Self- Sabotage

Bill Hardy has a neurotic personality He is 46 yrs. old lives by himself. His fears are overwhelming. He sleeps with a nightlight. The dark is most fearful. His panic attacks seem to happen just thinking about it. The dark is not his friend. Closing his eyes just to sleep puts him in a frenzy. He watches TV until he gets so tired he just passes out. On the night of February 26th, he had a very hard time falling asleep. His mind would wander. Thinking about everything he had done during the day. He finally passed out at 2am.When he awoke, he was not in his bed he was in a bog with dead bodies all around him. The water is extremely cold. Screaming and trying to escape the horror. He makes it to the side of the grassy muddy edge slipping back into the bog with bodies seeming to be pulling him in farther. He tries with all his might to escape their grasps. He makes it to the edge and drags himself up onto the grass. He hoisted himself up slipping again and again. It's no use he cries. This swamp is going to succumb me. I will forever be with the dead in the bog. A panic attack sets in racing heartbeat, trembling, shortness of breath, getting dizzy. The anxiety is getting worse. I need to take a deep breath; I need to focus if I'm going to get away from here. He drags himself through the rotted leaves and plants, waist deep in the mud. Feeling like quicksand ready to suck me in. Exhausted, I spot a tree branch close to the ground, trying to lean forward dragging myself closer to reach the branch. I reached the branch grabbing it but my hands slipping from the mud. I feel as if I can't go on. I close my eyes fearing the dark. I lose consciousness I begin to spiral farther and farther into the bog. I'm in a dream like state. Feelings of peace, detaching from my body. I shiver profusely. My eyes open wide I am in my bed covered in mud next to me is a bog body. I let out a blood curdling scream. The body starts to dry out and crumble. I jump out of bed I land back into the swampy bog. Splashing my arms franticly. Decomposing flesh hanging from the bones of human remains. What kind of hell is this I screamed? a bog man floats up to confront Bill. What kind of hell is this you ask? You simply little man who fears everything. I am the voice of reason, I see you tremble uncontrollably You are frightened of me as you are frightened with your life. You pathetic, fearful little excuse of a man who is afraid of your own shadow. Your lack of courage is cowardness. Bill closed his eyes in fear. Choose your path fear or bravery. Bravery is what you do to overcome fear. Fear is what you do to overcome bravery. Conquer your fears! Bravery is not about the lack of fear but facing them with the courage to confront it. WAKE UP!!! Bill Shivered opened his eyes he was back in bed. Looking over the side of his bed fearing he would land back in the swamp. He needed to make sure he saw the floor. He got out of bed. Walked to the bathroom, splashed water on his face. What does he see in the mirror? An apparition of strange faces. Seeing himself all distorted Confronted by his reflection in the mirror. Seeing himself as others see him from his childhood to present. Fear, sadness all types of emotions are in his reflection. The mirror shatters as the reflection of fear was the last emotion Bill saw. He is now filled with fear for the rest of his pathetic life. Never knowing bravery. Dread, terror, fright, distress, horror, nightmares the madness. He is losing his mind, going insane. Losing contact with reality. Self-sabotage. There is no way to escape these emotions. My life is traumatized and frustrating the cycle never ends. Stop the world I want to get off. Alone in life and alone in death. Bill closes his eyes never to awaken again. He wallowed in his pity. With no defense against it. He was drained of all his senses. Not being able to fight his fears he succumbed to his death. The spirit of Death took this fearful, weak man unexpectedly. Bill did not overcome his fears. Fear was his enemy. He is now at peace.