The Walk
Susan woke up that morning as she had done almost every morning for the past thirteen years; to the blaring alarm of screeching children. “Who needs an alarm clock?” she asked herself in the mirror as she washed away the sleep and braced for the day.
On the way downstairs, she picked up scattered clothing her brood had left behind in the bathroom, bedrooms, and even the hallway floors. ‘That must have been Derek,’ she thought. Her five-year-old son hadn’t yet learned the art of modesty. He would strip anytime, anywhere; no matter who saw.
At the bottom of the stairs, she almost tripped over John’s skateboard. “John! Pick up this stuff off the stairs or it’ll be in the garbage when you come home!”
“Sorry mom.” Her 10-year-old said, as he grabbed the death trap on wheels and flew past her into the kitchen for breakfast.
Loud music blasted from the living room TV, and she went in to shut it off and find the culprit. Ahh, yes, Dana, one of the thirteen-year-old twins this time.
“Where’s Danny?” Susan asked. The twins were rarely far apart.
“He’s like showering or something,” came the sulky reply as Susan clicked the television off.
“I told you I don’t know how many times to keep the volume below fifteen, especially in the morning. Next time you lose TV privileges for a week. Wait, Daniel is showering? Who held a gun to his head?” Susan asked, confused. Danny didn’t shower unless forced; he thought sweat and dirt were manly.
Giggling and rolling her eyes, Dana said, “It’s a girl, mom…duh. He met her at baseball practice, and he overheard her tell a friend that another boy smelled good. Now he’s obsessed with how he smells.”
“Oh god he’s discovered girls, are we ready for this?” Susan asked rhetorically. Giggling, Dana replied, “I don’t think the world will ever be ready for Danny.”
Shaking her head, Susan went to see what mess her husband had left for her in the kitchen. They had a deal; He would rise forty-five minutes earlier and fix breakfast, but she chauffeured all the kids. Some deal: she also had to clean everything.
Upon entering the kitchen, she wished for the hundredth time that she could go back to bed, and when she awoke, the mess would be gone. Fat chance.
She found Derek sitting on the floor mixing something into the dog’s food; it appeared to be soggy Frosted Flakes. ‘Ugh…just what I need; a retriever with the runs.’ she thought.
At the table she found John with Cheerios, eggs, toast, ham, sausage, and pancakes. “Jeez John, when did you turn into a linebacker?”
With a sheepish grin, he said, “Well, you know what they say…a growing boy needs fuel.”He added, “I couldn’t make up my mind, so dad made all of it for me.”
Shaking her head and not paying attention, she slipped and almost fell on an orange juice puddle.
“Who spilled this? Someone clean it up.” Immediately and predictably, the boys each blamed the other.
“Okay, you can both clean it up.” Susan said as she headed to the laundry room off the kitchen to start the first load of clothes. As she sorted them, she called out, “Derek, walk Pete, then get your stuff together for school.”
“Aw mom, but it’s John’s turn!”
“No way! I did it last night, and besides, you’re the one feeding him stupid stuff.” John shouted across the room.
Derek glared at John, who looked smug. As he took the leash off the wall peg, Derek shoved John’s head as he picked up the bowl of cereal to slurp the milk; making him slop the milk all over himself and the table. Predictably, Derek ran, but not fast enough; John slugged him in the back, knocking him to the floor.
“Mom…John punched me!” Derek whined.
“He shoved me and made me spill my milk.”
“Okay, John, you walk the dog while Derek cleans up the mess.”
Grumbling to themselves, the boys knew better than to argue; they’d end up with worse chores.
After starting the laundry, Susan went to hurry the children along and dress to take them to school.
“Dana, do you have your report in your book bag? Go change clothes, you are not wearing that skirt.”
“But mom, that’s not fair. Everyone wears these. Do you want me to look like a nun and be picked on?”
“I don’t care what everyone wears. They aren’t my kids. Also, I seriously doubt that every parent in the city allows their thirteen-year-old daughters to dress like hookers. Change now or I’ll take you to school in my robe and slippers.”
Dana stood with her arms folded, scantily clad hip cocked and rolled her eyes like only a thirteen-year-old can pull off with perfection every time.
