Browsing Humour Stories

The night to end all nights.

Donut Trumpet has only one wish: to be king!

Ted’s Shorts – and no, before you ask, this has nothing to do with my choice of summer wardrobe, although I am partial to a comfy pair in the summer, nor is it a reference to my modest height of 5’6” when standing proudly in socks. Instead, within these pages you’ll find a collection of twenty-one short stories – my “shorts” of a rather more literary kind. 

Linda hears her name called in her darkened bedroom. As she struggles to keep her grip on reality, she soon finds that she's in for a big surprise.

Jimmy is a young lad of seven years is trapped in the big city way of life. You see, Jimmy's life is going to school and coming home alone to a small two bedroom apartment with three locks on the front door. His parents are caught up in building their careers and the race to get ahead. But they have installed in Jimmy the idea that if the family lived in the country life would be very different. But to Jimmy as he lays in bed to go a sleep... country life...well IT WAS JUST A DREAM and the hope of playing baseball are in the country..not the big city.

This is my rant against the present hiring process present in today's world. It is my therapy to wholeness and healing. A tale set some where in the Texas hill country in some small town. Hopefully this entertains you,the reader as I attack Ageism, ghosting, and just plain being dropped. Where is old school honesty and positive feedback?

Despite Maggie's pleas to call in a professional, Ted remains determined; DIT is his Everest, his life challenge. What could possibly go wrong?

So, a depressed teenager, a witch, a half-human half-fae, and a bored prodigy walk into a haunted house...

Peep, the silly little sheep, absolutely loves her friends on the farm. They stick together like best pals! “Boo!” Peep giggles, playfully startling her mischief-makers. “Time to wake up!” she cheerfully calls out. Duck chimes in with a happy “Quack, Quack!” Cow stretches and greets the day with a big, friendly MOO. And Pig, with a playful snort, adds, “Time to eat! Oink, Oink!”

As the sun rises over the horizon, casting a warm golden light across the farm, the four friends dive into a world full of adventures on another delightful day on the farm. Each day unfolds like a new chapter, filled with laughter, playful antics, and the simple joys of their enchanting rural life.

While Mr. Farmer is elsewhere on the farm, plowing the field and planting corn. After eating their breakfast of clover, hay, grains, and vegetables. It's time to play hide and seek. Pig, Cow, and Duck take turns being it. Pig with a wiggle and hop decides to sit in the mud puddle with a Plop! Beside the stone rubble, as happy as can be, is the happiest Pig for all to see. Peep with her fluffy fleece would hide among the puffy clouds of freshly shorn wool piled in the barn. She nestled deep in the fluffy, puffy wool for a barnyard hide and seek. Peep whispers, No one will find me in this game, no one will whisper out my name . I have the best hiding spot deep within the wool. So warm soft, peaceful and cozy. So comforting and safe this is the best hiding place.

They just love playing on the farm. The others, with a playful look, use the big, round, golden hay bales as a hiding nook. All stacked and tightly bound they make perfect hay mounds. Stacked so high like mountains in the sky, a perfect place to play on a warm sunny day. All was quiet. Peep hears a squeak, EEK! shouts Peep. Duck heard Peep. She waddles to the puffy wool and shouts, I FOUND PEEP! You're it! Duck points and laughs at Peep. A mouse sat perched upon her head. Duck wants to feed it some of her cornbread. Mouse then scampered down Peep's leg and snatched the cornbread. With paws so quick, he stole the treat then scurried away. The mouse all pleased with his prize, left a trail of crumbs before their eyes as he nibbled and scurried in a dash to find a hidden secret place to eat his stash. He hid in the fluffy, puffy wool so deep. A small little hero did quietly creep with whiskers so bright, and a happy face, he found his joy in this cozy fluffy place with his cornbread delight. a treasure so grand is the happiest mouse in all the land.

Duck got the others to play in the big metal trough besides the hay . Peep the silly little sheep dips her nose in the water to blow a bubbly stream. She blew and blew a bubbly, happy sheepish dream. The water churned with foam from the bubbly fun till every single bubble was done. A mud-caked Pig ran from his pen with a snort and a wail and a frantic dash, making a monumental splash, into the trough with a loud kerplunk he sat there with a satisfied smirk. For all to see a happy little piggy fat and pink had landed in the trough and didn't even blink. Cow makes waves, swiveling her head from side to side, causing the water to splash down the side. While water cascades down her whiskered chin, the little kitten now lets a purr begin. Water dripping on her pink little nose into splashing puddles where she playfully goes. With a quick pounce, she gives chase to every single droplet all over the place. Sitting on a bale of hay, Duck decides just to watch her friends play.

Cow, Pig, and Duck would spend their day climbing, bouncing, and tumbling down the new bales of hay that had just arrived in the pasture that day. They would tumble down with a joyous sound, the finest fun they had ever found. They would race each other across the fields with Peep using her quick, tiny steps to outpace her long-legged friend Cow. With Duck on Peep's fluffy back, she took a fun ride. She gave a Quack, Quack, and never looked back.

