Harper has made it clear that she’s not going to be sleeping with me anymore. Well…mostly clear. As I sit here on her bed, even with porn on my phone and feeling aroused as fuck, I know I’m leaving here with nothing but a hard-on and disappointment. And that’s okay as long as this girl allows us to be friends.

           She grabs the phone from my hands with a large smile on her face. “We might be having a serious conversation, but Megan is still getting railed by that guy, and I want to watch.”

           I raise my hands with confusion building inside of me. “You’ve made it clear that we are friends, but the sex is too much, yet you want to watch porn with me…and it’s porn with a girl that actively wants me?”

           “Yeah!” She says excitedly. “Maybe you should call her, and she can fix your needs. I bet she could give you everything you want and three times a day like you need it.”

           Now my eyes cannot peel away from the cock slipping and sliding out of Megan's ass and the bed slamming against the wall. “I give the guy credit,” I say. “He’s good at lasting for a while.”

           Harper slides her tongue along her lips like she’s hungry. “And porn is a massive turn-on. Even if it sucks, I enjoy it.”

           I exhale with disappointment. “Then why are we watching it? I want to be your best friend. But I cannot sit here and watch porn with my current situation in my pants.”

           “I said no sex.” She explains politely. “But that doesn’t mean you can’t ‘solo’ it in my bathroom. Fuck, I’d watch. Do it right here on my bed.”

           And I thought I was extreme.

           “So, you won’t fuck me, but you’ll watch me masturbate?”

           She nods, her teeth gripping her bottom lip. “Absolutely. I’m basic. But I’m not that fucking basic. We are good friends. Yes, you fucked me. Yes, it was amazing. Yes, we are no longer doing that. But it doesn’t mean you should suffer. I’ll let you rub one out.”

           “Again,” I say, growing wildly confused. “You are aroused, but you’re telling me to masturbate. Wouldn’t that turn you on even more if you watched?”

           She shrugs with a seductive look growing in her eyes. “I might even play with myself. But it doesn’t mean I have to have sex. I can ‘solo’ it and it’s called ‘solo’ for a reason.”

           “Harper. Are you listening to yourself? You had me come over to tell me we are never having sex ever again, but we should remain best friends. Now you’re saying it’s okay for me to ‘solo’ it in front of you, and you might even ‘solo’ it along with me. That always turns into sex.”

           She shakes her head. “No. It doesn’t. And I said I was basic for a reason. ‘Soloing’ it with my friends can be considered basic.”

           “In what fucking world is that basic!” I argue, feeling…I don’t even know what I’m feeling. “Harper. There is no way in fucking hell that I am going to ‘solo’ it in front of you. You will want it from me. And I cannot sit here and ‘solo’ it…” I pause, growing annoyed. “Why the hell am I calling it that? I am not going to masturbate in front of you.”

           She shrugs with disappointment in her expression. “Okay. I wasn’t forcing you or anything. I just figured before you came, I’d slide my mouth and swallow it.”

           “Jesus Christ!” I roar in confusion. “What are you doing right now? YOU called ME over to tell me we are never fucking again. But now YOU are trying to get me to masturbate in front of you and finish in your mouth?”

           She looks hungry. “Consider it a ‘goodbye’ sex gift.”

           I scoff with amusement. “And I thought Megan was the crazy one.”

           “I’m not crazy.” She argues softly. “You’ve opened up something in me that’s been hiding for a long time. And I’m comfortable with pleasuring you…after telling you I’ll never do it again.”

           “That defeats the fucking purpose!” I argue louder. “What do you want from me?”

           “Not sex.” She argues. “But something.”

           “I feel like this is some type of crazy-ass nightmare or a bad dream…I don’t know what the fuck to call it.”

           “Another part of your book?”

           “I’m not writing another book,” I argue, feeling so conflicted. “What do you want from me, Harper?”

           “Nothing.” She smiles and scoots back. “It was all a big joke, Noah. I don’t want you. I want you to include this in your next book. You can’t tell me this wasn’t an amazing scene to add to a book.”

           “Maybe,” I say, feeling even more confused. “But you honestly just did all of that to make a scene and tell me to add it to my next book? None of what you just said was real. It was all a big joke?”

           She chuckles. “Yes. It was a joke. I don’t want to suck you off. Although that video did turn me on, I was serious when I said I wasn’t looking to have sex with you anymore. But it played out well, didn’t it?”

           I breathe the slightest sigh of relief. “You could be one hell of an actor. But you’re twisted by doing what you just did. If I were any other man, he’d take you seriously and some men are douchebags in the sense that they would make you pay that offer.”

           Her lips curl into a comforting smile. “Not Noah Adams.” She says gleefully. “That’s why I can screw around with you like this and get away with it. You’d never hurt me. You like me too much.”

           I do like her a lot. But life can’t always give you what you want.

           “You’re right,” I say and glance down at my phone to check the time. “But I should probably go. I have a few things to finish, and although I rushed over here, I still have one more meeting today.”

           She points at the bulge in my ass. “You’re going to walk around with that thing?”

           I shrug and stand up. “At least make it to my car. It’ll go away. If not, I’ll run home and take care of it.”

           “I wasn’t playing about that part.” She explains and gestures her eyes toward her bathroom. “If you want to ‘solo’ it here, you’re more than welcome to.”

           “It’s a little weird,” I explain, feeling conflicted, confused, and even slightly hurt. “The last time I did anything here, it was unexpected and with you. And it was amazing. I’m sorry, Harper. We can remain friends, but it’s going to take me a minute to adjust to the fact that we slept together, and now we have to turn back time and act like we did before we slept together, while our feelings could be slightly different after that night.”

           She averts her eyes as they wave with agreement. The raise of her eyebrows completes that expression. She knows. And she might feel it too. But she’s right. If she can’t physically have sex with me, I’m refusing to lose her, so we will have to remain what we are without sex. It can’t be that difficult.

           “It’ll be weird.” She says softly.

           I tilt my head the slightest bit and raise an eyebrow. “What will be weird?”

           “When you talk about the other women you’ve slept with. Knowing that I had you and could have you and chose not to is okay. But knowing other women get to sleep with you is where my brain will mix the signals.”

           There’s hope.

           “Harper. If you like me, just tell me. It’s okay. I know you don’t want sex, but we could work toward it if you wanted to. I can be soft and gentle just as much as rough.”

           An expression of hurt and uncertainty fills her face. “That’s just it, Noah. I enjoyed it rough. I just…I can’t.”

           “That’s fine,” I say, glancing down at the bulge in my pants, not going away. “If you don’t mind, I have to go. See you around, Harper.”