The Ginger Nuts and The Pirate Cats

After the successful camping trips with the specially built camper van and its trailer, the Ginger Nuts were especially looking forward to all future summer excursions. Now that the new kittens, Tabitha and Mungojerrie had reached adulthood and settled into family life in an admirable fashion, all six cats anticipated fun and games of the highest order.

The kittens wondered if there would ever be an opportunity to meet Wild Bill Hicat, with whom, Bullpuss, Tigtoes and Squimps had established the most cordial of relationships.

In the middle of one of the finest lakes in the famous Crumbrian countryside, was a small island, left to one of the most effective conservation bodies by one of the revered children’s authoresses. The property on the island, which could only be reached and serviced by small boats, had been let and leased for a considerable length of time. This lease had reached the end and since the property was in quite a serious state of disrepair, new tenants were sought on a new favourable lease term, upon the understanding that the lessee’s would, at their expense, organise an effective restoration of the property, to the conservation trust’s exacting standards. The acreage of the island, now overgrown, was also to be landscaped and restored to its original more formal setting, with choice shrubs and trees. The fine beech and oak trees were to be kept but needed some sympathetic tree surgery to deal with any disease problems.

At the children’s school, certain pupils came from affluent backgrounds and the family of one of their friends had taken the lease on the island. The grandparents had run a successful property construction company and looked upon the island challenge as a magnificent retirement project. 

They were quite happy to ship in all construction materials in the small boats available, taking out the debris in a similar manner. The sympathetic restoration of the trees and landscape would be tackled under the same restriction.

What hadn’t been taken into account was the rodent problem!

Over the years with the previous tenants a succession of rats and mice had sneaked on to the launches making the occasional trips between the island and the mainland. This tended to be a one direction journey and word soon got around the local rodent population that the island was feline and predator free and generally could be viewed as the answer to rodent dreams, as a rat utopia.

The result, unfortunately, as any expert in Biology could confirm, was a drastic overpopulation of rats.

The local folk of the nearby town had started referring to the location as Rat Island, instead of its more attractive appellation.

As building work began, it was imperative that the rodent problem was tackled as a matter of urgency.

The enterprising grandparents heard that their grandchildren knew some school friends whose family included six famous felines, who were readily transportable in their own camper van.

Arrangements were quickly made and the Ginger Nuts sextet were invited for a fortnight’s camping holiday on the island. The trip was arranged for the first part of the school summer holidays.

The cats when they heard about the plans, were delighted, and discussed the roles that each would play. As the largest cats, Bullpuss and Mungojerrie, with their strength and almost canine dental arrangements, suggested that they would tackle the rats. 

Squimps, with his dentally challenged gum problems, Tigtoes with his light springy agility and Tabitha, as the self appointed, Mouse Ventura, would tackle the mice.

The old furry Mopprag, because of her great age, could perhaps help with the oldest and slowest of the mice.

The pergola posts in the garden, certain suitable trees and the inhouse cat scratching apparatus were in full use as claw sharpening became the order of the day.

Bullpuss and Mungojerrie could be heard planning rat trapping manoeuvres. Mungo was open eyed in amazement with the stories told by Bullpuss of his experiences when helped to survive as a stray by Vulpo the Fox.

The day of departure arrived and the Ginger Nuts were lined up, bouncing with excitement, anticipating the adventure. As soon as the camper van was opened, they all leapt in, and took up positions by windows ready for the journey.

The short journey to the Crumbrian lakes was uneventful, apart from the fact that only the Mopprag settled down for her usual rest upon the best campervan cushions. The others looked out of first one window, then another, perhaps hopeful that a passing car would have been driven by rats!

Upon arrival at the lake, there was a secure parking space for the van by the lakeside with easy access to the launching quay.

The cats, very familiar with their garden pond, had little experience of such a large expanse of open water. One or two had experienced unforgettable moments with Young Master’s homemade model boats, but none had seen anything like the rather neat launch that was available for transfer to the island.

The logistics of luggage and feline transportation became a major subject for discussion.

Old Mistress assessed the situation and reckoned that three trips would be needed.

Bullpuss assessed the situation and reckoned that he and Mopprag should accompany Old Mistress on the first trip to the island.

Mopprag could get settled in with minimal disruption and maximum comfort.