With an evil image in mind, Susan added, “I’ll also be sure to walk you to the door and kiss you goodbye.”
Horrified at the mere idea, Dana exclaimed, “Oh God, you can’t be serious! You wouldn’t do that…” Susan grinned and walked out of the room, saying, “Try me.”
On her way up the stairs to prod Daniel along, she heard her husband Bill call for her and reversed direction. As Dana stomped out of the living room towards the stairs…no doubt to change clothes, Susan told her to pass along the message to her twin that if he didn’t start moving faster, she'd make him scrub the bathroom after school.
In the den, she found Bill dressed, but with tie askew. Frantically, he yanked a drawer open and rifled through the files. “Suzie, where’s the Hunter file…I had it right here, but now it’s gone.”
“Good Morning to you too dear, and it’s not gone. You left it in the bedroom night before last when you read it in bed.”
“Thank God, I thought one of the kids were in here messing with things again,” Bill said, rushing out the door and up the stairs.
She grabbed a fast shower and dressed. At the top of the stairs, she blew a whistle, grabbing everyone’s attention.
“Car leaves in Five minutes, be in it, or spend the day cleaning the basement!”
Frantic footsteps raced through the house as four kids tried to gather everything and run out the door fast enough. “Works like a charm, every time.” She said, as even Pete ran for the door.
At the door, she made sure everyone had their bookbags and whatever else they needed for the day. As Bill rushed past, she grabbed him, straightened his tie, and gave him a kiss.
“Sorry honey, I’m gonna be late. I’m due in court in thirty minutes. Tonight, we’ll spend some time together. Oh, and don’t forget the dry cleaning.” He said, giving her a peck on the cheek and jogging to his car.
She got in the van and started the engine as Derek came flying out the door, struggling with his sports bag, book bag, MP3 player, and box that contained his science project. He jumped into the back of the van and slammed the door, just as she put it into gear.
“That was close, Derek…again. When you leave the van, the MP3 player stays here.”
He grumbled a bit but understood the rules.
Dana and Daniel were first out at the closer middle school. “Mom, don’t forget I have baseball today.” Daniel said as he hopped out.
“Yeah, and I have band.” Dana added, following her twin.
“Yes, I know. Have a great day. I love you both. See you later.”
John and Derek were next. Next year, the kids would be in three different schools when the twins entered high school. She shuddered at the thought.
“Bye, Mom,” Derek said, jumping out and slamming the door.
“Nice try pal, hand it over.” Grinning, Derek handed her the MP3 player through the open window. He even gave her a kiss…after checking to be sure no one watched, of course. John yelled his goodbye as he leaped on his skateboard and sailed off towards the building.
Alone At last, she took a breath and savored the moment before starting on her errands. She turned the van around and headed for the grocery store.
Once finished with the shopping, she went home to unpack the groceries and grab Pete for his visit to the vet for a checkup, shots, and grooming. Pete was reluctant at first, but as usual, she wrestled him into the van, and he calmed down when they arrived, and he recognized Dr. Armstrong’s office. Pete loved Dr. Armstrong; He played with the dogs and always had wonderful treats. After warning him about Pete’s unusual breakfast, Susan promised to pick Pete up at five, and headed for the dry cleaners.
After the dry cleaners, she stopped to have the oil changed, and tires rotated. Last on the list was a quick stop at the post office for stamps and envelopes. Finally, she went home and start cleaning.
Before she had to pick up the kids, she managed to do four loads of laundry, clean the kitchen and living rooms. She paid the bills, sewed the small rip in Dana’s band uniform, and even squeezed in a few minutes for a chat with a neighbor friend.
She picked John up and dropped him off at his Karate lesson, then picked up Derek and Danny after their baseball practices, but Dana ran late getting out of band, so they had to wait a bit. During the wait, Susan listened to the boys talking about practice and arguing over the best pitcher in history.
She dropped the kids off at home, giving explicit instructions, and rushed to pick Pete up. With her last chauffer job finished for the day, she decided to take a few minutes to herself in the park.
Pete ran off chasing birds, but never strayed very far. She relished the quiet moments; she rarely had them these days.
She thought about her hectic days and boring nights. Bill rarely touched her anymore and when he did, there was no fire, no passion. It felt to both like more of a duty than pleasure. She longed for passion again.
