You have had your bath. You’re in your bed. The sheets were just washed and they smell fresh and clean. The moonlight is making shadows on the ceiling. You hear noises. Voices. Your dad’s voice and someone else’s voice. You get out of bed and you tiptoe down the stairs. Halfway down you stop and you look silently through the bannister. Your daddy is kissing someone and it is not your mother. This lady has long blond hair that flows past her shoulders. Your mother’s hair is short and brown. It gets frizzy when it’s humid outside. This lady is slender and she’s wearing a shining blue dress. Your mother is not slender. You know because she told you that she is determined to lose that last 10 pounds. She doesn’t have a shining blue dress. Your mother wears slacks or house dresses that you’ve seen a million times. Your daddy and this lady are pressing together so hard it looks like they are going to eat each other. Then the lady lays down on the couch and your daddy lays on top of her. They are making noises. You tiptoe back to your bed. You don’t want to see what happens next.

You can’t fall asleep. Where is your mother? You haven’t seen her in a long time. You miss her. Your daddy said she went away. He said she doesn’t love you anymore. He said she never did. You want to ask him more but you’re afraid to. Daddy gets mad. When you open your eyes sunlight is streaming through your window. You go to the kitchen and you look around for the lady. She isn’t there. Your daddy is there and he is pulling boxes of cereal down from the cupboard. You want to ask him about the lady but you don’t. He’s smiling but that can change in an instant. You’ve seen it happen. He puts a bowl and a spoon in front of you and you say “Frosted Flakes” Your daddy pulls a carton of milk out of the refrigerator.