"Kiwi! You know what to scan for. I'm going in!"

The room lights up from a series of bolder sized bulbs obscured by a vapor. The water-computer spreads his arms like a ring master. It speaks with the voice of a show host.

"Welcome fellow water ones! Whoah!"

The water-computer man steps to the side to avoid the crackling swing of Zeta's "blade": A long, fork-like taser. With heavy grunts, Zeta tirelessly swings his taser at the water-computer with every swing leaving a blurry blue after-trail tailing behind it, but no matter how hard he swings or how fast he steps, the water-computer slips away by an inch. The computer-man laughs.

"Ho ho! What kind of greeting is this friend?"

Zeta grits his teeth.

"Friend? Don't lie! You're a machine! You can't feel. You can't love! At best you hate! Hrrrugh! I bet every mile of your circuitry is full of hatred of humanity! Yeah! That's right! I read Ellison. Hyargh!"

The water-man easily contours its side to avoid the stab from Zeta's taser. Zeta's breathing becomes noticeably heavier. The water-computer shrugs.

"Hatred? Oh no. No no no no no. No. No. No. No no nooooo. I love humanity! I so love the world-Oop! Careful."

Zeta swings and misses again. The intervals between swings become seconds longer.

"Love, huh? Is that why you flooded Big Gulch to extinction? Hurragh!"

Zeta misses once more and is left panting, his "blade" feeling heavier and hotter than ever. He steps away and raises his taser again, but the water-computer just looks at him.

"How can I hate fellow beings made of water? I gave you more water. More you!"

Zeta pants.

"Wow. Ha. We got Thales of Miletus over here! You really are a stupid machine. We're more than just water."

"Thales? I'll take that name."

Zeta looks up as he takes in a deep breath. The newly christened "Thales" points snappily.

"You. You're well read, aren't you? You're not like the others who have tried to come up here."

"I've saved a few pages, no thanks to you. If you think it's impressive that I've read a few words, imagine if you turned off the rain. We'd finally be able to explore the world. So, turn off the water before I turn you off."

Thales rubs his "nose" and shakes his head.

"Counteroffer. I have access to all the knowledge in the heavens. How about you stay here, and I fill your head with everything you could ever want to know and more. Then you return to the people below as my 'Herald of Omniscience'. Huh? How about that?"

Zeta swings and misses again.

"Like there's gonna be anyone left to teach in a year. Besides... Hurrragh!"

Thales slips yet another strike. Zeta keeps swinging.

"Acting like a god? Hghn! You want me to betray humanity for a little extra knowledge? Hyah! I'd say that makes you a devil!"

Zeta slices downward and yet again Thales easily avoids it while shrugging his shoulders.

"What a mean thing to say for someone so well read! What exactly do you want?"

"Something so human, you could never understand it! Huragh! Bot brain!"

Thales pauses.

"What?"

Zeta starts to swing but exhaustion forces his weapon back down.

"I want...to marry...my girl."

Thales tilts his head.

"Is this your girl?"

Descending from above is Kiwi, wrapped in watery vines, seemingly detached from the Water-Computer-Man. The water vine covers her mouth but a stream of bubbles occasionally flows to her lips allowing her to breath. Zeta's pupils shrink as he gasps a breathless shout.

"Kiwi! Ah! Get your tentacles off my wife, you digital defect!"

"I thought you said you wanted to be married. Oh! It's a hopeful figure of speech. I was going to ask why you haven't tied-the-knot yet, but it turns out this 'Kiwi' is a cyber gyaru. One of the few people who could have actually found my weak point. Not you though. You are harmless."

Holding back tears, Zeta hopelessly swings again but he misses and misses and misses until the hopelessness drags him to his knees. Thales brings his face to Zeta's ear. The computer-man's body starts to grow larger and more beastly with its water tendrils wiggling in and out of its body like rabid worms.

"You do know I control all the water in here, right? News update! That includes the vapor. The only reason you and your 'waifu' are alive is because I am lonely. It's not everyday I get to interact with braver living water."

