A Working Life

 

They called him Zip, his real name was Stelious, he was half-Greek. His family nicknamed him Zip when he was at Primary School, he had a habit of talking too much. His mother said he was like a yapping chihuahua, and his dad was always telling him to “zip it”. The name Zip kind of stuck, his friends used it and even his work colleagues when he was older.

 

At the age of twenty-five, after some mundane jobs, Zip got accepted into the police. He spent the first two years as a probationer and then became a substantive Police Constable. He was stationed at Mole Valley but before he could settle, he was moved to Epsom Police Station. Surrey Police had just taken over the area from the Metropolitan Police. Half the officers were from the Met and the other half were from Surrey during the transition, it made for an interesting learning environment for Zip. The Met officers were older and more experienced, and the Surrey bosses were feeding the newbie Constables to the new area.

 

His first ever week of nights was on a rota with around twelve other officers. The Met guys were strutting around like they had just come back from Vietnam; they would relive old war stories and Zip had to pretend he was interested and impressed. In his third night shift he was put with a guy called Andy, he was a Met officer who said,

“Right Zip, when I ask you for directions, you look at the map and direct me. Got it?

“Yes Andy, no problem.”

“What did you do before the police?” Asked Andy.

Zip replied, “After university I worked in a restaurant and then a warehouse.”

 

“Oh no Zip, that’s all this job needs, is another bloody student.

If there’s any bother tonight, just manage the comms, and I’ll sort the fighting out.”

 

Zip looked down at the map, slightly uncomfortable and made sure he was as ready as he could be until they were radioed up and sent to an incident. He was so used to talking it was really hard for him to stay mute. Andy was an angry bald man with height issues; he was like Grumpy from Snow White.

Unfortunately, this wasn’t the only time he was treated like an idiot. However, Zip was able to keep his composure and his temper and got through a tough period of his new career. After a few more years, Zip moved to a neighbourhood role which was less blues and twos and more teas and biscuits. For example, they never had to work night shifts and not too many weekends.

 

Zip settled into his role; however, things weren’t so happy at home. He was house sharing with an old friend, but it wasn’t working out. His friend, Steve was a weed smoker and even though Zip was a policeman he didn’t stop. The whole house stunk and Zip smelt like Snoop Dogg and his colleagues began to notice. There was only two months left on the lease and Zip had made it clear he was not going to renew it. Steve was annoyed with him, and they argued all of the time. Zip couldn’t move back with his parents as they had retired and had moved to Cos.

It got so bad that Zip sometimes stayed with friends on their sofas. Epsom police station was a very old-style building from the 60’s. There was a basement with various boilers and electrical boxes. The ground floor consisted of the front office, a small custody unit with five cells, a Met control room, used for the Sutton area, locker rooms and a property office. There was a small gym, and an explosive outbuilding, in case bombs or grenades were found, they are stored there until the MOD could attend. It was concrete and bricks, all business and no pleasure, it would’ve fitted in well in the USSR.

 

The first floor had two huge offices, one for the neighbourhood team and response and the other was used for CID, there was also a training department. Upstairs on the second floor was a canteen. There was a huge kitchen and back room and two other rooms with tables and chairs. One room had a full-sized snooker table, but the Met police took that with them when they eventually all left the building.

 

After around five years of Zip being there, the canteen was closed down and the kitchen and back office was locked up. The sitting area was still used by staff for their lunch breaks, but it was much quieter than it used to be. Zip felt that a lot of its character and culture of the station had changed. Firearms and traffic officers would come over to have their breakfast in the canteen but when that option went, so did the visiting officers. The building had lost its heart.

 

Zip was befriended at work by a colleague called Craig. Craig was transferred onto his team from the response team after a neighbourhood officer retired. Craig was married with two children but there was something a bit strange about him. Zip gave him a chance, and they met up a few times for a few beers and they once went to a football match. Craig seemed fine, but Zip found him a little clingy and possibly gay. Zip would often be sat on a computer, typing out some report and he would look up and Craig would be staring at him.

 

One evening Zip was bored and needed some space away from Craig, he took a walk around the station, he went up to the second floor to see if anyone was having a break in the canteen, but it was empty. Being a police officer, he is automatically nosey. He walked out into the corridor and up to the back-office door and tried the handle, it was locked. He stepped back and looked at the door frame, there was something resting on top. He stretched up and felt along the dusty top, bingo! There was a single door key left all alone awaiting to be found.

