A Rough Guide to a Melancholy World

The Curious Garden 

There was a mystery at the end of Ruby and Ryan’s garden. They moved into the old house around five years ago. The house was on the edge of a village called Southwater. The garden was a mess; the previous owners had moved to the island of Malta to enjoy their retirement in the sun and the house sat empty for over a year. It doesn’t take long for nature to take over and rule again, it looked like a rainforest.

Ryan had a full-time job and wasn’t the keenest of gardeners. However, whenever he had time, he would cut down and clear small areas. Week after week he would make sure the brown waste bin was full for the council to take away. Gradually after several months he had a decent lawn and could almost see the end of his garden. 

He continued for around an hour or two a week and eventually made it to the huge oak tree at the bottom of his garden. There was a strange ridge that raised up by a metre just by the tree, and a black cat sat watching him like prey. After Ryan had cleared the rest of the brambles and unwanted bushes he had a well-deserved rest. 

The next day Ryan and Ruby walked down to the end of the garden and surveyed the work completed by Ryan and tried to work out a plan on what to do with the space. They looked over the ridge to the neighbouring garden and could just see trees and shrubs and assumed it led to a house that they couldn’t see. 

They carried on with life, work, shopping, cooking and completing their garden. Now the grunt of the work was done, Ruby was now interested in gardening. She had made plans to have a beautiful rose garden, climbing plants and a vegetable patch. Ruby was down the garden centre regularly, looking at fibreglass ponds and expensive statues. It was good fun and Ryan and Ruby were enjoying working together on their project. 

Around six months later, the garden was looking good. The couple were happy with how it was looking; they just had one nagging little question. 

“Who is our neighbour?”

At the end of their garden lay no fence, no clear boundary, other than a huge oak tree and a metre high ridge. They spoke about what they should do and whether to put up a wooden fence. They looked at the deeds but couldn’t figure out their boundary. They were curious and wanted to find out.

They had made their minds up to be brave and walked to the end of their garden; they scaled the metre high ridge and walked through the thick undergrowth looking for their neighbour's house. They just wanted to be polite and say hello and clarify their boundaries. It felt like they were being nosy, but they couldn’t help themselves. They walked and walked until they came to an outhouse, they had a look around, but the roof had fallen in and the whole place was full of dust and dirt. It was a bit spooky, and they could hear a noise in the back. Suddenly a fox slipped out a hole in the side of the building and disappeared into the long swaying grass like a spy evading its enemy.

After that little shock, they continued on and could see the back of a house, they began to feel really nervous, they held each other’s hands. There was no movement, just a dark dingy house coming into sight. The windows were dirty, and there were no lights on, it was deathly silent. 

Ruby and Ryan stopped and looked at each other. Ryan said,

“This is really odd Ruby, it looks like nobody’s been here for years.”

“I know Ryan, I don’t like it. Even if someone were to live there, how would they survive? Are we still going to knock?”

Ryan took a moment and said, 

“Oh my gosh, I’m not sure. 

I suppose we’re here now, might as well give a little knock.”

They strove forward, the house looked like it was ready to collapse. It was two storeys, made from wood, and had a large porch with an old rocking chair on it. There were cobwebs hanging from the ceiling and creepy crawlers scattering around. It resembled a Halloween party without the fake ghosts hanging around. 

They walked up the creaky steps and stared at the dark coloured wooden door.

Bang, bang, bang.

It echoed through the night.

Bang, bang, bang.

Nothing. No reply, no noises could be heard through the large door. Absolutely nothing.

They looked at each other like two frightened teenagers. 

“Ruby, should we knock again?”

“I don’t know Ryan. I don’t think anyone is home.”

Just then, they heard a lock being opened from behind the door, it sounded rusty and crunched like a piece of toast. They could smell something which resembled a butcher's shop. It had a strange, weird metallic smell. The door then creaked open and a tall man stood there. He looked in his sixties, over six foot, he had grey receding hair which was shoulder length, and he wore a long white coat, resembling a mad scientist.

“Yeeeesssssss, can I help you?” The stranger said.

“Hello Sir, we’re your neighbours from the house which backs onto your garden, and we just wanted to introduce ourselves and say hi, said a startled Ruby.

