” He finally managed, his face flushing. 

“You…are afraid you're going to hurt me in bed?” She asked, she felt such a pang of tenderness for him in that moment, she felt she couldn’t breath. He’s never slept with a woman my size, and he’s terrified he’s going to hurt me? He’s this worked up about possibly, eventually causing me pain? My sweet, amazing man…how can you think anything is wrong with you?!

“I don’t want to ever…” He swallowed, looking away, “I never want you to cry out from anything but pleasure with me,” 

“You…couldn’t hurt me,” She told him firmly, “Look at how well…we fit.” She whispered, moving her hips slowly taking his fingers deeper into her, working them in and out of her body, her eyes rolled back, her head falling. “Ohh, ohhh you feel so fucking good.” She moaned. He exhaled sharply, allowing her to fuck his fingers. She looked up at him, spearing him with her desire hooded eyes, “Haven’t I shown you exactly what I want? Oh baby, oh…I’ll always let you know exactly how to…ahhh, pleasure me.” 

“Elle…oh my precious woman, fuck.” He groaned, watching her move. 

“Let me touch you,” She whimpered, as she rode his fingers, “I don’t want to cum without you,” He took her hand in his again, and guided her back to his shaft, she wrapped her fingers around him, her soft palm sliding against him. “Your cock is so fucking perfect,” She hissed between clenched teeth, “Ahh you feel like velvet wrapped steel, I can’t wait to have this,” She drew her hand up and down firmly, “Inside me.” 

He cradled the side of her face with his free hand, running his thumb against the corner of her lips, wordlessly she turned and captured it between her lips sucking on it deeply. He cried out, his eyes rolling at the sensation. 

“You are mine,” She whispered, undulating her hips faster, he could feel her sheath spasming, “Fuck, oh god, you are my man!” She roared as she started to cum, her hand flying up and down his shaft so fast, his eyes rolled back in his head, also on the verge. 

“Say that again,” He demanded, pistoning his hips, grinding his cock into her soft palm.

“You are my man!” She gasped out, her channel milking his fingers, as she came in a wet hot rush against his palm. 

“Say my fucking name Elle,” He growled, desperate to hear her scream it.

“Ahhh fuck, MILO!!!”  she screamed as she hit her climax, spasming against him, her back bowing from the force of it, driving him over the edge, he arched his back, as he felt the pleasure building hard, the pressure undeniable, as he too came for her, he pushed his face into her neck, bellowing against her skin, as her soft palm continued to wring every last ounce of pleasure from him, until he was completely spent. He collapsed on her, quickly rolling off her, so as not to crush her.

With shaky hands and breath, he drew her to him, pulling her hard against his body, cradling her head against his heaving chest. She clung to him, wrapping her arms around his neck, drawing one of her legs over his hip. 

“Ik zal je nooit meer loslaten,” I will never let you go. He growled fiercely, holding her so tight to his body, he feared for a second he had hurt her, and loosened his grip. But Elle was having none of that, and drew herself back to him just as hard as he’d held her. 

“Squeeze me…hard,” She commanded, already falling asleep. He smiled as he did just that, soon her breathing was even and deep, and her face relaxed. He looked down at her hauntingly beautiful face, and sighed. I just gave this woman a piece of my heart…

****

“I just gave you a piece of my heart,” He whispers, gently running his fingertips against the baby’s sleeping face. He looks up at her laying in the bed, and smiles at her, pure joy lighting his face. “You did so well Ellie,” He tells her, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

“You have a name for her?” The midwife asks, washing her hands in the basin, smiling at what she probably assumes is the happy couple. Eleanore feels her chest become heavy as she fights back a sob. 

“This is my most precious blessing,” he whispers, looking up at the midwife, unable to stop himself from grinning wide, “My first born,” He tells her, Eleanore shoots him a quick surprised look, but he doesn’t even acknowledge it, though Ellie knows he saw it. “My little Eleanore, Nora for short.”  The midwife beams, writing down the correct spelling of the baby’s name, and her parents. Roman doesn’t even hesitate when he spells his name for her as the baby’s legal father. 

The baby wakes up as the midwife leaves, squawling for her mother. Roman lays the baby gently on her chest, Ellie flushes as she tries to feed the baby underneath a sheet, fumbling with it. Roman places his warm calloused hands over her trembling ones. 

“It’s okay Ellie, I’ll turn around if you like,” He begins gently, kindly, “But you don’t have anything to be embarrassed about, there’s nothing more natural than a mother feeding her baby, and…I’m your husband now.” He reminds her.