 

Zip felt like Indiana Jones, discovering and exploring new worlds. He looked up and down the corridor to make sure that nobody was coming and opened the door. It wasn’t exactly Aladdin’s cave, but he shut the door and looked around. The back room was a lot bigger than he expected, it had a desk and chair but also a TV and an old-fashioned sitting chair. It was great and Zip had just found his own secret room.

 

He kept the secret room news to himself because he learned quite quickly not to trust his colleagues, even Craig. Every now and again when it was quiet he would disappear for an hour, just to spend some time alone. As things got increasingly tense and difficult with Steve, Zip had an idea. He knew there was a shower in the training department so just needed a bed. He walked down to the local Argos and bought himself an inflatable mattress and a sleeping bag, they weren’t expensive. Zip discretely took them up to his newfound digs and hid them in a locker, which fortunately still had a key in it, they were locked away and safe.

 

The following night, Zip was at work and had a small bag with him that had his toiletries, and fresh clothes. He’d had enough of Steve and was finishing work at 8pm, he was going to go into town and treat himself to a large lamb shish kebab with salad, chilli sauce and chips. It was his favourite. He was then going to sneak back in and lock himself away in his newfound penthouse.

 

Once he finished his dinner and crept into the police station and discreetly walked upstairs to the second floor. He created an area where he could blow up his new bed, he got his sleeping bag out and brushed his teeth in the kitchen sink. He turned the light off and put the TV on, a rerun of Morse was on ITV, and he settled down to relax. It felt odd and he could hear some movement coming from downstairs and as the police station was in the town there was quite a bit of traffic coming from outside.

In the morning, he awoke at 6am and locked his bed and sleeping bag away and made his way down to the gym. He had a couple of hours before work so took his time during his workout and then showered in the training area. Once dressed, he walked into the neighbourhood office, made a cup of coffee and began work. No commute, no parking issues and with a decent seven-hour sleep Zip was ready for the day. Craig was already in the office,

“Good morning, I parked near your car, it’s in the exact same spot as yesterday.”

“Hi Craig, yes, I got here early to go to the gym. I guess I was just lucky with the parking.”

Zip then made a mental note to move his car whenever staying at the station, he felt like he was being watched. Craig invited Zip out and tried to get him into golf and darts, but Zip just wasn’t interested. The thought of spending time at work and outside work was too overwhelming for him but appreciated Craig’s efforts.

 

Due to the first night at the police station being successful it became more regular, and Zip made the secret room more comfortable, it still wasn’t a typical home, but he made it bearable. After the end of his house share lease, he dropped a large amount of his belongings into his friend’s garage. The rest he bagged up and put in his boot of his car, he had decided to live rent free in the police station, he was so excited. He knew he would be in trouble if he was discovered, but he was a good officer and thought they’d just give him a warning and just tell him not to do it again.

 

Zip had transformed the room into a well equipped and comfortable living space and none of his new house mates (aka colleagues) knew he was there. He had the use of a kitchen, bedroom/living space, gym, shower room and work all in one place. All Zip had to do was keep quiet and make sure nobody found him. It was perfect (almost) and couldn’t believe nobody else had thought of it. It did take a while to get used to the noises through the night. There was the police radio always spewing out some gobbledygook and he could hear the rumble of laughter coming from the night shift. He thought he’d better not complain!

 

For six months the plan worked amazingly well, he was able to save a fortune. One night when Zip was in his sleeping bag trying to get to sleep, he could hear two people rush into the canteen area, next door to the kitchen. He couldn’t see who it was as the door between the kitchen and canteen was locked and secured. He could hear some whispering and then silence, Zip thought they had gone but then he could hear some moans and groans. He knew which rota was working and there were only two females on it, and one was married with children. Zip kept the news to himself, he couldn’t believe what went on at a police station, but he wasn’t one for gossip.

He’d befriended a few locals and would often pop out for a few beers after work. On one occasion he met a young Bulgarian woman whilst out one evening. Her name was Olga, and she was homeless, she sold the big issue outside of the Ashley Shopping Centre to make some money. She was beautiful and had big brown eyes, long dark hair and a kind shyness that was addictive. Olga moved to the UK with her mother but unfortunately her mother died of cancer and Olga found herself alone.

As the weeks went by Zip and Olga got closer and closer, he began to fall in love and after a romantic night at an Italian restaurant he asked her if she wanted to move in with him. She was currently sleeping in a hostel which was awful but at least she wasn’t on a park bench.

