Lenny wrapped the leather belt around his hand and let the heavy metal buckle hang loose, swaying back and forth, as he came forward.

 

“No!” Johnny cried and sprang from Donny’s arms before the older kid could grab him. “Don’t touch him!” He stood between Lenny and Donny, fists clenched, eyes hard and streaming tears.

 

“Well, aren’t you scary,” Gary chuckled, leaning against the open stall door. “Standing there all bare assed.”

 

Johnny ignored him as his eyes bored into Lenny. He was terrified of his brothers, but he couldn’t let them hurt Donny.

 

“Get out of my way,” Lenny warned. “Unless you want some, too.”

 

“Leave him alone! He didn’t do anything to you!”

 

Lenny sneered and began to swing the belt with added momentum. “He exists. That’s reason enough to beat the faggot down.”

 

Panic engulfed him as Donny cried for him to get out of the way. But he refused to budge. “You’re a faggot, too!” he yelled at Lenny.

 

The words hardly left his lips when Lenny backhanded him in the mouth, smashing his lips against his teeth and drawing blood. He went down, and Lenny stepped past him, his face twisting with hate as he raised his arm, clutching the belt.

 

“No!” Johnny screamed, but Lenny was already swinging. Donny’s scream merged with Johnny’s own and wet droplets splatter his bare skin as the hard buckle connected with Donny’s tender flesh. “Stop!” he screamed again, choking on his cries. He scrambled to shield Donny from the blows and grapple with Lenny. “Stop! You fucker!”

 

A fist sank into his hair and gripped, ripping him away from Donny and Lenny. His screams again mingled with Donny’s as the edges of the silver skull buckle cut into Donny’s skin and ripped it open.

 

“Stop! Please!” Johnny gagged on his cries as Gary dragged him out of the stall by his hair. “Gary! Make him stop! Make him stop!”

 

Donny choked and gagged, his screams becoming labored. Johnny couldn’t see him anymore and fought Gary’s grip to get back to him. But his older brother refused to release him.

 

“Donny!” Johnny screamed, tears streaking his face.

 

“Did you really think we were so stupid we didn’t know you were a faggot?” Gary hissed. “Or that you were sneaking off with this little fucker?”

 

Donny’s screams quieted to choking, gurgled sobs as the belt was tossed aside, landing on the ground in the doorway of the stall. Johnny stared in horror at the blood coating the skull face, pooling in the empty eye sockets and draining off into the dirt.

 

Johnny’s panic and terror swelled when he heard Lenny unzip his pants. “No!” he jerked against Gary’s hold, kicking and clawing. “Lenny! Don’t! You fucker! I’ll fucking kill you! No!” Fresh tears flooded his face and something inside him broke when Donny screamed again, and Lenny laughed and cursed him through his pants and grunts. “I’ll kill you, Lenny! You motherfucker!” Johnny choked on his cries. “I swear to God…I will...you fuuuck!”

 

His screams and threats cut off abruptly as Gary’s arm wrapped around his throat and squeezed. “I’m sure he’s shaking in his boots,” Gary snickered.

 

Johnny gagged, struggling for air. He clawed Gary’s arm and tried to kick him, but he couldn’t get loose. “Please, Gary…” he rasped. “Please let him go. Please don’t hurt him anymore…please…”

 

Gary slid his other arm around Johnny’s chest and hugged him hard, his mouth against his ear. “I’ll tell you what…” he murmured. “You do one thing for me…and I’ll turn him loose.”

 

“You…you promise?” Johnny choked.

 

“The devil take my soul if I’m lying.”

 

“O-Okay,” Johnny trembled. “What?”

 

He raised his head. “Lenny! Bring him out here.”

 

A rush of hard sobs burst from Johnny as Lenny hauled Donny out of the stall and threw him to the ground. “Donny!” Johnny cried and pulled against Gary’s arms, his eyes wide with horror at the sight of Donny’s torn and bloody flesh. The kid was shaking, on the verge of convulsing, tears streaming from eyes that stared blankly, unblinking.

 

Lenny sniffed and cleared his throat as he adjusted his crotch, his fly still open. Blood caked his hands, and he wiped them on his jeans. “What about the runt?” Lenny grinned. His eyes raked over Johnny’s naked body. “Do we get to fuck him, too?”

 

“Keep it in your pants,” Gary said and hugged Johnny tighter, speaking low. “All you have to do is tell the little faggot that you don’t love him, you don’t want to ever see him again, and swear to me you won’t ever sneak out again to see him. You do that, and I’ll turn him loose.”

 

Johnny trembled; tell Donny he didn’t love him? But Donny would know it wasn’t true, wouldn’t he? He would know it was the only way to save him.

 

“I’ll…I’ll do it,” Johnny sobbed.

 

“All right then,” Gary smiled then shoved him forward hard. “Go to it.”