“Thank you…” She whispers brokenly, “You...you made her your own,”

“She is mine,” He says simply, “Nora is my baby, and that’s the last that has to ever be said of that.” 

“You didn’t have to be here with me, in the room.” She says, shy of him. Embarrassed that he saw her exposed as he did, but…also glad he was there to hold her hand.

“I couldn’t leave you alone,” He says as if it were the most obvious thing, “Your mother will be so mad she missed this,” He laughs, “ I watched my baby come into this world, where else would I be?” 

“Will you…do you…” She blushes furiously, he watches her carefully now, waiting patiently for her to ask what’s on her mind. “Will you want more children,”  He smiles at her so warmly, so brightly his hazel eyes shining…how did she ever think his eyes looked like Lucas’...

“That isn’t up to me,” He tells her, “Why don’t we bask, a while in this little angel, and then we will revisit this when you’re ready.” 

“I robbed you,” She sobs suddenly, inconsolable. Roman grasps her to him, the baby between them, holding her, running his big hands up and down her back, kissing her all over her face, lightly. Her forehead, the bridge and tip of her nose, her cheeks, her chin, her eyes close on the sensation. She feels his thumb wiping away her tears. She opens her eyes to stare into his, at point blank range, blues and green, honey brown…his eyes bursting with color. How dull and lifeless Lucas’ eyes seem now in comparison. 

“My beautiful bride, you didn’t rob me of anything, it was always you Ellie, it will always be you. You gave me a child, you gave me everything I could want, what more could I rightfully ask for?” He asks her, his voice low and so sweet. “This is a happy day, I will not allow it to be anything less,” 

“You could have had a real marriage, you could have…” She begins, his lips stop her words. Her heart pounds in her chest at the contact, he brushes his lips against hers, feathery light, soft and slow. Soothing her even as she trembles against him. His hand under her chin, holding her face where he wants it, with the lightest of touches. He tilts his face, giving her lips a little more pressure, before he pulls back. Their first kiss, he hadn’t even kissed her at their wedding 4 months ago. 

“I have everything I want Ellie,” He tells her, his voice deep and resounding. He places his forehead against hers, breathing her in. “Everything I ever wanted.”

****

Elle woke feeling warm and safe, in Milo’s arms…completely naked. The sun was streaming in through the open window, illuminating his handsome sleep relaxed face. She felt the warm pleasant weight of Felix curled on top of her legs, and for the first time in days, she felt…content. She ran a languid hand down his warm hard chest, and lowered it to his flat stomach, she noticed that he was wearing pajama bottoms, and unless she’d missed the mark, nothing else. She smiled, curling her body closer to his, placing her face into the crook of his neck, she inhaled deeply of his scent. 

“If you keep touching me like this,” He groused, his sleep roughed voice deep.

“You’ll what? Give me another mind shattering orgasm? Not seeing the downside Van Ee,” She teased, he opened his eyes, his entire face softening as he took her in. 

“No nightmares?” He asked her, tucking a stray lock of her hair behind her ear. She shook her head no. His smile widened with that. “Good,” He brushed his lips against her forehead, turning to his back, he pulled her with him, she squealed as she ended up laying on top of him. He chuckled deep in his chest, the sound vibrating her body.

“You just love man-handling me don’t you?” She sighed, amused.

“I like handling you,” He agreed. “Did you have a dream memory?” he asked.

“I…think….maybe?” She offered, screwing up her face as she tried to remember. “I remember a baby, and…a man named Roman?” 

“Ah, Eleanore and Roman?” He supplied.

“Yes, he called her…” She began.

“Ellie,” He intoned. “Have you…had other dreams about them?” He asked, glancing down at her, an incomprehensible look on his face.  Elle’s face flushed, as she recalled the dream of them she’d had.

“Uh…” She began.

“What?” He asked, alarmed, leaning up on his elbow to look at her, “Have you seen something awful about them before?” He asked, the concern in his voice was the only reason that Elle decided to tell him the truth. My embarrassment isn’t worth more than his worry.

“So…you remember that night I…uh…dry humped you?” She offered. He blinked as he looked at her. 

“The morning before you kissed me?” He asked, his eyes dancing with the memory.

“Yeah…” She let her sentence trail, he arched both his eyebrows at her. “You went to law school, I’m sure you can put this together…”

“Ohhhh!” He trilled, as it came to him, “Well then,” He smirked at her.

“Feeling pretty smug right now aren’t you?” She retorted, rolling her eyes. 

“I past life seduced you, of course I’m feeling smug,” He teased, grinning at her. “I’m surprised you haven’t had racy dreams about Simrin and Aiden,” Her face flushed again, and his jaw dropped. “Ohhh, please tell me it was one of the times at the lake!” 

