I like it hot

I woke up the next evening and realized it was too late to get the breakfast included in the room rate. So, I grabbed my tablet and looked for a good restaurant in the area; one with good food.

The vast majority of tourists visiting Bang Tao advised to try a dish called Pad Thai at “Ann's Kitchen” bar, which was conveniently located just a ten-minute walk from my hotel.

Unfortunately, to get there I had to pass the “Thailicious” bar, where the “evil eye” was waiting for me. I had two options: either be invisible or be rude. Neither of those was ideal, as I am a pretty big and nice guy. I decided to take the longer route and pass “Thailicious” from behind.

“Ann's Kitchen” had a sparse design; only a few solid wood tables, each meant to seat six people, were located on the pavement and the whole area was covered by a gray sheet of tarpaulin. The kitchen was quite small, no more than five square meters, but it was in full view of the public, so customers could see the entire food preparation process.

I ordered Pad Thai, although I still had no idea what it was, and a bottle of “Chang” beer – which I now know very well – for a change.

The restaurant was still empty, as it wasn’t yet dinnertime. My Pad Thai arrived quickly, and it looked like spaghetti cut into small pieces, mixed with vegetables and meat, all soaked in a bland sauce. There was nothing fancy about it, but it was better than stone–hard fried fish with frozen chips. The bowl itself wasn't very big, and I was halfway through my dish when the restaurant suddenly filled up. The only waitress placed customers next to me at my table, as there were no free seats anywhere else. I quickly finished eating, paid my bill, and left feeling a bit hungry. This place was inexpensive, and that likely explained the enthusiastic reviews on the Internet. Still, this wasn't what I expected in an exotic country like Thailand. Everything was too commercialized; there was no trace of anything exciting or unusual. As it started to get dark, the heat had not subsided. The air was still, and the enormous lovely heat was like a reminder that I was alive, and I should enjoy every second of life.

I wandered around and passed a karaoke bar, the singing inside clearly audible in Russian. My experience has taught me that it's easy to make friends with Russians, and they are quite fun – especially when they are drunk, or better yet, only when they are drunk. I entered through the sliding door, the air conditioning inside pleasantly cooling, not too strong but just right. I ordered a Mojito cocktail and listened to a young Russian woman on a small platform singing a nice performance, her company of several friends already well “warmed up”, clapping their hands frantically and ... getting ready to leave. No luck tonight, so far.

I drank two more Mojitos while waiting for someone else to come in, but nobody showed. Finally, I left the air-conditioned room and returned to the street heat, ordering another delectable Mojito and chatting lazily with the young bartender serving the bar on this side of the sliding door. He was tall and thin, with a pretty face – his English was good with almost no accent, and he smiled at me sadly. No wonder, as it was insanely hot, and he had to deal with drunks all the time.

‘It’s pretty quiet here,’ I said, gesturing to the empty street.

‘It's still early tonight, but this year has been quieter than usual,’ the boy replied, mixing another cocktail for me.

The cocktails finally did the job, and I was ready to visit a nightclub with loud music and a sweaty crowd – especially since I still had jet lag, and my brain was already getting ready for morning wake-up time. The bartender was from Bangkok, only working here in the high season, and he didn't know where to find such a place in this area. But I was feeling the urge to play, more and more.

I quickly returned to the hotel, which was in sight. When I asked the receptionist, who was sitting at the desk, he replied with a neutral smile.

‘What exactly are your expectations?’

‘I like techno, trance, good drinks and nice girls,’ I explained, winking one eye.

‘You won't find anything like that here, I mean the music,’ he answered, still with the same pleasant smile on his face. I was sure that every second tourist asked him the same question. ‘The best thing to do is to go to Bangla Road. If you'd like, I can call a taxi? It’s about twenty minutes away at this time of the day.’

I didn't need to be told twice. I rushed to my room, took a quick shower, and changed into different clothes. I had some Baht left from my currency exchange earlier, but I didn't want to risk running out of money while having a great time. So, I took one of my debit cards with some money on it from the safe and placed it in my pant’s secret pocket. Smiles and bows are nice, but it's always better to be extra careful.

My taxi was waiting outside. I didn't need to explain where to go, as my receptionist had everything arranged.