 

Johnny landed on his knees next to Donny, his sobs swelling. He touched Donny’s face tentatively as the kid’s eyes finally focused on his face. “I’m so sorry,” Johnny whispered, shaking. “Please forgive me. This is all my fault.”

 

“No…” Donny could barely get the word out.

 

“Say it,” Gary insisted. “The sooner you do; the sooner he can go.”

 

“You’re not seriously gonna let him go,” Lenny said, doubt in his voice.

 

“I gave my word,” Gary said.

 

“But Vincent said-”

 

Gary held up a hand, silencing him. “Get with it, boy. The kid could bleed to death waiting for you to get the lead out.”

 

Johnny trembled as Donny held his eyes and fumbled for his hand weakly. The look in his eyes, his very touch, told Johnny that he knew the truth. Still, more tears gushed out as Johnny struggled to form the hated words. “I…I don’t…I don’t…love you.” He choked on a hard sob, and he sank forward, his head touching Donny’s brow, wet with blood. “I…I don’t ever want to see you again.” He squeezed his eyes shut as sobs broke in his throat.

 

Gary grabbed him and jerked him away from Donny, up onto his feet again. Johnny started to sag, his legs weak, but Gary yanked him up straight. “Now swear to me.”

 

“I swear,” Johnny cried. “I swear I-I won’t ever sneak out again.” He swallowed thickly and looked at Donny. The kid’s eyes remained on Johnny’s face. “Let him go.”

 

A quick nod to Lenny, and the other guy stepped into the stall where Donny had gotten the horse blanket and returned with a rope.

 

“What…what’re you doing?” Johnny choked. He looked up quickly at Gary. “You said you would let him go. You have to let him go. You promised!”

 

Gary smiled. “I had my fingers crossed.”

 

“You fucking liar!” Johnny screamed and lunged for Lenny as the guy moved toward Donny with the rope. Gary caught him and jerked him back. “You fucks!” Panic exploded through Johnny, and he fought Gary with wild fury. His hand raked the handle of Gary’s hunting knife strapped to his side—and ripped it from the sheath, swinging haphazardly. Gary howled in pain when the blade sliced his thigh, and he released Johnny on reflex.

 

“You little fuck!” Gary yelled. He clutched his leg where his jeans were cut, and blood soaked the denim.

 

Johnny stumbled back and stood in front of Donny, swinging the knife back and forth to keep his brothers at bay. Sobs choked him, and tears blurred his vision. “Stay away from him!”

 

“You’re gonna fucking pay for that,” Gary snarled, and winced when he took a step forward. He hesitated when Johnny refused to back down. The rage in Gary’s eyes suddenly abated and he smiled. “You love him so much, I’ll give him a fighting chance.”

 

Johnny glanced between Gary and Lenny warily. “What…what do you mean?” he trembled. He dragged a shaky hand across his eyes.

 

“I’ll let you save him,” Gary said. “But first…” He slowly stretched out his hand. “…give me the knife.”

 

The knife wavered, and Johnny shook his head. “No,” he whispered brokenly. “No, you’re lying. You’re a liar!”

 

“I’m not lying.” Gary held up his hands. “See? Not crossing my fingers this time.”

 

Johnny glanced at Lenny. The guy stared at him, a smirk on his lips.

 

“You can’t hold us off forever with that pig sticker,” Gary said. “So just hand it over and save your boy.”

 

Swallowing thickly, Johnny’s eyes filled with fresh tears. “If…if I give you the knife…you won’t s-stab me with it?”

 

“You have my word,” Gary smiled, his hands still up.

 

Johnny didn’t trust him. Gary had already lied once. “I-I don’t…I don’t believe you!” he choked, his face tightening. “I-”

 

The rope hit him without warning and dropped down around his arms, cinching tight as Lenny yanked hard, hooting laughter erupting from him as Johnny was jerked off his feet. He held onto the knife in a death grip as he struggled against his restraints. “Let me go!” he screamed.

 

Gary walked over, and Johnny tried to slash at his ankles, but the coarse rope locked his arms to his sides. Gary stepped on his wrist, the hard sole of his boot grinding Johnny’s bones, wrenching a cry from him. The knife was plucked from his hand and Gary dropped to his knees, straddling Johnny’s body. Gary stared at him coldly and touched the tip of the knife to the soft flesh above Johnny’s hip bone.

 

“You-You said you wouldn’t!” Johnny cried in panic.

 

“I said if you gave me the knife, I wouldn’t.” He leaned down closer and tapped the tip of the blade on Johnny’s chin. “But you didn’t hand it over.” He dragged the knife lightly down Johnny’s chest and back to its previous position above his hip.

 

“No!” he choked, his chest hitching with erratic breath, eyes bulging. “Don’t!”

