A Rough Guide to a Melancholy World

Where’s my Angel?

Remo was his middle name; after his great grandfather, Remo Enzo Maldini. He used it instead of first name, Timothy. He hated that name, he thought it sounded a bit soft. Remo sounded more interesting, plus it was Italian, so it sounded kinda cool. He had an easygoing nature and didn’t push himself too hard. 

Remo worked in a high school as the janitor supervisor. It was an old-style secondary school with tunnels below connecting the separate buildings. It was used as a hospital in World War II and was full of memories and stories that lay in the walls. Sometimes he would go down to the basement and investigate the tunnels, but they smelt a bit damp, and he didn’t want to run into any rats. They were also used as air raid shelters during the Blitz.

He didn’t really enjoy his work, but the money was okay, and it was local. Most of the day he avoided the children as they were loud and obnoxious, they were like a washing machine on full spin, they had far too much energy. Remo thought that the staff were too soft on the pupils, and they got away with murder. His duties would include fixing anything broken, changing light bulbs, taking in deliveries, and picking up after the feral kids who thought a ten metre walk to the bin was beyond them. Whatever litter Remo’s team missed the flying rats would glide down and scavenge.

Remo was in his early thirties and had never had a proper long-term relationship. He’d been out with a few girls, but they always left him for someone more ambitious. Girls were physically attracted to him, but who wanted to be married to a janitor?

He lived on his own in a small, rented apartment in town above a barbershop. It was a tiny flat with a bedroom, bathroom, and a living room with a small kitchen area in the corner, if you can call a kitchen, a sink, small fridge, kettle, microwave, and a toaster. Remo would usually eat a hot meal at school, so in the evenings he would have baked beans on toast, microwaved curry, or a Pot Noodle, he was living the life of a drifter. He never entertained so, it was manageable.

Remo would sometimes walk to school and on the way home he would stop off at the park. There were a few benches and sometimes he just sat down and relaxed, watching the birds flying overhead and the dogs running around. He often thought about his past relationships and why they didn’t work out. Remo would contemplate how he could have done things differently because he was desperate to share his life with someone, he wanted to feel normal and wanted to be loved. He thought he had a lot to offer but at that moment he was like the spare tyre stuck firmly away in the boot.

One day after work he was relaxing on a wooden bench in a park watching a heron standing guard over a stream, ready to pounce on an unexpected fish. A young blonde woman in her late twenties and a man walked past and she smiled. Remo watched them and concluded that they were on a first or second date. Their body language was uncomfortable and a little unbalanced. They walked through a gate further down the path and Remo lost sight of them, but around fifteen minutes later they returned and walked back past Remo. This time he noticed the woman had a few tattoos and one in particular on the back of her upper right arm said, “Where’s my angel?” In dark green ink. It struck a chord within him; he tried to figure out what it meant. Was it a song lyric or a reference to a tragic past?

As she was around fifteen metres away, she looked back at Remo and smiled again. Remo felt instantly besotted, she looked beautiful, plus he had to know what the tattoo meant. He got up and followed them from a distance, he didn’t want it to look obvious, and this was massively out of character. He had no idea what he was going to do or say if he got the opportunity, but he was doing his best James Bond impression.

The couple walked into town and were casually window shopping, Remo noticed that the man was doing most of the talking. The lady looked bored and had clocked Remo following them. When they got to the clothes store Next, the man went in, and the woman stayed outside and lit up a cigarette. She looked so cool, she just lent back on the wall watching the world go by.

Remo was nervous as hell, he began to breathe heavily but for once in his life he wanted to take a chance. He’d always took the easy route and to walk away without talking to this woman would just be another failure. According to his mother, he was a good-looking guy, he just didn’t make the best of his features.

He started walking towards her, she watched as he got closer and took a drag of her cigarette. Remo looked her in the eye and said,

“Hey, you walked past me in the park, and I noticed your tattoo. ‘Where’s my angel? I’ve got to know, what does it mean?”

The woman laughed and said,

“Why do you want to know? Who are you?”

“My name is Remo, I don’t know why I need to know, I just do. What’s your name?”

