the fallen leaves skittered along the grass, and crepuscular rays of light dappled through the trees before grey

clouds swamped the blue.

the honk of a nearby car broke the silence but could not shatter the serenity; the traffic that passed heavily just 200 yards away did not permeate the fading red brick walls enough that she would be disturbed.

tiny droplets of rain dropped onto her coat, from a sky that resembled a dirty blue canvas, scudded with grey.

looking down the pang of regret she always got when she came here was at its zenith, a mix of frustration,

weariness, and rueful acceptance.

so many memories to tease the heart, things done, and words unsaid.

what-ifs and when-maybes, all caught up in a swirling maelstrom of hope.

hope for what may come, hope for having done the right thing, and hope that she was somewhere better.

footsteps broke her chain of thought but she did not turn around; she did not need her eyes to see.

she smiled, a sad, not forced one, taking in the words etched so clearly, the dates a poignant reminder of the given

and the taken, the light and the dark, the battles won, and the sunshine fought.

she gently touched the carnations again, and allowed her fingers to trace the words

as the sunlight glistened briefly.

she stood up, and gazed down at the headstone, a gentle hand to her lips, a solemn kiss followed by

her breathy utterance of promises.

'goodbye julie, love you always'

without further ado, she turned and strode away, her shoes echoing noisily,

unable to hear the silent scream from the coffin deep under the ground.