Heaven or Hell?

Heaven or Hell?
Jenny Basoli

She couldn't remember how she got here.

She turned left onto the road indicated by the GPS, then right, but only got more lost. Trying to retrace her steps, she realized she had no recollection of how she had arrived at that point, which only added to her disorientation. Aware that she was running late, she considered calling to let them know. While searching for her phone, she failed to notice the animal standing in the road ahead and swerved at the last moment, causing her to skid off the edge.

A few trees broke her fall. Her head rested on the steering wheel, and blood soaked the seat. After a few minutes, she began to regain her senses.
"Where am I?", she wondered.
"What’s happening?"
She dragged herself out of the car, and as she shut the door, it sped away down the slope. Terrified, yet somewhat relieved that the incident hadn’t occurred while she was still inside, she attempted to climb back up.

As she reached the top, the cliff vanished, revealing a vast garden filled with elegantly dressed people. Beautiful music floated to her ears, a melody that felt familiar, as if she had been there before. She knew she had experienced all of this in the past. A strong pull drew her to that place, particularly towards a specific soul. Following that strange sensation, she found herself near an elderly woman. As she got closer, her essence was drawn into the aging lady's body.

She was now the elderly lady, and these were her final birthday celebrations. The last ones, because in just a few moments, she would pass away in front of everyone. Yet, before Amelia departed, she managed to reflect on all her good deeds, the kindness she had shared, the love she felt for those around her, and the love they returned. She recalled her beautiful childhood, every passionate romance she experienced, and every person she had met. She saw her mother’s face gently kissing her. She heard her children telling her they loved her. She felt the unwavering support of her family. Warm emotions filled her heart, and a sweetness enveloped her chest. Oh, what a beautiful life she had lived! With a thank you on her lips, the elderly lady's heart burst with emotion and love. Amelia embraced every moment of her final minutes, experiencing the beautiful, liberating death of the elderly lady until the last light faded away.

With her head resting on the steering wheel, Amelia tried to make sense of what was happening. She glanced around and realized she was back at the scene of the accident. A warmth lingered in her chest. "What a beautiful heart!", Amelia thought, a smile spreading across her lips as she stepped out of the car. The sound of the vehicle tumbling down the cliff snapped her back to reality. She was no longer afraid, but rather puzzled.

She climbed back to the summit, hoping to find her way home or someone to assist her. As she got closer, she heard voices. "Thank God, someone will help me", Amelia thought as she ascended, but when she reached the top, what she encountered was far from what she had anticipated. There were numerous men, and the path had transformed into a battlefield. The sounds of gunfire, explosions, and shouting men overwhelmed her senses. The air was thick with the scent of death, a smell that stirred deeply buried memories within her. Had she been here before? Something inside her yearned to awaken, but Amelia suppressed it. Amidst the chaos, she spotted a unique soul. She approached that soldier, and in an instant, her spirit merged with his body. The sensation of life surged within her once more.

He didn't want to be there. That man was such a good person. He had never harmed a single fly in his life. At just twenty years old, he was full of dreams. He was set to finish medical school and work in a children's hospital. He always loved helping others and seeing the good in every situation. He had found the love of his life, and together they were ready to build a future when war broke out. He was drafted and had no choice but to go to battle, but he promised her he would return alive. “How ironic is life?” he thought as he realized he had always wanted to save people, and now he was forced to take lives. And why? He didn’t even know himself.
A soldier appeared before him, and without a second thought, the man pulled the trigger and ran. Inside, he was hurting, but the instincts of fear and survival were stronger.
A gunshot rang out nearby, and he stopped running. He clutched his chest, which was now burning and felt wet. When he glanced at his fingers, they were stained with blood. A second shot echoed, forcing him to kneel and ultimately collapse. Blood flowed from his body, and as he lay dying, a single thought consumed his mind. Her.
"I'll see you again!", he said with a smile. With her in his thoughts, he breathed his last.