The woman was intrigued and replied, “My name is Ronni. You’re going to have to work harder than that to know my secrets.”

Remo smiled at her, Ronni turned around to enter the shop and said,

“I volunteer at the food bank; you can find me there.”

Remo watched her walk away and then went home. He couldn’t stop thinking about Ronni, he loved her bleached blonde hair, her dark eyebrows, tiny frame and her attitude spilling from her aura. She reminded him of a rock chick from the eighties. Picture Sandy from the movie Grease in the last scene. However, there was also a feeling that she had been hurt in the past and was damaged.

Remo went back home and carried on with his mundane life. He would mull over what he should do as he wasn’t experienced in this type of chase. He knew where the food bank was and drove past it on a few occasions, he was just hoping to catch a glimpse of Ronni, but he never did. 

A few weeks later it was the school holidays and Remo had a lot of free time; he decided to pay the food bank a visit. He didn’t need any free food so went to the shop and bought some tinned soups, baked beans and pasta to donate. He didn’t want to go in empty handed and look a weirdo.

He paced outside for a few minutes to build his courage and then he entered through the double door of the church hall. It smelt like most church halls and had a few people filling up carrier bags with dry or canned goods. There was an elderly lady who greeted him, and he explained that he was there to donate food, which was very welcomed. He then asked the lady if there was a young woman there called Ronni. The lady said that Ronni was taking a break in the back, and she would return in a minute, he was told to wait, and she would let Ronni know he was waiting. He felt trapped, everyone was looking at him and he’d wished he’d put his clean trainers on.

Ronni walked in with confidence and an air of authority. She was following the older lady in and looked at Remo and said, 

“Hello, you’ve taken your time getting here mystery man. Follow me.”

Remo smiled and followed Ronni, who was wearing jeans and a hoody. Her hair was tied up and she had less makeup on; she looked pretty and natural. There was a kind of vulnerability about her, she had a confident aura but there was something in her eyes which was impuissant. 

They got outside into the car park and Ronni said,

“Well, you found me then. How are you Remo?”

Remo was nervous and replied, “I’m okay thanks. I don’t usually do this sort of thing, which is why it has taken me a while to get here.

So, Ronni how often do you come here?”

Ronni laughed and said, “That’s an old chat up line. I volunteer a few days a week, why are you so interested in me?”

Remo didn’t know what to say, he hesitated and eventually said, 

“I don’t know, I was just drawn to you and that tattoo you have, I really wanted to know what it means. Will you meet me after your shift finishes?

Ronni said, “I wouldn’t normally, but go on, meet me at the cafe around the corner in two hours, ok Remo?

“Yes, that’s great. See you in a few hours Ronni.”

A happy Remo walked away and tried to figure out what he wanted to say to her. He needed more of a reason than just the tattoo, Ronni will want him to show an interest in her and not just a sentence written on her arm. Remo was out of his depth, but he wanted to get to know her, he felt drawn to her, but didn’t want to come on too strong. 

Two hours later Remo was stood outside the café awaiting Ronni. She was a little late, but he didn’t mind, he was just pleased she’d turned up.

“Hi Ronni, you look lovely, I erm, like your………earrings”

It was the best he could muster in the two hours he had. He felt a right berk. Ronni smiled and said,

“Oh look, there’s a table by the window, let’s grab that before someone else gets there.”

Remo replied, “Okay, brilliant, I like a window seat. You can look out of the……. window.” He wanted to commit Harakiri. What was he talking about? He sounded like a gibbering idiot.

Ronni sat down and sarcastically said, “That’s a clever idea Remo. I will have a latte please.”

Remo got the hint and got up to buy the hot beverages. When he returned, they eventually had a proper conversation. Remo wanted to know if she was in a relationship, as he had seen her with a man, but she categorically denied it and said she was single. He asked her about the food bank and whether she had a paid job. Ronni told him that after a relationship breakdown she was just getting back on her feet and enjoyed volunteering. It gave her the opportunity to work with people and mingle with the public.

“Remo, you still haven’t told me why you wanted to meet me. Who are you Remo? I don’t owe you money, do I? Asked Ronni, whilst giggling.

