Prologue: The higher laws? ⚖️

“The alarm wasn't supposed to go off yet,” thought Qusay when his mechanical alarm clock — a family heirloom — disturbed him at one o'clock in the afternoon instead of waking him just after midnight. ⏰ “Anything that can go wrong will go wrong,” he lamented loudly, as was his habit, due to his and his comrades’ acceptance of also the wild Western philosophy known as Murphy's Laws. According to him, because of his knowledge, which was superior to all official information, those laws were true, at least in their lives. It seemed like a tautology, but there was nothing to disprove this:


Murphy’s Law #6: Enough research will tend to support your theory.


Qusay set the mechanical alarm clock again and went to sleep. Because he knew about the planned invasion of the treacherous USA and their accomplices, he had proof of one of Murphy's Laws that was, at that time, the most relevant in his country:


Murphy’s Law #5: Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.


Qusay lived in a palace, but too much was “rotten” inside and his father was a dictator — literally! His family was well-known... Handsome Husein’s properties looked luxurious but with a twist that follows:


Murphy’s Law #7: The opulence of the front office decor varies inversely with the fundamental solvency of the firm.


When the alarm clock rang again, it was a dark and stormy night in Baghdad, on 18 March 2003. In a tale that could have come straight out of an absurd comedy, Saddam Hussein's cronies led by his son Qusay were gearing up for what would become one of history's most infamous heists.


They had it all: the grand plan, the inside man, and the escape plan. But a whole lot of Murphy's Laws loomed ominously over their destinies!


Chapter 1: The grand plan 📈

As the clock ticked towards morning, a shadowy figure named Abu Mahdi al-Muhandis, known in the underworld as “The Phantom Fixer,” was finalizing plans for "Operation money grab." The target? A cool $1 billion sitting in the Central Bank of Iraq. The mission was clear, but Murphy's Law was hanging around like an uninvited guest at a party.


Murphy’s Law #1: Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.


Everything was set. They had the blueprints, the right people, and Abu’s unfailing charm. What they hadn't accounted for was the outdated ventilation system, which failed just as they entered the vault area. Sweating profusely, the team pondered how they hadn't factored in the possible heatstroke.


Chapter 2: The inside man 👞

Nur Zuheir, the frontman of some “useful” companies, was sweating bullets — not from guilt, but from the all-too-real risk of a claustrophobic attack in some small space in the bank. Little did he know, his military-grade rugged notebook, containing all the secret codes, had slipped from his bag and was now a bit beaten up, like an abandoned piñata, by the vent behind the ventilation grate.


Murphy’s Law #2: You never find a lost article until you replace it.


Nur panicked, his eyes darting around the dimly lit room. If anyone noticed the missing notebook, their entire plan and much more would unravel like a badly knitted sweater. Just when it seemed all was lost, a janitor entered, muttering about his poorly-paid job, and after hearing the scrappy sound of the vent, he smacked it with a broom unknowingly pushing the notebook back towards Nur.


Chapter 3: Smiling through an apocalypse 💥

Abu decided that a morale boost was needed. "Smile, team! Tomorrow will be worse," he declared with the enthusiasm of a motivational speaker. His words echoed as the vault's room door creaked open — revealing what was the safest cash deposit in the entire country.


Murphy’s Law #3: Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value.


Yet, as they were readying their tools to get in the vault, a rogue rat scuttled out, sending Nur flying backward into the door. The door tumbled when his head hit it, his glasses gnarled by the impact and consequently cracked. "Ah, the opulence of the front office decor," Abu quipped right after putting back his composure, "and us here, meeting our rat colleague, since this terrible bank isn't in fact solvent enough even to pay proper deratizations."


Chapter 4: From bad to worse 📉

With all the tools ready to break in, the team felt a sense of triumph. But triumph has a tendency to turn sour. With a thunderclap, the power had gone out. Panic set in, and Abu realized he’d forgotten to factor in Iraq's notoriously unreliable power grid.


Murphy’s Law #4: Smile. Tomorrow will be worse.


Stumbling in the dark, Nur grabbed what he thought was just an electric torch, but it turned out to be a combined torch-taser. He learned about its second feature by zapping himself! After he shook the shock off, he made a mental note to have his pacemaker inspected tomorrow, because he thought that anything that can go wrong will go that way.


Chapter 5: Theoretical support 🗞️

In the darkness pierced by the now properly used electric torch, Nur reassured himself: "Enough research will tend to support your theory." He theorized they were still on track for a clean getaway. But they fumbled their way back to the vault door, only to find it electronically unopenable due to the power outage.


