Sunlight beams down on my face, the heat radiating across my skin and making my eyes squint. The ground beneath me is solid, weeds and flowers swaying in the breeze that gives me temporary relief from the sweltering temperature. I sit up, observing my surroundings. A field. In the middle of nowhere. I get to my feet and notice these fields go on for miles, never-ending it seems. I turn one way, then the other, moving in circles to look for any sense of familiarity. That’s when I see her in the distance. Her dark brown hair moves with the wind as she spins, the glow of the sun making her aura reach towards me. She smiles. Hooks a finger at me, calling me to her. She’s fully naked, dancing through the fields, her eyes catching mine while she moves gracefully away from me, as if asking me to chase her. And I do.

Her perfect curves, the warm, silky color of her skin, moves me forward. I step through changing flowers: dandelions, poppies, sunflowers. Every step closer to her makes my heart beat faster against my chest, my brain tingling with euphoria. Peace. Like I’m floating in time, on a constant high that I never want to come down from. She’s still smiling at me. Our distance apart grows shorter, her dancing slows. She looks up and my eyes follow her path to a darkening sky. I feel a few drops on my face before the tears of Heaven fall down on us. My gaze shifts back down to her, looking through the rain, and she’s no longer unclothed. Standing still in a plain white sundress. My heart rate slows, growing cold, turning blue. My mind is a black hole, lost in these fields. She’s not smiling at me anymore.

Her hand reaches out to me when I’m near, and I take it. We’re both drenched in nature’s sadness, but I twirl her around and pull her to me in an attempt to feel her warmth. To make her smile again. To give me something that will make me feel anything other than how I feel right now. I feel a drop of elation when the last drop of rain rolls down my face. She’s in my arms, swaying to the sound of nothing. Our hearts break the ice to play in rhythm and my hands find their way to her hips while hers find their way around my neck. Time rushes past us, darkness and light battling the sky, the flowers beneath us dying and springing back to life within seconds. But all I can focus on is her. The sound of her name leaving my lips in soft whispers, her eyes begging me to give her something I don’t have. Unsure of what she needs from me but knowing in my heart I’m not ready to give whatever it is to her just yet. 

“I’m losing my faith,” she whispers. She repeats this, over and over. I pull her impossibly closer, our chests becoming one. I don’t have time to question her before her lips are on mine, urgent and desperate. My hand reaches down to the hem of her dress and I pull it up her thigh, her hip, and run my hand over the bare skin exposed. She pulls away and I spin her around once more. Pull her to me again. Our eyes meet. She cups my face, searching for something in them. Then she grabs my hand and pulls me down to the surface, into the bed of the field. The light of the sky wins over and the sun is back for good, kissing our skin as I’m kissing over her body. The fields of elation intertwine with us when I bury myself inside her.

I wake up. The fields are gone. The comfortable silence of the world before is replaced by a repetitive beeping. White walls. A bed. People talking. My vision clears just as a stranger walks to my bedside. She’s talking, something like “welcome back,” or “glad to have you back,” but I can’t tell for sure exactly what she’s saying when my eyes land on her. The girl I danced with, made love to, chased through the fields. She looks different now. Curled up on a light blue couch by my hospital bed. The same feeling from those fields makes the heart monitor blare, elated to see her again. Desiring to touch her and feel her warmth, to hear her voice, to see her smile. To be back in those fields, with the everchanging flowers and skies. I say her name and she opens her eyes.

She smiles at me, knowingly.