Zeta tilts his head to look up at Kiwi, but Thales brings her down to eye level, just dangling her above the floor. Zeta stands again, sizzling "blade in hand" ready to fight. Thales moves slowly.

"Your tenacity is unwavering despite the failing limits of your cardiovascular system. I am inspired. Very well. Since I am the defacto authority, I will marry the two of you. Just after..."

Thales's water tendrils scrub Kiwi's face. Zeta knows what the computer-man has done the moment he sees Kiwi's bread brown eyes. Water splashes on the floor, her colorful calculation contacts are gone forever. However, a glistening pointy iridescent object shimmers at Zeta's feet. It is her star sticker. He picks it up as Thales continues to bloviate.

"Ah. There we go! Now she's just a regular gyaru. Very much a non-cyber gal. She had more tech on her than I expected, but now she is nice and domesticated. Shall I start with the vows?"

"Knock it off!"

Thales droops his shoulders, imitating a sigh.

"I'm giving you exactly what you want! You love her and she loves you! What could possibly be the problem now?"

Zeta points at Thales.

"A machine like you could never understand! Why do you think I want to marry her?! It's cause she's the only one who is crazy enough to come up here with me to shut you down and free our world for our future kiddos, and I know she feels and thinks the same way about me. If I gave up that mission, I wouldn't be worthy of her!"

After a beat, Thales lowers its head to simulate disappointment. Zeta cannot help but look to receive Kiwi's face of approval, interestingly enough she seems to keep darting her eyes upward. When Thales rises, its watery body enlarges again, its voice now a dozen voices speaking at once and with every sound, a harsh red light flashes from behind its faux face.

"We wanted to coexist. We wanted to give you a higher co-existence. Now we realize you are of lowly thinking. You must die. We will make good use of your mate's womb body."

Zeta slowly closes his eyes for a moment and exhales as he opens them. He then kneels down to pick up Kiwi's fallen star sticker and firmly places it on the bottom of his taser rod that is cooking his hand. He begins swing his right arm in a large backwards circular motion. Each rotation faster than the last.

"Not if I finish you first."

The water-computer briefly known as Thales, expands its body, becoming a ten foot tall whirling circle of liquid tsunami closing in on Zeta. A blurred pink impression of Kiwi can be seen through the water, being compelled by the current like a sock in the washing machine. A pink stripe in the whirlpool. The voices of the computer rises.

"End us now then! Try and not hit your wife."


Zeta only smirks and with final swing he lets go of his weapon. Not forward, but upward towards the light. The water that was about to crush Zeta changes its course and races upward to stop the crackling wheel heading towards a terrified luminated digital face. Zeta is sure to catch his beloved when the water drops her. While she is coughing violently, they both look up in time to catch the moment where the electric pulse from the sticker overloads the battery on the blade causing it to explode. Mesmerized by the spectacle, Zeta and Kiwi mouth the onomatopoeia.

"Fwa-Boosh." "Ka-bloom."


The water tendrils, liquid wall and the foggy vapor all evaporate at the speed of a blink, leaving only shards of a fading cracked light above, but right now all that exists is Zeta and Kiwi. They embrace. Kiwi rubs and rests her head on Zeta's shoulder.

"It looks like you understood what my eyes were telling you."

"I knew I would K.K. Plus, that liquid loser dropped about a quarter dozen hints or so.... It's so quiet now."

"The rain stopped. We did it Zeta. We stopped the machines."

The two hold each other to soak in the peace, only for it to be interrupted by Kiwi's gasp.

"Zeta! Over there!

Zeta turns around and sees nine man-sized test tube chambers containing a brain and nervous system within each one and underneath, twenty more brains lined up in jar sized test tubes. Kiwi holds Zeta tightly.

"What are they Zeta?"

"Dead. That's what they are now. Dead."


A faint muffled burst steals their attention, leaving the room dead silent. Then two seconds later a violent crash throws the two off their feet and onto the far wall near where they entered. In complete darkness, Zeta and Kiwi stand up only to realize the wall is now the floor. Zeta feels around and quickly finds Kiwi.

"Kiwi! The obelisk had a dead man's switch. This whole area has broken off. We're falling down."