Her days were filled with cleaning, errands, and fighting children, homework, and extracurricular activities. So many things, so little time…where did it all go? She wondered who she was now; where did the carefree, fun youth go?
Pete ran off after a stray cat, headed towards the interstate. Susan followed, wondering what it would be like to just keep walking. What sort of people would she meet? What stories could the broken asphalt and double yellow lines tell?
Lost in her thoughts, she didn’t realize how far she’d walked until the blast of an air horn jerked her out of her ruminations. She leaped to the shoulder seconds before the black and blue Peterbilt ended her thoughts forever. Shaken, she leaned against the dirty steel guardrail to catch her breath. Pete sat at her feet, looking at her with his golden head cocked up; he seemed to be asking her what her problem was.
Once her legs stopped shaking, she stepped over the rail and walked down the embankment towards the small creek at its base. She’d let Pete have a drink, and head back home. The cool, clear water invited her to sit and enjoy a few more quiet moments while soaking her feet.
She awoke to find Pete licking her face. “Damn, I’m sorry, boy, must’ve dozed off. Let’s go home.” She got up, gently pushing the big dog off her and stretched. Looking around, she noticed something pink floating in the water about twenty yards downstream.
Deciding to investigate, she put her shoes back on and walked along the bank. The pink object that had caught her eye floated closer, but never close enough for Susan to make out what it was. She watched it lazily riding the gentle flow of the creek, bobbing and weaking. Soon she thought it would join a larger river and the flow would be faster. She wondered how it would feel to be that thing…whatever it was, just floating along without a worry, having no idea where it would end up or what happened to it. Completely at the mercy of the elements.
Eventually, she drew close enough and waded out into the deepening water to satisfy her curiosity. Her heart caught in her throat as she neared, because it resembled an infant. Splashing and yelling, she stumbled her way through the now almost waist-high water. When she reached it, she almost fell into the water as her fearful hysterics gave way to laughing. It was only a doll, after all. She picked it up, smiling at the pretty pink dress and wide blue eyes.
Pete gave a bark as he paddled around her. “It’s okay, Mom’s being a ninny; it’s only a child’s doll.” Holding the soggy plastic baby, she wondered where it had come from, and what it had seen. By the looks of her, she had traveled quite a way.
Susan made her way back to the riverbank, and eventually to a road. Somehow, the winding river had led her away from the highway, and now she wasn’t sure where she was, or which direction to go. It was nearly dark now, so she walked, hoping someone would come along.
After about forty-five minutes, she came to a familiar sign. It read, “Gray County” She had walked into the next county. Tired, hungry, and still wet, she looked down at the doll she still carried, then to the path ahead. Despite being very uncomfortable, the call of the empty road and all the ringing questions in her head, she pushed on. She’d call home later for a ride. For now, the urge to simply…walk was too great to ignore.
Finding a barn about an hour later, she realized that she’d never find someone this late to give her a ride, or the use of a phone. She didn't see a house nearby…but then again, the darkness was so complete she couldn’t see far beyond her outstretched hand. She had followed a small access road about a half hour before, thinking it would lead to a house…but no luck so far. She’d bed down tonight in the barn and in the morning, find the way home.
Entering the mostly empty barn, she found an old pair of man’s overalls hanging on a peg near the door, a half-empty bag of dog food that looked like it had been there since the Obama administration, and a rusty knife. Pete sniffed the bag and pawed at it until he knocked it over. Apparently, he decided it was okay to eat and dug in hungrily. With the odd things Derek fed him, Susan didn’t think the old dog food would hurt him.
She walked back outside and rummaged nearby until she found kindling and some decent sized branches. She also found an apple tree. Most of the apples had fallen off the tree, but she found several that hadn’t started to rot yet.
Making three trips to the barn, she got enough to start a fire with the lighter she carried for the rare cigarette she smoked. Stripping off her damp and clingy clothes, she hung what she could on the old barn door near the small campfire to dry. Though she didn’t want to think of what might be inside the overalls, she liked the thought of sleeping in wet clothes less. After shaking them out in case of spiders or worse hiding inside, she donned them and sat next to Pete. She lay enjoying the warmth from the blaze and ate apples, occasionally sharing a piece with Pete.
