“What’s wrong?” Violet asked as Jess plowed through the first set of doors, her braids seeming to weigh her down. She looked disheveled and frankly, a bit thrown off. Her dark eyes flashed with pure irritation, but it was speckled with hints of worry rather than pure anger. The tension was already palpable as she continued walking right past Violet, holding the next door open for her, obviously eager to get away.
“Come on, I’ll tell you in the car,” Jess groaned.
Violet noticed a sheet of paper folded up in Jess’s hand as she pulled the strap of her bag over her shoulder again, preparing to follow her friend outside. She wanted to ask some more specific questions but decided it was best to wait.
The two friends hiked through the lot over to a dirty, black sedan, sitting alone in one of the farthest rows of parking spaces. Jess opened her dusty trunk and tossed her backpack, keeping the sheet of paper clutched in her fist. Violet slid into the passenger seat and shoved her bag between her knees on the floor while Jess slammed her trunk closed. It didn’t always close so easily, but something about this slam and the way it rumbled through the entire vehicle felt a little too intentional.
Violet grew anxious; it wasn’t often that Jess got so visibly distraught. She was normally quite put together and rarely lost her cool, especially because she needed to have a certain amount of credibility with both her peers and the administration. Violet always imagined her friend would go far into politics ever since their younger days. She had the strongest opinions on everything, and while she wasn’t always the type to scream them the loudest, she would most definitely scream longer and more intelligently than the loudest guy. Taking a leadership role in the student council was right for her.
This demeanor she had on was directly contradictory to her usual reputation, and as Jess forced her driver’s side door shut and twisted the key to start her car, Violet still couldn’t bring herself to ask again. She decided it was best to wait until Jess either calmed down a little or brought it up herself.
She still, however, couldn’t help but notice as Jess stuffed the folded sheet of paper from her hand into the front cupholder, wondering once again if that unassuming white sheet had anything to do with the sudden weight of the space around them.
The radio lights blinked and began blasting some upbeat disco-pop music that made the atmosphere in the car that much more awkward. Violet took note of the juxtaposition between the look on their faces and the positive tune that played behind them. The joints in her fingers flexed back and forth as she nervously awaited the apparent, imminent blow-up from her typically calm and collected friend.
Finally, as they pulled out of the now deserted parking lot, Jess reached over and turned the volume down to only a whisper as she sighed, keeping her eyes set dead ahead on the road in front of them.
Exasperated, Violet also let out a breath. She felt as though she’d been holding it in this whole time. “What happened?”
“Remember that conference I went to last weekend?”
“Yeah…” Violet trailed off, unsure of where this conversation might have been heading toward. The conference was a relatively major event, with several local high schools getting together to discuss fundraising events and collaborating on common issues going on in each school to effectively solve them. It always seemed like a smart idea to Violet, though she never had much interest in attending — the experience of being a part of one high school community was enough.
“Well, when I was there, a bunch of students from Southeast High School and their advisor did this really cool panel on niche clubs and forming communities or support for high school students in minor groups, sort of like a safe-space for discussions about possible mistreatment and creating direct lines of communication between those communities and the administration.”
Violet listened intently, still wondering how something that seemed so good could lead to her being so upset. Jess continued.
“Southeast High said they just adopted a new club last year called the Gay-Straight Alliance. They call it their GSA, to address misconceptions about the LGBTQ+ community, provide education and resources, and just general support, and as I was thinking about it, I realized we don’t really have any support for students with different sexual orientations in the school. It seemed like such a good thing, so I got the contact information for the advisor, and their student council representatives and I was chatting with them this week and they encouraged me to get the paperwork started to get a GSA on our club roster ASAP. So I went in to get the request form to start a new club today.”
Violet glanced down at the paper, curled around itself in the cup holder. That must have been the form. She could understand how Jess could have gotten upset if something had gone wrong. Her passion often led her to get rather emotionally attached to her projects. She continued to listen intently.
“I asked one of the secretaries about the form, and she started asking me what kind of club I was hoping to start. I told her about the conference and all that, and she just had the nastiest face on. It got so awkward and I just kept talking and trying to explain and all this and she was looking at me like I had three damn heads! I just couldn’t—” she stopped herself and took a deep breath.
“So I finished, and she’s just staring at me, and I’m like, ‘Is there a problem with that?’ and she said,” Jess stopped a moment and put on this annoyingly high-pitched, condescending tone, “I just don’t think that’s going to go well. I doubt the school will approve of instituting such a controversial club.”
Suddenly, her anger and frustration made sense, and tons of thoughts went flooding through Violet’s head. Violet was certain she wasn’t gay, but absolutely supported any person who wanted to live their most authentic life and love who they love. At this time in America, it seemed ridiculous that anyone could be so hateful and discouraging. She wanted to share these thoughts, but again, she chose to sit and listen while Jess unloaded her feelings of disappointment onto her passenger. She was sure Jess would share her sentiments.
