SECOND TO Plan 9, Plan 4 was Omron’s favorite. He thought it was one of the more outlandish ideas and doomed to failure. He had assumed it, like Plan 9, would never have been enacted. Would Plan 1, the first written and most obvious choice, be the last one they tried? It became painfully clear to him the plan sure to accomplish the mission’s purpose had been sidelined and his brain functioned at too high a level to understand why.


As respectful as he needed to be to his high commander—the thought of being in the insubordination exhibit made his gocklung sack shrivel—Omron could not comprehend the illogical decision of not pursuing communications once they understood each other with the help of the language computer. This was the best means to stop humans from making weapons and going into space to discover solaronite—which is exactly what they came here to do. For the hundredth time, he pulled up the mission statement.

 

...to communicate with the people of earth and accept peaceful disarmament of human nations for the safety of the Galactic Union. Earth and all upon it shall be destroyed if they refuse. Future admittance of earth into the Galactic Union will be considered. [If they are wiped out of existence, consideration will be withdrawn.]

 

On their mission to introduce themselves to the earthlings, they had hidden from them for seventeen lectons, after learning how to communicate with them.


Omron knew no one in the union had the technology to pull off Plan 4, least of all his people. But as he learned, it would take more than that to stop them from trying. The high commander left him alone once more.

 

Plan 4 Status Report

Earth date: April 2, 1969, to May 9, 1974

[Reopened October 5, 2023]

Work began on Plan 4 with several prototype clones of world leaders under the sage direction of General Mullox. Sadly, our first 3,247 clones failed. Some melted, others malfunctioned, at least one exploded. Acceptable losses since they looked nothing like the leaders they were meant to replace and had no ability to speak. Therefore, we begin the report with the first [only] successful insertion of a clone.

 

With interest piqued, Omron sat up straight to continue reading. He never expected even one clone to be put into service.

On earth date April 2, 1969, the Nixon clone was activated. Without technology to freeze the US president with reasonable assurances it would not terminate him, we locked him in a room with facilities and fed him their disgusting human food stuffs, including dead animals. [In time we learned those needed to be cooked.]


The Nixon clone almost melted before we balanced the internal regulator, but the puffy drooping cheeks were not too different from the human form it mimicked. After many adjustments to the audio settings, the clone had a reasonably similar cadence, and no one noticed the increase in his mumbling.


We had issues with the arm movement which became evident if he held his arms up, which he often did. A music group of people from an unnamed village created a dance to poke fun at our Nixon's raised arms. The song's lyrics were clear: "It's fun to say, 'I'm not a crook.'" We convinced them to say their Nixon arm gesture was the letter Y and replace the arm movements for N, A, and C with any other acronym. [We planted this idea in what they called an acid trip, though it did not involve any travel.]


By the time we placed our clone, it was too late to prevent the lunar landing, but our Nixon successfully reduced the space program's budget, which took some effort considering the excitement of reaching the moon. He squashed all plans to create a lunar base, preserving the option for Plan 8. Some earthlings noted how an accomplished president changed overnight, going from supporter of the space program to stifling its future, and how the man who had made historic peace treaties and accumulated an impressive record was reduced to a self-serving crook. Most figured it was the result of Washington politics and the corrupting influence of power.


When we needed to keep our Nixon clone in office, things went off plan, though we had him reelected with a huge margin over McGovern. [An actual human.] When the karplor hit the ventilator, we removed our clone and returned the real Nixon. His debriefing before congress about his abduction made them think he had lost his mind and he resigned soon after. As he claimed, the real president was not a crook since our clone did [most] of what people accused Nixon of having done.


[Addendum: While we had some success with this clone, we failed to create another believable model until late in the earth year 2023. With the age and wrinkled flesh of both US presidential candidates, the unusual skin tone of one, and the mistakes in speaking made by both, we were confident we could make successful clones once again.]

 

The high commander entered, still lifting the zipper on his space suit. Omron wondered why they called it that, it was the same jumpsuit everyone wore everywhere. His people did not excel in fashion. Was it a ‘space suit’ because the wearer was in space? Then why did no one ever call it a planet suit, an office suit, a home suit…?


Omron squirmed on the space chair as the high commander pulled the space data pad from his space hand and sat across the space table.

“Surprised?”


“Yes,” Omron replied. “I did not think we had the technology for Plan 4. Impressive work with the Nixon clone. May I ask… which of the current leaders or candidates have we replaced?”


“You may ask, Sergeant…”