“Weeeeeelllllllll, welcome to the area, I hope you like Little Darkness. It is a lovely village; however, it’s a shame the shop closed down. The pub is still open though. 

What’s your names?”

Ryan stepped forward and said, 

“I’m Ryan and this is my wife, Ruby. We’re from Southwater, I’ve never heard of Little Darkness. What is your name?”

“I am Sir Stewart Sludge; I have lived here for an awfully long time. 

Southwater you say. That’s about four miles from here; you haven’t moved far.”

“No Sir, we currently live in Southwater. We’ve walked to your house from our back garden which backs onto your garden. We haven’t walked four miles; we probably walked for around ten minutes.” Said Ruby.

“That’s incredible, but by road it’s around four miles away, it must be the way the route works out, they did close Cock Lane a number of years ago, that would have made it closer.” Said the Knight of the Realm.

They continued their conversation for a few more minutes, but Ruby and Ryan were not invited in. Instead, they were invited to walk to the front of his house and see the village of Little Darkness.

As they strolled forward feeling a little better that they had met their peculiar neighbour, they also felt confused that they could be in walking distance of a village they had never heard of. They tried to Google it, but they were out of range and couldn’t connect to the internet. When they got past their neighbours' vintage car and overgrown driveway, they came out onto a road with no paths, it was overhanging with ancient trees.

They looked up and down and saw entrances to a number of driveways and in the distance, they saw the pub, it was lit up and on a hill around four hundred metres away. They decided not to venture too far that night but remembered they had forgot to ask Sir Stewart about the boundaries of his property. They then proceeded to walk home and thought they’d tackle that another day, they had satisfied their curiosity for one night. 

Ryan and Ruby went home and carried on with their lives but still had the curiosity in their heads. The following weekend they decided to sit down and do some research on Sir Stewart and Little Darkness. They bought a bottle of wine and sat down with Ruby’s laptop at the dining table. Ruby logged in and fired up Google and searched Little Darkness.

The results were unusual. One post said that Little Darkness was mentioned in the Doomsday Book, and the Manor House was owned by the Sludge family. The Sludge’s were owners of the arable land and in the 1700’s ran a factory making a type of corned beef. They were big employers and used the river systems to transport it to various cities in the south of the UK.

It appeared that Sir Sludge aka, Lord Sludge was a hereditary title passed down through the generations. After all of these years it appeared that the Sludge dynasty had come to an end and Stewart was the last of a long line of entitled toffs. There was limited information about Little Darkness, and they couldn’t find any details about the pub in the village.

There was only one thing for it. Another venture into the wilds and back to Little Darkness. They decided to go the following Friday. They made sure they knew what they wanted to say to Stewart, they put their walking boots and big coats on and set off.

They walked the ten minutes to Stewart’s house and knocked at the door. Sir Stewart answered and invited himself to the pub with them. Ryan and Ruby were a little surprised but thought they could kill two birds with one stone. They spoke about the gardens and the Sludge family history. Stewart was a little flippant with his family’s past. He said there were some old photos and portraits in the house, but he had most of them covered up with blankets in a spare bedroom.

They walked up the hill to the pub which was called The Old Inn. It was an old building with wood beams and had a Georgian style to it, unfortunately, it hadn’t been well maintained, and it needed a good makeover. It fitted in with the rest of the village, a forgotten era, it was like stepping back in time.

Stewart opened the large dark brown wooden door for them, and Ruby held back to let Ryan enter first. As he was about to take his first step in, he noticed a sign above his head which read “mind the step”. It was duly noted by Ryan, and he automatically raised his foot to take the step in his stride, however, there was nothing for his foot to connect with and as his body weight lurched forward, he found himself hurtling forward down the step onto the stone floor. Fortunately, he managed to stay upright, but it was quite an entrance. With the sign above his head, it distracted him from looking ahead at the step which actually descended.

After surviving that horrendous moment he tried to style it out until he got to the bar. There were no fancy brass trays adorning the bar, just some damp bar towels and an ashtray of peanuts. As Ryan turned around, he could see Stewart and Ruby stifling their laughs at his near disaster. They ordered three pints of Best from the unfriendly Landlord and sat down in the corner near the fireplace. There were only six others in the pub, they were all older men wearing flat caps, they were talking between themselves, and they were all drinking from pint jugs. They all turned around and said “hello Sir” to Stewart.