“First of all, I can’t even believe a school employee had the audacity to discourage any student looking to take on a leadership opportunity like starting a new club, and second of all, I don’t understand how this is even a point of controversy! I know for a fact there are gay students in that school who are being bullied for something that is completely not their choice, and this woman had the nerve to tell me it would be an issue to provide a support system for that!? I was seething! There is absolutely no room for that kind of homophobic behavior from an authority figure in a place of learning. I’m just appalled, and disgusted, and— and…” she punctuated her thoughts with a poignant groan.
There was then a moment of silence, backed only by the quiet whispers of some radio talk-show hosts still playing and laughing from the speakers, blissfully unaware of how inappropriately their chuckles filled the pause between these two listeners. By this point, Jess was tense all over. Her shoulders were practically up to her ears, and her grip on the steering wheel made her knuckles white.
Violet looked away from Jess’s face and looked out the window. They were stopped at a red light, still a good few minutes from home. As much as she wanted to yell along with her, she and Jess were very similar when their blood began to boil. They needed to get their frustrations out quickly and explosively in a safe space so they could refocus more rationally.
“That sucks,” was all that Violet managed to say. There was nothing meaningful to add to Jess’s tirade. She just wanted her to know she had been heard.
Jess’s breathing slowed a bit, and the air in the car felt a little lighter. It was likely that all the anger had filtered out of her system and she was ready to move onto a new topic to distract her from the struggles that may come with establishing her new club. She glanced over at Violet. "It's fine. I'll figure it out." There was a pause. "Are you doing anything fun this weekend?" The light turned green and they proceeded down the road.
Violet shrugged. "A lot of my friends are busy this weekend. Yvonne is going camping; Emmy is grounded. I did run into Travis and Xander while I was waiting for you, and Xander said his parents are going to visit his brother this weekend, so maybe I'll spend some time with him."
"Yeah? Your dad's going to let him over?" She let out a scoff disguised as a laugh to show her skepticism. Xander was the only boy that Violet had really dated in the last few years since her parents got divorced, and Mr. Gray, like the protective single father he was, didn’t much care for his daughter to have boys around the house, even if he was with them.
"Well, he actually invited me over to his place."
Jess raised an eyebrow. "So you'll be alone in his house with no parents and no siblings then?"
"I guess."
Another pause.
"Is Travis going to be there?"
Violet suddenly felt as though she were in an interrogation. "I don't know. He said he was taking his girlfriend out for her birthday tonight. He didn’t say anything about the rest of the weekend."
"Hm," the sound left Jess's closed lips with her eyebrows quickly rising before settling once again.
Violet just looked at her as she stared down the road, pressing her to explain herself a little further. What was she implying?
"What?"
"Nothing, I just think," she took a moment to carefully consider her words before saying, "You know I think he's still a little into you and I know you're close with him, I just don't want him to get any ideas if you do actually decide to go to his place knowing it's just going to be the two of you."
Violet loosely crossed her arms, feeling a sour taste in the back of her throat from the insinuation. As much as Jess had a point, she was certain Xander respected her enough to not push too far if she wasn't comfortable, but she’d always been comfortable with him. She trusted him.
"I appreciate the concern, but I'm sure it will be fine. We're just really close, besides, you know me," she spoke slowly, "I'm not really in a rush in that particular department. I have no problems waiting until I'm ready."
"Really? It seems like it's all you and your friends talk about."
"Well, yeah, but that's just a part of being in high school, isn't it? Everyone's getting their cars, parents are leaving their kids alone for the weekend because they're ‘mature enough’ now or whatever. I don't know." She dropped her hands and started picking at a hangnail on her thumb. "It makes sense with all the opportunities, I guess."
Jess shrugged, making the turn into their neighborhood. "I'm not trying to tell you what to do, but as obsessed as everyone is with losing their virginity, I don't want you to regret losing it to someone random, and especially someone you've already decided is not boyfriend material."
"I wasn't even thinking about having sex with him. Honestly, do you really think he's going to make a move like that?"
"I have no clue, Vi. You know him better than I do, I guess. I can’t even imagine what goes through a hormonal teenage boy's brain, and to say the least I think I'd be shocked if I could." She offered a smile to lighten the mood.
Violet let out a quick snort. When she thought about it, Jess was right. Emmy was the most suggestive friend she had, and she'd already lost her virginity. What must be going on in the mind of a guy who didn't even know what it was like? She had some guesses from the handful of Cosmopolitan magazines she'd flipped through in the supermarket. According to those "sexperts", anticipation made the experience better, which was why there always seemed to be articles with the top five or six sultry messages to send your man while he's at work for the "Best Sex of Your Life™."
She made a face to herself, refocusing just in time for Jess to pull into the driveway outside of her house. Her dad was pushing the lawnmower through the side yard of the house with headphones in his ears as Jess put the car into park.
Violet grabbed her backpack from between her legs and sat it on her lap. She pushed her door open to exit the car, looking back over at Jess. "Thanks for the ride," she said, "and let me know if you need any help with the GSA stuff. I think you're right, the school really needs something like that."
Jess smiled. "No problem! And you know I will."
With those words, Violet closed the passenger side door and waved her goodbye as Jess shifted into reverse to head a little further down the street to her home.
Finally, the weekend could begin.
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