Remo could tell she was a lot more experienced than he was. He wanted to open up to her, but he also wanted to play it cool.

“Well Ronni, what can I say, I saw you walking through the park, you caught my eye, and I thought, I need to talk to her, you look like an onion.”

“A startled Ronni jumped in, “An onion? You think I look like a bloody onion?”

“No Ronni, that’s not what I meant, I was trying to say that you look like a woman with plenty of layers, you look interesting. I don’t want to peel and cook you; I’m not a cannibal.”

Remo had spent five minutes with this woman and had just reassured her that he wasn’t a cannibal. This was not going well, he had to up his game and impress her.

With a confused look on Ronni’s face, Remo carried on with his master class in chat up theory.

“I don’t want to eat you, however I’m sure you would taste lovely,” Ronni laughed. Remo continued,

“I work at the local secondary school in the maintenance department. It’s okay but I have plans for promotion or to move to the local hospital where it’s bigger with more career opportunities. I’ve been there for around ten years, so I’m experienced, I just need to motivate myself.”

Ronni actually looked impressed and said, “Good for you, but you haven’t answered my original question?”

Remo was feeling a little more comfortable and replied,

“I’m fairly confident you don’t owe me money.” He laughed. “I saw you in the park and you intrigued me. I thought you looked beautiful and then I saw your tattoo. Do you have other tattoos?”

“Yes Remo, I have plenty.” With that, she rolled up her sleeve and showed off a tattoo of a box on her forearm.

“Have you heard of the band the 1975? I’m a big fan.”

Remo had heard of them, an ex-girlfriend of his used to listen to them. From what he knew, the box tattoo was a song about a girl committing suicide. He tried to look at the inside of Ronni’s forearm for self inflicted cuts, but it was at the wrong angle.

“Yes, I have heard of the 1975, they’re Emo, aren’t they?

Ronni replied, “I’m impressed Remo, I didn’t think you’d be familiar. You are like an onion!” Ronni laughed at her own quick wit.

The back and forth went on for over an hour. After the initial awkwardness they got on really well. They joked around, told stories and agreed to meet again.

After a few dates, they had become a couple. Remo knew he had only scratched the surface with Ronni but figured out that he had all the time in the world to discover the rest.

They had a similar sense of humour and used to fool around all of the time. Remo noticed that he had to keep Ronni amused and busy otherwise she would become quiet and depressed. They would do silly things like draw around each other with chalk on the floor, creating scenes of crimes. They found it hilarious, especially when they did it in children’s playgrounds and skate parks.

Ronni had the privilege of being invited into Remo’s flat and helped him declutter it and make it more hospitable and less of a kidnapper’s lair. Ronni didn’t judge him for his messiness and lack of interior design skills. She just got stuck in and helped out where she could. She was just what Remo needed. Ronni was staying short term in a female only hostel, she had experienced a tough time, but didn’t like talking about it.

Occasionally, they would go out to dinner and pretend it was one of their birthdays to get a free desert and on the odd occasion, Remo would get down on one knee and pretend to propose to Ronni, and they would always get a free bottle of fizz. It was just harmless fun and they would find it hilarious. Once, without Remo knowing it, Ronni declined his invitation to marry, in front of a packed Italian restaurant. It was a beautiful old restaurant with historic pictures of the owners family on the walls. Poor Remo didn’t know what to do, so just sat back down in his seat whilst Ronni ran to the toilet. The whole restaurant stared at him, he felt so awkward and helpless. Then a minute later, Ronni leapt out of the bathroom with tears in her eyes and dramatically ask Remo to propose again. A clueless Remo, got down on one knee and asked the question again, this time she said yes, and leapt into his arms and the whole restaurant, staff, chefs and customers were on their feet applauding, like Italy had just won the World Cup. That evening, they got their dinner for free. It was typical Ronni, an attention seeking, wonderful, drama queen.

The fun didn’t stop there. When they went to the local theme park, Ronni would fake being disabled, so they would go straight to the front of the massive queues. Also, Ronni had the luxury of being pushed around in a wheelchair. She would really make the most of it, with noises and random hand movements. They enjoyed their own fun; however, it wasn’t subtle or classy.