 

“You cut me…so I cut you. Eye for an eye, little brother. That’s the way of the world.” He pressed the tip of the knife against Johnny’s tender flesh, breaking the skin. Johnny cried and struggled in panic.

 

“No…” Donny rasped, shifting on the ground. “Let him go. Do…do what you want to me, but…but let him go…please.”

 

“Donny…” Johnny shuddered.

 

Gary looked at Donny –and smiled coldly. His face twisted suddenly, and he thrust the knife into Johnny.

 

Johnny screamed and writhed.

 

“No!” Donny cried and tried to reach for him.

 

Gary jerked the knife free and stood up, favoring his injured leg. Johnny grabbed his wound with shaky hands, gasping in panic as blood surged through his fingers. Gary pointed the knife at Donny but spoke to Lenny. “String him up.”

 

The rope was removed from around Johnny with rough hands. Johnny clutched his gushing wound and rolled over, crying out in pain as he struggled to get up on his knees. “No…leave him alone,” he cried as his older brothers grabbed Donny, and Lenny wound the coarse rope around his neck two times. “No! Please!” Johnny staggered to his feet and stumbled toward them. “Don’t!”

 

Gary ignored him and took the rope, tossing the slack up over a low beam.

 

“Gary, don’t!” Johnny screamed and lunged forward despite the pain coursing through his body. Lenny caught him with a backhanded slap, knocking him to the ground.

 

“Tie it off when I tell you,” Gary told Lenny. The younger man nodded as Gary coiled the rope around his hand a couple times –then put his weight into hoisting Donny off the ground. The kid clawed at the rope cinching tight around his throat, eyes bulging.

 

“Donny!” Johnny scrambled to his feet, fell again as the pain in his side tore through him, then made it to his feet a second time, stumbling forward. He grabbed Donny’s body, trying to keep him from being lifted. Sobs erupted from Johnny as Donny was steadily pulled from his grasp as Gary grinned and dragged down hard on the rope.

 

Donny’s feet came off the ground and began to kick in panic.

 

“Donny!” Johnny screamed and grabbed at his waist as the kid was hoisted higher.

 

“Tie it off,” Gary ordered. Lenny took the slack and ran to one of the stalls and wrapped the rope around a post, tugging on it to take up the slack, then tied it off in a tight, intricate knot.

 

Donny hung less than two feet off the ground, but it was enough.

 

Lenny and Gary leaned against the outer wall of the stall and smirked. “If you hold him up,” Gary said. “He can breathe.”

 

Johnny shuddered and looked at them in panic. Donny kicked his feet, choking and gagging, clawing at the rope. His fingers raked against the coarse surface and started to bleed.

 

“I told you I’d let you save him,” Gary smiled. “I am a man of my word. It’s up to you now. How long can you hold him up? You let him go –and you kill him.”

 

Horror swarmed over Johnny, and he clutched Donny’s legs, working his arms and shoulders under his knees. When he shoved up to cause slack in the rope, his legs nearly buckled from the pain exploding through his side. He screamed and caught his footing, forcing himself to stand beneath Donny’s weight. He stared up at the kid, tears streaking his face. “Donny…” he cried, shaking. “Donny…I won’t let you die…I won’t…I’ll save you.”

 

Tears drained down Donny’s caked cheeks as he managed to get small, labored breaths. “They won’t…let you save me,” he rasped in a strangled whisper. “I’m…I’m already dead.”

 

“No…” Johnny whimpered and shook his head. “I’ll save you.”

 

Donny stared down at him, more tears forming. “Re-Remember what I said…you’re…you’re tougher than you know…” his chin trembled, yet even in the face of his own death, defiance burned behind the kid’s eyes. “Make them…shake in their boots.”

 

“Donny…” Johnny’s legs weakened, and he clung to him desperately. “Donny…don’t leave me.”

 

“Take care of Gunner for me…I was all he had,” Donny trembled. “Tell him I love him…I’ll always be with him…don’t let him be alone, Johnny.”

 

“Donny…” Panic seized Johnny as he felt his knees begin to buckle. “Donny!” he cried. The kid’s warm legs pressed heavily against Johnny’s shoulders, sticky with his own blood. “No!”

 

Tears formed thicker in Donny’s eyes. “I love you…my sexy cowboy.”

 

“Donny!” Johnny screamed as his legs gave out with an abruptness that dropped him to the ground hard. The weight of Donny’s body followed then caught sharply and somewhere in the midst of Johnny’s pain and horror –he heard Donny’s neck snap.

 

He buried his head in his arms, face down on the dirt floor, and screamed until he could no longer hear the echoes of Donny’s cries or his brothers’ cold laughter.

 

Screamed until his heart shattered and his soul cracked.

 

And when the screams faded, and silence settled over the barn…there was nothing left inside him but a searing rage.

 

Johnny raised his head, and his brothers were gone. He stood slowly to his feet, ignoring the wound in his side, no longer feeling the pain nor caring if he bled to death.

