Laying awake at night, eyes red and puffy with a tear-stained face, I looked over at the clock expecting it to at least be 5am, only to see 2am. I groaned and rolled over onto my side, closing my eyes attempting to fall asleep. Yet, my thoughts only went back to what those girls said to me this afternoon. Nothing I tried could keep me from thinking if they were right, if what they said were true.


I thought moving to another country would fun and exciting, not hard and distressing. I’ve only been here for 3 weeks, and I’ve already had a constant reminder that I’m Black through rude and disgusting comments. As soon as I entered my new school everyone stopped and started staring at me like I was an animal.


-March 17th Monday-


I walked into the school yard excited -and a little nervous- to start a new school in a whole new country. Once I got to the main courtyard a girl glanced over at me, then started whispering to her friend next to her. I self a little self-conscious, but I made it through. After walking around for about 5 minutes some girls came over to me giggling.

“What are you?” One asked, looking genuinely confused. I also felt confused. I was a human, just like them.

“I’m a human?” I shyly said back, before the girls laughed.


“No, humans have white skin, you look like a monkey.” All the girls started laughing. I felt so small.


-Present Day (April 2nd Wednesday -2:01am)-


I checked the clock again to see if any time had passed. 2:05am. I groaned once again then pulled the covers over my face. Trying to sleep did nothing. Those stupid girls from today wouldn’t get out of my head. I wish what they said hadn’t of affected me as much as it did. The more I thought about it the more my eyes teared up.


I didn’t understand why they had to make fun of my skin colour. Yes, it’s a little different, but that doesn’t mean I’m any less of a human as they are. Why can’t they see that? And it wasn’t give those girls, other girls and boys would leave me out of things and wouldn’t talk to me, even the teachers acted different around me. Why?


I ripped the covers off of my face and sighed with a shaky breath. That didn’t help, I felt a teardrop roll down my cheek. Then another, and another, and another, until I was fully sobbing again. Maybe they were right. Maybe I should’ve just stayed home. Why did we move here?


-April 2nd Wednesday (3:04pm)-


I waited for my Dad to come and pick me up outside the school gates. My phone started ringing. I’ve been waiting for about 20 minutes now, so I was kind of expecting a call from him. After I picked up he started speaking in Arabic -our natural tongue.


“مرحبًا، آسف لن أتمكن من اصطحابك، يجب أن أبقى في العمل حتى وقت متأخر” My Dad said, which meant ‘Hi, sorry I won't be able to give you a ride, I have to stay late at work’. I didn’t actually mind that, I enjoyed walking.


“لا بأس، أراك في البيت يا أبي، أحبك” I said back to him, which meant ‘It’s okay, see you at home Dad. I love you.’ I hung up and was about to leave when I spotted some girls from one of my classes -Jenna, Ava and Anne- staring at me with weird looks.


“You’re in our country. You can wave around your gross food, talk in that weird accent, the least you could do is speak our language instead of that icky language that we can’t understand.” Anne spat out. I froze.


“Yea, y’know what? You should’ve stayed in that sickening piece of land you call home. Just because there’s a war going on in your country doesn’t mean you get to come here.” Ava added. There was no war going on. They have no idea why I moved countries. Jenna then laughed a bitter laugh.


“Y’know what? Yeah. You should’ve stayed there and died. You are a waste of oxygen, and we value your opinion as much as we value a white pencil. You aren’t even a white pencil! You’re a freaking black one! You deserve to die. If I didn’t have to go to jail for murder, I would’ve killed you the day I met you.” Jenna hissed out. I could practically feel my cheeks get hot. My eyes started to water and all I did was stand there. Utterly helpless and silent. The girls walked past me and pushed into my shoulder while doing so.


-Present Day (April 2nd Wednesday -2:34am)-


After sobbing for a while I suddenly shut up. I had this feeling inside my stomach. It felt weird, but I kinda liked it. I stood up and wondered into my parents’ bedroom. I stood in front of their bed and watched them for moment. The sight of them so peaceful tugged on a heart string. They were the best. I loved them with all my heart.

My gaze then went to my Mum’s bedside table. I started walking towards it with no intention of stopping. I grabbed her antibiotics and left the room. I glanced at my parents’ one last time before leaving the house with the pills in hand. The girls were right. I was a waste of oxygen.