 

Olga was delighted with his offer and in her broken English she said that she would look after him. Zip tried to explain to her where he lived.

“Olga, I live in a small place. It’s in a strange location and we have to be quiet. Nobody is allowed to know we are there. But we will be together and have our own space. I’ll even get you a dressing table.”

 

“Zip, my English is not great, I’m not sure I understand. Why do we have to be so quiet? What will happen if somebody finds us?

 

“Olga, you don’t have to worry. I’ve lived there for six months, it’s fine. We’ll have a wonderful time. We’ll move you in tomorrow. In the morning make sure you bring all of your clothes because you won’t be going back to the hostel.”

 

A stunned and confused Olga agreed, and Zip kissed her good night. The following day after Zip finished his shift, he walked into town and met with Olga, they had a meal out, bought some food for the fridge and sneaked into the police station around 10:30pm when it was quieter. Olga was shepherded into the secret room and Zip locked the door, so they were safe. Zip was really excited to have another person with him in his lair for the first time. He showed Olga around and showed her the shower room and informed her to not leave without him. Olga was really nervous at first and had never been inside a police station before, she was shaking a little, but Zip reassured her and held her hand. He told her about Craig and how he felt oppressed by the attention he received, Zip knew that if anyone was going to catch them it would be Craig.

 

Olga found it weird but also fun, plus she loved having her own safe space where she could finally relax, she hated the hostel and selling The Big Issue. On days when Zip wasn’t working, they would leave the police station early and go on visits to Canterbury, Brighton, Eastbourne and Dorset. They would stay in lovely hotels and dine out in fabulous restaurants. Zip was living rent free, so had plenty of spare cash. They toured the whole of the south and created some wonderful memories. They watched the restaurants and loved the buzz, Olga dreamt of running a café on the beach. Olga was a writer so on days when she was alone in the station, she would create new stories and sketch pictures to accompany them. She got into daytime TV so had plenty to keep her busy.

 

Around five months later, Olga discovered that she was pregnant. This was huge news for the unusual couple. They sat down and discussed what they should do, rent, buy a place or stay where they are. Zip had managed to save up a substantial amount of money, but they were feeling greedy so decided to stick it out for as long as they could.

 

Zip was finding his neighbourhood role a breeze and it fitted in well with his personal life. Olga had got so used to living their lifestyle she didn’t want to change; it was the first settled place she could call home for a long time. Olga had made it lovely and now the response officers were moved to Esher so by 10pm most nights the police station was empty until at least 6am. She had managed to adapt her sleep pattern to fit in with her lifestyle. One evening when Olga was alone, she heard someone walking down the second-floor corridor, she began worry and then the door handle started to move, someone was trying to get in. Olga panicked and went into the kitchen; she managed to hide in the unused storeroom and shut the door. Whoever it was gave up and left but Olga was so scarred, she began to cry. She called Zip on his mobile and he carefully left his office and went to see if she was alright. Zip comforted her, but had to go back downstairs to work, as he walked into the office, he noticed Craig looking at him. Zip began to think, does he know? Was Craig trying to catch us out?

 

Olga’s pregnancy went fairly smoothly; however Olga suffered from morning sickness, her hurling was loud like a foghorn, and they were worried it might be heard by the police officers working beneath their feet. They also had to sneak her out during the day for her hospital scans which was difficult. Zip was spotted with Olga once going down the stairs but managed to escape the interrogation by saying she was a victim of crime, and he had just taken her statement. It was a close call, but Olga found it hilarious, she liked the excitement.

“Oh my god Zip, that was so scary, I thought he was going to tell the Inspector, we almost got caught. My legs are shaking.”

Zip laughed and replied, “So did I, I thought we were done for. Lucky for us, he believed me. We need to be more careful.”

A little while later there was a rumour that the police station was haunted, it was the talk of the office. PC Beach had to stay late one night to complete a court file for the next day. He was the only one in the neighbourhood office and he heard a noise in the corridor; he looked out the office door and there was a white figure with a white gown on and a large white hat on their head. It moved as though it was floating and went upstairs. A scared and startled PC Beach composed himself and went upstairs to the second floor, but there was no one there. Luckily, PC Beach being part hippie, put it down to a ghost rather than a pregnant woman covered in a towel and dressing gown going upstairs to her home after a shower.

