We found a time capsule from 1975, but the items inside were from 2025 as well as other times. This makes no sense whatsoever. One was from 2045, at least that’s the date that was on the empty Russian vodka bottle.

Another item was an empty Malossol Russian caviar tin produced between 1990 and 2000. This item had us completely confused. There is also a digital camera with some extremely interesting images from different historical events on it.

There was also a brand new, in the package, mint condition GI Joe doll from 1964. An empty slinky box from 1945. A pristine penny from 1893, and a railroad spike.


The other item was a letter written in Esperanto, which we managed to translate as best as we could, considering that there were several unreadable words scattered throughout the letter, and it looks like it was written by a drunk. We are unsure when the letter was written. Here is a copy of my translation. I included the typographic errors.


Hey you,


I am Dmitri Kalashnikov, yes, I am descended from that Kalashnikov, yes, we still have the number one Avtomat Kalashnikova 47 rifle in the family, and yes, it still workss. With the help of lots of vodka, and mathamagic, we were able to kreate, and and build a time traveling machine. Hahahahaha.


For the first test, we went back to 2045 because they had better vodka than we could get due to the damage to the world from the (five unreadable words) It is very easy to steal a case of vodka when you point an Avtomat Kalashnikova 47 rifle at somebody. Hahahahaha.


We stop in 2025 to pick up a few things for a practical joke. Hahahahaha.


Our next test was to 1990 where we “aqquired” a case of caviar, it was very tasty on black rye toast. Hahahahaha.


The Kennedy Space center in 1986 was much too hot for my likings, but we did get some really nice pictures of the challenger going kaboom.


Many apologieses for three mile island, I was recharging my time traveling machine and I had to piss and did not disconnect in time. Ooooops!


The Woodstock festival was fun, do not take the brown acid, it gived me a bad trip. But I did get very nice pictures of Janis Joplin, she was very nice lady, we shared vodka. Hahahahaha.


We stopped in New York City to see The Beatles perform, and we picked up a funy doll named Joe. Hahahahaha.


We had to stop in 1961 so I could watch my hero, well my second hero, Yuri Gargarian launch into space. Long live the Motherland!


No trip in time would be complete for a Russian without watching the Sputnik launch! Long live the mother land.


Opening say for the Disneyland was crowded, it was hot, water was hard to find. It was funny watching women sink into the pavement, lots of Americans with more money than brains. But with typical Russian genis, we get in for free. Hahahahaha.


We go to Kazakhastan in 1949 to watch from safe distance as the Motherland makes a great big KABOOOOM! Oh, we also run out of vodka and steal another case. Long live the Motherland.


We go to Gimbal store, my friend confuses the peoples and I aqquire a slinky toy. Hahahahaha.


There is too much war in the 1940s, so we just stopped to take pictures of Mount Rushmore as they took the scaffolds down.


In 1939 we stop to watch my first hero Igor Sikorski, even though he abandonded the Motherland, take the first flight in a helicopter!


Our next stop is 1937 to watch the Hindenburg to go boom. Hydrogen is nothing to play with.


We go watch Amelia Earhart land after she crosses the Atlantic. Such a primitive flying machine. I need to make a bigger time traveling machine, come back and steal it. Hahahahaha.


If you watch Amelia fly, you have to go watch Lindburg land his even more primitive flying machine. Maybe I steal this one too! Hahahahaha


We stop in 1924 to pay respects to Vladimir Lenin and steal more Vodka. Long live the Motherland!


The Titanic, we had to take pictures of the unsinkable hahahahaha ship as she left the dock! No ship is unsinkable! We also try a cookie called an Oreo.


HMS Dreadnaught is a (three unreadable words) than the Titanic, even if it was launched six years earlier. Hahahahaha.


The Wright Brothers sure did have a primitive flying machine, I would never even consider trying to fly in it. Hahahahaha.


Chicago was interesting we went to the Columbian Exposition, they did not have Vodka, (four unknown words) we did manage to find some coins. Hahahahaha.


The Americans make such a big to do about the opening of The Brooklyn Bridge. We took dome good pictures of this, and managed to steal some food while the vendor was busy. Hahahahaha.


Back to Chicago, this time to watch it burn because a cow kicked over a lantern.


We show up in time to watch them drive the final spike in the Transcontinental railroad. I (four smeared words) spikes as a trophy. Hahahahaha.


Hearing about gold and buffalo in the west we decide to go back a few years to (four unreadable words here) Nevada in 1859. We managed to find some gold. We are running low on vodka again.


The London Exhibition of Technology was impressive. These (four Russian words) primitive compared to what we have, but to the people they were the future. Hahahahaha.


Our next stop is the historic steam boat race of 1847 with (four smeared words) on the river in New York City. Such entertainment, (three smeared words) sums of money on the race. My companion managed to aqquire several pocket flasks of vile American whiskey. Hahahahaha.


We are off to Virginia to watch McCormick scare the (three unreadable words) his neighbors with his new reaping machine for wheat. Who wold have guessed that this machine would be so loud?Hahahahaha.


We tried to go further back in time but it seems (five unreadable words) of the time traveling machine and we will be stopping in 1976 to fix this time capsule that we have heard about. Hahahahaha.


All in all this letter, and these items are very odd. This Dmitri seems to be very unhinged, but then, there is a fine line between genius and madness.