She couldn't remember how she got here, or how the tides had shifted to bring her to this point but here she was, a dating site, single, longing for the one who would end her loneliness forever. It was the winter of her 37th year and she was scrolling through her new likes very despondently, when a young man with bright brilliant blue eyes and curly brown hair caught her eye. Her first thought was he was younger than her, and not the typical man she went for, but a tug at her heart as she read his bio, he was intriguing and she felt the nudge to push that heart. It was instant, electric from the start. When the two of them matched they instantly started messaging and he caught her by surprise with complete honesty that shook her to the core. He was so genuine and immediately they connected with shared interests and desires. She wondered to herself "is he for real?" yet theirs was a real connection and she wanted to know more. She wanted to know him and it seemed he felt the same. Their connection grew quickly, hours felt lke days,days felt like weeks, they couldnt believe God had brought such fortune into their lives. Messages then phone calls, then FaceTime and flirting, they talked everyday, all day, she was his morning, he was her night, all waking thoughts were of each other. It wasnt long before they agreed to meet and made arrangements. The moment he stepped out of that car it was there, that spark, that flame that set her soul on fire and gave her butterflies. She was nervous, he was scared but with him beside her and her hand in his, she felt like she could fly. On their 2nd date, her heart leapt, they were so comfortable as if it had been years of knowing each other instead of weeks, she felt like she was home when she was in his arms and thanked God everyday. He was the one and she knew that to her core and every prayer was answered, all the years she spent waiting was worth it. She loved him, finally she had him and he made her feel valued, adored, and cherished. He was more than she had ever hoped for. Every day brought excitement, light, fulfillment and in his arms she knew she was safe, wanted, and adored, though he was beautifully broken like she was and he doubted himself, she could see more behind those deep blue eyes and they would get lost staring into each other's eyes, their love sparkled and brought them peace. Then the wall cracked, scared and expecting the worst, the storm blew in. The broken pieces that had been mended began to bleed again and she was rejected and pushed away. He wouldn't allow himself to feel what she felt, she was totally blindsided and stripped of pride and dignity. She clung on to him for as long as time allowed, compromised her hopes and got lost in what should've been and he took from her arms, her lips, all her charms the comfort she offered. He was her lifeline, her world turned upside down in the ferocious waves, she clung to him hoping her love would be the lighthouse to guide them through, but alas..they crashed and lost everything.
Then, as her world crumbled, he let her down. The compassion and tenderness she craved and was used to from him was so distant that she ached for him and the way it used to be. Flames of desire and longing burned in her core but he withdrew even more, reaching out just enough to show that he still cared, but she needed his arms, his strength, his crushing weight inside her to help ease the sting. They hid that love, the forced away the feelings to keep things the way they were but without the warmth she felt empty. He knew she was the only one to satisfy his longing, and he knew she loved him but he had too many scars, he felt she deserved more so he pushed her back, took her hand, led her into casual where he wouldn't have to sacrifice and she could never do what his past did. In his arms it's still home, but she can't tell him or he may run. She loves him, it's irrevocable and will never change, noone else will be good enough, he completed her soul, she could heal his heart but only if he would take her in his arms again! Time marches on and the they can't retreat, a love so real and fragile, covered and hidden. Lost in the concept of being alone, she clings and he won't let her go. She knows she will wait forever, hes where her heart belongs, fulfills every need, every desire but will he ever change his mind? Open his heart? Or will it be an unrequited love, hidden from view, that only they share?
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