The wet feel of moisture on her face woke her up, for a moment she had no idea where she was. Sophie felt the hard damp ground under her exhausted body. She tried to move, but every move brought the anguish and soreness in every part of her. The involuntary groan escaped her, and with it, returned the memory of Jaxon taking Dallin away. The thought of the previous day made her tremble, and it brought such deep sorrow and pain she couldn't even blink.

It was dark all around her, and above her the thousand stars shone in the sky. She listened, but the only sound she could hear were dogs barking from someplace afar. Her dress didn't offer much of a protection against the cold night dew that fell on her, and she shivered. Something warm started to slide down her face, the thing she felt were her own tears. She was so numb and dull that she didn't care what happened to her.

She kept lying there, until on the horizon the first rays of sunshine appeared, giving this ugly moment, a red not welcoming glow. It was eery, and even the dogs got quiet. Sophie closed her eyes once again, and everything in her knew she didn't want to face a new day. The morning reality was interrupted by the sound of squeaking wheels and banging metal containers. 

The noise got closer and then abruptly stopped.

It forced her to open her eyes. The rough, wrinkled face of an old woman who was wearing a brown dress with a knitted shawl around her shoulders looked down at her. 

"Oh,dear, what happened to you? By the look of it you were here all night."

With a slow movement that more so indicates her age the woman climbed down from her wagon and pulled the old shabby blanket she sat on, and threw it over her. Sophie's body shivered violently, until now she wasn't aware of the shivers.

"Come you poor dear! You have to get up, and you can't give up. No matter what troubles you have." It appeared she could see into Sophie's heart. The woman came to her side and gave her as much support she was capable of. It took them some time to place Sophie in the back of the wagon. 

"Sorry, but this is the best I can offer. It won't be long before we are home." 

Sophie hasn't said a word yet, her mouth was just too dry. The bouncing of the wagon brought more pain and she shot her eyes. The physical pain she could endure, but the emotional struggle was something that tore her apart. 

How could he do that? What was his heart made out of? Did he have one? 

She moaned and the woman who until now paid attention to the road ahead of them looked down at her.

"Little more and we are here. It's small , but I will find room for you. It's just me and my cows." Sophie opened up her eyes when they stopped. She noticed a low wooden house and the dirt yard.

"Here, take my hand, I'll help you up. I have some fresh milk and bread. It's not much, but it will refresh you, and give you energy." 

They made it inside and Sophie found herself on a narrow bed with a pillow under her back, soon the cup of cold milk was brought to her lips. She swallowed with an effort, not wanting to offend her hostess. 

"What is your name?"

"Sophie" she managed to squeeze out her name. 

"I'm Ida." 

Ida brought the cup again to Sophie's mouth. She drank some more milk, and that replenished her energy a little. 

"Where am I?How far are we from St. Paul's." 

"I'm not sure dear, how far, I have never been there myself. I've only traveled as far as Dayton." 

Dayton was ten miles away from St. Paul's, and wherever she was now was farther. 

She couldn't be ungrateful, so she smiled at Ida. 

"Thank you!" 


****

Jaxon looked down at his son that slept in his arms. He was unwilling and reluctant to give him over to the maid he brought along. The unknown warmth spread around his heart. This was his son, his and Sophie's son. The child's warmth and softness surprised him. Sophie!

How he wished she would have accepted his offer. He yearned to have her back in his life in his bed night after night. His life felt empty for a long time now and he was certain she's the key to solve that. It wasn't the illusion of love that made him think that. He wasn't able to give much of himself. The bitterness rose in his throat. He can't allow himself to trust anyone. So far everyone in his life left him one way or the other. His father and his wife both died, his mother moved away, and the only time he heard from her was when she needed money. She never even came for a visit. 

Dallin started slowly to stir and opened his eyes,"Mommy, mommy!" were his first sleepy words. 

"Hi Dallin!" Jaxon smiled at his son for the first time in his life. 

Dallin looked at him confused. "Where is my mommy?"

As much Jaxon expected this, still the question found him searching for words. In many ways he was unprepared, it forced him to think about his actions. He never expected her to refuse his proposal. He planned to convince her to bend to his wishes. The only thing he never counted was that Sophie disliked him this much.

"I want my mommy!" The tears gathered in his son's eyes.

"I'm your dad Dallin, but I think we both need your mommy, and we are going back for her."

Dallin stopped his attempt to cry and his young eyes searched for understanding of the situation. 

In an attempt to make it easier on him Jaxon handed him over to the maid. She was the same young girl that looked at him at his house. At least she wasn't a total stranger and was young enough Dallin would feel comfortable with her around. 

"Ben! Turn the coach around, we are going back." He yelled the command to his driver. 

The coach slowed down, turned, and soon they were driving back. 

Jaxon turned to his son, " We are going back to get mommy Dallin." 

The confused child looked at him, "Did you forget to take her with us? You forgot my teadybear too. I miss my mommy."

The innocent reply tore at Jaxon. His own heart was safely hardened and locked away out of the reach. It seemed only his son was able to reach it. 

"Faster Ben." The coach picked up speed. 

When they arrived in front of Sophie's house he got out. The doors were now closed and he pressed at the knob and they gave in. The eerie feel of emptiness surrounded him. The house stood empty. He realized Sophie wasn't here. He walked back to the road and scanned it up and down. It was just then he spotted the old lady walking towards him. 

When she came closer she observed him closely.

"If you are looking for Sophie I don't know where she is. I came last night, but she was gone. I closed the door, but it seems she didn't return." 

Jaxon was struck with worry. Where is she? Dallin still asked for her and wanted to go inside to find her. 

"Mommy is not here, Dallin, but I promise you we will find her. We will wait for her." 

Jaxon came back every day for a week until he concluded she wasn't coming back. He had no idea where to look for her, so he went to talk to his solicitor that made the payments for Erick's schooling and gave Sophie her checks. He thought that maybe she left to see her brother, and if he finds him he'll find her. 

****

"You gave up on something in your life! I can tell. You don't have to tell me. Sometimes we think it is easier, but it's not a good idea to just lift our hands off the trouble." 

Sophie watched Ida as she poured the fresh milk into the containers. She felt better but Ida insisted she stayed in bed for another day.

Ida left to milk her cows and Sophie started to think.

Did she give up? What can she do? Marry him, and watch Dallin suffer the coldness? Can she stay away from her own child? It was clear to her as a new day she has to go back to Julesburg. Staying away from Dallin wasn't an option. At least living in Julesburg she'll be close to him, and she might be able to convince Jaxon to let her see him. She can always get a job at one of the plantations or in the sugar factory. There is always a chance people will recognize her, and they'll ask questions about Eric, about Dallin, but she'll have to face that too. She hoped the things changed there too, and there won't be many of them remembering her.

It was her child she had to think of. Not knowing where Eric was and how he was tearing at her as well. She told herself she had to be strong. She has to get physically stronger as well if she's going to move to be close to her son. There were things she needed to take care of at St. Paul's first. She wasn't ready to give up on her home just yet. Maybe Jaxon won't like having Dallin around and they'll be able to go home, so she wanted that home to be there for him.