“One of the…?How many times at the…never mind, don’t answer that.” She said hastily, flushing furiously.

“Oh so many times at the lake, it was a…favorite spot.” He told her, enjoying her sudden bout of shyness. 

“So you…umm can remember us…” She let the sentence trail.

“Not all of the details, it’s not like…experiencing it first hand, similar perhaps to watching a movie?” He explained.

“So like past life porn,” She offered. “Have you ever…”

“Gotten off to our past life sexual encounters?” He supplied for her, she blushed furiously, but her curiosity won out, so she nodded yes. He speared her with one of those heated, intense looks she was beginning to become obsessed with. “Of course I have.” 

****

Milo allowed Elle to cajole him into going into town for breakfast, mostly because he didn’t want to share her with anyone else this morning, and also because he wasn't entirely certain that he wouldn’t come to physical blows with his idiot twin. Milo was still absolutely furious with Max, though he found it hard not to smile when thinking of Elle coming to his defense. Spectacular woman, I’d fist fight my entire family to have you on my team like that again.

“So, I have a question for you!” Elle announced walking out of the ensuite, clad in only a towel, her short hair damp. He sucked a breath in at the sight, leering at her.

“Is the question ‘what will Milo do if I drop this towel?’ because I genuinely am not sure myself.” he teased. She gave him a droll look.

“No, it’s an actual question,” She told him tartly. “Not everything is about my tits you know.”

“I wish everything was about your tits,” He sighed, “It would make my job so much more interesting.”

“Haha,” She rejoined, rolling her eyes, “Come on I’m serious!”

“Alright, alright I’m listening, ask me.” He replied, schooling his features to look as serious as he could, though he could feel the edges of his lips tweaking.

“Yesterday, during the argument you had with Max, did you tell him…to get cancer?” She asked, looking perplexed. 

“I...did,” He conceded, looking awkwardly away.

“Why?” She asked bewildered.

“It’s…a Dutch thing,” he began, he steepled both hands in front of his mouth for a second trying to find how best to explain himself. “So, in the Netherlands, we…swear in diseases.” 

“I am not following,” She told him, deeply confused.

“Okay so, you might say in english ‘this is a shitty day,’ in Dutch you would probably say ‘het kankerweer!” or…the weather is cancerous.” He explained, Elle looked at him for a tense moment before bursting out laughing.

“That is the best thing I’ve ever heard! The weather is cancerous!? Really! Fuck I love the Dutch!” She giggled, “But you called Max…kankerhoer?” 

“...Cancer whore,” He translated, looking away. Elle laughed so hard, she snorted. Milo glanced over at her, she doubled over grasping the towel.

“Oh my god! No wonder Maeve was so pissed off!” She snorted.

“Objectively I don’t want my twin to get cancer…” He began, Elle started laughing again.

“Objectively your twin is a douche canoe!” She informed him sweetly. “Or…a cancer whore.” 

“It sounds so stupid in English…” He sighed.

“It sounds stupid in Dutch too,” She told him, “This is Klootviool all over again,” 

“I am teaching you just the worst assortment of Dutch, when I take you to the Netherlands, you will not be allowed to speak to anyone, or I’ll spend my days fist fighting on the streets.” He told her.

“When…?” She asked, arching an eyebrow. Not if, but…when.

“Not now obviously, but eventually of course I want to take you home,” He told her as if it were not even a question.

“To introduce me to even more of your family?” She teased.

“Absolutely not! You can facetime with James, Julian, and Nadia far, far in the future, preferably after I’ve died at my funeral, because I can not make it more clear, they are not invited!” He told her sardonically, “Naem, you’re going to meet soon enough, but she’s the only good one.” 

“Oh and you know I had such a soft spot for Max,” She retorted, sarcastically.

“If I had a choice in the order in which you met my family, it would have been Naem, and then absolutely no one else, maybe my mother, on her deathbed.” He conceded. 

“You are really close with her, ha?” She asked.

“Naomi is my favorite person…one of my favorite people.” He amended, brushing a stray lock of her wet hair from her face. “I think you two will like each other, or I hope you do. Naem is so thoughtful, and smart;brilliant actually. She wants to be a neurosurgeon!” He told her his face bright with pride, it heartened Elle seeing how much he loved his sister. 

“Just a family of brilliant people…and Max then,” She teased. He smirked at that.

“Not that I’m disagreeing with you about Max, but you know he is a medical doctor right? Well almost, he just needs to do his clinical supervision, and then get his unrestricted BIG-registration number.” He told her, watching her face contort in shocked disbelief.