Amelia jolted awake in her car, irritation bubbling up as she stepped out and slammed the door shut. The vehicle tumbled down the cliff faster than ever before. Amelia cast a glance back as she climbed the mountain, feeling a weight settle within her. The soldier's pain still lingered deep inside. "What on earth is happening?", she pondered while ascending. Once again, she could hear voices and music in the distance. She paused for a moment, realizing she wouldn’t find her way or any help. Something was amiss, but she couldn’t quite grasp what it was yet. Taking a deep breath, she reached the summit.
Instead of a road, a grand restaurant sprawled out before her, illuminated with lights and filled with elegantly dressed people. They all appeared incredibly wealthy. That familiar feeling of connection washed over her again, leading her to a striking man. Her spirit ignited in his presence, yet she felt no fondness for this life.
He was a wicked man, having committed terrible deeds to attain his status. With the face of an angel but the heart of a devil, he worked as a hired assassin. He killed for money, but there was also a twisted sense of satisfaction in his work. The act of killing gave him a feeling of superiority and power. Amelia felt deeply unsettled by him. She disliked the man and the truth she sensed within him—that he enjoyed killing because he had never known love in his life. From a young age, he learned that only the strongest prevail. It troubled her that, despite his desire for power, he lacked the strength to conquer his own demons, which terrified him. Beneath his tough exterior lay a frightened boy who had never truly learned from life, choosing the easy path instead.
The killer stood up to head to the bathroom, but before he could reach it, a bullet pierced his brain, and everything went dark.

As Amelia woke up in her car, she took a deep breath.
"What the hell is going on?", she wondered, feeling angry.
"What’s happening to me? Is any of this real? Am I dreaming? Am I dead? What’s going on? How did I end up here? Who are all these people?"
She stepped out of the car once more, and once again, it slipped over the edge. Amelia, lost in her thoughts, didn’t pay it any mind this time. She climbed to the top of the hill and found herself in a large room with a man. Taking a deep breath, she approached him, and in an instant, her spirit merged with his body.
He was a pope, living in an empire. In the name of God, he committed horrific acts. Torture, death, rape, exploitation, and every other twisted thing that could ever dwell in the human mind. He was consumed by hatred. He despised people, both rich and poor—especially the poor—along with the weak, women, and children. In truth, he even loathed the name of the God he preached about, despite claiming otherwise. That position of power had transformed him into a monster, yet he was blind to it. Amelia, however, could see it clearly and could not bear it! That man was truly someone Amelia would never want to meet.
“No, no. I don’t want to feel this way.”
Amelia pleaded, yet she found herself powerless to change anything. She could sense the Pope's thirst for blood, his insatiable hunger for power, wealth, and manipulation. Such immense strength, yet he craved even more. The primal instincts of the Pope filled Amelia with discomfort, a rising urge to vomit.
The pope rose, but before he could reach the door of his room, a sharp pain pierced his heart. He quickly pressed his palm against his chest, trying to hold onto his heart, but it felt too far away. It eluded his grasp. The heart sensed the distance and gradually slowed its beating. The pope collapsed, and before his eyes flashed all the lives he had ruined, every harsh decision he had made, all the hatred and malice he carried. For a moment, his soul questioned, "Why? Why did you do all this? How could you be so cruel to innocent souls? I just wanted justice!", he attempted to justify himself, hoping to sway the angels weaving the thread of his life, but it was too late. The decision had been made.
Amelia felt the pope's anguish, his desperate need for life, his bitterness and envy towards those who still lived, his thirst for destruction.
But when the pope finally understood that this was the end, he was terrified. He was terrified of burning in hell. He was aware of his own harshness, and all that was left for him was to seek forgiveness from his God. Yet, even that plea for forgiveness, made in that final moment, lacked sincerity.

Everything went dark, and Amelia found herself back in her car. As she realized where she was, tears began to flow.
"Oh my God, who was that man? Why am I going through all of this? What am I doing here?", she wondered, her tears streaming uncontrollably down her face. After a moment of breakdown, she stepped out of the vehicle and followed the familiar path. With slow, fearful steps, she made her way to the top.
There, she discovered herself in the bathroom of a stunning woman. She was in the bathtub, half-dazed from alcohol and drugs. Amelia hesitated to approach.
“I don’t want to experience that again! I don’t want to feel either the life or the death of that poor woman. Why are you doing this to me?”, she shouted, turning her head towards the sky. But no one replied.
“Am I being punished for something?”
Yet, no one answered. She decided to turn back and walk in a different direction.
"I can't go through this again!", she exclaimed, turning to walk in the opposite direction. But with each step she took, it felt as if the ground beneath her was vanishing, leaving her stranded. She found herself frozen in place, unable to move forward. When the realization hit her, panic set in. She collapsed to the ground, tears streaming down her face.
She wiped away her tears as she realized an invisible force was pulling her closer to the beautiful woman. There was no choice left. She stood up, took a deep breath, and simply waited to live another life. Once she found herself in her body, memories flooded back. She was a very famous actress. Her childhood had been incredibly tough; her parents had neglected her, and people had treated her harshly. She was so sensitive. All she ever wanted was someone to love her genuinely.
So beautiful. It was that beauty that opened doors most could only dream of. Of course, it wasn't just her looks; her talent also made her the most sought-after and gifted actress of her time. Unfortunately, as a child disillusioned and hurt by the world, she couldn't tame her demons, and all the love she sought was found in substances.
At first, she felt so beautiful. She believed she could conquer the world, but the deeper she plunged into that lake, the more destructive it became. It weighed her down, pulling her further into the depths, and she could no longer bear it. She longed to rid herself of that burden, but she never succeeded. Now, it was too late. Death was drawing closer, and Amelia could feel it.
The pills coursed through her bloodstream faster than her wishes, and her soul had drifted far from her body. Everything was now in the past.

