A stranger sat at her table, claiming to be her soulmate. He wore sandals; his hair was long, scraggly looking, and his clothing ough. Before he walked in the door, she had been working on a story, trying to remember the names of some boys who sang in a rock group when she was younger. But it had been too many years. She sat at the table resting when the stranger walk in. After he sat down and spoke to her, she temporarily forgot about her story. Who was he?


When he stood and walked to her side of the table, he reached for her hand. Looking deep into his gentle eyes, she yielded to his touch. As she stood to face the stranger, she knew who he was.

“Ronnie,” she said, “I can’t remember the names of the boys in your band”.


Before speaking again, he led her to a sofa across the room. Sitting down, he gently pulled her head to rest against his chest. Then, softly running his fingers through her hair, he said,


“Now, tell me about the boy whose name you can remember”.


I.


It was 1963, and my parents

were moving to Jacksonville, Florida.

Why me? Cheerleader, in the 7th grade,

in love with the boy of my dreams.

I practiced writing my name-to-be

Mrs. Lynn James Benoit

But what did it matter to parents

bent on their own way?


A southern girl takes her vows seriously

—   I promised undying love —

packed pink curlers, record player,

bobby socks, tight skirt, burgundy sweater;

wished S.J. Welsh Middle School

every possible win — and moved

to another planet.


II.


Jacksonville’s highways were paved

with diamonds glittering in the hot sun.

Daddy drove to Jax beach.

Mama saw them first — whitecaps

rolling high above the skyline,

then folding over, it seemed, on top

of the road. I thought Beach Blvd. ran

straight to the depths of the ocean.


Daddy drove beneath tall archways

onto sand, where miles of white

met crashing surf, and long

wooden boardwalks lined

with hot dog stands, loud music,

surf boards and boys — beach boys,

dark tans, sun-bleached hair —


III.


But Heaven on the east coast was buried

under the glum of the west side.

Clumpy saddle oxford shoes,

pageboy haircut — old fashioned.

I chopped off my dishwater blond hair,

threw socks and shoes to the back

of the closet and stayed in my room

while my family watched Hoss

and Little Joe ride the Ponderosa.


Who needs friends, I reasoned.

Roy Orbison sang “Only the Lonely,”

“Blue Bayou” – 


I wrote poems to Lynn.


IV.


Mama had a plan:


Cut my hair,

add a permanent.


My baby-fine hair

frizzed and burned!


Next, penny loafers,

matching leather belt,

bleeding madras shirt,

burgundy A-line skirt,

my own bottle of

English Leather cologne.


“Now!” she said.


V.


Friday found me at a drive-in

on a double date.


My friend introduced me to boys

parked on the left side of our car.

During intermission, one of them

asked my friend for my number.

He called the next morning:


“We’re going swimming…”


I saw rolling waves, sand,

falling in love with the miracle boy

walking the shores of my soul.


“…in a canal,” he said.


I saw bottomless pits, dark waters,

unknown monsters swimming

through murky depths.


“Come with me,” he laughed,

“I’ll show you heaven on earth.”


We packed fried chicken, drinks

and seven other kids

into a borrowed car.


VI.


The place was like home —

soft Saint Augustine grass,

shade trees reaching

across deep water.


I sat on the ground

running my fingers

through thick velvet grass

while the others lined up

to jump from a rope in a tree.


He held my hand and led me

to the top of the tree.

If I kept my eyes open, pumping

my legs as soon as I hit water,

I did not go very deep.


“Let’s jump two at a time.

It’s easier on the bottom

of the rope,” he promised.


I felt the wind in my face,

a thick rope clutched

between fingers — and fear,

if I did not let go,

I’d swing back and hit the tree.


We jumped.


When his foot hit the top of my head

I lost all faith — breaking the water

a second before him — I sank

deeper and deeper — I knew

I would never see

Florida sunshine again!


Fighting my way to the surface,

I climbed on shore, trembling.


He wrapped me in a towel

and told me to follow him

to the other side of the tree.


VII.


When I could talk, I told him

I hated Florida, hated my parents,

hated my hair. I told him my aunt

believed out of sight was out of mind,

but Granny said absence made the heart

grow fonder. I didn’t know which

was true, but I was afraid

my friends would forget me.


When I quit crying, he said,

“In Louisiana you call this a bayou.

We call them canals. Some of ours

are man-made but they are the same.

I don’t want you to leave, but

if you do, I won’t forget you.”


He liked my Cajun accent —

my scraggly hair.


“Boys should have long hair

and girls should have short,” he said.


His father was a cross-country

truck driver. “If you leave,

one day I’ll come knocking

on your door. I’ll jump

in his truck and I’ll find you —

even in Louisiana.

I’m different. I want to be free —

like a bird flying over this water.

And I want my own band.”


He told me of a band in England —

a group people did not like.


“Especially their leader,” he said.

“Mick’s a real rebel. They call them

the Rolling Stones. Have you ever heard

‘a rolling stone gathers no moss’?

Well, that's me," he said, leaning

back in the grass. “I want to fly

through the world with no worries.”

His favorite song was Heart of Stone.


I didn’t know who Mick was,

I had never met a truck driver —

but I knew I had met someone

I would never forget. And that day,

on the banks of a Florida canal —

I learned to be still. I learned

to look out over the water.


And I fell in love for the very last time.


For Ronnie Van Zant, 1948-1977