“Max…your twin, is a doctor?! People…allow Max to treat them?” She hissed.

“Not yet,” He told her, “And never me,” 

“I can not wrap my head around Max being…Dr. Van Ee,” She whispered.

“I know, it’s gross.” He agreed.

“What’s his specialization?” She asked.

“Pediatrics,” He told her, stifling a grin at her shocked face.

“Kids?! He’s going to be a pediatrician!?” She shrieked.

“Yeah, well Pediatric surgeon,” He said nodding his head, “He’s very good with children, it’s genuinely…disquieting.”

“Holy shit, wonders never cease.” She sighed, “And here I thought he was just an art school dropout…about to start his first revolution.”

“You thought my twin was the next Hitler?” He asked her incredulously, “Hitler had charisma, Elle, my brother’s only virtue is that he’s sometimes nice to small children,”  They both laughed at that. 

“I…have to go put clothes on, and I…also realized I have no actual clothes in here.” She told him, glancing at the door.

“Would this be a bad time to point out I already offered to clear space in my closet for you? And if you had taken me up on it, you would have clothes right now?” He asked her cheekily.

“Yes it’s a bad time to point that out,” She agreed, “But I do see your point, and raise you, ‘give me some of your clothes, so I don’t have to go to my room in a towel!’” 

“Help yourself, schatje, you don’t have to ask…ever.” He informed her, gesturing to his closet. She barely managed to stifle a smile at that, covering her mouth with her hand as she walked to his closet, stepping in she called over her shoulder.

“Maybe…maybe you should clear some space for me in here,” She muttered, refusing to look at him. But out of the corner of her eye she was sure she saw him beaming at her, absolutely overjoyed.

****

After Elle had moved some of her things into the closet, and her toiletries into his ensuite, they headed down stairs to leave. 

“Shit,” Milo hissed, feeling around his jacket pocket, “My keys, I must have left them upstairs, I’ll be right back,” He kissed her forehead, before turning to run up the stairs. Elle smiled at his retreating back, unable to stop herself from feeling giddy at the sight of him.

“Elle,” Max murmured her name, she turned to see him in the living room. Fury hit her like a brick, as she glared at him, she noted that despite them being identical twins, they had stopped resembling each other to her, Max looked like a traitorous rat at the moment.

“What do you want?” She fumed. 

“To…apologize.” He told her, looking chastised. “What…I said yesterday…”

“Was uncalled for, mean spirited, demeaning, and you would have deserved Milo knocking your teeth down your throat over it.” She offered, hotly. 

“Yes, yes I would have.” He conceded. Elle blinked in surprise, taking in his stark face. “I should not have dragged you into a family fight, and I am sorry. It was…a really shitty thing to do, to try and get a rise out of my brother using you.”

“He didn’t deserve that,” She mumbled, “We…you made it sound cheap…this thing between us. And he isn’t like that, he’s…he cares so much.” 

“I know,” He told her looking gutted, “I see the way he looks at you, I’ve never seen him look at anyone like this, and…I feel like a fucking monster.”

“No one…has ever looked at me like that,” She breathed, “I…didn’t know anyone could, and you…what you said, you tried to embarrass him over it, I could forgive you for insulting me, but…he didn’t deserve that.” She shrugged her shoulders, looking away.

“You are right he didn’t, and neither did you.” He sighed, “I saw red, and I just…”

“This thing with your sisters,” She began, “I don’t know enough to give you advice, but is it worth hurting your brother over?”

“No, no it’s not.” He said firmly. 

“Don’t ever use me to hurt him again,” She said finally, her tone clipped and harsh. “Never, I won’t allow it, I’ll rip you to fucking shreds over it.”

“I wouldn’t expect anything less from you,” He told her, the corner of his mouth tweaking.

“I haven’t forgiven you,” She reminded him, “But…I accept your apology.”  He nodded his head at that, turning to leave he stopped and speared her with a look she had to concede was very like his twin’s.

“Is he actually your boyfriend?” He asked her, “Or did you just agree with Maeve yesterday in solidarity with him?”

“He…hasn’t asked me to…” She retorted her face flaming, she honestly had forgotten she had declared him her boyfriend in front of everyone. Max looked over her head for a moment, before locking eyes with her again.

“And if he did?” He asked, in a low tone.

“Obviously,” She mumbled in a huff. He smiled a huge grin, not looking at her, Elle felt a shiver down her spine as she turned to look behind her, at Milo standing at the foot of the stairs, an awe struck, wild, expression on his face. Instantly his face softened as their eyes locked, and Elle felt that look all the way down to her toes. He walked toward her, and framed her face in his hands, searching her expression as if trying to memorize her face.

