When the room went dark, she heard her name. “JESSICA FRANCES LANE. MAIDEN NAME WALLACE. BORN 5TH OCTOBER 2001.”

Jessica turned wildly, trying to find some point of reference in the darkness. Her heart hammering in her chest. “Who are you?”

“IT IS BEST IF YOU THINK OF ME AS A FRIEND.” Despite it’s heavy tones the voice was kind.

“Where am I?”

“YOU HAVE ENTERED MY COUNTRY.”

Jessica’s mind felt fuzzy, she tried to remember what had been happening, “I was… there was…”

“A DEEP BREATH OFTEN HELPS.”

Jessica tried, feeling the cool dry air entering her nostrils and filling her lungs. “I don’t understand.”

“THAT IS NORMAL.”

“What happened?”

“YOU HAVE CROSSED THROUGH INTO MY COUNTRY.”

“I still don’t understand”

“YOU STAND ON THE THRESHHOLD AND CAN CHOOSE TO MOVE FORWARD OR RETURN.” Jessica stayed silent so the voice continued “DO YOU REMEMBER WHAT BROUGHT YOU HERE?”

“I…I don’t know… there was… What should I do?”

“THIS CHOICE IS YOURS ALONE. ONLY YOU CAN DECIDE. I CANNOT INTERFEAR.”

“If I go on where will I go?”

“YOU WILL GO WHERE YOU SHOULD. DO YOU HAVE A FAITH?”

“A faith?” Jessica didn’t understand this change in direction but tried to think clearly about faith, “I go to Church. I follow the teaching of our ministry. I follow the teachings. I submit to my husband’s will and rules as God teaches us.”

“DID YOU FOLLOW YOUR GOD’S RULES AND LIVE A GOOD LIFE?”

Jessica thought about this for a while, “I tried. I did. I tried to be kind, to forgive, to care for others and think of them first.” Jessica feels panic rising for the first time and wonders why that is. “I waited as I was taught.”

“WHAT DID YOU WAIT FOR?”

“I…”

The voice asked again, more insistent this time “WHAT DID YOU WAIT FOR?”

After a while Jessica found an answer “I waited for the right man. For marriage.”

“WAS THAT THE RIGHT THING?”

“I…” Jessica fell silent again, wanting to say yes but feeling that this was the wrong thing to say.

“KNOW THAT HERE LIES DO NOT LAST. WAS THAT THE RIGHT THING?”

Finally Jessica spoke again, quietly, as if the words were dragged from the depth of her soul, “No, it wasn’t.”

“DO YOU REMEMBER THE EVENTS THAT BROUGHT YOU HERE?”

Jessica screwed her eyes tight shut and pushed her hands into her hair, desperately trying to remember and not wanting to. “I was sleeping. He had been drinking. He’s always drinking, it’s all he does. His friend has arrived about 7pm with a bottle of whiskey. I left them smoking and drinking in the living room and went to bed about 9.” She can feel her body trembling, her voice shaking. “I was sleeping.”

“TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED WHEN YOU WERE SLEEPING.” Jessica noticed the voice remained clipped and heavy but there was a gentleness in it.

“He was yelling. Shouting at me to get out. That I was a slag and a bitch and a whore. I didn’t understand what was happening. Why he was yelling. And he was pushing me of the bed. Shoving me hard. I tried to stop him. I really tried, but he’s stronger than me. There was nothing I could hold on to. He pushed me of the bed. My head… my head… it hit the bedside cabinet.”

“AND THEN?”

“I was here, with you.” Jessica took a shaky breath “I don’t understand. Where is here? Are you a doctor?”

“I AM NOT A DOCTOR.”

Jessica wants to scream but her voice comes out as a whisper “Then who are you?”

I AM DEATH AND YOU ARE IN MY COUNTRY.”

“That shouldn’t be true but I know it is.”

“ARE YOU READY TO CHOOSE?”

“To go on or go back?”

“YES.”

“Can I stay here? I feel safe here.”

“YOU CAN STAY AS LONG AS IT TAKES FOR YOU TO DECIDE.”

“Then I can wait until he leaves? Until he go out?”

“WHERE YOU WERE TIME IS STATIONARY. IF YOU CHOOSE TO RETURN NO TIME WILL HAVE PASSED.”

Jessica waits hoping for more but the voice, Death, given no further response, as if he is waiting for her “And if I go on?”

“YOU WILL GO WHERE YOUR FAITH DICTATES.”

“I don’t think I believe in God anymore. I don’t want to live life the way he says I should.”

“ARE YOU SURE THAT IT IS YOUR GOD WHO SAYS YOU SHOULD LIVE AS YOU DO?”

Jessica thinks, realising that her mind is clearer than it has been in many years “No, I don’t think it was. They tell us that God is kind and forgiving but they also tell my husband that he can treat me however he wants and tell me that I am at fault and that I must submit to his will. They tell me that because I am a woman I do not know what I want, that I don’t know my own mind.” She can hear the frantic edge to her voice. “I told them. I went to the reverend. I went to the ministry. I went to the women’s council. I told them what he does. I told them how he hurts me.” She can hear the frantic note rising in her voice again and stops speaking.

The silence stretches on and then “WHAT DID THEY SAY?”

“That I was lying. That I was failing as a wife. That I was a sinner. That I should submit to my husband because, as a man” Jessica spat the word and took another breath of the cool dry air “As a man, he is the hand of God and I am a simple vessel of his will.” She pauses again savouring these truths that she is finally able to say. “They did nothing!” Jessica can feel the anger now, boiling, burning anger that sits like acid in her heart. “What happens if I go back?

“YOU WILL HAVE TO FIGHT.”

“And if I loose?”

“THEN YOU WILL RETURN HERE AND I WILL LEAD YOU TO WHERE YOU MUST GO.”

“Then I cannot loose.”

“ARE YOU READY TO CHOOSE?”

“Does everyone get to choose?”

“NO. FOR SOME THERE IS NO CHANCE OF RETURN.”

“Will I remember this?”

“NO.”

Jessica takes a deep breath. It shakes as she breaths in fear gripping her stomach but the anger in her heart lifts her above it, giving her strength that she didn’t know that she had. “I’m ready to choose now.”

“JESSICA FRANCES LANE. MAIDEN NAME WALLACE. BORN 5TH OCTOBER 2001. DO YOU CHOOSE TO GO ON OR TO RETURN?”

“I choose to return.”

“GO THEN TO WHERE YOU SHOULD BE.”

Jessica gasps as light fills her eye and her body jerks. As she feels herself being pulled away she hears the voice one last time “THERE IS A PAIR OF SCISSORS THAT FELL WHEN YOU WERE PUSHED OF THE BED. THEY ARE BESIDE YOUR LEFT HAND.”

Jessica wakes, blinded by the light and the pain in her head. Her vision clears a little then blurs again as she realises that her husband is above her. On top of her. That his hands are around her throat. Groping, she feels the scissors with her left hand and plunges them into his side. She feels the heat of his blood, slick and stick, hot on her skin as she pulls them back and plunges them in a second time. She can feel darkness creeping into the corners of her eyes as his body collapses on to her, his weight pinning her but she fights against it. Wriggling free of his body, she scrambles onto and over the bed, lunging for the door as fear gives wings to her bare feet. Running, falling, she makes it to the front door and wrenches it open, throwing herself into the night. She know there will be a price but she is willing to pay it because it isn’t time to go on yet.