Amelia found herself once again in her car, but this time she was behind the wheel.
"Wait a minute, this is just before the accident!", she thought, recalling everything. She was on her way to a party where she was the guest of honor. Friends had gathered to celebrate her latest achievement. Her book, titled "The Paradoxes of Life", had garnered attention, and they had rented a large inn outside the city. As she tried to reach them, she lost her way. In her attempt to call, she spotted an animal in front of her at the last moment, causing her to swerve sharply and plunge off the cliff. A tree halted the car's descent.
Amelia began to regain her senses. But before she could fully grasp what had happened, the car skidded off the edge and shattered into pieces. Fear washed over her as she realized this could be the end. Yet, before it all concluded, her life flashed before her eyes. She recalled her moments of glory, her many achievements, and her heart swelled with joy. She recognized the beauty in the world and never settled for half-hearted words, half-measures, or a half-lived life. She reflected on her passionate existence and felt deep regret for not having expressed her love a little more to all those who had stood by her side.
She regretted those she had unintentionally hurt, never intending to cause pain. She sought forgiveness from God and expressed gratitude for the beautiful life she had lived. Happy and free, she soared into the skies.

As the clouds drew near, light began to envelop her, and before she knew it, she was floating in a radiant mist, light and airy. Her existence felt transparent, and her thoughts effortlessly transformed into words.
“Where am I? How did I end up here?”, Amelia pondered.
A voice responded, "You are here because it is time for your judgment. The eternal light will assess your life and decide if you are ready to return home or if your journey must continue."
Amelia looked around, searching for the source of the voice.
"Who are you?", she asked.
Silence followed.
"Am I dead?", Amelia inquired.
"Oh, my beloved soul, you have been gone for many years. Now is simply your time to awaken once more. You have rested long enough", the voice said.
Amelia felt uncertain about her emotions.
"Who were all those people I saw?", she asked.
"Those people were you, in your past lives. You are here to be judged for all the lives you have lived until now", the voice replied.
"But why must I relive everything?", Amelia asked, weary.
"Souls can discern right from wrong. By reliving your final moments on Earth in each life, you will come to understand and accept the ultimate judgment. Only then can you evolve, no matter what world you enter next."

Amelia reflected on the lives she had lived and the emotions she had experienced as she relived those moments. The joyful times warmed her, enveloping her in a red aura. She felt love like never before, holding it tightly in her hands. Every soul she had encountered, every soul waiting for her, filled her with a wild desire to experience those feelings again. She longed to connect with more souls, to bond with them, to travel and absorb the world, to feel love in its fullest form.
But then she recalled the lives where she felt lost, where she found herself there unintentionally or simply because she never found the right path. How futile those lives seemed, and she mourned the time wasted. Each lost moment felt like a gamble she had already lost.
Amelia's aura began to shift, darkening, especially when she remembered the lives where she had been ruthless and harsh. In those lives, she had so boldly taken others' lives. Unable to contain her pain, she broke down in tears. How could she have ever been so merciless? How could she have acted that way?
"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry...", she murmured.
"Now you understand, right?", the voice asked.
Amelia didn't respond, but she fully grasped the situation. Deep down, she knew this was the just outcome for the lives she had led until now. She lifted her head and saw them approaching from a distance.
"I'm ready!", Amelia thought.
She wiped her tears and moved toward them.