“Jesus…why does no one ever look at me like that?” Daire sighed from the top of the stairs, Elle and Max  looked up at him standing in his boxers leaning against the railing.  “Shite, did I ruin the mo’?” 

“A little yes,” Elle told him, barely stifling a grin. 

“Well I’m going to die alone, so fuck you both and your happiness.” He teased, scrunching his nose at them.

“I’m sure Maeve has a friend you haven’t already besmirched,” Max offered.

“Doubtful, the only friend she has that I have nae had my way with is you,” He told his brother in law, “And if I’m being honest, if I were going to swing the other way, it with no’ be with you, maybe Julian, definitely Milo if he’d look at me like that,” He said nodding his head toward them, because Milo had not taken his eyes of her.

“I’d scratch your eyes out,” Elle told him, not at all joking. Milo stifled a laugh at that, drawing her to him, he wrapped his arms around her, kissing the top of her head.

“Red headed assholes are not my type,” He informed the room. “Fierce little Indian women though…” He let his sentence trail.

“Oh I have a cousin you would just adore then,” She teased. He smirked at that, muttering something in Dutch that made Max laugh. 

“Let me feed you, schatje. You get so peaked when you’re hungry, and say such ridiculous things.” Turning her in his arms, he kept one arm around her shoulders and guided her out the door, beaming like an absolute idiot, and not giving a damn.

****

Daire watched their retreating backs, the humor left him, and his face fell looking tired and a little sad.

“You really liked her?” Max asked, taking in his brother-in-law's expression.

“She’s…special,” He sighed. “I have no’ felt like this about a lass in a long time…maybe ever actually.” 

“Oh Christ, you are so daft,” Maeve sighed, shamelessly eavesdropping, from the kitchen door. 

“Pardon me?” Daire hissed at his sister, “Are you nae the same sister who has prayed day and night for me to get my ego knocked down a peg?”

“Umnae saying you did no’ need a swift kick off your ego horse,” She told him, rolling her eyes, “You did, but you did nae have those kind of feelings for her,”

“I did so!” He glowered at his twin.

“You had affection for her, but you were no’ romantically interested in her.” Maeve told him.

“Excuse me! Are you seriously telling me about my own feelings?” He asked her incredulously. “I fancied that lass, I still fancy her!”

“But you did no’ want to kiss her, or throw her on top of my bed and have your way with her, like you did Marcy Greybill.” She told him sweetly. He flinched, his face flushing.

“You ken about Marcy…?” He said looking properly embarrassed.

“Oh I ken that I threw out all my bedding after that,” She told him harshly. “The fact is you never wanted to do that with Elle.”

“No, it would have felt wrong,” He conceded, “But is that no’ how you ken you have strong feelings for someone? Not wanting to defile them on your sister’s bed?”

“I would have defiled your sister on top of my sleeping brother,” Max informed him, arching an eyebrow at him, “Being sexually attracted to the girl is sort of prerequisite to having strong romantic feelings for someone.”

“That’s an image I do no’ need,” Daire said looking disgusted. 

“There’s a limit mo’ chridhe, that limit is having sex on top of your partner’s sibling…” She informed him, also looking disgusted.

“I’m not saying I wanted to do that, Jesus! You know what I meant!” He hissed at both of them.

“This…this is why they all moved out before him,” Daire commended.

“It certainly did no’ help,” Maeve agreed, “Regardless, you did no’ have those kinds of thoughts about Elle,” 

“Nae, I just…wanted to be around her, and talk to her, and…she makes me laugh.” He explained, looking confused. “I want…nice things for her, and to see her happy…”

“But you don’t want to…fuck her?” Max asked pointedly.

“No,” He said looking sharply at his brother in law, “Feels vulgar even contemplating it, is that no’...”

“Did you want to…have nice sex with her?” Max offered.

“I mean she’s a beautiful lass…” He let the sentence trail frowning. “To be honest, I did no’ think about that at all. I kissed her once, it was…pleasant,”  Max and Maeve exchanged looks.

“You are right, lekker ding,” He said to Maeve, his tone deeply amused. “This daft fool does not have those kind of feeling for her at all.” 

“Aye I did! I do!” Daire insisted, getting angry at their dismissive attitude. “Why else would I seek the lass out? Why then when something funny happens, or I see something amusing the first person I want to tell is her then?!” He demanded.

“Because my silly, bampot of a brathair, you like her, as a person.” Maeve told him, rolling her eyes. “Platonically, you jackass.”

“Like…I want to be friends with her?” He asked his sister, looking genuinely baffled.

“Aye,” Maeve told him, barely stifling a laugh at his confused face.

