I woke up to a knock on my door. Before I could even sit up, it was opened by my father’s guard, Nicholas. I sent a glare his way. “What have I told you about entering without permission? What if I was naked?”


He grinned at me. “Well then, I’d get a good show. Your father requests your presence in his chambers.”


I continued to glare at him as I threw on a robe and walked out the door and headed towards my father. Nicholas bowed as I walked by with a smirk on his face. I heard him laughing behind me and resisted the urge to turn and flip him the bird. I had known him forever and he took pleasure in tormenting me. We grew up together and our fathers had been friends. When his father was killed, my father assigned him to the guard detail. He rose in the ranks and now served as my father’s head guard. He was like a brother to me. An annoying, jackass of a brother.


It was late and I figured it must be important if my father woke me up to talk to me. I walked into his chambers and was immediately concerned when I saw the look on his face. He was a handsome man, although time and the stress of ruling had aged him. Right now, he looked extra stressed. “What is it, father?”


He let out a big sigh. “Octavia, please sit down. You’re not going to like this conversation and I am apologizing in advance.”


I sank down into the nearest chair. I had a feeling I really didn’t want to hear what he was going to say. He ran his hands through his hair. It had once been all dark but was now graying. He always said he was just thankful he still had all his hair. He was pacing across the floor, and I stood up and took his hands, forcing him to look at me. “Just spit it out.”


His dark eyes looked into mine and he sighed. “As you know, I had a meeting with the kings of the surrounding kingdoms. There is a threat coming from the Easternmost part of the country. We need to ensure that our alliances are strong.” I nodded my head. He’d been gone for two weeks meeting with the King’s Council and had just returned. Nicholas had told me about the trouble brewing. It was concerning, but I didn’t know what that had to do with me. I waited for him to continue. “Prince Alexander from Amorite needs a wife. You are the only princess of age in the country. I have agreed to allow you to marry him.”


I was silent for a few minutes and then I said, very quietly, “You what?”


“We don’t have a choice, Octavia. Besides, you deserve a second chance at a happy marriage. You can’t waste away here with me for the rest of your life. It’s been three years since Max died. Your mourning period is over.”


“Seriously? Is that what you had to tell yourself to make peace with this? I don’t WANT a second chance! I loved Max and I don’t want to be with anyone else. Especially not some random guy my father sells me to! Was he the highest bidder?”


“He’s hardly random! He’s a prince which means one day you will be queen! It’s a good match, and I am not selling you.”


“Ok, so what do you get out of this deal?” I was livid but I knew how these things work. Once they were set in motion, there was usually no turning back. I was used to being used as a pawn. Life as a princess was a privilege in many ways, but it came with responsibilities. As a woman, I had little control over my life. My father had tried to protect me as much as possible and I was lucky in many ways. I had been allowed to marry for love. I married Max when I was twenty and then he was killed in battle when I was twenty-four. I was now twenty-seven and considered close to being an old maid. I was given concessions because I was a widow, but I knew I couldn’t stay single forever. My status made me a hot commodity.


“What do I get? I get the guarantee that our kingdom stays in our family. When I die, you and Alexander will rule this kingdom in addition to his current kingdom. If you produce a male heir, he will rule here when he comes of age. This match guarantees our family maintains rule here and protects your legacy. That’s what I get.” He was angry and I almost felt guilty. I supposed he thought he was doing what was best for me. Never mind that I must marry someone I have never met and am expected to produce an heir. A boy, of course, because women could not be queen without a king.


“What happens if I don’t agree to this plan?”


“Then our alliance weakens, and if we go to war, we can’t be sure we come out on top. Our kingdom could be taken over and lost forever.” His eyes were pleading with me, but I wasn’t ready to give in.


“None of that is a guarantee, and there’s no guarantee that me marrying Alexander keeps any of that from happening! You’re gambling with my life! I won’t do it!”


“You don’t have a choice, Octavia. You leave for the Kingdom of Amorite next week. You can take two staff with you.” He looked at me, daring me to defy him, but I knew there was no point. My fate had been decided.


