The long awaited hour was finally here but it was just a dream and nothing more. I had a lot of dreams but never have I felt more like a stranger to myself than now. Three years ago in 1850 Is where it all started for me and the people that I dragged in. In 1850, me and my sweet girlfriend of 9 years, Elizabeth James decided to move from Vancouver, British Columbia to Barkerville, British Columbia. We both had our reasons to move but as I later found out, She was more invested in me following my dreams than any of her own. 


Elizabeth or ‘Lizzy’ was raised in the Vancouver neighborhood I moved to when I was thirteen. I met her on the first day of highschool when I asked her to borrow a pen for our class assignment. I told her that I forgot mine at home but the truth is my mother could not afford to buy me school supplies that year. We started dating later in my teenage years after we started walking home together after school. 


My father died when I was six so, it was hard for my mom to raise me and buy me what I needed. When I was fifteen I began running low risk errands for some of the local mafia gangsters. I kept what I was doing a secret for obvious reasons but I was never threatened to run any errands. I was free to choose whether or not i wanted to help and some of the men later became like siblings I never had. Nobody knew that I worked for the mafia, not my mom, my girlfriend, or anyone. When I asked Lizzy if she would move to Barkerville with me, she thought I got the money working at the cinema. I could have worked there but the mafia payed better and the jobs were easier so I never got around to applying.  


Lizzy was born in a middle class family but she still worked hard for every penny at one of the popular local bakery’s. Me and Lizzy’s dad didn’t speak much at all. In fact, he made it very clear through his tone and cruel sense of humour, he thought Lizzy could do better. And when Lizzy announced that we are moving he went as far too say that it was my life’s mission to ruin his life. 


The 1850’s was dominated by Gold and Barkerville, BC had a finders keepers rule they advertised in the local newspaper. I was never so optimistic as when the world stopped that hot august day. My eyes became hyper focused on everything in my path and my creativity started to sprout from seeds of moving to a city where I was bound to find a fortune in gold. 


I waited at the front door of the bakery that Lizzy worked at. My plan was to ask her to move, using all the charisma I could muster up. She had a life In Vancouver that she did not want to leave but she agreed to go because she said her life was nothing without me. Three months later we headed to the quiet gold town of Barkerville, B.C. with nothing but the money we had saved up and the clothes on our back. 


We rented a small apartment right above a saloon in Barkerville. Me and Lizzy spent the first night playing the radio out loud, drinking booze, and hand making flyers to find some men who could work for me as miners. One of the reasons I chose Barkerville is because they didn’t have a lot of laws for miners, it was pretty much first come first serve. My plan was to hire four to six trustworthy people who would work for a daily wage. I had no experience in mining but I was willing to spend every dollar I had on the mining equipment. 


The following day I woke up early and went to the local mining equipment store. Ray Chapman was the friendly, heavy-set shop owner I spoke with and left a few flyers to find my crew. I told him that I was new and he offered to answer all of my questions. He told me, exactly where to find it, where to sell it and how much to sell it for. I bought axes, helmets, filters, and suits for me and three others. 


The next day when I returned to Ray’s store there was three men older than myself waiting outside who were ready to work. The men seemed confident they knew what they were doing and one of them said they knew somewhere to find one-thousand dollars a day in gold. I thought since these men said they were experienced that they could be trusted.  


I went home that day and saw Lizzy’s face so eager to ask how much Gold we found. I told her we found $1,000 in gold that day but truthfully we didn’t find any. I hated myself for lying but I didn’t have the courage to tell her after seeing how happy she was for me. I told myself the next day I would make $2,000 and then never really lied to Lizzy. But the next day passed, and thirty more after that. I made nothing in the gold mining business and it was becoming more clear that the men I hired were alcoholics who claimed they knew more than they actually did. 


Everyday when I came home I would see the smile on Lizzy’s face when i told her how much we made that day. I became better at crafting believable random numbers in my head but no better at being honest with the woman I wanted to have a family with. I spent more nights at the saloon in the last 15 days then I ever have. Usually I’m not a big drinker but I convinced myself the creativity from the alcohol would eventually fix the trouble i got myself into. 


Another 14 days passed with no gold and close to nothing left to pay my workers. Convinced we were rich, Lizzy spent all of her savings on beautiful clothing, gifts, and home decor. I sold the equipment I bought back to Ray for $30. He told me that he did not want to buy it but he could sympathize with my situation of not finding any gold like I planned. 


The $30 ray gave me was all I had left. I went to the florist and bought a boucay of flowers for Lizzy hoping that she would forgive me for all the lying i’ve been doing. I gave her the flowers and explained to her that I lost all of our money and never found a spec of gold. I asked for her forgiveness but it was too late. The next day she took a train back home to Vancouver and never wanted to speak to me again. 


I’ve had a lot of dreams before this, but never was I so optimistic and wrong. I bet everything on a risk. I knew it was a gamble to begin with but the real problem was when i decided to bet with my own sense of pride and integrity. When I lied and refused to confront the darkness that I was creating so I could hold on to my dream.