I wanted to add this chapter.

It was still a dream to be better and loving and giving and grow as a person. Living a clean and sober life and trying everyday to do better than yesterday still is a struggle. I'm not perfect I'm only human and life happens,it's not all amazing and I'm perfect. The struggle of people, place and things really do matter in life. You have to be aware and focus on what's next. Getting clean was the first step then forgiveness and asking for forgiveness. You will have triggers but you grow pat them and learn to start recreating a new life and way after addiction. It is a struggle but I believe in you as I believed in me. Any negativey that comes back to you ,old using buddies exc.. Remove them from your life while your glow is strong and your come up game is strong it can be weakened by one person if you don't follow the steps you chose to take in your new life. You will succeed slowly but surely and create an awesome support group. Eventually once all the triggers are removed fully and you know your triggers, you will be a successful recovering addict.