What is the difference between I and YOU?


Consequence and Collateral.


His last words and the impact were haunting me and I never knew until he reminded me.


The lasting words of a victor spoken and how collective response shaped my young mind to form on its own.


As easy as candy from an American Candy Shop. And so were the 'pick me' of the moment.


How one response to the wrong instigator can consequently leave someone's life in ruins.


Or is the lengths one went to for a response?


Or is it seeking validation through collective ambition?


Or is it twisting a narrative so even your accuser is confused?


And it was just for me?


And my response to your affliction was met with a greater act imperceivable only to me?


Loved violently and left behind...


So what is the difference... any answers...I have only been waiting for 25 years or so...


> Greater than you. What is greater than you? Not the daughters you champion at the expense my autonomy. Definitely not you. Not then. In that moment.


The violent expression you forced me to call love silently bade me transaction able gifting me a vocabulary forming a narrative only to disabuse me of it later only to say from a more privileged expression of your gift of love nurtured and tended to your needs but only for so long you say 'everyone is oppressed differently'. Way above on the high horse you speak to me of your suffering as if you were the only one to have suffered and the only one to have suffered so...


White girl > Diaspora girl.


When one has been allowed the hand to instigate and exploit so in the balance the other must then be dealt the hand of depravity riddled disease infested gratification seeking violent form of self-expressing self-assured and mutually assured rape committed by the out of town bastards parading as the sons of rich affluent men coming to seek out their biological father only to then see the family he has and vengefully impose that their life as a consequence to mine must be superior.


We are forced to call that rape by a word unknown to us. Love.


We endure what is never spoken that forced us into shadows and drapes. While the superior species, the pure ones that can never be conqueror by right and proclamation of King Solomon, sell our rape as amusement to the masses. The female among them being its chief enactor. And call our modesty beg.


This is the result of 800 years of...over 1000 years of Diaspora. All for one man losing his head. Or was all a consequence of that one act that went unacknowledged by its perpetrators who then mock at it?


Mitthee mein milavat. They used to call us. Soiled bloodline. Impure.


It does not matter what land we spit or what we claim.


If white people were in Diaspora as long as my ancestor and I they would still be white and their heritage undeniable. Their journey would be legend and they would be legion at the story they invent of their 'heroics'.


And it isn't...


The great conquerors the thousand year reign over us. The Third Reich 'set in motion' and almost complete in about 41 years or so. 40 years 11 months and 15 days.


Their Third Reich realized.


I am counting.


The people of King Solomon.


Not David the bastard king of the mixed Northern European and African. And the children that came of that mixed union and the unions that follow a 5000 year long battle with diaspora for a land unknown to us at the time.


The people of Solomon the three tribes not the land he conquered. The people he conquered.


He was not black like the people the Roman boasted of...


He was whiter than the people who conquest upon those lands before he ever proclaimed himself as King of...


And consequently led to the people his tribe(s) and the neighbouring tribes he claimed as part of his spiritual conquest and all the tribes they conquest upon before during and after met with those tribes he would travel toward, the furthest point of the collective recognition of his deemed most righteous effort from where to whence. The right to conquer, exploit, claim, discern, disown, dissolve, or disinherit the land called for the strength of its people.


Back to our prophetic King. The region known for the ambition to be king (he left to Norway). The angry tribe we know as Denmark. The region known for its righteous indignation and right to rebellion because they are deemed easy to conqueror. History or time is a witness to these testaments we have heard as children.


I feel spiritually colonised. This isn't post-colonial thought. This is oppressive silence. Muted. Mutated Mutilated.


Breed with the dirty thing and toss it aside. An intrusive whisper and easy to deny or transfer to delegated or be acted upon by the conscionable erected ego of whomsoever can must and deny deny deny. Any involvement and if possible the due guilt of the act itself.


An after thought. Disposable dispensable for the right trade. Only for transaction able interference.


And my healing must never be at the loss of another deemed more and most valuable experience.


And it must return to the state at which it was most deemed desirable.


And the dirt thing must never ascend transactions must be seen (but not acted upon) as anything desired to be fairly and justly appropriated and appropriately met with, consequence made only acceptable for the worth of a person measured and exploited but never redeemable. except that which is desired before, during, and after.


Norway Denmark Sweden.


Sweden told of as superior of the 3 north tribes.


The land and originator of King Solomon.


To form his spiritual conquest of people.