Old Mistress could start to arrange the camp site for the subsequent arrivals.

Bullpuss reckoned he would scout the island and check for signs of rodents.

The cats were encouraged to wear pet life belts plus buoyancy aids and any refusing were popped into cat baskets.

The second trip took Young Master, Tigtoes and Squimps.

Balancing carefully on the prow of the launch, Squimps imagined the fun that Clawed, the Kit from Red Bank, would have had, with all his experience of nautical matters in and around Lyme Regis.

From the back of the launch, watching the land disappearing, Tigtoes imagined what their old adversary, Captain Bullpuss, would have made of the anticipated adventure.

The third and final trip brought Old Master, Young Mistress, Tabitha, Mungojerrie and the remainder of the luggage.

Mungo reckoned that, by putting his tail up in the air, its magnificent bushiness could help steer the craft.

Tabitha told him not to be silly, and reminded him when as a kitten, she had helped haul him out of the garden pond.

The camping area prepared for the family was just by the recently restored outbuildings of the property, so all ablutions’ services were of the highest order, much to Old Mistress’s approval.

Bullpuss soon reappeared after his initial appraisal of the island and took the other five Ginger Nuts off to show them his findings and discuss ideas.

The island was a lovely mix of mature oak and beech trees, underplanted with choice rhododendrons and azaleas, but all badly in need of pruning care.

The extensive undergrowth was aquiver with rustlings and whisperings, as the rodents spotted the feline party and wondered what problems lay ahead.

The cats popped back regularly to the settlement to check on the arrangements.

A built in BBQ area was quickly commandeered by Young Master ready for the provision of feasts.

Bullpuss hoped that Young Master would consent to cook up a fat, juicy rodent or two.

There were so many rodents that the cats found their first trapping and dispatch manoeuvres almost too easy, and at the end of an exhausting day, everyone collapsed around the campfire that Young Mistress had helped to construct and which formed a welcome focal point for togetherness.

Certain felines had made the mistake of snacking upon their favourite parts of the rodent anatomy, and were now suffering from a surfeit. Mopprag was administering helpful tummy rubs to help dispel the bloated feelings.

Squimps organised the tired Ginger Nuts into dragging the little bodies back to camp for checking, counting and generally scoring brownie points for being “good felines”.

Tigtoes and Mungojerrie, having learnt so much from watching Young Master over the years, knocked up a tumbril upon which several corpses could be carried simultaneously.

Mopprag wondered whether several coffin stones should be set up, upon which to rest the bundled up packages, whenever the bearers needed a rest, in keeping with the wonderful traditions of old Crumbria.

Old Master’s final task of the evening, was to prepare deep trenches, which, with respectful ceremony, were used to bury the small, furry bodies.

Young Mistress and Young Master started preparing little graveside crosses made from twigs and tied together with dried grasses. At first they wrote upon each one, a sequence beginning MOUSE 1, RAT 1, etc but soon found they couldn’t keep up.

An all encompassing plaque was constructed which served the same purpose.

As dawn broke over the surrounding hills, the first cats to awaken and venture out were Mungojerrie and Tigtoes. Pussycat tiptoes were employed for the first expedition. Shortly, they were alerted by squeaks and rustlings, and poking their noses carefully through the undergrowth, an intriguing scene was revealed.

It appeared that every rat and mouse on the island had assembled to assess and discuss their predicament. They were sat or crouched in a large circle around a central area, cleared of debris, where several spokesrats were leading the discussion.

“Now, brethren,” squeaked a large, elderly great grandfather rat, “‘appen we ‘ave a serious problem! There’s nowt left t’eat on’t island and there’s too many mice for comfort.”

A senior mouse sprang to his paws to point out that rats were far greedier than mice, saying, “one good rat meal would sustain at least five mice.”

Another rat cheekily suggested that the mice should be offered as sacrificial victims to the marauding cats, whilst the rats made good their escape.

Another more elderly mouse attempted to defuse the situation, “there’s little to be gained by falling out,” she began, “we need to find out how seriously involved the felines are. If they are intent upon our demise, we need to make evacuation plans.”

The rodents became distracted by chattering talk about the different merits of swimming to the mainland, against their ability to construct robust boats and rafts, to facilitate their mass evacuation.

They failed to notice Mungo and Tigtoes, who, carefully balancing upon their hind legs, strolled confidently into the middle of the meeting. 