 

He entered the stall and rummaged through the farrier tools, found his desired items, and returned to the aisle. Using the hoof knife, he cut the rope and Donny’s lifeless body dropped to the ground. He unraveled the rope from around Donny’s neck then dragged the kid back into the stall where they’d come so close to making love. Johnny touched Donny’s face, tracing his thumb across the tender lips that would never again lay soft kisses to his skin, and allowed one last tear its freedom as he kissed Donny goodbye then gently covered his beaten, abused body with the blanket.

 

Johnny paused on his way out of the stall and reached down, picking up the belt that had been cast aside. He stared at the skull buckle, stained in Donny’s blood. The empty eye sockets stared back, looking through him into his dark and broken soul.

 

Make them shake in their boots.

 

He wrapped the damp leather belt around his hand until he was clutching the metal buckle in his fist. The hoof knife and heavy iron clippers gripped in his other hand; Johnny walked out of the barn –burning with vengeance.

 

 

………………………….

 

 

With each cut of the knife…the pain dulled a little more. Every scream wrenched from the two men was a vacuum drawing the hurt from the boy’s heart. The warm blood on his young hands…a soothing coating oozing over his anguished soul.

 

Kill them slowly…make it last.

 

“You’re a sick little fuck!” Lenny wheezed, and bloody spittle spackled the kid’s face. He didn’t flinch. “I swear to God you’re gonna fucking pay for this!”

 

The two older boys sat back-to-back on the old metal kitchen chairs with the ripped seats and exposed cushions, hands and feet strapped down securely. Lenny raged and kicked the floor with limited movement, smacking his chair against Gary’s.

 

“Do something!” Lenny yelled. Gary was the older of the two and had always taken charge. They were both short tempered, but Lenny’s fuse ran much shorter than Gary’s.

 

Gary was in no shape to take charge now. His head hung limp, chin against his chest, the loss of blood and infliction of pain rendering him unconscious.

 

“Gary!” Lenny screamed, fear ebbing behind his rage. He’d heard Gary’s screams, felt the spray of his blood. It was in Lenny’s eyes –he knew he was next.

 

“Wake the fuck up!” Lenny glared at the boy, eyes bloodshot. “Is he…is he dead? You fuck! What the fuck did you do to him?”

 

Same thing I’m going to do to you. The boy didn’t speak the words aloud. Maybe he couldn’t speak, he wasn’t sure. He hadn’t said a word since he’d left the barn. Maybe he would never speak again.

 

The boy moved closer, and his fist squeezed the wet leather belt wrapped around his hand, sticky with Gary’s blood. The heavy metal buckle hung loose, swaying, the silver skull stained a glossy crimson and dripping blood onto the scuffed wooden floor.

 

Lenny’s eyes widened and locked on the buckle, and even now it was clear that he wanted it back.

 

You want it…?

 

A sharp gasp burst from Lenny when the boy’s arm jerked up fast and swung hard, hitting him across the face with the hard buckle. Lenny screamed as his cheek ripped open and blood sprayed into the air. His face twisting with pain and rage, the boy swung again, and again, until Lenny’s head lolled back and forth, eyes heavy and filled with blood.

 

The boy stood rigid in a wide stance, clutching the belt, chest heaving.

 

“You’re gonna get caught,” Lenny rasped, gagging on his own blood. “And they’ll lock you up in a crazy house…where you belong.” Crimson tears rolled down his face, but they weren’t tears of remorse. “All because…” he coughed hard and bloody saliva trickled off his lips, oozing from his chin in strings. “All because…of that fucking belt.”

 

Unaffected by Lenny’s words, the boy stepped closer and dug his hand into the front pocket of Lenny’s jeans, working loose his large pocketknife. He opened it one-handed against his leg and the blade snapped into place and locked. Lenny kept it sharp as a razor and liked to brag that he shaved with it –the way a real man does. He was a fucking liar.

 

“What…” Lenny rasped. “What the fuck are you doing?”

 

His eyes widened as much as possible when the boy touched the tip of the knife blade to the button of Lenny’s pants –and cut it loose.

 

Lenny jerked. “You fuck!” Blood spit from his lips. “What the fuck are you doing?” Lenny had been afraid before, but now a different fear was taking over, and it gave the boy an unexpected charge.

 

His side hurt where Gary had stuck him, but he ignored the pain. It kind of felt good, actually –distracted him from the “other” pain that didn’t feel good. His eyes tried to sting but he cursed the tears, and they recoiled like a whipped dog fearful of defiance. Lenny and Gary had seen him cry once that day –cry so hard he threw up and wished to die. The tears had finally dried, leaving his heart barren…his soul a wasteland. He still longed for death –but no longer his own.

 

Lenny and Gary would never see him cry again. They would never see anything ever again.