Only she remembered what happened on her wedding, and what sweet memories they were! Here she was a nobody make up artist, getting married to one of the hottest producers in Hollywood.

It wasn’t that she loved him, hell, she could barely stand him, no, it was for the root of all evil, money, and lots of it. The fool actually believed in love at first sight, well that was his downfall.

The idea came from her bestie, Guns at a party, “Marry the guy and take him for all he’s worth, but make the wedding totally memorable, rob all them rich snobs fuckin’ blind!”

The plan was foolproof, Guns had a home girl who worked at a catering company, who would roofie all the champagne, and the drinks of her coworkers, to knock everyone out. After that Guns would have a few friends come in to swipe all the jewelry.

Guns got her nickname because she had biceps that Hulk Hogan would envy, biceps she got pumping iron up in San Quentin, she also came back out with three tear drop tats.

Guns is a bad ass bitch, don’t fuck with her. So Daddy Warbucks let me handle the planning, he hired a wedding planner for me to work with. I made sure to pick the catering company and venue that Guns told me to hire.

The venue doesn’t have spy cameras in it, Guns knows her shit. We been friends since first grade. Anyway, the wedding reception ended up costing like $50,000! Daddy Warbucks didn’t even blink, just wrote a check to the planner.

I don’t even make that much money in a year, it’s insane in the membrane. So I have this gorgeous ass wedding gown that was like another ten Gs on top of the 50k.

The church was crazy, Daddy insisted on Saint John’s Cathedral, the place is amazeballs, it was built like a million years ago with lots of art and statues. And the ceremony, they had the kid with the smokey thing walking around to make the place smell good.

Guns was my main girl for the wedding, so was my sister, two of my cousins, and two of my home girls. Daddy Warbucks had Keanu Reeves as his main dude. That was amazeballs, I love his flicks!

The preacher dude was dressed to kill with all the fanciness of his costume. My daddy couldn’t be there to give me away, him doin’ 25 to life and all, so my best cuz, Sledgehammer did it.

My cousin got that name after a brawl in junior high, the punk ass he beat down said getting hit by my cuz felt like getting hit with a fuckin’ sledgehammer! He looked good in the tux Daddy bought him too! He sure had Guns lookin’ at him.

Guns got to pick out the dresses for my girls, they were a dark ass blue with no sleeves, did I mention she loves showing off her arms? The preacher said his shit, me and Daddy said “I do, and he put this huge ass diamond ring on my finger.

We rode in this nice limo to the reception, there were two more limos for the rest of the people in the wedding, talk about fancy! Sledge hated it, he wanted to roll on his Harley, he even rides in the rain, he never owned no car, after he got his first bike.

The party started good, the catering peeps served up some killer steaks and seafood, Sledge was funny, he stole his sister’s steak and gave her his seafood. Oh my Gawd, the fuckin’ cake was amazeballs, it was like 7 layers with sticks separating the layers, me and Daddy got the top lair to split.

After the dinner the boring speeches and toasts started, and the special champagne hit the tables, it didn’t take long before people started nodding off, me and my homies all got normal drinks, so we watched as everyone went down.

We took everything them rich fools had, we didn’t take no credit cards though, just the cash and bling. Man, Keanu only had a cheap looking ring and like 5 bucks in his wallet, the dude is different I took his ring and put it in his shirt pocket.

We picked them rich fools clean, lots of cash and lots of bling because this was a huge event! Oh yeah, Sledge started ripping open all the gifts, it was a bunch of high dollar shit too, sledge knows a guy in Vegas who can turn the bling into other bling and move it across the country for a cut.

Guns had her bro roll up to haul off the loot before we all drank enough of the special champagne to get sleepy, that fool Sledge chugged a full bottle in one shot! Anyway, we just kind of buzzed along until everyone started waking up.

Everything went great except for one thing, this like 100 year old fool died. Someone called 911 and the pigs showed up, they sent like the entire LAPD because of how many rich fools were there.

They had me and my homies piss in cups too! They wanted to arrest us but they had no proof, and no evidence. They know we did it, we know they know, but they can’t do shit about it.

It was fuckin wild hearin’ all these rich fools talking about insurance claims and shit, who knew that insurance would cover jewelry? Not me, that’s for sure! Oh yeah, the catering girl can’t be hooked with us because she ain’t from our hood.

Guns met her wife in the joint, and had her little bro do the meet n greet to set this shit up. The pigs ain’t got shit, but I kind of feel bad about the dead fool. But he was like a million years old.

Guns got with her bro two weeks later, we banked like 200 large in cash and the dude in Vegas thinks he can do his shit and get us another 100 large after all the bling sells.

Daddy wants to hire my cuz as his body guard, Sledge just laughed as Daddy kept upping the pay. He got up to 5k a night before Sledge got bored and walked away. Guns is makin’ more plans for later, this shit is gonna be fun!