Fade into me
~Pens&Keys
Instead of being transported to the center of nothing, I find myself staring at Elloren. Her blue hair pinned in spiral curls. Rolling her eyes, she sat on top of the black wooden table. The low hanging overhead pendant light stopping just a few inches from the top of her head.
“You do know your candle was a few seconds from burning out. Are you trying to be thrown into The Void?”
“Non.” I answered, lowering myself to the ground.
The Graveyard Library is the only place that allows Elloren to summon me. All things in here operate on the same dimension, outside of The Crypt Keeper. Same dimension different time periods.
There are also no clocks inside The Graveyard Library. Glancing at my wristwatch, Elloren was an hour early.
“You are early.”
“Yeah, well training was not going great.” Leaning her head back, Elloren let out a sigh. We did not discuss the things she did in training unless she wanted to speak about them.
Sitting down in another burnt ash gray bean bag chair I replied.
“I have a few things to inform you of. The first being that Abegal is not a psycho. She is a fairy.”
“WHAT! No way I would have known! How do you know?”
Once again Elloren managed to scream whisper her words. Leaning forward as much as she could without tipping over, she waved her hands in a “Come on spill it” motion.
“I saw her tail.”
“Seriously? I mean but how. A fairy’s metamorphous is absolutely without error.”
“In her training room she probably believed herself to be safe.”
Blinking Elloren leaned back. I know that sort of blinking. She is going to ask a question.
“No Elloren, I never peak inside your room. My instincts told me to look inside of Abegals. It was not done out of curiosity.
“Good.” Elloren let out a deep sigh of relief.
“Okay, okay, okay. So Abegal is a living Fairy in this dimension. Her ability to perform metamorphous has us believing her name is Abegal and she is a psycho? Or is she a different person all together? Wait did you see her face?”
“Non, only her tail.”
“Dam.” Elloren replied as she laid herself out on the table.
“What else do you need to tell me? And why are we inside this creepy ass Library.”
Raising my eyebrow I asked, “I thought you liked The Crypt Keeper?”
“I do like her. It’s her home I do not like It’s too ancient.”
Mimicking Elloren’s laying down posture. I draped my legs over the arm of the bean bag chair and laid my head over the other.
“We came to this creepy ass library because I wanted to do some research on The Angel of Death. The Angel has never written anything. However, I did come across a story by a woman named Ires no last name. Apparently in a time before either of us existed. Ires was spared by The Angel of Death. The Angel gave Ires “True Sight”, allowing Ires to see her parents for what they were. You know the type very well Elloren.
Ires was required to kill her parents for the Angel to not kill her. She did it with black flames.”
Rolling her head in my direction. Meeting each other eyes we remain locked in with each other. We both know what black flames are. We both know of a person with black flames. Both know the rarity of them. Both know the bloodline in order to inherit them. Both know that these sorts of connections are not random. They are unable to be.
Elloren whispered, “The Sun Eater.”
My mother.
Ires must be connected to my mother somehow. If she is connected to my mother that meant Ires must also be connected to me. But how?
“Why did The Angel of Death spare her?” Elloren asked.
“The Angel said, ‘Though my love for you maybe morbid, it is unyielding.’
“Were they in love?”
“I hope not. Ires was a child of nine.”
“Was she eight out of nine or age nine?” Elloren asked.
Squinting at her, she laughed.
“It is a valid question. Alucard, you know how your speech can be at times. Sometimes you sound and speak exactly the age of your father. Other times you speak and sound current.”
“Moving on. Godric also…”
“Right, before we get into Godric. I know how I can be about pretty boys. But in all seriousness Alucard do you trust him?” Elloren asked sitting up and jumping down from the tabletop. Her head missing the overhead pendant light by one inch. Whenever Elloren is about to say something uncomfortable to herself possibly offensive to me. She always comes close to me. Sitting on the edge of the beanbag chair. She starred off into the rows of infinite books sitting on silver and black shelves.
“I know you like him. But he is The God of Destruction/ The Conqueror. Depending on who you ask. Is he safe Alucard?”
Collecting enough air to create a deep sigh, accidentally inhaling Elloren’s scent. She smelled of her childhood home. That’s why she did not wish to speak about training. She must have spent some time submerged into that house.
“Safe? Non. Despite that, I do like him Elloren. Recall what Clarissa stated about vampires not caring about the amount of time they waste on anything.”
Nodding her head in response she waited for me to finish.
“That’s how I sometimes feel in his presence. I could use all the time I have on him and not feel as if one second of it was wasted.”
