She couldn't remember how she got here; especially considering from where she'd come. 

In this homey kitchen that wrapped her in the savory aromas of a man cooked meal. In this two story haven in the woods, 4 miles of gravel in either direction, 20 minutes to the nearest town. The sunset light played tricks in her oldest daughter's blonde locks as she danced around the house to songs only she knew the words to.

 Bewilderment ran rampant across her son's face. He was in awe of the beauty of his simple little family; marching right along to the tune of his sister's silent drum. Finally, -unaware of her lack of invitation to the party- baby sister, not even 18 months yet, came urgently crashing in. 

Genesis' timing now off and system going into meltdown mode, began frantically demanding reassurance " it's okay, it's okay" she echoed, becoming more distraught with every Hannah giggle. 

Jeremiah reached out and softly led Hannah to an acceptable distance from Genesis, as mom came to perform damage control. 

She couldn't remember how she got here specifically, but the last 5 yrs with Genesis flooded her senses every day. It all happened so fast and yet the years had crawled by. 

Before there were three, there was just her. Her mother and father's perfect beginning. The first beautiful baby to make their union a family. For the first two years she was everything they'd ever prayed for, a gorgeous, healthy baby girl. Bright blue eyes filled with a passion for the wild things.

Then one day, right after her second birthday, Genesis stopped progressing; and began regressing. Her mother longed, day after day and then month after month to hear " I love you mommy" 

"She's just stubborn" she and her husband swore to themselves. Then they finally conceded to speech and occupational therapy. After all, some kids just need a little extra, that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with her. 

Rebecca held her daughter who was now sobbing because of the mere presence of her little sister entering the room at the wrong time. She couldn't remember how she got here, or how on earth she would ever explain to her babies why things were different for their big sister. How will they ever think this is fair?

As she sat in the floor and provided her daughter with a positive sensory input of deep hugs; she saw her too grown up son, freshly turned 4, keeping life moving. Dancing with his little sister to a song he'd made up on the fly. 

Pride and guilt ambushed her psyche and she found that her own silent tears began to mix with those of her daughter. This incited a burst of laughter from the petite 7 yr old and all was right with the world once more. 

" Who's ready for dinner?" Jesse's voice rang through the house like a lyrical dinner bell. 

With plates fixed with only her favorites, Genesis beamed at the site of brisket and macaroni and cheese. The intrusive green beans mocked her as she was careful to not let anything touch them. 

Jeremiah, always so grateful and charming was sure to tell his daddy " this is de-licious!" Before the first bite ever passed his lips.

Rebecca's appetite had fled her and she was now lost inside herself. She thought back to her own childhood, the normalcy of it all, until one day it wasn't. The monotony of life lived with minimal difficulties. The peace her mother must have lost the very first time her daughter ever had a seizure; how from that day forward nothing would be normal or mondaine again. 

It had been the same with Genesis. After the first year of therapy and knowing, there was more. That she would need so much more than Rebecca and Jesse could ever give her with homeschooling and therapy alone. 

" All done mommy!" Jeremiah's excited little voice cut through the static of distant, irrelevant memories.

" Awesome! You did great my sweet boy!" 

" High five" Jesse accompanied. 

Genesis angrily shoved her fork full of green beans in her mouth.

" What if she stabs her mouth? What if she chokes? Why can't I help her understand?" 

She reached for her cup of water to wash down the offense and "ooooops" meltdown number -lost count hours ago- ensued. 

Mom to the rescue with a dry towel and fresh cup of water and all the hugs and kisses and deep breaths necessary to move on. 

The diagnosis opened a lot of doors. Lists of Invaluable resources that just went on for days. Play dates and activities, music therapy and even dating classes ( should her mother and father ever allow her to date ) transition tools into the workplace. So many options available for her and her needs. So much drive time and gas, and over compensating for Jeremiah. He must feel loved and special too. 

As she and her first born miracle lay on the cool floor taking deep breaths and blowing the loose hair out of their eyes; Jeremiah giggled magically in the bathtub, equipped with his beautiful brain and a wash cloth. Hannah laughed menacingly as she ran from Jesse; armed with pajamas and a bedtime kiss. 

Genesis looked at Rebecca. No more tears. No more shaking. " I love you mommy" she whispers. " I love you my precious angel" she whispered back. 

Images of all of Genesis' progress flickered through her mind like an old picture show. First her letters then her name. Then numbers and shapes. Every song she'd ever heard echoed in perfect time and harmony. Her silly common sense sentences " Don't touch the snake he will bite you!" Miraculous. 

She couldn't remember how she got here, step by step, but she knew undoubtedly what brought her here and what would carry her forward.

Jesse had always worked very hard. Sacrificing his body on the alter of hard labor for the beloved outcome of paid bills. Extra resources required extra funds, so Rebecca went back to work. She'd always enjoyed the immediate gratification of being objectively good at your job. The "thank you" from happy customers, the "you're my favorite cashier" comments. There was always the looming risk of her seizures getting out of control however. 

She was diagnosed with epilepsy in her youth and no medication had ever fully diminished her convulsions. Though she loved to work and she loved to be with her babies the stress of doing both always ended with increased seizure activity and ultimately quitting another job for health reasons.

When she was working she was a rockstar, but it was always short lived. "Just long enough to get her into music therapy" was the thought process. 

Over 30 seizures later and one summer that she wished would last forever, Rebecca found herself living with her parents 5 days a week so that she and her children would be safe while Jesse worked. She found that her role as their teacher would be handed over to the teachers of a public school. She found herself trying to remember how she got here. She looked at all that she had before her and knew, it hadn't mattered how she got here, only how she would move forward. With her husband's hand in hers and Jeremiah's in the other, Genesis on her shoulders and Hannah on her daddy's, they would all move forward from this life into one that will put all we hold dear, at the center.