The rodents fell over themselves, trying to hide away from the awe-inspiring gaze of the statuesque cats.

“Mirrawow, if it helps with your planning,” drawled Mungo, “we have every intention of clearing each one of you out!”

“Mirrawacow!” said Tigtoes, twirling his whiskers with a paw, “it’s my belief, that a careful selection of short twigs, tied together with dried grasses, makes a serviceable escape raft!”

The cats’ comments echoed over an empty glade, as every rodent melted away into the undergrowth.

The young rats gathered and put their noses together to hatch a most audacious plan. They plotted to locate and steal the rafts that belonged to the Red Squirrels. This would save them the trouble of constructing their own, a subject upon which, they had little knowledge.

The Red Squirrels rafts, used on an annual nut gathering expedition, were drawn up above the high water line and covered with brushwood to try to hide them.

The chattering of the young rats was overheard by the old brown owls, who previously had found the island a restful place for their daytime slumbers.

With their daylight hours’ rest disturbed, they listened with increasing anger to the thieving plans of the rats. An owl envoy was dispatched to locate the red squirrels on the mainland and alert them to the predicament.

Knowing that their main fleet was stored on the island, usually hidden from prying eyes, the red squirrels just needed one raft secured on the mainland, on the understanding that this might be found and interfered with.

Alerted by the owls, the most skilled of the boat builder squirrels brought out the service raft and strengthened the structure to allow a small militant force to make the crossing of the lake.

Upon arrival, they found that the young rats were causing mayhem among the stored rafts. With little knowledge of nautical matters, they were attempting to launch the more robust of the vessels.

Scuffles and earnest disagreements broke out between the two sides.

One raft was eventually launched, but too many rafts tried to board it. With no captain, and a lack of shipwise skills, the raft floated out onto the lake, with rats tumbling off into the waters, and among much consternation to the watchers on the island, the ill fated vessel sank.

The bedraggled rats, soaked to the skin, struggled back to the shore, where they were confronted by a line of Red Squirrels, arms crossed, and with “told you so” expressions.

Being by nature, amiable animals, they were quick to drop their animosity, and lent many helpful paws to rescue and dry off the recalcitrant rodents. The drenched fellows were given a thorough rubbing down to keep out the cold, and some nourishing nuts to restore the inner rat.

“We think we need to talk!” said the Red Squirrels, “we can offer a ferry service - we know the lake, the currents, the winds, the weather, and together with our poles for the shallow bits, we use our magnificent tails as sails.”

“But we need something in return!” they continued, as the rats discussed the suggestions. “Can we trust you rodents? A complete amnesty upon your stealing of our new babies and youngsters, would be ideal.”

The adolescent rats explained that such a serious matter needed discussion with their rodent elders.

It was soon arranged that the rat elders, chief red squirrels, plus a few senior mice, sat down amicably over some hastily prepared snacks. They quickly agreed every main point, (in a demonstration to their human counterpart politicians of how things should be done).

The only outstanding issue was the mouse situation. They were suffering the same problems of starvation and cat predation on the island, but had little to offer red squirrels as their potential side of the deal. One bright mouse squeaked up to point out that the mice would be best placed to ensure that the rats would never have the chance to renege on the agreement.

They were familiar with the larger rodents’ ways, and often envied their strengths and survival instincts, although they always drew the line at sewer adventures. As a species they tended to display less sneakiness than the rats and thus could be relied upon to keep a watchful check upon them.

The treaty was quickly signed, sealed and delivered.

The Ginger Nuts team had been quietly observing all the developments. The Old Furry Mopprag, with the immediate agreement of Squimps and Bullpuss, suggested an immediate end to the extermination, and that, in altruistic fashion, the felines should cooperate with the other partners to facilitate a speedy and complete rodent evacuation.

The constructional cats, Tigtoes and Mungojerrie, started making small carts, tumbrils and wagons, to help move belongings and youngsters to the harbour.

Tabbo, that somewhat untrustworthy of young devious cats, was forced to wear a muzzle and kid gloves on her front paws, as she pushed a cart filled with young mice. Her eyes gleamed above the tight straps of her muzzle as she made small growling purrs which the mice found most disconcerting.