“Well, boy, it appears we’re camping. Keep an ear out for trouble.” She said, petting him and drifting off to sleep.
The next morning Pete awoke her again by licking her face. The sun was barely breaking over the treetops to the east, painting the sky with red and orange strokes. Gently, she pushed him away and shivered in the chilly morning air.
“Lord, how beautiful that is, I need to wake up this early more often.” Pete didn’t care about the sky, no matter how beautiful it was, he only wanted water.
She walked around the barn to look for a house. No such luck. She did, however, find an old well. The bucket lay forgotten next to it. The sides were rusty, and it had a few small holes, but it would have to do, she thought. She cranked the handle until the end of the frayed rope came up. Tying the bucket onto it as best she could, she lowered it again, hoping the well wasn’t dry. When the line went as far as it would go, she cranked it the opposite way and found it heavier to pull up…"maybe we're in luck after all" she said to Pete as he stood with his front paws against the rim and peered down wagging his tail and barking.
Disgusted by the dirty water, her thirst overrode any thoughts she might have had about the danger from it.
“Well Pete, I guess we drink dirty water. If the bucket wasn’t full of holes, I’d try to use it to boil the water first. Oh, well.” Dipping her hands into it, she took several mouthfuls before stepping back to let Pete drink his fill.
The small dirt road she’d followed petered out into an overgrown brush not far behind the barn. She barely made out where it once lay. Susan figured that if a house lay back there, it wouldn’t help her any. This place had been deserted for a long time.
She breakfasted on more apples and changed back into her own stiff clothes but kept the knife and overalls; after all, it was chilly, and she didn’t know how much walking she’d have to do.
After putting out the fire, she and Pete headed back down the path, whistling a cheerful tune and he trotted alongside her as if they hadn’t a care in the world. For the first time, she felt free. She felt completely at peace, though she wasn’t sure why.
All day they walked, taking small turnoffs as they came, unconcerned now with getting home, only the need to walk. They dined at a river on blackberries and walnuts Susan had found. Walking along the river, Pete occasionally swam around in it, playing with the fish; or trying to, anyway. They found a medium-sized clearing and made camp for the night. Once again, she made a fire, though a bigger one than the night before. The dog curled up against her stomach and she stroked and talked to him until she drifted off.
Later, she was startled out of a pleasant dream by Pete’s snarling. She sat up, instantly alert, as He never snarled. He stood in front of her, slightly crouched, his hackles raised. The fire had died down to little more than embers, but she registered a shape fifteen feet from the protective dog.
“Who are you? What do you want?” She called out with more strength than she felt. She hoped she sounded confident, and not as scared as she was.
“Jess ole Joe here Missy, who’re you?” he asked with a slur.
“My…my name’s Susan…what do you want?”
The man moved closer. Pete gave a warning growl, and the man stumbled a bit, but stopped. “Don’t pay me no mind, missy, you here alone? I don’ see no man around…” Carefully, she pulled the rusty knife closer and slipped it into her right hand; she didn’t like the feel of this drunken man.
“Go away before my husband gets back from using the bathroom, or you’ll be sorry.” She replied.
The man chuckled then said, “You ain’t got no hub’ban ‘ere, who you tryin’ ta kid?”
He took a step closer, and Pete jumped at him, his mouth turned up in the nastiest snarl she’d heard yet. Before he landed on the man, the drunk ducked low and to the right, going under the enraged dog. He landed hard and turned for another attack, but the man was ready this time and delivered a brutal kick to Pete’s muzzle as he pounced again. He yelped with pain and flew backward, crashing and sliding on the rough ground. Susan screamed his name and ran to the dog, but the drunk caught her and shoved her down, falling atop her.
He fumbled, trying to pull her overalls off, and Susan struck out with both fists. She had forgotten the knife she still held, but the rusty blade caught him on his left shoulder, tearing a hole in his overcoat, shirt, and flesh beneath. He screamed in rage and in his momentary shock, and she pushed out from under him and scooted backwards.
“Get away from me or I’ll be using your liver for fish bait tomorrow, asshole.” Though still scared, the rage was stronger, and if he came at her again, she would gut him. He growled in rage and pain and leaped at her.