They would start a small club using sticks and rocks in the yard to construct a secret clubhouse near the chicken coop, where the chickens can snoop. A small house made to stay and play. The chickens would cluck, cluck, cluck as they ran around to play. Flapping their wings and finding tasty treats like scattered corn on the ground is what they like to eat.

During a hot afternoon, spent in the gleaming sun, A small dam of pebbles and twigs has begun. They worked in the stream to create a cold sandy pool , a perfect escape from the suns rule. A cold refreshing haven in the sand. Oh, so grand.

OH NO, Cow lost her copper bell that hung from her neck on a leather-worn collar. It would make a clunkity sound with her every step on the ground. She loved her bell. Cow mumbles I am feeling unwell. We must find my bell. It would let Mr. Farmer know where she was at all times. “We need to find it!” Peep rallied with a determined grin to join the search, so let's begin. Pig gave a snort and a grunt of delight. My nose will find clues both by day and by night. With this mission so clear the four friends set off with nothing to fear. We can do it, you see, the team worked as one, as happy as can be.

Let's look by the white birch tree. Cow was lying there rolling around on the ground with a rumbling sound, The eager searchers knew her need, A promise they had made to heed. Knowing how much Cow needed their aid, A rescue plan was quickly made. Cow felt lost and frightened and very much afraid. Lost without the comforting sound that kept her safe—the delightful clunkity, clunkity of her bell. She hoped her friends would find it then all would be well.

The searching went high the searching went low. Cows' bell was missing. Where did it go? Duck waddled over, quacking softly to let her companions know. Don't worry for together my friends we will find it, I just know. With a flap of her tail feathers, she was on her way as she brushed through the brambles and crossed a small stream on that sunny day.

Duck was happily paddling along the stream when she spotted Cow's leather collar. It seemed like a dream. The stream had carried Cow's bell away, hiding it under a tangle of roots. We must uproot the tangled roots, Quacked Duck in dismay. We must be brave and act quickly and help save this day!

Peep had a bright idea! A plan to set in motion. With some teamwork, she gathered her friends Cow, Duck and Pig to help retrieve the collar that drifted so far. Working together side by side. We'll get the collar from the stream her voice full of glee, you just wait and see. They were excited to join forces and see what they could do! Cow shows off her amazing strength while graceful Duck swims with ease. Peep is always up to something clever, and Pig has such a joyful love for playing in the mud! All these wonderful traits, as your talents show will rise up like a bright sun ray to put on a brilliant show.

Cow, using a strong vine that Peep had found, gave it to Duck to tie around the entangled muck. Pig helped Duck so she wouldn't get stuck . Peep would use a stick to push and pry at the tangled mess, breaking away some roots and loosening the rest. Once the roots were free, Cow would give one mighty final tug and the collar was free. With a lift and a boost and a pull and a shout the collar and bell were theirs without any doubt. The combined efforts of everyone ensured the task would get done. Peep yelled, " Yay! for everyone. Duck takes a deep breath and puffed out her chest, she took the collar and paddles away. Upon reaching the bank they gave a great shout, and all cheered together so no one felt left out . Gentle Cow bent down so Peep could fit the collar round her head. With the collar placed around Cows neck .A simple act a loving deed to show their care and meet their need. With a warm heart and a peaceful Moo, Cow nuzzled all her friends. its true. With pure delight, she settled down with happy sighs. Under the sunlit sky, on the soft green grass a happy heap of friends rests together at last,

On their way home, Peep broke out in song. We did it. We did it. Look at our happy dancing feet. We found Cow's collar and bell. A victory so sweet! We helped each other side by side, clever little tricks, no glue could fix. We did it, We did it.

Once at home, as the day ends, they would chase and admire the glowing fireflies watching their twilight play and magical dance in the shimmering light. A lovely glow in the night.

Once settled in the barn, they would listen close for all the different noises and sounds all around They'd try to identify each one they had found. Such as the hoot of an owl a sound so clear or the croak of a frog for all to hear.

Story time at night is always fun. A quiet moment till the dimming light day is done. Gathered in a circle, telling tales and sharing secrets till sleep crept in .The whispers became few, and soon there was none. Ready for sleep ,they would snuggle up together in a big pile of straw, listening to a sweet lullaby sung by Peep .A promise of slumber a secret to keep. While a soft evening breeze drifts them to sleep. Hush now, close your eyes, underneath the shimmering moonlit sky. Rest your head on the soft, fluffy fleece and fall to sleep to find your peace. It wraps you in warmth and comfort, a cozy nest you will forever love it, inviting you into a world of dreams.

Imagine dandelions, with delicate seeds dancing in the breeze, gathered all around you, like tiny stars scattered across a green meadow. Snuggle in closer; you are safe, and worries fade away. Sweet dreams are waiting just for you, so let the calming night help you. So close your eyes without a sound, drift away and let sleep wrap you in its peaceful embrace. Good night, all, and sleep well, for tomorrow is another day to play. As they all drifted off until the next day.