“Nae, I do no’ feel like this about the lads, I do no’ want to call Seamus or Finn and ask about their days!” He hissed at his sister, “No’ this is different.”

“It’s only different because she’s a woman,” Max told him rolling his eyes too, “Obviously you’re not going to want to slam beers and talk about chicks with her, Jesus you’re simple.” 

“I’ve had female friends, I do no’ feel this way about them,” Daire retorted, reticently. 

“Have you?” Maeve asked challengingly, “Ones you’ve no’ shagged?”

“Of course!” He hissed.

“Name one,” Maeve challenged. Daire glared at her, placing a hand to his chin, he concentrated.

“Isla!” He informed Maeve triumphantly, before his face fell. “No…shite, we got drunk last Christmas.”

“Seamus’ sister Isla!?” Maeve demanded mouth agape. Daire shrugged. “She fucking looks like a female Seamus!”

“Seamus is a bonnie man,” Daire defended, “And I was right blootered!”

“This is my point!” Maeve snapped.

“Wait, wait, Freya, no, uhh Ava, yes Ava…oh shite never mind there was a hen do, things happened, “ He tried again, now holding his head in his hand, concentrating he snapped his fingers, “Ainsley!” 

“Ainsley? Ainsley Stewart?” Maeve asked incredulously, “Ainsley is a lesbian Daire!” 

“Och actually…” He shrugged looking at his sister sheepishly. “New years,”

“You…slept with a lesbian!?” Max demanded, “Wait, wait…no not Ains?! With the short hair, and…” 

“Yes that Ains, the masculine presenting lesbian,” Maeve agreed, “You shagged her? How?”  Daire gave her a droll look.

“With my dick, dear sister,” He retorted.

“Obviously everyone has had a turn,” Maeve growled, planting her face in her hands. “Ainsley fucking Stewart for god sakes!”

“To be fair…she was probably pretending I was you,” Daire told Maeve. Who pulled a horrified disgusted face at him. “I think, I mean she called me Maeve at one point, it was…disturbing.” 

“And you immediately stopped and sent her on her way?” Max offered hopefully.

“Well…no, I did no’ want to be rude.” He told his brother in law. Max stared at him, turning to his wife who shrugged equally horrified.

“Siùrsach!” Maeve and Max said in tandem, looking at him in disgusted awe.

“I am…beginning to see your point,” He conceded. 

“You’ve never had a female friend in your life,” Max commented, “And so naturally the first time you meet a woman you like, but don’t want to…you would assume you were falling in love.” he sighed, “You are a mess,” 

“A sloppy ugly mess,” Maeve agreed. 

“So…I just want to be friends with the lass.” Daire repeated, staring into the distance contemplating. 

“Ainsley fucking Stewart, Jesus, Mary and Joseph…” Maeve muttered. 

“She made me keep most of my clothes on, if that makes you feel better about it.” He told his sister.

“Nae that makes it significantly worse,” Maeve told him, pursing her lips.

“Oh shite, that would be because she was pretending I was you…” He began realizing, “That bitch!” He raged. “I’m twice as hot as you!”

“Twice as stupid maybe,” Maeve retorted. “I can no’ talk about this anymore, about to lose my breakfast.”  She walked back toward the kitchen, then stopped looking over her shoulder bewildered and mortified, “AINSLEY STEWART?!” 

****

Elle covertly watched Milo switch gears, with precision, his sure calm nature noticeably absent in his driving, as he took a corner sharply. But despite his speed demon style of driving, Elle was not nervous in the least, as with everything else he did he exuded supreme competency.  Instead she sank back into the plush leather seat of his luxury car, taking in the view. And not the one outside her window at that. 

Today he had selected a casual white button down shirt, that he had rolled up his forearms, opened at the collar, over a pair of perfectly fitting jeans that outlined his powerful thighs. His gray notched lapel peacoat style jacket draped over the back of his seat.He had traded out his diamond watch for a more sedate, though probably equally expensive gold one. His blond hair was finely tousled, which Elle suspected was unusual for him. But it made him look young, and charming. He had shaved this morning, and his skin gleamed in the bright sunlight, his ice blue eyes looked almost clear. 

“Schatje, I’m going to end up in a ditch if you keep looking at me like that,” He teased, down shifting, as he came to an intersection. 

“If you didn’t want to be eye-banged you should have covered up, slut.” She retorted, sticking her tongue out at him. He glanced at her, a smirk on his face. 

“I thought you liked my sluttiness,” He rejoined, quickly brushing a kiss to her temple, lingering a moment to take in her scent. “I don’t think I’ve ever actually liked the smell of my shampoo, until now.” 

