I woke in the morning to the usual noises of the castle. Maids were cleaning, guards were making their rounds and I could hear people outside the castle talking and laughing. I was not in the mood for talking or laughing. All I could think about was that I was going to have to leave here in a week. I’d be leaving everything that was comfortable and familiar to me. There was a knock at the door. I yelled a grumpy, “Come in!” and Lara’s head poked in. I smiled and waved her in. “Good morning, Lara.”


“Good morning, Miss Octavia. Is everything okay? You look upset. Would you like me to run a bath for you?”


“Not quite yet, Lara. There’s something I need to talk to you about.” She nodded and I continued. “I found out last night that I’ll be leaving Stuvaria next week and moving to Amorite to marry Prince Alexander.”


Her eyes got wide, and she shook her head. “But Miss Octavia, you don’t even know him, do you?”


“I don’t, but my father has decided that it is what’s best for me, and for Stuvaria. You’ve been with me for the past ten years and I would like you to come with me. I understand if you don’t want to, I know your family is here.”  Lara had been my lady’s maid since I was seventeen. We had been through a lot together and I trusted her completely. It was hard to find people like that and I hoped I wasn’t going to lose her.


“I would be honored to travel with you. I wouldn’t want to leave you, especially when you’ll be living with strangers.” She looked at me with her big, blue eyes. She was a pretty girl, a couple years younger than me. She was still unmarried, probably due to her family’s fear that she would lose this job if she got married and then had children. I had always thought she and Nicholas would be perfect together, but they were both stubborn. Maybe traveling with me would help bring them closer together and something good would come out of this mess.


I took her hand. “Thank you, Lara. I appreciate you being willing to come with me. There’s a lot I need to do to get ready. Why don’t you go and let your family know what’s happening. You’ll have to pack as well.”


“Yes, Miss Octavia. But first, are you okay? This news had to be an unwelcome surprise to you.”


“Very unwelcome, but if it’s what’s best for Stuvaria, then I suppose it’s what must happen. Who knows, maybe it will all work out and I’ll get a fairytale ending. Isn’t that what happens to princesses?”


She smiled weakly and said, “In the books, anyway.” She gave me a hug and left the room.


I got up and drew my own bath. I generally didn’t like my personal servants doing the basics for me. I was capable of doing them on my own and felt guilty, even though they assured me they didn’t mind. I sat in the bath and tried to relax. There was a knock on the door and Nicholas strode in again without waiting to be invited. He stopped short and turned his back to me when he saw I was in the bathtub.


“Sorry, Tav. Didn’t realize you were indisposed.”


“Well, if you hadn’t just barged in AGAIN, I could’ve told you.” I sighed loudly to let him think I was irritated. In reality I didn’t care. He was probably the best friend I had ever had. “What can I do for you, Nick?”


“I talked to your father, and we are good to go. I can accompany you to meet Alexander and stay as long as you want me to. Marcus will cover for me while I’m gone, and I’m guaranteed my position when I get back. He won’t look at my departure as desertion since I’ll be protecting you.”


“Well, that’s good news. Lara is speaking with her family about leaving with me and she will most likely be joining us. Maybe I can finally get the two of you to realize you belong together.”


He laughed, “I doubt that will happen. I’m determined to remain a bachelor. If I can’t have you, then I won’t have anyone.” He turned briefly and winked at me.

“I could order it, you know. You’d have to get married if I forced the issue!”


“Don’t make me turn around, pull you out of that tub and parade you down the hall in all your naked glory!”


“Try that and you’ll be hanging from the gallows by this evening!” I couldn’t help laughing as I said it. I knew neither of those things would happen, he would never run me down the hall naked, and we hadn’t had gallows in decades. I also wouldn’t force him, or Lara, to do something they didn’t want to do.


“Ok, ok, you win. Princesses!” He snorted and then laughed as he walked toward the door. “Let me know if you need help with anything. I’m off to get Marcus up to speed.”