 It felt like a scene from the sixties; it was old fashioned, unexciting, and smelt of stale cigarette smoke. There was no music, and an old dog was curled up on a chair near the bar, it looked like it had been there for decades.

Stewart said,

“What do you think of The Old Inn? It’s quite a place. They’ve been thinking about redecorating but the locals like it the way it is.

There’s old Jack in the brown shirt; he used to work for me. He was a foreman, a good worker, great with numbers.”

Ruby looked around the bar, whilst slurping on her pint, she replied,

“Did the other guys work for you? What was it you did?”

Stewart replied,

“Weeeeell Ruby, I have done many things, but the guys in here all worked in my factory, until it was closed down. The demand for our product had dissipated over time and the debts built up, soooooo, I closed it down and demolished the building.

We made corned beef, a more luxury version than the usual ones you see on the shelves. However, with a recession, and other reasons, weeee couldn’t afford to keep going.”

Ryan looked sympathetic and said,

“What a shame, do the guys still live in the village?”

“Yeeeeessss of course Ryan. They all live in my cottages on my land. I told them, they can live there for as long as they want, as long as they pay the peppercorn rent, which is £1 a week. I think that’s fairly reasonable.”

Ruby replied,

“Wow, that’s incredibly generous.

They then spoke about the property boundaries and Stewart confirmed what Ryan and Ruby had suspected. It was an interesting evening for the couple, but they still thought that there was more to learn about the village. It looked like the only reason for its existence was the factory, and when that died so did the village. It’s almost cut off from society and strangely backs onto a thriving village.

On their walk back Stewart asked them if they wanted to come in for a night cap. Ruby was a little nervous and didn’t want to, but it would have been rude to decline the kind offer, so accepted.

When they got back to the house, they followed Stewart up the steps to the large front door, he put his key in the lock and slowly opened the door. Ruby gave an anxious look to Ryan as the smell of ammonia hit them. Stewart didn’t acknowledge the smell and entered the house. Ryan was next and then Ruby made it into the large hallway.

It was dusty and there was a crystal chandelier hanging from the ceiling, cobwebs were draped around it and there was a huge, curved staircase dominating the room. There were four closed doors leading off it and Stewart led them into the room at the front of the house. He called it the drawing room and there was a small velvet fronted bar in the corner. Ryan and Ruby moved to the bar and Stewart poured three glasses of cherry Brandy.

The drawing room was fairly large but dark and had a damp smell to it. There were two dusty sofas facing each other and a leather topped writing desk in the corner. They stood at the bar and sipped their Brandy’s and Stewart asked them about their lives and what businesses they were in. They spoke for a while and then Ruby asked to use the toilet. Stewart by now was a little drunk and said there’s a toilet in the next room, through the hall. He said,

“Whatever you do, just open the door on the right, do not go into any other room.”

Ruby replied,

“Yes, no problem, I’ll just be a few minutes.”

A tipsy Ruby left the drawing room and entered the door on the left. The door creaked open, and she walked into the dining room. A huge oak table was laid out with glasses, cutlery and plates, but that wasn’t what freaked her out, it was the six smartly dressed skeletons perched around the table on high back oak dining chairs.

Ruby froze in her tracks. There were six dead people sat at a dining table waiting for their dinner. It was absolutely bizarre, she didn’t know what to do. Fear had given her temporary paralysis. Her hands began to shake, and she wanted to scream but couldn’t. So many things were going through Ruby’s head, had Stewart murdered these people? Who were they? Why were they smartly dressed sat at a dining table?

Suddenly she heard the door creaking behind her. It was Stewart,

“Helloooo dear, I see you’ve met the family.

Ryan, Ryan, come and join us.”

Ryan bundled his way into the room, still holding his brandy glass. He stopped in his tracks, and looked around the room, completely dumbfounded.

Stewart could sense the awkwardness and said,

“Please don’t worry, they’re all perfectly dead, they can’t harm you.”