“I mean this in the nicest way, but I hate your shampoo,” She told him. “My hair feels like straw,”

“You could have moved your things into our room any time you had liked, you were the one being obstinate,” He pointed out.

“Our room?” She asked, arching an eyebrow.

“I’m not pretending we are having an extended sleepover anymore,” He told her, “That is our room, our bed, and frankly our house.”

“OUR house?” She managed, choking. He turned to look at her, tilting his head.

“Everything I have is yours,” He said simply, looking back at the road ahead. 

“Until I have to go back to being a penniless bookstore manager,” She sighed dramatically, not taking him seriously. He turned to look at her, his brows furrowed.

“I’ll sign over the deed to the house to you right now,” He told her, “I built it for you,” 

“What…what do you mean you built it for me?” She asked, shocked. “You haven’t known me long enough to have built me a house!”

“My mother told me you lived by these mountains, so I bought the property, and built the house….for you,” He explained evenly, “You are the only reason I came here.”

“Oh,” She whispered, feeling faint.

“Elle, I live in the Netherlands, do you have any idea how close the Swiss Alps are to me? Why did you think I built this place?” He asked gently.

“How…or why…would I assume it was about me!?” She asked incredulously, he smiled softly at that.

“Alles wat ik doe gaat over jou.” Everything I do is about you, he muttered under his breath. “Don’t get too worked up about it,” he said as he took another turn, “You have time to get used to the idea, I am a really patient man,”

“Oh so patient, weren’t you the one talking about oopsy twins yesterday?” She reminded him, even as her heart pounded in her chest. He built a house for me!?

“Nine months is a lot of time to get to know someone,” He rebuffed, “But if I remember correctly, you were the one who wanted to roll the dice,”

“Have you seen you naked?!” She demanded, “I’d roll the fucking dice on us surviving me jumping you right now!” 

“I could pull over, just say the word.” He replied, casting one of those hot intense looks that instantly got her going.

“Cold my asshole,” She muttered, staring at him, hands clenching and unclenching in a bid not to make a grab for him.

“What?” He asked, confused.

“Your…mother, sister-in-law and your…Daire, told me you were cold.” She supplied. 

“My Daire?” He asked her, fixing her with a disgusted glance. “Absolutely not, he is Max’s, or the dumpsters.” 

“So not the point,” She sighed. “They were so full of it, ‘Milo’s cold.’” She mimicked in a nasal tone. “Idiots.”

“I am…cold.” He asserted, looking straight ahead. A muscle in his jaw working. “They…are not wrong.” She glanced at him, saw the unreadable expression on his face for what it was, hurt. She clenched her teeth in anger, and remorse that she had even said it. 

“Baby,” She whispered, he turned to glance at her out of the corner of his eye, his breath hitched. “You are not cold, there isn’t anything cold about you. I know they are your family but…if they make you feel like there’s something wrong with you then…fuck them. Because you’re…perfect.” She looked down at her hands, feeling exposed and vulnerable to him. I like you so much, I…could love you to a life destroying level. 

“I love when you call me baby,” He told her, his face flushing as he pressed a fist to his mouth, hiding his brilliant smile. In that moment Elle felt her world tilt, and just like that…fuck I think I just gave you a piece of my heart….

****

After breakfast, in which Milo had sat beside her rather than across from her, a quirk that Elle realized she really enjoyed, they walked around town, neither in a hurry to return to the chaos that was the house. He had linked his fingers with hers, and anytime she moved too far for his liking he would tug her back to him. He kept pace with her, seeming to just enjoy having her close. 

If Elle showed even the slightest interest in a store, he would pull her into it. Allowing her to roam to her heart content. Watching her, seeming to take note of what she looked at. He seemed unable or unwilling to stop touching her, a hand on her low back, her shoulder, occasionally he would simply wrap her in his arms from behind, laying his cheek against her temple. Elle had not realized how touch deprived she was, because every time he was near she would get a flutter in her chest hoping he would put his hands on her in some way, and everytime he did it would send a thrill of happiness through her. 

At one point in their walk she had pulled him into an Alley, and pressed a hot desperate kiss to his lips. He had framed her face with both his hands, and slowed the pace of the kiss, until it had turned tender and sweet. Leaning his forehead against hers as they came apart, he smiled at her with such heartbreaking warmth.

“This is…my favorite day ever.” He whispered, kissing the tip of her nose. And Elle had to concede that it was hers too. 