“If you trust him Alucard, then I will do the same. Just try not to forget he is a God for a reason and that reason is in his name depending on who you ask.
Sitting up on my elbows I asked,
“Are you saying he could be attempting to conquer me?”
“Yes.” Falling back down. Elloren could have a point. My mother said something similar during The Hunter Games. “There is a reason he takes centuries to reappear.” That’s not what he feels like to me though.
“Noted Elloren. I will take this into deep consideration. Now listen. Godric entered this conversation because in Ires’s story Mr. Bluestone’s father was there. According to Ires’s mother Mr. Bluestone was in love with Ires. What exactly he did to her during their time together is unknown. Ires never remembered. It was all a part of the spells they casted on her to keep her memories altered and forgotten.”
“Like the spell here.” Elloren said, facing me. Her green eyes glowing underneath the low light of the library.
Nodding my head I said,
“Last night Godric advised me that The Holy Trinities have been active for a while. Starting with the Bluestones. More disturbingly Godric posed a question. ‘Have you asked yourself yet, how The Holy Trinities possessed the Magician?’
“By Clarissa’s mother.” Elloren answered.
“Oui, by her mother.” Waiting I want to see if Elloren would catch on. If Clarissa’s father supposedly murdered her mother.
How would The Holy Trinities have taken over Mr. Cravemount’s body. The parasite dies with the host.
“Recall what the cloned Clarissa said Elloren. Her father killed her mother to prevent a full possession.”
“I remember. I remember Clarissa also stating The Holy Trinities contacting her. She, I mean the real Clarissa is a Medium. She is the only way the dead can walk freely again. I pull their souls from Mr. Cravemount’s body. One of them enters Clarissa. The others someone else with medium powers.”
“Wait what? Is that what is supposed to happen?” I asked sitting back up. Elloren glared at me over her sweatered shoulder.
“Yes Alucard. Do you not pay attention in class?”
“Class about Necromancers? Non, that is why we are friends. You can tell me everything that is relevant when the times comes for the information to be relevant.”
Clicking her tongue, Elloren thumped the side of my stomach.
“Yes, that’s why mediums are pointless. They are entries for the dead. That’s why I was upset about them contacting her. Once they make solid contact, i.e. A medium waking up in a dream. A connection has been made. A strong one."
“Relevance of information noted. If Mr. Cravemount murdered his wife. How could his wife and her sisters take over his body.” I asked running my hands through my curls.
I am taking a risk. Godric warned me that I shouldn’t say anything about the curse if I am not prepared to break it. However, he did not say anything regarding helping Elloren recall information.
Hearing Elloren open her mouth. I waited on the words. However, nothing followed. Silence. Rearranging us. I placed Elloren fully on the bean bag chair and me on my knees in front of her. I could see her searching for information she should know. Godric was correct. Elloren is under a curse. A powerful one.
“I feel like I should know this. I feel like I do know this. So why don’t I know this, Alucard?” Elloren’s green eyes bore into my red ones. Tears and realization mixing on the surface of green irises. Her voice three octaves higher. I could see her disappearing into herself. How, how do I stop this from happening. I shouldn’t have said anything. Wanting to say, “We will cure this.”
“You have been cursed Elloren.” Slipped out instead.
Before I could say anything more. I felt him. Looking over my shoulder, Godric appeared. The Crypt Keeper by his side baring a frown on her ethereal face. Inside the library she shrunk herself to a reasonable size. A little smaller than Godric. She lacks trust in him. The Crypt Keeper directly escorts beings she lacks trust in but held no reason to withhold the library from them.
“Good evening.” Godric said taking a bow. His long ash braid swinging over his shoulder in a graceful manner only he can accomplish.
“Good evening, Conqueror.” Elloren replied from politeness not consciousness. I could feel her hot tears dripping on my hand. She is there at least. Please let those be tears of not knowing not tears of harm.
“Crypt Keeper are there any books on breaking curses used with The Angel of Death magic or essence. Whatever one wishes to call it?” I asked.
She only stared at me. Her black robe floating in the infinities of directions this library could lead one to. In her black marble eyes, there was only my reflection, nothing else. Nothing else just me.. just me.. fuck… just me? I am the answer.
Pointing to myself. I said,
“I have never written a book.”
“I believe she is answering the correct question you should have asked St. Vincent.” Godric said. Unwrapping his black scarf from around his neck.
Fully standing in front of Elloren and ignoring Godric I asked The Crypt Keeper.
