“I THINK IT is time to discuss the plans we chose not to implement.”


Finally, Omron would learn why outrageously ridiculous plans had been tried first while strategic, well-crafted plans were skipped. If he ever became the high commander’s first advisor, he would push Plan 1. To him, the eleven plans that followed were utterly unnecessary as Plan 1 would accomplish the mission’s objective. Maybe now he would learn why that was not enacted and find some logic in the absurdity of the twelve plans.

He highly doubted that.


“Let’s begin with Plan 1.” This time the high commander held onto the data pad. “It is so simple, would you not agree? We came here to reveal ourselves to the earthlings and get them to stop developing horrific weapons that threaten the universe.”


“Yes, sir, it is straightforward. If we had enacted Plan 1 all those lectons ago, our mission would have been accomplished. Um, in my humble opinion, sir. I am here to learn.”


“You are an exceptional suck-up, Sergeant Omron. You will make an excellent first advisor… one day.”


“Thank you, sir.”


“You must understand, back then things were not always in black and white, as humans say. They had many science fiction stories about spaceships and aliens. In some, visitors from outer space came to save them, in others, to destroy them. Come to think of it, their moving picture stories from that time were in black and white.”


The high commander lost himself in (what Omron hoped was) thought. Omron decided to break the silence that could stretch out to fill the afternoon.

“You considered animated corpses telling them aliens had come would give them something they never saw in their science fiction stories?”


“Exactly. The worst fiction writer would never conceive it. From our small drone, they learned the basic shape and metallic composition of what they called flying saucers and had seen UFOs plenty of times in films. When we flew up to their capitals, it was something they had seen before.”


“But on a screen, in fake moving pictures. Now they saw us in real life, and in full color.”


“Never neglect the feigned respect of a good suck-up, Sergeant.” Omron tilted his head compliantly. “They failed to respect our existence. My advisor is the one who pointed out how earthlings who think are frightened by those who cannot, the dead. I chose the zombies and I live with that decision. Plan 9 failed miserably, Plan 2 accomplished the opposite of its aim, and Plans 3 and 4 had limited success.”


“And we have not tried Plans 6, 7, nor 8,” Omron said.


“Very astute. All these lectons later, we are still not communicating while wanting to get our message to the people of earth… by the most effective means.”


“Sir, if I may… is not simply contacting the leaders of Earth the best way to accomplish that objective?”


“Of course it is. That is not the point.”


“I understand, sir.” He did not.


“We skipped Plan 6 because it fell outside mission parameters of making humans comply or destroying them. Invading the planet and forcing them into submission would have required many lectons and a huge investment. Not to mention the administrative headache.”


“We have been here for seventeen lectons and devoted the full resources of our fleet and have yet to reach our objective. I mean, I see your point, sir.”


The high commander smiled widely. “These seventeen lectons here were a vacation compared to having to run their planet for them. I have no desire to be a zookeeper.”


“A wise decision, sir.”


“Do you recall Plan 7? Tell me why we never tried that brilliant plan.”


It may have been the first time Omron noticed sarcasm from his high commander. Or did he believe Plan 7 was a brilliant plan? “The massive scale and the expense were completely unrealistic.”


“If we dismantled our entire fleet, we would not have enough material to construct a cage around the earth to keep humans from heading out to space.”


When Omron failed to contain a chuckle, the high commander joined him in it. Perhaps this man was not as much a simpleton as Omron assumed.


“It was hard to believe that was included in the 12 Plans until I saw 9, then I realized any fool’s idea made it onto the list.”


Omron decided not to point out that his high commander had ordered Plan 9’s execution ahead of all others. “And what about Plan 8, sir?”


“Preventing humans from building that moon base keeps the option on the table, although it is unlikely we can still do it on top of what this mission has cost us.”


“Because we have exhausted the budget for this campaign, being here for seventeen lectons when the original mission briefing assumed less than one.”


“We have spent the entire budget of this and the next fourteen planned missions—all canceled. Relief funding from the Galactic Union feeds our people back home.”


“So, we could not build a giant laser on the moon, even if we wanted to. Besides, I’ve looked over the plans for that, and…” Unsure how much to say, Omron paused.


“Go on…”


“The moon orbits the earth, so a laser on its dark side would not always be able to shoot down a spacecraft taking off from the planet, depending on its point of liftoff and trajectory. And after the first ship was obliterated, humans would learn of the laser and send their rocket ships into space when the weapon was out of range.”


“Our genius engineers drafted a plan for a weapon that could stop spaceships from leaving the planet and somehow forgot the planet was there.”


“Sir, we skipped Plan 5. Does that mean it is in operation or could be enacted at some point?”


“All four remaining plans are currently in operation across that wretched planet. As I said earlier, we may soon solve our earthling problem.”