“Some girls make it out. Others leave in silence. Some leave in bags.”
It was raining when I got the call.
Dee was sweeping up hair and I was scrolling through nail inspo on my phone when it buzzed—unknown number, but I recognized the voice before the words even landed.
“This Nell?”
“Yeah. Who’s this?”
“This Detective Raines. You listed as next of kin for a Keondra Valentine?”
I didn’t answer right away.
Next of kin?
Raines cleared his throat. “She’s alive. For now. OD’d in a motel off 95th. Paramedics got there just in time.”
I closed my eyes.
Keke.
She looked like a ghost under hospital lights. Pale. Sunken in. Wires taped to her chest like they were the only things keeping her tethered to this world.
She was half-awake when I walked in.
“Nell…” she croaked.
I sat beside her. Took her hand. It was cold. She winced like she was embarrassed to be seen.
“I was gonna quit,” she whispered. “I was. I just needed one last hit to feel strong enough to walk away.”
I blinked fast. Swallowed the lump rising in my throat.
“You don’t have to lie to me,” I said.
She laughed, breathless and dry. “Not lyin’. Just dreaming.”
The nurse gave me a bag of her belongings. Purse, a torn wig, a burner phone, and a small, dirty notebook. Same kind I used to carry.
When I got home, I opened it.
The pages were full of unfinished plans:
“Find somewhere safe to sleep for two nights.”
“Buy Narcan, just in case.”
“Call Nell when I get clean.”
I curled up on my couch, notebook in my lap, heart in pieces.
Keke was the strongest person I knew.
But even strength has limits when the world keeps pushing you into corners with no doors.
I visited her every day that week. Brought her fresh socks. A new scarf. Lotion. She wouldn’t let anyone else touch her hair but me.
“Remember when we used to sit in Marcus’s car after jobs and swear we were gonna open a bakery?”
I smiled. “You were gonna make lemon bars. I was gonna handle the cash register.”
“Still could,” she said, weak but hopeful.
But two days later, she checked herself out.
No warning.
Left a note with the nurse.
“Don’t come looking for me. I love you, Nell. But I’m tired of trying to be someone I’m not.”
Dee found me crying in the back room the next morning.
“I can’t save her,” I whispered. “I tried. I thought if I made it out, she would too.”
Dee sat beside me. “Some people don’t wanna be saved. Not yet. Maybe not ever.”
“But she’s all I had.”
“No,” Dee said, gripping my hand. “You have you now. And you’re not gonna fall with her.”
That night, I opened my notebook and crossed out another line:
Step 6: Let someone see the real you—if they earn it.
✅ Elijah.
✅ Keke.
Then I wrote:
Step 7: Forgive yourself for surviving.
Because sometimes the cost of escape is leaving pieces of yourself—and the people you love—behind.
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