Susan tensed and closed her eyes, ready to stab him when he landed. She heard a bloodcurdling snarl, then a scream and a thud. She opened her eyes and saw Pete attacking again; he’d bitten the guy’s arm and now had him pinned to the ground with his teeth sunk deep into the man’s forearm. The man flailed helplessly with his other hand, trying to hit him, but the dog didn’t seem to even feel the feeble blows.
“Pete, stop!” She yelled, afraid for her friend. The man cried out, “Okay, Okay, call ‘im off, get ‘im off me!” The protective dog cautiously let go, and backed away, ready to attack again. The man cried unintelligibly and crawled away from them.
Susan glared as he went and gradually relaxed as she stroked Pete’s wet fur. When the man had gone far beyond her view, she got up and added many more branches to the fire, then checked Pete’s mouth. Blood colored his face and chest, but she believed most of it belonged to the would-be rapist. She led him down to the river and washed him as well as she could. She found a shallow cut under his jaw from the kick and two broken teeth, but otherwise he seemed alright.
“Poor Pete, I’m sorry, buddy, but I’m so proud of you. You really took care of that asshole. From now on you only eat primo food; hamburgers at least once a week, too.” Pete licked her face clean, then rolled over on his back to revel in her attention.
The next day, they walked until they reached a large city. Susan found a fast-food place and bought six cheeseburgers…two for her and four for Pete, and cokes for both. Pete, grateful for the sugary treat, lapped his up quickly. She cleaned herself in the bathroom and changed into the sweatshirt and jeans she bought at a nearby shopping center, stuffing the old things into the shopping bag. She walked on through the ever-degenerating streets. The thought of calling home or finding a ride never entered her mind.
That evening she found herself in a neighborhood littered with trash, broken-down cars, and houses, which looked ready to fall over at any time. Kids no more than eight or nine years old were standing around corners wearing expensive clothing and jewelry. If these kids, and presumably their families, have so much money…, why don’t they fix up their homes, their streets? Some called out to her, offering anything she wanted…and more.
Hookers working their trade and bums drinking and sleeping right on the sidewalks shocked and disgusted her. She found a dingy motel and rented a room for the night, though she would’ve preferred sleeping on the grass then on the nasty bed she found inside…but felt the flimsy lock on the door was better than nothing.
Susan showered in the small grimy bathroom and tried not to listen to the grunts and thuds coming through the walls. If she didn’t know better, she would’ve thought a murder was being committed…slowly. Through the long night, there were many loud curses and shouts coming from the room to the right of hers. Pete didn’t like it either and kept whining and growling as the noises got louder and the thumping became more rhythmic.
In the morning, she went to check out and find some coffee and breakfast for her and Pete. On the way out, she bumped into her loud neighbor, and stared in shock. The girl couldn’t have been more than twelve or thirteen. Bruises and a fat lip marred an otherwise stunning face. The girl wore a black leather miniskirt and fishnet stockings, hardly a top at all, basically a thin strip of red cloth. She didn’t even have breasts yet.
“What’s your name sweetie?” Susan asked.
“Screw off lady, if you want me, it’ll be double. Talk to Tito when he gets back.” The doe-eyed girl snarled.
Shocked and disgusted, Susan couldn’t believe what she was hearing. This child thought she was propositioning her!
“I don’t want you. I think you should be in school or something…do your parents know where you’ve been? Can I help you?”
“Duh, my mother got me this gig. Her boyfriend, Tito, is my pimp. You don’t know shit, so back off, lady; I don’t need no help from you.”
Susan wasn’t sure what to do, but she couldn’t let this child go on selling her body like this. If her mother really was involved…then she needed her ass kicked, and the kid taken away.
“Look, a kid your age should be in school and worrying about the latest gossip, and whether a boy likes you…not venereal diseases and pregnancies and abusive johns.”
“Whatever. I live in the real world, that shit don’t mean nothing to me.” She said and turned to walk away.
Susan turned and ran across the street to the gas station and called the police. She reported what happened, but the officer didn’t sound concerned or even as if it was worth putting his doughnut down for.