“Stewart, what the heck is going on? Why oh why do you have six dead people sat at a dining table?” Asked Ruby.

“It’s not as odd as you think. You see, when you’re in the aristocracy you’re allowed to bury your own family in a mausoleum, however mine collapsed years ago. I kept them in the cellar after their deaths and brought them back to rejoin the family.”

“It’s bloody weird.” Said Ryan.

“I think it’s beautiful Ryan, we are a family again. We have conversations, albeit a little one sided, but it’s harmless. They would be delighted to know that they live on.”

“Well, erm, that’s great, yeah, it’s really nice. I’m surprised more people don’t do it.

Oh, is that the time? I think we better be off, we’ve got an early start tomorrow.”

Said Ruby.

Ryan and Ruby thanked their host and left the house. As they walked back through Stewart’s garden, they could see the huge oak tree that sits on their boarder. They walked as quickly as they could without making it look like they were scared. It was dark so Ryan got his phone out and turned the torch on.

Just as they got to the large oak, six men with flat caps appeared from various trees and bushes surrounding them. They were the same men from the pub, they suddenly realised they were in serious trouble. Ryan and Ruby stopped and looked at the men and demanded to be left alone, but they refused. The men were menacing and walked them back to the house. Ruby was pleading with the men, but they remained silent. Ryan put his phone in his pocket and dialled 999, in the hope that the police would hear the commotion. He couldn’t speak into the phone and just left it on. When they got back to the spooky house they were taken into the cellar.

Ruby and Ryan held hands, and Ruby began to cry. Ryan tried to comfort her but was petrified and didn’t know what to do. As they walked down the stairs the stench of old meat became stronger, it was disgusting. The couple were tied to chairs and the six men stood back against the damp grey walls. It was dark in the cellar, so they were unable to see anything. Ruby began to scream but she knew no one would be able to hear her. Ryan tried to reason with the men and even offered them money, but they never said a word.

A few minutes later the door to the cellar opened and a large man with a white face mask stood with a staff in his hand. He banged it twice on the floor and the six males put their white face masks on. The large man walked forward, Ryan and Ruby were squirming trying to break free, he banged his staff down and told them to stop. The six men began to murmur a type of prayer, and the large man announced,

“Weeeee have new guests for our upcoming dinner party.”

Ryan and Ruby could tell it was Stewart, and begged him to let them go, they promised they wouldn’t tell anyone. They were completely ignored; Stewart raised his staff in the air, and announced,

“It’s time to begin their journey into a world of peace. Darkness, I bring you new guests to remain and live with us for eternity. It’s time to harvest the organs.”

A tray was wheeled over to Stewart; it clattered loudly on its short journey. It had various surgical instruments placed on it. Ryan began to kick out and create as much disturbance as he could, he wanted to delay whatever was coming next.

Suddenly there was a loud bang from upstairs, and they could hear shouting and footsteps above their heads. Ryan and Ruby began screaming for help as loudly as they could. Stewart knew the gig was up and wanted to silence the witnesses. He raised the staff high above his head and just as he was about to bring it down on Ryan’s head, a massive bang echoed through the cellar. Stewart had been shot in the back; he collapsed to the ground before he could make the fatal blow.

It was the police; they had arrived in the nick of time. Four officers stormed into the cellar; they were like a lightning bolt; they were wearing black uniforms and were all carrying guns which were now pointing at the other masked men. The men were taken to the floor and handcuffed to the rear. Ryan and Ruby were saved from a bizarre ritual murder. They were released from their restraints and hugged each other tightly, the relief was palpable.

The village of Little Darkness was destroyed over the following months, the houses, pub, outhouses and garages were all levelled and returned to farmland. The cannibal sect had been destroyed, and all evidence of their evil existence was extinguished from history. The invisible aristocracy rituals that caused fear for years as myths and legends was over.

The only road into the village was blocked and the road signs were taken down.

Ryan and Ruby decided to stay at their home but erected a large wooden fence at the back of their garden. They continued to make their home and garden beautiful, and they eventually became parents. They also adopted a stray black cat who hung around looking for attention, they called it Lord.

Their curiosity for the mysterious had been well and truly satisfied.

The End.