I left the room without speaking and when I glanced back at him, his head was down. He looked defeated and I didn’t know whether to feel satisfied or guilty. When I got back to my room, I slammed the door. I didn’t know what to think. I didn’t know much about Amorite and knew even less about Alexander. He could be old enough to be my father. He could look like a troll! I was expected to produce an heir which meant sex. I had never been with anyone but Max. Well, I had never had sex with anyone but Max. I had fooled around with a few guards and a duke. No one else had ever made me want to give up that part of myself. It was the one thing I had control of.


There was a knock on the door, and I opened it. Nicholas stood there looking angry. I invited him in. “I just heard the news. What are you going to do? What can I do to help?” He paced the floor.


“What can I do? I am going to pack and go.”


“Just like that? You’re not going to fight this? Alexander is a prick, and you deserve better!” He took me by the shoulders and looked at me. “I’m not going to let you go. I’ll talk some sense into your father.”


“Nicholas, I appreciate you. I know you’re looking out for me, but you know how things work. I don’t have a choice! If it isn’t Alexander, it will be someone else. At least Amorite is close by and I’ll be able to visit.” Close by was 100 miles which was a five-day journey, and I knew that visiting wouldn’t happen often, if at all, but it made me feel better to say it. I wasn’t proud of the fact that I was giving in, but I had been around long enough to know that fighting would only lead to more problems. If my father had made the agreement, there was no getting out of it without a fight, and I didn’t want to be the cause of a war. The people of our kingdom didn’t deserve to be put at risk because I was being a spoiled brat.


“This sucks, Tav. It isn’t fair.” He looked distraught, and I couldn’t argue.


I took a deep breath and considered my options. “He said I could take two people with me. I could request that you’re one of them. How do you know Alexander is a prick?”


I knew asking him to come with me was a lot to ask. As captain of the guards, he had a lot of responsibility here and was well respected. If he went with me, he would give that up and risk not being able to get it back. “I met him briefly at the council meeting. I highly doubt he will remember. He was so stuck on himself, and he barely spoke to anyone. I would hate to be away from here permanently, but maybe I could go with you to make sure you’re safe and then come back here. Who else are you going to bring?”


“I’ll bring Lara. She’s been with me forever and I trust her. She’s a friend, and I have a feeling I’ll need one.”


“I’ll tell your father that I want to go with you and ensure your safety at least until the wedding. I can have my second in command cover while I’m gone. I can’t see why he wouldn’t agree since he must worry about how you’ll be treated over there.”


I felt tears building behind my eyes and tried to fight them back. “What if I hate him, Nicholas? How do I give myself to someone I don’t even know? What if he’s ugly and awful to me?” The tears fell and I let them.


Nicholas came to me and took me in his arms, holding me tight. “I don’t know the answer to any of that, except that if he doesn’t treat you right, I will personally take you out of there, even if it means we run and hide away forever.”


“You would do that for me?” I asked, the tears slowing.


“Of course. You’re my family and no one is going to hurt you. Plus, I promised Max I would look after you if anything ever happened to you, remember?”


“Thank you, Nicholas.” I held on to him a minute longer, relishing the safety I felt in his arms. I often wished I could just fall for him, but the feelings had never been there.


“Anytime. I’m going to talk to your father and see if he’s in agreement with our plan. You get some rest, and we’ll talk in the morning. He kissed my forehead before leaving the room.


I climbed back into bed and tried to relax, but all I could think about was how my life was going to change. I tried to tell myself that maybe I would have a happy ending, but what were the chances? I had married for love the first time and it had ended in me being a twenty-four-year-old widow. Would I be lucky enough to find love again? Nicholas said Alexander was a prick, and he has always been a good judge of character. I had seen the results of arranged marriages before, and a lot of them were not good. Some had been able to at least respect each other, even if they sought out others to meet their more basic needs. I am not one to share. If I am having sex with someone, I am faithful to them and expect the same. I am not sure how I would handle being married to someone who was having sex with someone else. Would I be able to have someone on the side?


“Ugh! This is so unfair.” I said to myself. “Just take one day at a time.” Tomorrow I would start packing and preparing to leave for Amorite. I started making a mental list of all the things I wanted to take with me and then fell into a fitful sleep.