After twenty minutes of winding roads, we suddenly pulled up to the curb.

‘That’s it?’ I was surprised because the street looked deserted.

‘Yes! Go there,’ the driver waved his hand forward, I can't stop there.

‘But this is THAT Bangla Road, right?’ I had to make sure the receptionist hadn't made a mistake. ‘Yes, Yes!’ The driver was anxious to leave. ‘Go straight, then turn right,’ he waved his hand again.

I paid as agreed and hesitantly went forward. After all, it was only about a hundred meters, and I was supposed to turn right. The driver left suspiciously quickly, and I started to wonder if this was some kind of scam. But no… I went the hundred meters, reached the right turn, where I saw large masses of people getting out of cars and walking in one direction. I followed them and after a dozen or so steps I felt like I was entering the gates of another world.

Bangla Road was a very long street or promenade with no end in sight. On the left and on the right there were bars, pubs, discos, go-go clubs and so on, tightly packed side by side. All the doors were wide open and all kinds of music screamed from speakers placed inside and out. Rock, country, reggae, pop, metal, techno! The air vibrated like crazy as the music mixed into some kind of insane cacophony, almost unbearable for your ears. Loud as hell!

People didn't walk, they just moved step by step as if in a constant traffic jam. There were couples, groups, and singles crammed next to each other. Everyone was talking, screaming, gesticulating, and laughing out loud. It was like Dante Alighieri's Divine Comedy!

Every few meters there was a vendor for boiled corn, a primitive barbecue with chicken skewers, or a street vendor for beer and other alcohol, the bottles sticking out of coolers filled with ice. Business was booming, as the customers were endless.

In front of the entrances to bars, young girls danced invitingly. Some were dressed so sparsely that they appeared almost naked. I moved indecisively for a while, letting the crowd push me forward. Then I bought a small bottle of Chang beer from a street vendor and just stared at the surrounding turmoil. There was no chance of standing still as everyone was squeezing, pushing, and shoving.

So I let myself be pulled into this tunnel with no visible end. It was around ten at night, but judging by those arriving in a steady stream, this was just the beginning of the party. I saw many mixed couples—an older white guy with a young Asian girl holding his hand tightly—it looked like local folklore. Visitors kept coming, though there were already ten people standing on every square meter! Numerous side streets branched off the main avenue, which were densely packed with buildings, too. It was less crowded there, but not quieter at all.

Scents of antiperspirants, perfumes, and dancers' cosmetics, mixed with aromas from the grills, seemed to hang in the thick, hot air. Along with puffs of cigarette, marijuana smoke, and alcohol vapors, it created a unique bouquet that was hard to forget and was clearly associated with a party. I took a deep breath. I suppose, this is what they called having a good time.

I decided to take a break from the overwhelming sights and sounds and wander into a nearby bar with live rock music. The young band was playing catchy tunes that I couldn't quite place, but they were doing a fantastic job. The rock music was loud, but at least it was all in one genre. There wasn't a crowd there. I ordered a Mojito at the bar and listened to the music.

I thought I noticed a beautiful Asian woman watching me for a while, but it could have just been my imagination playing tricks on me. I still had plenty of Thai Baht in my pocket, and there were plenty of ATMs nearby if I needed them. After downing my Mojito, I decided to look for some place with techno music. I stepped out into the increasingly dense and sweaty crowd. It was hard to make out the music in all this noise.

Everywhere I went, I was quickly surrounded by young girls, some of them very pretty, mostly minors, some clearly drugged up. I wasn't keen on entertaining them and splurging on their drinks, even though they were alluring and persistent. As I held firm, their enthusiasm for me quickly waned, and they moved on to someone else. The night was short, and they needed to make money while they could.

The next few places didn't have anything interesting playing, but they all served beer and Mojitos. The energy from the Pad Thai from Ann's Kitchen was starting to wear off, and I needed to eat something soon – steak, or at least a chicken skewer.

Suddenly, mesmerized by a DJ at a nearby bar, I felt soft little fingers touching my hand.

‘Hey,’ a skinny little creature said to me with a flirty smile. ‘Could you buy me a drink?’ She tightened her grip around my hand. She had been watching me! I was right!

‘No problem,’ I replied nonchalantly.