Overall the evacuation went well, and the squirrels made many crossings of the lake. Many of the mice had never been afloat on water before and kept leaning over the side of the rafts to dabble tiny digits in the cool clean waters. Suddenly the squirrels shouted a warning, when they spotted the slick outlines of pike and other large predatory fish in attendance just below the surface. Since very few rodents were wearing galoshes and mackintoshes, it was important to avoid maritime disasters.

At the end of a very long day, the cats and squirrels were exhausted, and collapsed in amiable fraternity in the clearing beneath the beech trees. The two strongest squirrels were ferrying the last families away to their new futures upon the mainland.

“Macow, have we finished?” asked Mopprag, “has every last rodent been cleared?”

“Macau, how shall we check?” asked Tigtoes.

It was hoped that, as the large influx of rodents was inflicted upon the nearby town, there would be a minimum of troubled confrontations, and that fresh homes and habitats could be secured by the newcomers.

The Red Squirrels confirmed that after a good night’s rest, at daybreak tomorrow, they would scour the island for hideaways and miscreants.

“Meeeoup, there’s a miscreant here!” exclaimed Bullpuss, as he joined the group.

He was leading by the paw, and generally helping, an incredibly old, great-grandmother rat, who hobbled along, leaning heavily upon an old furled umbrella. She was wearing a yellow dress with red spots, and a voluminous green overcoat.

“Oh, deary, deary me! I’m too old for these shenanigans,” she squeaked, “this has always been my home. Can’t I stay young sirs? See out my mortal time? I’m too old for any more rat families, and if I’m the only one, the meagre food supplies should be enough.”

Wry smiles crossed the faces of the cats and Red Squirrels as they helped to settle the old lady rat down among mossy banks and dried leaves.

Old Ratty Gamp, for that was her name, agreed to show the squirrels the likely places for rodent hideaways and it was arranged that she should report any further rat voyagers trying to land on the island in the coming months. The squirrels promised to keep a watchful eye upon her well-being.

So, with all future snags identified and resolved, the Ginger Nuts and the Squirrels felt that they could relax and enjoy a few days of peace.

As wild animals leading an endangered existence, the squirrels were entranced to meet a friendly group of pet animals and felt that there was perhaps hope for the future.

Unbeknownst to the relaxing friends, trouble was brewing in the nearby town, whose rodent population had been suddenly and drastically increased. Everyone was talking about the situation, the local townsfolk, their pets, and the indigenous wildlife. There was conjecture about the reasons.

The local cats got to hear about the Big City Ginger Nuts’ success and, in a fit of pique, decided to try to assert their provincial authority.

Now, it was holiday time in the local area, and lots of tourists, from far afield, were staying in the town, enjoying the walks and boating trips upon the Lakes.

It just so happened, that felines known to the Ginger Nuts had been brought with their families to enjoy the break with them. One was the elderly miscreant, Captain Bullpuss, who overheard the local cats’ complaints and plans. He soon introduced himself to them, explaining his knowledge of the Ginger Nuts, and the fun and games he had experienced previously.

Another more amiable fellow, much admired by The Bullpuss, was Wild Bill Hicat, the famous Scottish wildcat and adventurer. He too was in town with his people, who had brought their two affectionate dogs, Wild Bill’s Border Retrievers, and a new addition to the family, a Meerkat called Alexsandr.

Wild Bill overheard the audacious plans being concocted, with stories of pirate cats, stealing boats, and attacking the island’s inhabitants.

He was extremely worried for the safety of his old friends, and wondered how best to get a message to the island to offer help and the full assistance of his gang.

This was effected when he met ducks upon the shore of the lake, who agreed to fly the short distance to the island, search out the Ginger Nuts and Red Squirrels, wait for a reply, and return forthwith.

The island friends had heard of the impending trouble. When they heard that the best ally any cat team could wish for, was in town and offering to help, they were overjoyed and their spirits rose again.

The return message explained that they had asked the ducks to seek out the mainland squirrels to ask them to supply a sturdy raft to transport Wild Bill and his gang to the island for a war-room summit.

That same evening, the navigational red squirrels made contact and the allies set out. It was soon apparent that the weight of the dogs would slow down the raft, so Wild Bill quickly encouraged them to take a tow rope each, enter the water and begin a strong doggy paddle for the island, all guided by the squirrels.