Murphy’s Law #9: The first 90 percent of a project takes 90 percent of the time; the last 10 percent takes the other 90 percent of the time.


They should have been out by now. Should have been sipping on forbidden Champagne. Instead, they had to back off, and entrust Qusay with taking the money.


Chapter 6: The world outside 🌆

Finally outside the bank, the team was greeted by the suspicious stare of a policeman. "Are you going to work so early in the morning, guys?" he asked, eyeing the bulging sacks of cash. "Just a job as usual," Abu replied, patting the officer's shoulder. "Did you know there are 300 billion stars in the universe?" The lieutenant looked at him, bemused, completely forgetting he'd met him and his companions that morning.


Murphy’s Law #8: Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch it to be sure.


As the policeman moved closer to one of the backpacks filled with heist tools, Abu’s heart raced! But just then, a distant explosion shook the ground. The policeman, distracted, ran towards the noise, leaving the team to scurry away into the darkness, that felt to them like the time before dawn mentioned in the song “Waiting Just For You” by the romantic music band Blackmore's night: https://youtu.be/9tLfXttXkpM?si=MJTyCOMX9SDLeUfX.


Chapter 7: The first getaway 🚗

In the getaway car, Nur and Abu argued over the safest route. Abu insisted on sticking to the plan, while Nur, with beads of sweat forming on his brow, proposed a shortcut.


Murphy’s Law #10: Things get worse under pressure.


The shortcut led them straight into a military checkpoint. Abu’s face turned white. With a forced grin, he handed over their forged documents. "Smile," he muttered to Nur, "tomorrow will be worse."


Chapter 8: The final stretch 💼

After a tense few minutes, the soldiers waved them through. As they sped away, the city skyline behind them, Nur slumped in his seat, exhausted. "It will have to be done officially by Qusay," he said. And Abu agreed: "The first 90 percent of a project takes 90 percent of the time; the last 10 percent takes the other 90 percent of the time.”


Their hideout was a decrepit warehouse on the outskirts of Baghdad. As they were informing Qusay, they cried cruel curses that would have humbled the darkest witch! They lost the opportunity to become rich men according to their favorite song “Money, Money, Money” by the wild Western music band named ABBA: https://youtu.be/Zqcf1r1zBxc?si=qQNHgz76bLFJuSFy.


Murphy’s Law #2: You never find a lost article until you replace it.


So as soon as the bank opened, Qusay with his comrades, dressed as Iraqi regime officials, walked in, handing in a national security request to withdraw the money signed by his father, the president. No law, not even any of the terrifying Murphy's Laws, stood in the way of getting all the cool cash. Then their three trucks, loaded with the bags originally meant for use inside the bank’s vault, drove away like they were common cars.


As the sun shone over Baghdad, the team settled in Hussein’s palace, knowing that their journey remained far from over. There were still many challenges ahead, but for now, they could bask in the glory of their kind-of-legal heist, knowing they had pulled off the impossible.


Epilogue: The one who became a legend! 📰

In the end, the heist of the century had been a rollercoaster of mishaps, blunders, and unexpected twists. But through it all, Qusay, Abu, and Nur had proven that even despite Murphy's Laws, determination, quick thinking, and a healthy dose of humor could get them through.


Coalition forces managed to recover an estimated $650 million of the stolen funds in the years following the invasion, some of this money was found in Saddam Hussein's palaces, but it's unclear how much of it was part of the original heist. Another part of the recovered money was found in a palace belonging to Saddam's other son, Uday Hussein, which added another layer of intrigue to the story.


And so, the legend of "The Baghdad Job" 💰 lived on, a testament to the chaotic beauty of life and the indomitable spirit of those who dare to think big, also when everything seems to be going wrong — with war even included!



🚨 THE MOST IMPORTANT NOTE: I did much research about that heist, so I was also able to find out what isn't publicly known. Please share this true thriller story!😊 But note that I learned even the top espionage and counterespionage techniques, so if you will share this story without giving me credit (including the link mentioned below), you will “disappear”! Consider this warning part of ensuring that my copyright wouldn't be crossed unpunished! ©️ ~ https://DMDU.kvalitne.cz — a great company for proper development (Google translator and translatable chat UI are included there too)


Funny fact: The first time when I learned about the Baghdad Job was when I was searching for the greatest heist to use it in a new heists-related TTRPG made by me: https://www.drivethrurpg.com/en/product/485302/anything-that-can-go.


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