Only she remembered what happened on her wedding day.

She stared at the picture she was holding, the frame golden, an unknown man holding her hand in it. 

Lara had spent the night in her elderly house, but she hardly slept at all. She had wandered in the room for hours, searched her memory for anyone who resembled her husband, and got lost in those dark and forgotten fantasies everybody told her to forget.

He had been a sweet man.

She sighed and put the photo back on the shelf. Then, she picked it back up and clenched it tight.

Lara walked down the stairs to meet her mom. With the photo in her hand, she could prove everything to her. The flowers, the dress, the kiss - everything was present in it.

“Good morning, you look like you’ve slept even worse than I.” Her mom stroked Lara’s hair and handed her a coffee. The cup was warm and smelled like dirt.

“A good morning to you, too,” she said. “Do you remember that I told you I had a picture of my wedding? You know, the one you didn’t believe?”

“Oh, I know. You were deep down in your own world again.” Her mom began to smile. A person who had not known her might have mistaken it for a gentle smile, a well-meaning one, a smile that maybe was a bit weird due to the early hour.

But Lara knew better; her eyes shone with concern. “See!”

Lara presented her the frame as if it were a present from a different world. Her dream to be believed seemed to be rushing towards her. “See?” she repeated.

Lara's knees grew watery again; she also didn’t know what had happened that day for certain, but she knew she had a ceremony with the unknown men’s family and her mom. 

She used to have a ring! 

Her mom swallowed as if she was trying to make room for the words, and decided to keep some of the sentences behind. “What do I have to see in the picture?”

“My wedding! You see the dress, the ring. It was a sunny day, probably a year ago. Don’t you remember? You were there.”

Her mother’s head inclined. “I just see flowers: roses.” Lara looked at the picture again, and it hadn’t changed even a bit. Then, she stared at the glimmering ring on her finger in the photo, which was an eighteenth-century diamond her husband had given her, a holdover from the time when his family was royal. So many years ago, before the “incident” had happened, which made them unregistered citizens of America. Each time her unknown prince hugged her so tightly she couldn’t breathe, she forgot about everything. Oh god, she wished she could remember more. The man was legit.

“You must be joking.”

“No, darling, I am not. I could book you a new session with the therapist?”

Lara twitched her lips, paused for a second, and nodded. Maybe it was all in her head. Those fantasies were nothing more than a window to insanity that had held her captive for too long. Time to look at them for what they were.

Then, her mom came closer and embraced her, fiddling with her front locks. Lara looked up with moist eyes. She felt the phone of her mother vibrating in the back pocket.

“Sure?” she whispered. Lara had never felt that small before, even when she had gotten lost in the mall and people had to carry the crying twelve-year-old to a parent.

Her mom looked down at her fingers again as if they were covered in blood.

Then, she hissed in a sudden, careful undertone, things she had previously said aloud.

“Sweety, that man you imagine isn’t real… so is the wedding. Do you remember the hospital?” She held each syllable for a second too long in the air. 

Lara knew what she meant. The hospital was made for insanity, mad people, people like her.

Many relatives had pointed it out to Lara, helped her with a tender, loving eye. It hadn’t been enough just yet.

The final step to leading a normal life again, she had to take herself, and she knew she could do it. If she could be confident in knowing she wasn’t married, the roses her mother saw would have fewer thorns. She had played with that idea for a long time. She wanted the wonder to stop. For always.

But no, oh no. She wouldn’t do it for her mom, but for herself. “I am ready to change,” she muttered. 

“Oh, darling!” Her mother’s face lit up. They didn’t have to grasp for air anymore; it seemed better, and Lara was able to smile back. She was glad she had finally taken the step to recovery and went upstairs to pack her bags, away from her own madness.

But her mother stayed behind in the living room; she had jerked her phone out of the back pocket the moment Lara left, called the man’s parents. “Lara is gone.”

She hummed a melody of “yes”, “uh-huh,” and “hmmm” during the call before her throat squeezed shut. “What do you mean? You promised me fifty percent of the profit if I gave you the ring and made sure there were no witnesses. Why don’t you want to give it to me now?”

Her hands were trembling in the rhythm of regret. But it hadn’t been regret, it was fear, and Lara wasn’t here anymore to protect her. The hospital was the place her daughter could forget about the man and the wedding, which shouldn’t have happened in the first place. It was also the place where she couldn’t tell anybody about it, and what happened.

Her mom snatched the ring out of her bra and fiddled with it. Lara had already left. 

Lara had already stepped into the car that had picked her up. She hadn’t seen that moment; 

This could not happen. Family is important, but the ring- the ring was priceless as it glittered in her hands. The moment that the family told her about the plan, morels hadn’t seemed important anymore. It wasn’t possible she had done it all for nothing. The ring was laughing bitterly. She knew they were going to pick it up in a few hours.

The deep knife turned around in her stomach. She had participated in the murder of Lara, everybody knows, and she had been blinded by money. Everything she would never do again seemed to echo from the walls.

But you can only make a woman stop talking by stopping her pulse. She stood still for a moment, feeling little beads of sweat form on her forehead and in the hollows of her temples. 

She had robbed her daughter and man of a future, hoping they would meet again in the sky, and if the dead really were all-seeing, it was unclear what they would be thinking now. She wrenched the expensive ring where it all had started and hesitated. It would all have been for nothing. She couldn’t let go. Maybe she could put a pillow over it at night?

But if she did so, she would never be free of the diamond and what she had done.

It must vanish. Gone. Words she screamed with tearss flaring down.

Then, she decided to put it in her mouth. Cold metal with the taste of blood made her teeth shiver. 

If she didn’t even get the money, no one would. 

The diamond burned as she swallowed, but she was not sure if she would ever be able to sleep again. In the sky, they wouldn’t meet.

They don’t let murderers into heaven.