They enjoyed being busy and wanted to try new experiences. Their next project was a peculiar one. After seeing an advert on X asking for a manager for a local under 11’s football team, they thought they’d give it a go. They applied for the role and didn’t think they’d hear anything back, but the club, Chaffinch FC, offered them the voluntary role. This was mainly due to the fact that they were the only applicants.

It started off badly with an 8-0 loss, then after some training and shooting practice, they lost 12-0. Ronni fell out with a few of the parents as they were moaning about the results. However, Ronni stood her ground and told them that they could’ve applied for the role but didn’t. She took revenge by jamming oranges into their car’s exhaust pipes whilst the game was going on. She was not a woman who took criticism well.

By Christmas the team were bottom of the league table, having lost ten, winning none and had conceded 162 goals. They were so bad that the TV show, The Best Worst Team, presented by Gary Neville wanted to come and interview them, but the club refused. It wasn’t long before the local press was coming to their games to report on the horror show. A short while later Remo and Ronni were relieved of their duties, in the front door and booted out the back door.

After a rollercoaster of a relationship, they decided to move in together. They stayed in the same town; they just moved into a bigger one-bedroom apartment nearer the town centre. Ronni oversaw the home décor, and she made it cosy and comfortable, and they both loved it. There was also a small garden which Ronni loved to relax in and nurture the plants she had grown from seeds.

They bought two BMXs to ride about on and made ramps out of broken pallets. Then they tried Parkour, and running around and jumping over obstacles was great fun until Ronni fell into a skip and sprained her ankle. They had to take it easy for a few weeks and Ronni became quiet and withdrawn.

It was during this period that the male who accompanied Ronni in the park just turned up. His name was Vinny; he was her sponsor. Ronni was a recovering addict, she was addicted to anything which gave her a rush, alcohol, drugs, gambling, and adrenaline. She was always looking for a hit and during the last few months, Remo was her drug of choice. He provided her with excitement and enthusiasm to try new things, he didn’t care if he looked stupid, he just wanted to have fun and laugh.

After Vinny met up with Ronni for his private meetings, he took Remo out for a coffee. He didn’t want to tell Remo everything as that was not his job, he just wanted to let Remo know that there would be many ups and downs with Ronni. Vinny gave Remo some tips on how to handle the mood swings, he also explained about his past addictions and how he beat them. Remo was stunned by the revelation and wasn’t sure if he was mature enough to cope with the situation.

He knew one thing; he was not going to give up on her. If Ronni wanted to be with him, he would be there for her. He wanted to look after her, she was the first person he’d properly fallen in love with. He was addicted to her.

Once Ronni was mobile and her ankle had healed, they continued to do silly things and were always trying to outdo each other. Ronni joined a trampolining club at the local leisure centre. She fell in love with the twists and turns and the heights she could get to was ridiculous. She didn’t care, the bigger the risk, the bigger the thrill. It was perfect for her and for the moment she was satisfied.

Ronni had also found full-time work in a café at the local garden centre. Not exactly a stunt man or a racing driver but she enjoyed it. She liked her colleagues and serving the public was great for her self esteem. She loved the idol chats about the weather and the specials on the menu. It was something she hadn’t experienced before, and it felt like a performance.

By now the couple were in a fabulous place. Remo had applied for a new job at the hospital and with Ronni’s support he was confident he could move forward in his career. Remo was getting to grips with a new relationship and the challenges that brings. He didn’t want to quell Ronni’s spirit; he just needed to keep a lookout for any signs of addiction or affliction.

They truly loved each other and had wonderful times trying new crazy things, and they both enjoyed the quiet times. The mornings or evenings when they were both too tired to do anything other than slouch on the couch and watch something funny on Netflix. As they grew older the pendulum swung from the wild unpredictable behaviour to the more chilled and “oh, I’m knackered tonight, let’s just stay in and snuggle,” vibe. It suited both of them and as they grew older, they matured into thirty somethings.