The ensuing reunion warmed the hearts of every animal present. Aleksandr the Meerkat had originally been a wild animal, then a zoo animal, then an escaped zoo animal living with the local Scottish wildlife, including weasels, Pine Martens, badgers and Red Squirrels, before being adopted, as he had grown older, as a pet and joining Wild Bill’s family in domesticity.

Meanwhile, the mainland cats were raiding their families’ children’s dressing up chests, searching for bandannas, feathers, tunics, hats and boots. In fact, anything piratical which they were happy to share with Captain Bullpuss, who suggested small tweaks and improvements to prepare a fearsome and impressive crew.

Much discussion ensued on the merits of vessels suitable for making the crossing.

Firstly, the rafts used by the rats, as they were rescued, could be adapted and strengthened to hold heavier animals.

Investigations of the local landings, quays and boardwalks offered several ideas, including pedalos, but it was found that co-ordinating two cats to work the pedals was more than anyone could achieve.

Owl and his beautiful pea-green boat, which the cats located, hidden, just past the official landings, proved an excellent vessel, once commandeered, but, of course, could only carry a small number of cats.

Using well known raft building principles, the felines soon learnt how to construct a larger structure, capable of carrying around ten piratical cats.

Certain cats recalled that the children in their families had been attending boat building courses, and located a couple of handsome, miniature versions of rowing boats and canoes. These were also commandeered.

In the fun and excitement of dressing up as pirates, and searching for suitable vessels, the earlier animosity felt by the town cats, was diluted. They began to look upon the impending adventure as a source of amusement, to help invigorate the long summer days, whilst their own families were away on holidays, and the cats were in the care of good neighbours.

Anything to alleviate boredom!

The local ducks, always keen to keep abreast of neighbourhood activity, passed on information about the impending confrontation to the Ginger Nuts, who accepted that the remainder of their holiday was to be disturbed.

With the Red Squirrels help, the Ginger Nuts constructed fast, manoeuvrable rafts to hold one squirrel, in charge of sailing and all nautical matters, and one cat, armed to the teeth, to repel all boarders.

The Ginger Nuts required just five rafts, since the Old Furry Mopprag said she would organise a field hospital to cope with casualties.

Mungo’s raft, plus that of Bullpuss, were designed as the fastest of interceptor vessels, since the squirrels, astute little animals, spotted that these felines’ bushy tails would augment the capability of their own, acting as sails.

Wild Bill Hicat arranged his own aquatic transport. With the help of the Border Retrievers and the Meerkat, he commandeered a small but very efficient motor launch, which, once they had figured out how to start, launch and manoeuvre, formed a devastating vessel.

Early the next morning the two opposing fleets were launched and quickly engaged in the centre of the lake.

It was difficult to see what was happening amongst the caterwauling and splashing.

Several vessels capsized and needed to be set upright again.

Lots of felines suddenly found that swimming was an important skill to add to their repertoire.

The Border Retrievers were happy to form a cat rescue team, and with their strong doggy paddle, plus a firm canine grip on the scruff of a cat’s neck, brought many a bedraggled specimen back to Mopprag’s hospital camp.

The battle waged first one way, then the other.

Although there were more cats from the town, they lacked the help of the Red Squirrels, who, although unsuitable for close armed combat, used their nautical skills to out manouevre the opposition’s vessels, which ended up crashing into one another.

Just when it seemed that a deadlock had been reached, with each set of exhausted animals desperate for an end to the hostilities, an astonishing finale ensued.

Wild Bill, plus his gang, having mastered the motor launch, made an emphatic foray across the lake, sweeping all aside. They had pushed the boat up to the maximum speed allowed on the tranquil waters, and in a masterful curve, created a bow wave that swept all vessels, of both friend and foe, into a precarious state of balance. Desperate measures were taken by panicked cats that resulted in most being capsized.

The action ended and the event was abandoned as a draw.

The exhausted Ginger Nuts and the drenched, bedraggled pirate cats made their way to Mopprag’s hospitality tent where they collapsed in heaps.

The Ginger Nuts’ family could not understand how so many cats had suddenly appeared and thought that the best solution was to crack open the Pussypaws and feed the lot!

Once recovered, and among much frivolity and amiable comradeship, there was a paw-shaking all round, and an agreement was reached:

“We must do this each year, such fun!”