 

As time flew by it wasn’t long before the baby was due. Zip had increased their space by climbing into the loft above them which was huge. He knew that having a baby in the police station was going to be a challenge, so had prepared well for it. He had bought a Moses basket and some rugs and had moved their bedroom upstairs. Zip had cleared all of the cobwebs and dust, and Olga decorated it with her own pictures and some cleverly hung sheets to hide the bare wood and fixtures. They had a large step ladder to climb up which Zip had borrowed from the basement, the downstairs part of their accommodation was full of toys and bean bags. As Olga got bigger, she stayed downstairs as she didn’t want to have an accident climbing a ladder.

 

When the day came for the baby to arrive, they had been staying in a hotel, so Zip took hem to the hospital. They had a lovely baby girl they named Poppy, and she was perfect. The sweetest little gift from the heavens and she was beautiful. They eventually got back to their home late at night and settled in for their first night in the police station with their baby. They were well aware of the bizarre situation they had created for themselves, but at that moment they didn’t care, they just needed to make sure that they kept the noise down and remained unseen. They were just pleased they were together and now they were a family.

 

One day whilst Zip was downstairs at work there was a discussion about a move. Zip came in and heard Craig,

“Yeah, the building has now been sold, and the neighbourhood team is moving to the Town Hall.”

Zip was shocked and said, “What do you mean sold? You can’t just get rid of a police station. This is crazy.”

The Inspector joined in and said, “I know some of you have been here a longtime, but it was never Surrey Police’s building. The Met have sold it, and CID and Property are going to Reigate, NST are going to the Town Hall and in just over one month the contractors will be here to board up all of the windows and doors. The boss will send out more details next week.”

Craig pipped up and said with a smirk on his face,

“Is that going to be a problem for you Zip?”

Zip’s mind was racing. Does this guy know?

“No Craig, I’m sure it will work out fine. The ghost will be lonely though.”

 

Zip couldn’t believe what he was hearing, but he knew there was no point in arguing because the decision had already been made. After his shift he sneaked upstairs to his family and gave them the news. Olga was upset because she had learnt to love her home but knew that eventually it would come to an end. It could have been worse; they might have been found out and Zip could have been fired.

 

They made good use of their time and found a two-bedroom apartment in Leatherhead. Once they had moved in, they realised how nice it was not having to sneak around and hide. They actually had neighbours that they could talk to and socialise with. Olga made a wonderful job decorating and making it a lovely home for them. Within a few months, Olga was pregnant again and they knew that within a few years that would have to find a bigger home. Zip had managed to save up a decent amount for a deposit for their own house next time. However, that never happened.

 

Zip was desperate to visit his parents in Kos and introduce Olga and Poppy, he was so proud of them. When they flew over, they fell in love with the place, and they didn’t want to leave. Zip spoke with his parents and decided he wanted to leave England and get to know his roots. Zip surprised Olga when they went out for a walk along the beach. They stopped at a bar for a drink and Zip dropped his surprise on her.

“Do you like it here Olga?”

“Yes darling, I love Kos, it’s so beautiful and your parents are great with Poppy.”

“That’s not what I meant Olga. Do you like it here? The bar.”

“Yes of course, it’s lovely with a great view.”

“It’s ours. I bought the bar and the apartment on top. We’re going to stay, I’ve handed my notice in and I’m leaving the police. We’re going to live and work in the same place and this time we won’t need to hide.”

Olga began to cry; she grabbed Zip and held him tight.

“Oh my gosh, this is amazing, I love you so much.”

 

From what seemed like a very short solution, it eventually stretched to two and a half years in a makeshift home on the second floor of a working police station. It was crazy that the people who are paid to be vigilant missed such a crazy setup right under their noses. Zip will never forget the humble beginnings of the life of a squatter and what it created for him. He’d never had a long-term relationship until he met his beloved Olga. It was a story that would be recounted to generations to their family in Kos.

One of his first customers at his new bar was Craig. He’d heard through the grapevine about Zip’s move and wanted to surprise him. Zip couldn’t believe his eyes, they hugged, and Craig gave him a bottle of Epsom salts.

Olga poured them two large glasses of cold beer, and the two men sat outside watching the sun set. Zip felt it was the right time to tell Craig his story. As Zip began his wild tale, Craig stopped him and said,

“I knew Zip, I always knew. I was wondering when you would tell me!

I’m glad you made it. You and the ghost of Epsom Police Station deserve it.”

The men laughed and drunk their pints.

 

The End.