Remo was successful in his hospital application and was now a supervisor of a large porter rota. It was long twelve-hour shifts which were hard to get used to, but it gave him plenty of days off. He really enjoyed the challenge and loved the responsibility. Ronni was there to support and comfort him, she became the perfect companion.

A few months later the Gloucester Cheese Rolling race was on in May and Ronni wanted to relive old adrenaline adventures. She convinced Remo to come along, and he reluctantly agreed, they booked a hotel and headed off for a long weekend. Remo was trying to convince Ronni to just spectate, but she was adamant that she wanted to compete. Remo showed her YouTube videos of people flying through the air as they fell down a steep bumpy grassy hill chasing a wheel of cheese. Ronni just laughed and told him not to worry.

On the day of the event there were various different races going on which they watched and loved. The large crowd was shouting, screaming and clapping, beer was flowing and everyone was loving it. It was time for the ladies' race and so far, the worst injuries were a few bruises and twisted ankles.

Ronni kissed Remo for luck before lining up with the other competitors. She looked so excited and put her thumbs up. She was wearing jogging bottoms and a hoodie for comfort. The race started and the women began running down the steep slope as the cheese wheel was whizzing along at speed. Ronni was doing well and a few of the women began falling over. Suddenly, Ronni was winning, Remo started screaming “Come on, you can do it.”

Then out of nowhere, Ronni hit a bump through the grass and went down heavily into the ground. Her body was slammed onto the hill and her momentum bounced her back up and sent her spinning through the air. She flew through the air for twenty feet until crashing hard down onto earth, like a ninja throwing star. The crowd fell silent as everyone watched her. Ronni didn’t move and Remo thought she had died. The Ambulance staff ran over to her and supported her neck, she was unconscious.

Remo followed the ambulance to the hospital; he could barely see the road as the tears filled his eyes. The hospital staff were great, but Ronni fell into a coma, she had brain trauma and serious back injury. Remo barely left her side as she was being looked after by the doctors. He held her hand and spoke to her just hoping she could hear him. Poor Ronni was hooked up to machines monitoring her every breath, they would beep and hum, it went on for months.

Eventually the surgeon invited Remo into his office for a chat. The secretary brought them a pot of tea and shut the door. The surgeon explained that they had operated on Ronni’s back and that her body responded well. They were pleased to tell him that she was out of the coma. Remo was delighted, however the surgeon informed him that she may never walk again.

Remo was upset but was relieved that she was conscious. There was still a chance that after physiotherapy she may be able to walk again. Remo hoped for the best but just wanted her back home so they could be together. When Ronni was able to get around her new situation, she was amazingly positive and was up for her new challenge in life.

Remo was so proud of her energy and enthusiasm to put the terrible accident behind her. Ronni got on with her physiotherapy and worked hard on getting back on her feet. The irony was not lost on them that Ronni was now being pushed around in a wheelchair.

The incident made Remo realise that he wanted Ronni in his life forever. Ronni had months of Physio and progress was slow but it was still progress. Remo had made his mind up to propose and went to the local jewellery shop and bought a beautiful platinum engagement ring. He booked a table at the local Indian restaurant (making sure it wasn’t one they had previously got fake engaged in).

They had great wheelchair access and after their main meal, Remo got down on one knee and said,

“Ronni, I love you so much, you walked into my life two years ago and it’s been ‘wheelie’ amazing. Everything you do makes me smile, I’ve never been so happy and I want to be your angel. Will you marry me?”

This time Ronni had genuine tears running down her soft cheeks. She looked at Remo in his eyes and said, “of course I’ll marry you, my angel.” Ronni then stood up from her wheelchair in amazement and hugged and kissed Remo. The restaurant erupted. Remo said,

“Wow Ronni, you can stand, that’s amazing, I’m so proud of you.”

Ronni laughed and said, “I’ve been able to stand and walk a bit for the last two weeks, I just liked you wheeling me about everywhere.”

Ronni was in charge of planning the wedding for the following summer, which she loved doing. She also booked their honeymoon, two weeks in Pamplona, Spain. It coincided with their annual San Fermin Festival in July, otherwise known as “The Running of the Bulls”.

The End.