On their way back to his car, Elle spotted an art store. She didn’t realize how her face lit up, but the sight of her made Milo sigh with pleasure. He would never get tired of seeing her happy, he thought as he pulled her into the store. He released her hand instantly inside the store, and just followed behind her, watching her elegant hands slide over the supplies, touching brushes, and paints and inks, every now and then she would still and look at something with longing, before quickly looking away, when she came up to a large easel her face went soft, as she ran her fingers against the display model. He turned to find one of the attendants.

“We’ll take that,” he said, indicating the easel. Elle turned to gape at him, as he picked out everything she had been drooling over since she walked into the store. But when he came to the paint brushes, he picked the tier above what she had, the ones that were twice the price. He turned to her, fixing her with a discerning look, “Do you prefer canvas or paper?” He asked her.

“Both…” She whispered, “but…” He wasn’t listening; he proceeded to pick out several canvases and three different kinds of sketchbooks, for good measure he picked up several bottles of metallic ink he’d seen her eying, one in every color they carried. 

“What kind of Calligraphy pens do you prefer?” He asked her sweetly, Elle blinked, surprised. 

“How did you know I do calligraphy?” She asked, stunned.

“Background on your phone, the picture is not good, but the work is beautiful.” He told her shrugging, before turning to the attendant who was also gaping at him, “One of every kind of Calligraphy pen you have, oh and the markers too,” 

“Uh…do you have a brand preference?” She asked.

“All of them,” He told her smiling, “And whatever sketchbook works the best with marker ink,” 

“I…we don’t have tabs or store credit.” She told him. Milo fixed her with a bless-your-heart look, reaching into jacket to grab his Hermes wallet. 

“Do you accept Amex?” He asked,pulling out his black metal credit card. The girl looked like she won the lottery as she took it from his hand. Now enthusiastically collecting their purchases, before long she was suggesting items that were in line with what they were buying, Milo just nodded and kept adding items on. 

“You…can not…be serious.” Elle hissed seeing the total at the end, Milo arched an eyebrow at her as he signed the receipt, and gave the girl instructions for delivery. Which, the store most certainly did not offer, but given that he had bought a week's worth of their total sales in under an hour, they were more than happy to oblige.

“Some women like jewelry, my woman likes art supplies, so that’s what she gets.” He told her simply, planting a kiss on her stunned mouth. Before leading her from the store, Elle swore she heard the store attendant sigh.

Elle walked beside him in stunned silence, before snapping out of it. Digging her heels in she stopped right in the middle of the sidewalk. 

“You…can’t just buy me!” She sputtered. “That was excessive!”

“I’m not buying you, I am commissioning you,” He told her calmly. “I want you to make me something, I want a piece of your art for our house. I just wanted to make sure you had everything to create something truly spectacular.” 

“We agreed you weren’t going to buy me stuff that was more expensive than my car…” She began, he tilted his head and fixed her with a look of consternation.

“That…was more than your car?” He asked her, “I've got to get you a new car, you’re driving around in a death trap.” He muttered. 

“You absolutely will NOT buy me a car!” She growled.

“We’ll see,” He told her soothingly, kissing her forehead.”Come on, let’s go home.” He tugged her hand, leading her forward. 

“No cars!” She hissed, as he linked his fingers back into hers. He pulled her against his side, inhaling her scent.

“Would you prefer an SUV? It gets icy here, that’s probably a better call.” He conceded, walking. “Automatic I presume?” 

“Don’t presume anything! I don’t need a new vehicle!” She glowered. He just smiled secretively, and continued walking.

****

The tension from the night before was definitely markedly absent in the house when they returned. Everyone seemed eager to get along again, and Elle, while not necessarily happy with everyone, was more than happy not to argue. Milo put a movie on, and the family gathered to watch together. Making no secret of his affection for her, Milo pulled her to sit between his legs on the couch, wrapping his arms around her. No one commented, in fact it seemed like everyone was going to extremes not to react at all.

Elle was so warm and comfortable in his arms, that she began to drift to sleep, he carefully guided her head to his chest, brushing her hair from her face, looking down at her as if she were the most precious thing he had ever seen. Her last conscious thought as he drew a blanket over her was I missed you so much. 

Milo watched the movie, covertly stealing glances at her sleeping face, brushing his fingers down the side of her face, his brows furrowed. He felt eyes on him and looked up to see Max watching them. His twin gave him a half smile, before looking away, gazing at his wife who was also grinning at him. 

Maeve mouthed ‘I am so happy for you,’ to him, genuinely beaming at him. Milo smiled back at her, so happy in this moment he felt like his heart might burst from it.  He looked back at the woman in his arms, sighing over her, absolutely smitten. So focused on her, that he didn’t notice Ute’s saddened glance at both of them, or the tear that trailed down her face, before she looked away.