“I am the cure?” She did not move nor did the image in her eyes alter. Great. I’m a fucking spell and a curse breaker.
“St. Vincent do you mind bringing your friend and yourself outside the confines of this library? The Crypt Keeper does not wish to have my presence in her home for more time than she deems acceptable. I am afraid we are reaching that limit. Just above his head floated a black candle. Black candles limit a person’s time inside the general area of The Graveyard Library.
Crossing my arms and smiling I asked,
“Why doesn’t she care for you?”
Glaring at me with melted silver eyes. I remembered that’s how Ires described The Angel of Death eyes. Silver you could swim in. No longer caring why The Crypt Keeper does not care for him. A more important question surfaced. Could he not be what he says he is? Could he have fooled everyone. Including me. What if he is not Godric Victorian The Conqueror but The Angel of Death. Taking one step back. I tapped Elloren on her shoulder.
“Elloren stand please. We need to go.” No matter where I went, he could track me. He could track me because his sister taught him how. What if that was not the case. Lie about somethings but never about everything. My mother taught me that. What if that’s what Godric is doing? Tell the truth about Mr. Bluestone and The Holy Trinities but lie about having a sister or at least learning to track a vampire from her. The Angel of Death can most likely track whatever she or he wants.
On autopilot Elloren stood. Taking her hand in mine. I escorted us out of The Graveyard Library. Two seconds later. Elloren’s head hit her pillow. Her eyes unblinking her breath steady. She appears to be dreaming with her eyes open. I need to go. In eight seconds, Godric will be here.
“Elloren you are home in your campus room in your bed. I must go. I will return with the answer to fix you.” I said whispering into her ear.
Another two seconds, I arrived at the conversation pit in the student lounge. I have a total of sixteen seconds before Godric arrives. Pulling out my phone I dialed my father’s number.
No answer, fuck. I dialed my mother’s number. No answer. Using “Devil’s Search” I located my father walking into a home he is welcomed to. Wherever he is, its hot. I can feel its heat on my skin. Blinking myself back. Three seconds until Godric arrives. This time he is going to tell me everything about where he comes from. Just then my phone buzzed. One of parents must be texting me back instead of calling. Instead, the text read. 9:30pm Vampire. Shit, Clarissa.
Wait she will know how to break the curse. I wanted to play my hand better, but I am running out of time. I have no knowledge of what is happening inside of Elloren. Is she in pain, fighting for her life, trapped in hell. How long does she have. Before I could take off to Clarissa’s room. Godric grabbed my wrist.
“Why are you running from me St. Vincent.” Pulling wrist away I replied,
“Are you The Angel of Death Godric or whoever you maybe?” Taking a few steps away from Godric, he followed. Not allowing any space between us. I could feel the frustration vibrating on his skin.
“You know so much about The Angel of Death. You knew about Mr. Bluestone. You knew about the mass memory curse. You know about Elloren’s curse. You know too much about these things. I would be an idiot to trust that you are not somehow connected to all of this.”
Taking a step back. I needed clear air to breath. Every breath I took was filled with Godric. Instead of allowing me that. He took another step forward.
“Stop. Obviously, I need to breath.”
“You are a vampire the last thing you will ever need is to breath. Try again St. Vincent.”
“Okay, I require clear air. Inhaling you is counterproductive to that.”
“Again, St. Vincent you do not require air. Stop breathing. I am not allowing you to run away again. Eight seconds is too long to catch up to you. Now why are you running from me?”
Standing on the ceiling I glanced down at Godric, him up at me. Titling his head a little to the left smirking a little. He said,
“Clever trick.” From this viewpoint. Godric appeared almost human standing there in brown slacks, a white button up and a brown wool trench coat. I could see his pulse beating underneath his skin. A pulse I want to sink my teeth into. A pulse I want to sink my soul into. Please do not be The Angel of Death Godric. Please just be who you say you are. Biting my bottom lip to keep from biting Godric. He noticed.
“Are you hungry St. Vincent? How often must you feed?”
“I am fine. Stop asking me questions and answer mines. Are you The Angel of Death?”
Taking a deep breath Godric moved to sit on the red circle couch inside the conversation pit. Removing his coat and laying it next to him. He spoke.
“Come here.” This time how he said it was not a request. It is a command. I know because I have given Ethan many orders in that tone. That low stern tone. Not an ounce of his natural indifference could be heard. He is serious. Does he truly believe he can command me?
Without thinking about moving, my body did so naturally. Confused as to how I am sitting next to him and not standing on the ceiling I moved to correct my position. Sensing this, Godric answered.