“Look lady, I’ll send a car around, but chances are the kid will be long gone before it gets there, and besides, we handle probably a thousand cases like hers. We arrest the ones we can, and social services take the juveniles…but it doesn’t do much good. The johns get out of jail and the kids run away from social services, anyway. I’m sorry, but that’s the way it is.”
“Well, something needs to change; you have to do something for these kids…”
“Lady, I’m sorry, but we try…there’s just not enough working programs or resources.”
“So, we merely ignore it then? Simply go on about our lives and forget that minors are being sold for sex or drugs?” Susan fairly screamed into the phone and hung up on the overworked officer.
She stormed back across the street, but the kid was gone. Disgusted by the attitude and the knowledge that however pathetic the sentiment, the cop was right, and she and Pete went on their way. The sad truth is…the system is screwed up.
That evening they were on the outskirts of the city when flashing lights of many police cars ahead caught her attention. She’d been lost in her thoughts of the girl and the degradation of society. The way people take for granted what they have while turning a blind eye to the filth outside their manicured lawns.
As she neared, she saw several cars off the road and assumed there had been an accident. An officer stopped her and questioned her about her business. Susan explained that she was walking and asked what happened.
“I can’t tell you that, ma’am, but I suppose you’ll see it on the news soon enough.”
Looking around, four men standing around something on the ground caught her eye… something wearing black and red.
“Oh, my God!” Susan shouted and ran toward the men. The officer yelled for her to stop, but she ignored him.
“I talked to her this morning!” she shouted as two officers grabbed her before she could get too close.
“You know this kid? Come over here and sit down. We’ll need your report.” One said, leading her to a patrol car.
She explained about seeing the girl earlier and gave them the mother and boyfriend’s names. Finally, they loaded the dead girl onto a gurney and into an ambulance. Before they covered her with the sheet, Susan could see the blood covering her small body.
“Please…give this to her. I know it’s too late, but every little girl should have a doll. Please.” Susan dug in the bag and pulled out the lost doll.
The officer considered her for a moment, then nodded and took it from her.
“I got a girl about her age…I understand.” He walked towards the ambulance, staring down at the doll, lost in his own thoughts. He was probably thinking about his own daughter and how easily that could’ve been her lying in the weeds.
They took her to the station to make a formal report on what little she knew of the child and where she was last seen. After another hour, she only wanted to be home in her hectic, but normal, life and hug her babies.
One officer was kind enough to take her to a car rental place. She rented a car, and on the trip back, thought about her adventure. Susan had only been gone four days, but to her it seemed an eternity. She’d count her blessings each day and not ignore the problems anymore. She’d do what she could to try to help.
Back home at last, she walked in the door and the familiar chaos of arguing children, blaring TV and toys lying about greeted her. In the living room, she found Dana and John watching a music video, Daniel on the phone, and Derek listening to his MP3s. How…normal it all felt.
Bill came down the stairs carrying his coat and briefcase.
“Hi honey, you’re late, the kids caught rides. I have a dinner meeting tonight. I’m sorry, but I’ll be home early. Hey, did you remember the dry cleaning?”
Susan smiled and adjusted her husband’s tie as she had almost every day for the last fifteen years. “Yes, Your things are in the closet. Have I told you lately how much I love you? How happy I am for our life together?”
Bill’s face softened, and he looked at her…really at her for the first time in a long while.
“I’m happy to hear it. I worried that we’d gotten stale. I love you too baby, and I promise I’ll cut down the hours …we do need more time together. What brought this on suddenly, though?”
Stretching up to kiss him with a passion she thought was gone, she said, “Nothing dear…I only wanted you to know. Let’s just say that my walk taught me a few things. God, How I missed… us. Have a good night…and hurry home; I’ll be waiting.”
Bill kissed her again, thinking of what lay ahead and almost called off the meeting. He pulled his mouth away reluctantly, and with a leering smile said, “Alright, I’ll finish as soon as I can…then we’ll start on the…quality time.”
After Bill had gone, she started picking up the littered toys and clothing. Sometimes you never know how good you have it until it’s gone, or you get a look at what’s on the other side of the fence. That old saying is right…the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. Falling asleep on her walk turned out to be a wonderful learning experience.
The End
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