The next few days went by in a blur of packing, organizing, and crying. I didn’t want to leave my home, my father, all my memories of Max. I could still picture him the last night we spent together. His hands and his lips on my body, his kisses, and whispers. His eyes looking into mine as he made love to me, the feeling of him inside me and the sense of connection I felt with him.  I had hoped for a pregnancy after that night, but it apparently wasn’t meant to be. Had I known it was the last time I would see him, I would have held on tighter. I hope he knew how much I loved him. He had been able to make me laugh like no one else, and I missed him. I missed the sense of belonging I had when I was with him. Maybe a change of scenery would be good for me. Maybe I was holding on too tightly to the past.


Since he made his announcement, my father seemed to avoid me as much as possible and it was making me angry. He was throwing me to the wolves and didn’t have the balls to face me. Two days before I was set to leave, I strode into his chambers prepared to read him the riot act, only to find him tangled up with one of the maids.


“Seriously, father?” I was thankful they were under the covers.


“Octavia!” At least he had the decency to look ashamed of himself. Not that I expected him to live like monk or anything, but he could practice a little discretion. It was the middle of the day!


“I’ll wait in the hall while you put some clothes on.” I turned and walked out the door, fuming. A few minutes later the maid came out, looking flustered. I opened the door and stormed in on my father. “You decide to destroy my life and then you don’t have the guts to face me, so you hide here under the covers with the maid? What’s wrong with you?”


“Octavia, I…” He started, but I cut him off.


“No, you listen. I agreed to go along with your plan because you said it’s best for the kingdom, but now I’m thinking I should just refuse and run off with one of the guards! If you don’t care about Stuvaria, why should I?” I knew I was being slightly unfair, but I was angry, and the stress of leaving was getting to me. I wanted my father to know I was unhappy, and he was hiding from me. My life was being turned upside down and I wanted my father to acknowledge it.


“Octavia, I’m sorry. I know this is unfair to you, and you’re right, I haven’t been able to face you. I just keep thinking about what your mother would say about all of this. I swear I wouldn’t ask you to do this if I saw another way.”


“Look, I leave in two days. Are you coming for the initial trip or are you staying here? Nicholas and Lara are coming with me. Is there anything you can tell me about Alexander? Nicholas is not too fond of him. I guess I’m surprised I haven’t met him. Plenty of princes have visited in the past. Why hasn’t he been one of them? Is he even close to my age?” I had so many questions and I wanted some answers.


“I will not be making the trip with you. I’ll say my goodbyes here and will attend the wedding when it’s all been arranged. He’s a few years older than you are. He’s thirty-five. You haven’t met him because he lived most of his life in Germany with his mother’s family. It’s a long story but he was basically kidnapped by his mother, and she took him away. It wasn’t until his mother died five years ago that he learned he was the oldest heir to the throne of Amorite and returned.”


“Thirty-five? Shouldn’t he have a wife by now?” Now I was really wondering what was wrong with Alexander. Most men were married by twenty.


“His first wife died in childbirth, along with the child. He has been a widower since. I’ve heard the ladies find him to be an attractive man, but he hasn’t shown an interest in being married again.”


“Is he on board with this plan, or is he being forced into it as I am?” I hoped he was at least happy about the arrangement. Things would be a lot worse if he was resentful of me right from the start.


“Like you, he’s doing this because it’s best for his kingdom.”


I rolled my eyes at my father. “Great, he probably hates me already and has three mistresses.”


He laughed and said, “That’s my Octavia, always so dramatic.”


I looked at him with tears in my eyes. “I don’t think I can do this. I’m not strong enough. It’s too much.”


“Octavia, you are one of the strongest women I know, and I am not just saying that because I’m your father. You survived losing your mother and your husband. You are smart and beautiful. The people of Stuvaria love you. If anyone can do this, you can.” He opened his arms, and I was surprised at the gesture. He hadn’t hugged me in years and was not an emotional man. I walked into his arms and took what comfort I could.


I tried to believe the words my father said about my strength, but as my departure day arrived, I was feeling decidedly weak and emotional. Nicholas and Lara tried to make me feel better but all I kept thinking was that Alexander would hate me, or that I would hate him, and I would fail. I wasn’t sleeping or eating. Nicholas joked that I should have one of the guards “service” me so I could relax and fall asleep the night before we were leaving. I thought about it, but I had never liked to take advantage of the staff like that. When I explained that to Nicholas, he just laughed.


“It’s bragging rights to say they serviced their princess! You’re actually depriving them and yourself!” I laughed it off but didn’t partake.