“No, St. Vincent I am not. I am who I appear to be. I am not in any form trying to trick you. Although I wish you will allow me to capture you sooner rather than later.”
“How the fuck did I get down here Godric? Is this one of your powers?”
“Are you that unaware of how you feel about me St. Vincent? Of how your body reacts to me?”
Facing him. I could only stare and wait for him to translate what he is saying in French. Somehow all the English I thought I knew no longer sounded the same.
“My powers do not include teleportation of another person. You came because I commanded it of you. Surly you know a command when you hear one.”
“Why am I following your commands, Godric. I would never choose to do that.” Over Godric’s shoulder I could see someone walk in. The brown-haired boy took one look at Godric, and I turned on his heels and left. Behind me I could hear the fire crackling in the stone fireplace. Letting everyone know it is alive an well.
“My turn. Why are you running from me?”
“I..I..” Why am I running from him. I spent an entire night with him in my bed. Nothing he has ever said I can prove to be false. He has not harmed me or hurt me in anyway. Not once have I felt unsafe with him. What am I doing?
Folding my legs underneath me I answered.
“I ran because of panic. The Angel of Death. She has eyes like yours. A river of silver. I read story about her. Silver eyes are not common anywhere. Naturally I assumed you must be the same person. Elloren is... unconsciously conscious at the moment. I just..”
“You are overwhelmed. You are confused. You are hungry. You are scared. It is fine to collapse into me St. Vincent. I will not hold it against you.”
“I do not want to collapse I want to be done with this.” I said almost screaming. My voice echoing off the stone walls colliding into each other. One day Elloren will teach me how to master screaming in a whisper.
“I am not used to begin the answer and not knowing how to insert myself Godric. This is surreal to me.”
“This is fear St. Vincent. Fear in a context that a vampire can understand. Cause confusion play with the blind spots in your vision. Flooding information, layers of traps to confuse your mind. The Holy Trinities have spent a decade planning this. Do not feel discouraged in your attempts to aid your friend.”
“How do you know so much regarding The Angel of Death? Godric?” I will not let him escape this question. If he wants me to collapse, I need to know who I am falling into.
“Compromise St. Vincent?” The question did not leave Godric’s lips as a question. It feels like a truce. Staring me in my eyes, I could see him asking me to accept. I can feel him pulling me to him.
“Compromise.” I sighed out, nodding my head. He is right I am exhausted and hungry. I want to end my doubt about him tonight. Either I trust him, or I don’t.
Placing his hand on the base of my neck, Godric began his truce.
“I want you to fade into me when this is over. Become mines. I have never felt the inclinations to offer any portion of myself to anyone besides one person. I want to own you until time stops for me. If you feel anything for me that resembles that. Acknowledge it to me now. In return I will tell you how my knowledge of The Angel of Death came to be vast.”
If my heart existed, it would have stopped. While Godric spoke, I drowned. I want him. I know that Elloren knows that, and I’m sure Ethan will figure it out to. Godric knows it to. However, its not enough for him to know it. He wants to hear it. Something he wants to hear in exchange for something I want to hear.
Blinking at him, Godric remained stoic. Remained perfect, while I continue drowning in him. Moving my eyes from his to his lips to his jawline to his freckles. I began to count and think.
It’s okay to drown Alucard. If you are going to drown in anyone, shouldn’t it be the best the universe has to offer? Besides I do not require air. Moving closer to Godric, placing myself in his lap. My thighs on the outside of his. Godric’s hands locating the center of my back. He did not push me into a kiss. Instead, he slid his hands along the length of my back, heating up my spine. I could feel every muscle weakening underneath the warmth of his hands.
Leaning close to his ear, I whispered my soul into it.
“There is no one that has ever walked this universe more beautiful than you Godric. I knew that the first night you came into my orbit. If we were human, I am sure this would sound romantic but it’s not. I want to drink from you. Pour my blood into you to tie you closer to me. I want to know what it’s like to have nothing in between us. I can fade into you, but only if you surrender back Godric. I have decades to waste on these emotions of mines. Decades to explore the depths of yours. Are you willing to allow me to turn you if a few decades are not enough? Would you give up being a God?”
Leaning back Godric replied, “I have eons St. Vincent.”
Pushing my curls from my face. Godric kissed my forehead. With his eyes locked on mines and my confession in his ear. I leaned my forehead into his. Taking a deep sigh, Godric answered my question.
“The Angel of Death is my sister.”
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